River's Fog

Holy cow its been a year since we dropped our last episode after dropping an episode almost weekly for a year after our hosted nonprofit organization, What Matters Most Evansville was founded in early 2020. 

Founder, Andrea, took what was thought to be a few week hiatus from the nonprofit and this podcast which turned into months and felt it in her bones she couldn't go a year, for many reasons.

We need help with editing because we are still sitting on 6 interviews to be dropped and we've got some additional content to share including some awesome ripples in the water some of our former guests have been making since interviewed! 

Editing is one of the many things we hope to fundraise for because we hope to continue dropping an episode at least monthly with the goal of them becoming more interactive where people can call/write in.

Our Share Your Grief Story Anonymously project has continued to receive letters and we want to share them.

Lets connect and collaborate so Evansville can be a place more people can live well and die well because we can grieve well, all the losses. WMME has been approached by a few organizations to consider partnering to best meet individual needs. 

John Byers was sentenced to prison in his 20s for essentially the rest of his life for drug conspiracy after dropping out of college to sell cocaine. He had never drank or done drugs, yet was the first federal trail in Indiana in 1998. He speaks to his journey that "your desire to grow must be larger than your obstacles" and “keep working and never give up.”  He shares his journey before, during, and after his time in prison which surprisingly ended early. This includes spiritual and cultural experiences being Muslim, love for money, angered grief to transformative knowledge and patience. After being released early he went to hair school to pass time, but now loves being a hair stylist!

To learn more and follow his art and inspiration: 

https://www.facebook.com/wisdom.byers.5 

https://www.instagram.com/johndouglasbyers/

 

Today's episode includes the sharing of a letter we received for our Share Your Grief Story, Anonymously Project- speaking to the grief stemming from parts of her strong German heritage she wants left behind.

We also review some ways you can get involved, updates on transcripts, ways to donate and a review of prior episodes.

Last, but not least- Andrea does her own remix on Salt-N-Pepa on grief (warning- Andrea is not a rapper)

 

DeAndre Wilson is a native to Evansville, IN. He shares his struggles, grief and how leaning into the discomfort has let him roll with the unexpected as he moves forward as a serial entrepreneur- literally and figuratively. This includes, but not limited to his father dying from cancer, loosing a 100 lb, and facing his community's systemic racism. He is a Culinary Curator, Small Business Owner and Brand Builder, dedicated to being a change agent by developing more inclusive and accessible channels for entrepreneurs to gain long term success in his community.

Find him on social media, handle: DeAndre D Wilson

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/deandre.wilson.90 

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/deandre-wilson-778a398a/

Youtube: https://youtu.be/htOUy9lkGwc

Former respiratory therapist and Mary Kay saleswoman turned life coach. She speaks to her journey, ambiguous grief, the importance of acknowledging your grief and taking actionable steps to become your true self. 

To learn more about her work be sure to check out: https://amilloyd.com/wordpress/about-ami/

Contact info if you or someone you know should be a guest on our podcast: WhatMattersMostEvv@gmail.com OR contact us on facebook @WMMEVV 

Don't forget about our Share Your Grief Story, Anonymously project. You can mail in to WMME, PO Box 112, Elberfeld, IN 47613 Contact us or see our facebook page for further details. 

Megan Smith is an artist and author who shares various grief journeys in her life from being bullied as a child, caring for a child with special medical needs and loosing her best friend to suicide. She rediscovered her passion for art while grieving which not only helped heal some of the pain but also grew into something much bigger than expected- starting her own business and making a doll for her favorite celebrity of all time! 

You can shop for your own munchie monster, doll, and more on Etsy @ Stichedfromthecrypt and follow her on facebook @Stitchedfromthecrypt

Megan's children books: Lola and the Munchie Monsters: https://www.amazon.com/Lola-Munchie-Monsters-Megan-Smith/dp/0692843922/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1614741097&sr=8-2     

 and also her book dedicated to her friend whom was her light when bullied:  Fidget and the Bully Bots: https://www.amazon.com/Fidget-Bully-Bots-Megan-Smith/dp/0692079130/ref=sr_1_2?dchild=1&keywords=book+fidget+and+the+bully+bots&qid=1614741401&sr=8-2 

See the main show notes for further details to learn more about What Matters Most? Evansville, Inc, including if you or someone you know wants to be a guest on our podcast. 

Layne Miller is a local to the Evansville, IN area although he was adopted from Mexico as an infant.  He shares how leaning into his passion for music got him through various parts of his life.  He continues to play the piano, write songs and cover some of his favorites - from Frank Sinatra to Elvis and the great big bands, swing and easy listening. He speaks to how he has never looked at life and music the same since his older sister died unexpectedly in a tragic car accident. Although he remains open to recording more and performing live- he simply plays for his self care, growth and at times it helps him when people don't understand him or even his music.  Over the past 18years he's been quietly embarking on a little music journey of his own as an aspiring lyricist and composer. Every now and then he'll even share his music with an audience.  We feature some of his songs this episode.  He is single and hopeful to find love one of these days with a classy gal who appreciates kindness, and ideally his music too. 

YouTube: Layne Miller
Instagram: @lvmill6
Facebook: Layne Miller

To support and learn more about What Matters Most? Evansville- striving to be a catalyst to create community-wide mindfulness of grief in your community-  https://instabio.cc/lantzdreams  to access our facebook, Patreon, & Gofundme to donate and stay up to date on projects , or simply to share your ideas, passions and stories. Do you or someone you know have a story you want to share?   Contact us directly at WhatMattersMostEvv@gmail.com and 812-389-0182

Tara and Sabrina share their story from sharing a burger to now having started a business together, Professional Grief Solutions, LLC. It focuses on such a big need during the pandemic- supporting healthcare workers in high-loss environments.  Tara shares openly her raw experience struggling with grief and not wanting to live after her 5 month old son died in a traumatic car accident and how her own grief journey lead her into supporting others coping with grief and death.   She is determined to providing care for the professional caregiver.  PROFESSIONAL GRIEF SOLUTIONS, LLC: support for individuals, groups and healthcare organizations. Be sure to check out their website for more details including listed resources and their own grief journal and workbook. Contact them to explore ways to do your job which includes grief!  www.professionalgriefsolutions.com 812-573-7516             LinkedIn @ professional-grief-solutions-llc/          Facebook@ professionalgriefsolutions The closing song on this episode is written/sang/played by Sabrina herself: Linger. Copyright 2017, Sabrina Newton Abe and Sarah Music (BMI). http://www.griefnet.org Click here to support and learn more about What Matters Most? Evansville- striving to be a catalyst to create community-wide mindfulness of grief in your community- click:  https://instabio.cc/lantzdreams  to access our facebook, Patreon, & Gofundme to support and stay up to date on projects and podcast links- including ways to share your passions, ideas or story!  Contact us directly at WhatMattersMostEvv@gmail.com and 812-389-0182 

Andrea interviewed Jill in the summer of 2020 and finally has converted the file to a useable audio to share her great works in creating Death and Donuts! We thought it would be a great way to kick off the new year to share their new virtual meeting times and encourage donuts with new year resolutions. So grab a cup of coffee and able a donut as you enjoy:  Jill Brinkley knew after her mother died she wanted to help families plan their funerals after being impressed by the funeral home staff.  She has worked at Alexander Funeral Home ever since who has supported her passion for planned funerals and a good death. Who doesn't enjoy a good coffee and donut!?? This is what inspired creating a community conversation, Death and Donuts, in August of 2018. It provides routine candid, open discussions about all end-of-life issues in a comfortable, cheerful atmosphere.  Little did she  know the pandemic would transform it into a virtual opportunity to invite nationally recognized speakers and authors in addition to attendees from across the country.   Death & Donuts (based out of Evansville, IN). Virtual monthly Zoom meetings held on the second Thursday from 6-7:30pm CST. To obtain Zoom link or be added to the email list you can email jillian.brinkley@dignitymemorial.com or call 812-423-4477. Be sure to like on facebook @ AlexandersDandD or visit www.AlexanderWestChapel.com  If interested in learning more about Dr BJ Miller BJ Miller: What really matters at the end of life https://www.ted.com/talks/bj_miller_what_really_matters_at_the_end_of_life. you can find Jill’s Death & Donuts zoom meeting from this summer on their facebook page; his new company at https://www.mettlehealth.com/, his book A Beginners Guide to the End at https://www.abgtte.com/ or check out our first River’s Fog podcast with our interview with him. http://every1dies.org/ is a website you can find some great podcasts by some great folks who will be join us as guest in months to come Recommended books to help you become friends with death so you can live a more meaningful life: Talking About Death Won’t Kill You by Virginia Morris A Beginners Guide to the End by BJ Miller and Shoshana Berger Being Mortal by Atul Gawande The Five Invitations By Frank Ostaseski The Art of Dying Well by Katy Butler With The End In Mind by Kathryn Mannix When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi What Matters Most? Evansville, Inc To learn more about us and to support us- be sure to like and follow us on facebook & Patreon at WMMEVV or www.gofundme.com/f/WMMERipplesintheWater  -Contact us at WhatMattersMostEvv@gmail.com with questions, feedback or if you or someone you know should be a guest on our show! 

Nicole Casteel is a Sound Healer, Vocal Alchemist, and Intuitive Coach.  She taps into, creates, and grows space for healing. She shares with us how she came into the sound healing world after being super classically trained in vocalist performance and Opera. This includes discussing the death of her own identity as she searched to find her truth when healing from layered grief and the actual death of her father.  Nicole gifts us with her story of how she decided to radically change how she chooses to experience her grief and emotions by practicing energetic hygiene and now teaching breath work, facilitating drum circles, well-ness retreats, virtual sound healing, coaching and much more. We discuss the impacts of trapped grief and trauma in our DNA from our ancestors. This includes briefing relationships with social injustice and racism- that it’s never too late to heal parts of our ancestors and impacts on future generations. She brings inspiration, new insight, and encouragement to better KNOW THY SELF. WMM?E values this and believes in order for us to better support and cope with grief as a community, we must first tend to ourselves.  Nicole wrote:  " riding the waves of intensity, longing, knowing and then unknowing... the one thing I come back to that is constant -My breath. It is the bridge between my conscious and subconscious mind (where all the healing happens), it is the very first thing I did when I entered this world and the very last thing I will do when I leave (all the layers around death and birth which basically sums up everything). It is the thing I can control and also not control. It opens my heart, where the TRUTH about everything is always hiding, and it connects me. Because we are all in lots of uncertain spaces right now and the breath is the place where we can lean into that and make space for the new things to emerge. It can be as simple as breathing instead of reacting. Right here, right now." Clients have posted "She is channeling medicine that bridges heaven & earth. I was transported to places I didn’t even know I needed to go. Pure magic.”  To learn more about her work, how to sign up for your own virtual breath work, sound healing and 1:1 coaching- be sure to check out: https://www.nicolecasteel.com/    or on IG & FB @wildheartresonance Remember, don't hold your grief in- it must be processed or shared in some context, even if alone while spending time grounding on the earth, mindful breathing- and even writing it down and mailing in as part of our "Share Your Grief Story" project. To support our ripples in the water, keep updated on projects, share your story, passion and ideas- please visit our facebook or Patreon @ WMMEVV  or contact us directly at: WhatMattersMostEvv@gmail.com 

Dr Errin Wiseman is not your average physician, however she is supporting more female medical providers to tap into something that should be the norm.  Her sassy style is the perfect natural medicine of Physician meets Life Coach, Podcaster, in addition to Burnout Expert & Badass Mother. Join us as she shares her grief story of being a high achiever in essentially anything she ever does to feeling down, empty, trapped and desperate for change.   It wasn't until she worked with a life coach and got real with herself and why she went to medical school in the first place- to help people feel well. Little did she know her career would transform her healing superpowers to inspire and encourage more medical providers to live their best life by embracing the- yes I freaking matter mantra!. 

Simply put, she believes the system is broken. This "system" doesn't only pertain to doctors and can be applied to lots of people and professions. She discusses how if we are not proactive, it will break us. Many people still don't fully grasp that a big part of the system still runs on the outdated design for men with a full-time wife at home.  She believes female doctors and doctors of color face microaggressions from patients and colleagues in addition to having very little control over their jobs and how they wish to provide care for their patients, including workload, hours and other critical measures of workplace satisfaction.  She is determined to share there is hope- you can heal your grief and burnout and come back even stronger.

To get her awesome workbook, access ways to receive her work with her, check out her encouraging podcasts,  or sign up for her stellar Burnout to Badass course go to: https://www.doctormefirst.com

IG: https://www.instagram.com/errinweisman/      FB: https://www.facebook.com/errinweisman   Podcast/Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/26OtaRna1hqGCQl2gssWdj?si=PC0xf9KaThix_-cvcOwIHg 

Diving into a quick educational guide on practicing mindfulness with our technology and devices. It’s normal to keep ourselves distracted to avoid thinking and feeling uncomfortable things, especially related to grief. However, this only causes more damage down the road and prevents us from connecting with the here and now, others, and ourselves. The direct link below gets you to the awesome ‘How to Manage Tech Use & Find Balance with Mindfulness’ Guide shared today! https://technologyformindfulness.com/mindfulness-exercises/ Great free apps: https://www.mindful.org/free-mindfulness-apps-worthy-of-your-attention/ "Mindfulness exercises can help you manage the effects of daily tech use on your mental well-being and allow you to find balance in daily life, easing stress, developing self-compassion, and providing perspective."    Mindful meditation for beginners:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZtW92lKLzTQ  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Xdwr4cRTVA. Tips- turn off notifications, unsubscribe if you continue not opening them, use the technology to put limits to your screen or app usage, and set that alarm to summon you smoothly for a pomodoro break. What Matters Most? Evansville believes in the power mindfulness plays in our ability to process, cope with, support others, and grow through grief. Click here  https://instabio.cc/lantzdreams  to support and learn more about our organization striving to be a catalyst to create community-wide mindfulness of grief in your community:  facebook, Patreon, Gofundme, Project and podcast links Share Your Grief Story Project- Friendly reminder we plan to continue this project forever, however don't delay your growth through grief potential. We know there are many stories that go unshared for many reasons, yet we also know grief needs to be witnessed in order to heal wholly. That's why we've created this opportunity for you to mail in your grief story anonymously. By doing so it gives WMM?E permission to share its entirety/parts on social media, this podcast and for possible research purposes.  Mail in to: WMM?E, PO Box 112, Elberfeld, IN 47613

Zac Parsons is part entrepreneur, teacher and "Chaos Pilot" all rolled into one beautiful flow of energy making ripples in the water as helps navigate change and articulate meaning. His training and experience includes a Masters in organizational psychology, teaching as a college professor, involvement with numerous groups and trainings, and lead organizer of TedXEvansville.  He recently started a new job he plans staying at- United Way of Southwestern Indiana and is their 2025 Talent project manager.   

Without trying, today he brings his well known positive energy and fresh perspectives. He reflects upon awareness of the importance of avoiding "death bed regrets" and the importance of using our talents, gifts and resources wisely.  He loves being a dad and helping run his coffee shop.   He thrives by not only fanning other's flames, but also challenging one to optimize and recognize their own strengths, even during challenging times and grief-  individuals, organizations and the community! 

Check out and support his 3 coffee shop locations in Evansville, IN, otherwise known as Honey Moon Coffee Company: https://www.honeymooncoffee.co/

TEDxEvansville:  https://tedxevansville.com/

United Way of Southwestern Indiana: https://unitedwayswi.org/

To support and learn more about What Matters Most? Evansville, Inc: https://www.patreon.com/wmmevv 

Barbara Stahura shares going from the corporate world to becoming a published author and freelance writer. However, her writing and work took on a new role after her husband suffered from a traumatic brain injury. Barbara recalls the roller coaster of grief and emotions and shines a light on how journaling not only kept her sane, during this challenging time, but also how she wrote a book and helped others by becoming a certified journal facilitator. She has guided countless people with brain injuries and family caregivers in harnessing the power of journaling for healing and well-being, and also created numerous other programs for various audiences across the country. 

She recommends a great place for beginners to start is: Kathleen Adams's book, Journal to The Self;  https://www.amazon.com/Journal-Self-Twenty-Two-Personal-Self-Understanding/dp/0446390380

Barbara's book, After Brain Injury: Telling Your Story, the first journaling book for people with brain injuries is available at: lapublishing.com 

Now that she is retired her website is coming down, however I had to capture just a portion of one of her articles:  8/2018: BE THAT BUTTERFLY: We all know the story of a caterpillar becoming a butterfly. But do you know what actually happens to the caterpillar inside the chrysalis? If you were to cut open a cocoon or chrysalis at just the right time, caterpillar soup would ooze out.” Ick, right? Maybe so, but housed within the body of the dissolving caterpillar are certain dormant cells called imaginal discs. They contain all the caterpillar’s potential for future growth, and they become active during this transition period, using the goop to fuel the process that creates the wings, antennae, and all other parts of the butterfly. Eventually, an entirely new, beautiful creature emerges. It’s no surprise that the metaphor of caterpillar-into-butterfly is so often used to represent transition, with its three stages of letting go of the Old Way, the In-Between, and the New Way. Look closely at any life transition you have successfully navigated, and you will see yourself in this metaphor, although, I hope, not so goopily. When your Old Way ends, you have to go through the In-Between to truly and fully arrive at your New Way. While the In-Between is usually the most confusing, messy, or even painful, stage, it’s also the time that holds the most opportunity for creativity, imagination, and vision—if you allow it. I love that those transformative cells in the caterpillar are called “imaginal.” The definition of that word is “of or relating to imagination, images, or imagery.” And what better time to use your imagination to create your New Way than when your Old Way is dissolving? That’s the cool part of this process. While you’re navigating the In-Between, you can “try on” various ideas of what you want your New Way to be. If you’ll forgive a switch in metaphors, it’s like trying on a bunch of clothes in a dressing room, peering at yourself in the three-way mirrors, turning this way and that, and deciding which one fits and looks best. You don’t have to buy any you don’t like, and you can keep searching until you find the perfect one. 

WMM?E co-founder, Andrea, was moved and motivated when meeting Kimberly C Paul last year! She now has the pleasure of sharing KCP's story of going from the set of Saturday Night Live and CBS daytime to telling a very different kind of story.  She encourages the country to come together regardless of who we voted for and to start conversations of how we can reclaim our death. 

During this episode, she shares a glimpse of what ignited her writing her book- Bridging the Gap, Life Lessons of the Dying as well as driving across the country to almost 50 states in her RV decked out with stickers and advertisement alongside her German Shepard, Haven with the goal of marching in Washington, DC to advocate for needed Medicare/Hospice reform as part of her "Live Well to Die Well Tour".  She has a well- known TedTalk now taking global steps working with Partner Plus Media providing free educational resources to communities free of charge to hospice agencies- she wants us to stop blaming others, but rather work together and start earlier conversations. 

Learn more about her work, subscribing to her podcast series, blog, events and buying her book at: https://www.deathbydesign.com/ 

Also, be sure to check out https://www.partnerplusmedia.com/ for more information on how to connect with a company who specializes in the supply of innovative, no-cost marketing solutions.

One of her sponsors is the Death Deck card game we have used for our WMM?E's facebook group weekly questions. You can order your own deck at: https://thedeathdeck.com/ 

 

Our first RIVER'S FOG podcast ever and we couldn't be more excited to interview Dr BJ Miller! He is a nationally recognized speaker and author of “A Beginner’s Guide to the End.” He has recently started Mettle Health- focused on supporting a person’s ability to cope well with difficulties or to face a demanding situation in a spirited and resilient way.  -To learn more about his new company: https://www.mettlehealth.com/   -Be sure to check out his famous TedTalk: https://www.ted.com/talks/bj_miller_what_really_matters_at_the_end_of_life?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare -Get his book: A Beginner's Guide to the End: Practical Advice for Living Life and Facing Death. Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1501157213/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_568JFbBE1EK0P Subscribe to our podcast, River's Fog- we plan to drop new episodes every Wednesday.  This podcast is brought to you by What Matters Most? Evansville, Inc.  Like us on facebook at: https://www.facebook.com/WMMEVV  or email us at: WhatMattersMostEvv@gmail.com 

Dr BJ Miller is a nationally recognized speaker and author of “A Beginner’s Guide to the End.” He has recently started Mettle Health- focused on supporting a person’s ability to cope well with difficulties or to face a demanding situation in a spirited and resilient way. To learn more about his new company: https://www.mettlehealth.com/  or to listen to his famous TedTalk: https://www.ted.com/talks/bj_miller_what_really_matters_at_the_end_of_life?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare

Subscribe to River's Fog to hear our full interview with him next Wednesday, 10/21/20, and other great guests and conversations in weeks to come. 

River's Fog, brought to you by What Matters Most? Evansville, Inc.  WhatMattersMostEvv@gmail.com and like us on facebook @ WMMEVV