Talking The Talk - Healthy Sexuality Conversations

The issue of consent teaching has made headlines recently, culminating in the government's announcement that consent education will be compulsory in Australian schools from 2023. Kit and Arlo Find a Way: Teaching consent to 8-12 year olds by author-educators Ingrid Laguna and Vanessa Hamilton (1 June 2022), is a unique book that illustrates what excellence in consent education in the upper primary years looks like.

Talking about consent with kids has nothing to do with talking about sex.
In classrooms I use two stories when talking to kids about consent. Listen to the podcast or watch the video for a demonstration on how easy it can be to talk about tieing shoelaces and playing Lego with someone as a way to explain consent topics like:
Making fundamental decisions not just about actions, consent is ongoing /continual mutual agreement regarding a shared experience. Important words are: permission, respect, communication, pleasure, fun, enjoyment, generosity, reciprocity, mutual and enthusiastic just to name a few....

What does a Teacher, a Psychologist, and a Sexual Health Nurse Educator want adults to know about how simple it can be to keep kids safe in this digital world?

Vanessa reads and discusses samples of content from the E-book - Being A Sexual Being (BASB) How to have Sexuality Conversations with kids ages 4-12 yo.

Vanessa reads and discusses samples of content from the E-book - Being A Sexual Being (BASB) How to have Sexuality Conversations with kids ages 4-12 yo.

Vanessa reads and discusses samples of content from the E-book - Being A Sexual Being (BASB) How to have Sexuality Conversations with kids ages 4-12 yo.

Vanessa reads and discusses samples of content from the E-book - Being A Sexual Being (BASB) How to have Sexuality Conversations with kids ages 4-12 yo.

Vanessa reads and discusses samples of content from the E-book - Being A Sexual Being (BASB) How to have Sexuality Conversations with kids ages 4-12 yo.

Vanessa reads and discusses samples of content from the E-book - Being A Sexual Being (BASB) How to have Sexuality Conversations with kids ages 4-12 yo.

Vanessa reads and discusses samples of content from the E-book - Being A Sexual Being (BASB) How to have Sexuality Conversations with kids ages 4-12 yo.

Vanessa reads and discusses samples of content from the E-book - Being A Sexual Being (BASB) How to have Sexuality Conversations with kids ages 4-12 yo.

Vanessa reads and discusses samples of content from the E-book - Being A Sexual Being (BASB) How to have Sexuality Conversations with kids ages 4-12 yo.

Vanessa reads and discusses samples of content from the E-book - Being A Sexual Being (BASB) How to have Sexuality Conversations with kids ages 4-12 yo.

Vanessa reads and discusses samples of content from the E-book - Being A Sexual Being (BASB) How to have Sexuality Conversations with kids ages 4-12 yo.

Vanessa reads and discusses samples of content from the E-book - Being A Sexual Being (BASB) How to have Sexuality Conversations with kids ages 4-12 yo.

The problem with 'gender' reveal parties is they are not revealing genderI cringe every time I see a gender reveal party. There is so much that is wrong with it, but perhaps the worst part is when someone is disappointed with the reveal outcome. Resulting in one or more parents (and other people in the baby's life, i.e. relatives and siblings) disappointed with who that child is before they are even born.
But who is the child anyway if they are revealed as 'male' or 'female'? What does that mean?
Why are stereotypes about males and females so problematic?

If your child told you they were lesbian or gay or bisexual or pansexual, how would you react? Lots of parents ask me how to support their children's sexual diversity.

I get many questions especially related to attraction/orientation (who they are attracted to). Most are worried about how best to support their child. They are often worried for their safety. Parents should be proud that their child felt safe enough to tell them about their sexual orientation.

I worry about the kids who don't have an adult to tell. These podcasts are designed to prepare all parents for the potential for their child, or another, might tell them they are gay or bisexual or gender diverse or trans. Adults often assume that all kids are heterosexual and cisgender (straight and gender matches their sex assigned at birth) but this is not a reflection of human sexual diversity.

Humans are diverse and that includes sexuality.
Humans never have been or never will be simply heterosexual and/or cisgender.

There is broad diversity of Human Sexuality.
Within LGBTIQA+ communities there are a wide range of terms and language related to all aspects of human sexuality i.e. sex, bodies, gender, expression, attraction, orientation, experience...and more.
Young people especially who are LGBTIQA+ are at risk of decreased wellbeing such as mental health because they experience increased rates of discrimination and bullying.
Adults can best protect our young people by being well educated themselves about the diversity of humans and how to not only respect but celebrate unique individuality.

At every parent session I am asked what level of information about sex and sexuality is appropriate for different ages and stages?
Parents play a crucial role in ensuring the ongoing health, safety and wellbeing of their child in regards to sexual health and sexuality development and that includes being their main sexuality educator and source of reliable accurate information so...
Over 3 podcast episodes - number 7, 8 and 9, I'll break down by age, what is typically expected human sexuality development and behaviour for children and I'll suggest some conversations you could (read should) be having at those ages and stages.
I recommend you listen to all three if you have primary school age children, in this episode we will talk about ages 9-12 years.

At every parent session I am asked what level of information about sex and sexuality is appropriate for different ages and stages?
Parents play a crucial role in ensuring the ongoing health, safety and wellbeing of their child in regards to sexual health and sexuality development and that includes being their main sexuality educator and source of reliable accurate information so...
Over 3 podcast episodes - number 7, 8 and 9, I'll break down by age, what is typically expected human sexuality development and behaviour for children and I'll suggest some conversations you could (read should) be having at those ages and stages.
I recommend you listen to all three if you have primary school age children, in this episode we will talk about ages 5-8 years.

At every parent session I am asked what level of information about sex and sexuality is appropriate for different ages and stages?
Parents play a crucial role in ensuring the ongoing health, safety and wellbeing of their child in regards to sexual health and sexuality development and that includes being their main sexuality educator and source of reliable accurate information so...
Over 3 podcast episodes - number 7, 8 and 9, I'll break down by age, what is typically expected human sexuality development and behaviour for children and I'll suggest some conversations you could (read should) be having at those ages and stages.
I recommend you listen to all three if you have primary school age children, in this episode we will talk about ages 0 - 5 years.

At nearly every parent session, I get asked the question:
Have you watched the Netflix series, Sex Education?
Followed closely with the question "What is your opinion of letting teens watch it?"
Parents always praise the show saying how good it is but is it suitable for kids?
Well due to Covid- 19 isolation I finally found the time to watch it - and I did so with one of my teens - here is what I think about it, be warned this is a long episode and that's because Human Sexuality is so complex and this show addresses so many of the topics.

Have you thought about Human Sexuality and Respectful Relationships as a subject that kids should be taught during home schooling? This podcast covers what you can be teaching kids, about sex and sexuality, while they are at home during isolation.

Have you ever thought about the actual word sex and what it means? Have you ever thought about how this word can complicate and even prevent conversations about sex and sexuality? Especially with kids? This episode we talk bout the differences of sex and sexuality and what they actually mean and the impact these words have on sex and sexuality education. Vanessa will explain why she thinks we should scrap the word sex.

This was more a feedback and thank you from a parent, rather than a question. They called me to thank me for teaching them body safety tips to teach children as this resulted in their child disclosing some behaviour by a family member that was causing them distress.