Your Real, Your Ideal
By Sandy Lane and Amy Tokos
Your Real, Your IdealMay 16, 2024
Looking Forward
We are wrapping up season 5 by looking forward before we take our summer break. When we look forward to something, it builds anticipation and gives us hope. At this moment, Sandy and Amy are looking forward to summer and all the things that come along with it. There’s a little planning and a bit of flexibility needed to enjoy the season. Bring it on!
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Medical Advocacy
We do not have to accept discomforts and lower energy just because we’re aging. Sandy and Amy share their experiences and why it’s important to be your own advocate when it comes to your health.
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #health #menopause #women
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The Adult Gap Year
The kids are all doing it, how about us? Taking an adult gap year or sabbatical can give you an opportunity to pause and rethink your path forward. It might take a little planning but the consensus is that it is worth it.
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL
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Microaggressions
What is a microaggression you ask? This episode we dig into that and share some examples. We hope to create an awareness to help all of us to do better. Knowing impact is more important than our intention.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nQ9l7y4UuxY
https://www.aihr.com/blog/microaffirmation/
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Privilege and Privacy
Is privacy a privilege? Are we entitled to share things about other people? Sandy and Amy discuss privacy, secrets, and what is driving our need for privacy. Plus respecting other people's desires to be private or not.
Books mentioned:
The Yellow House by Sarah M. Bloom
Apples Never Fall by Liane Moriarty
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #privacy
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Words Matter
Words matter and stir emotion. Sometimes it’s the word and sometimes it’s the intention. This episode we discuss the words that are stirring our emotions plus the times we’ve had to bit our tongue.
Here is the news story about our family photos.
https://www.wfmynews2.com/video/news/local/83-f605cd0c-9f74-4550-8b59-0824646d1d24
Other great articles:
https://buildingbrainconnections.com/positive-words-challenging-behaviour/
https://genwomen.global/how-to-turn-negative-language-into-positive-with-ease/
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL
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https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/03/books/american-fiction-book-erasure-percival-everett.html
Oscars Recap
Movies can be an escape from reality and sometimes they are reality. Sandy and Amy have been watching the Oscar nominees. They’ve been entertained and even had some perspective shifts. It’s a fun conversation but be warned, there are some spoilers.
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL
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Firsts in Our Fifties
You can try new things at any age. Sandy and Amy explore what they’ve tried since they turned 50 and why they hadn't done it before. Interesting thing is that their lists are completely different.
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #50andfabulous #firsts
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Energy Vampires
Oh yes, you know who and what your energy vampires are. Sandy and Amy share some of the people and things that drain their energy. Plus the strategies which range from candy to conversations that can help.
https://www.verywellmind.com/energy-vampires-characteristics-types-and-coping-strategies-7373913
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Food Insecurity with Kristi Reimers
We have Kristi Reimers as a guest for this episode. She is sharing her insights and knowledge about food insecurity which is more recently known as nutrition insecurity. The gap between food and access can be pretty big for some people. The good news is that there are some things we can do to help.
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #guest #foodinsecurity #nutrition
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Midlife Celebration
If you’ve hit midlife, does it feel like a crisis or are you able to celebrate this phase of life? Sandy and Amy discuss what we can be celebrating as we age.
“Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been.”
David Bowie
https://fortune.com/well/2023/09/10/menopause-parties-gen-x/
https://www.whatshesaidtalk.com/living-agelessly-making-midlife-a-celebration-not-a-crisis/
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL
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Solomon’s Paradox
Are you good at giving advice? Do you also take your own advice? Many of us can give, but sometimes we don’t apply it to ourselves - that is Solomon’s Paradox. Sandy and Amy talk about giving advice, our advice experiences, and when we don’t take our own advice.
https://www.fastcompany.com/90451784/3-reasons-why-people-dont-take-your-advice
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Work Life Imbalance
“Work/life balance” is more about the action of balancing and having good boundaries. This episode Sandy and Amy share their times of struggles with balance and how they made it through.
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Things That Keep Us Up at Night
We all want a good night’s sleep, but sometimes there are things…you know, all the things (projects, problems, etc.) that keep us awake. Sandy and Amy share the literal and the philosophical things that are keeping them awake.
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#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #sleep
What are you afraid of?
What are you afraid of? We all have the things that scare us. Fear is one of the things that limits women in their professional and personal pursuits. Is fear holding you back? Sandy and Amy discuss common fears, when it’s affected them and how they overcame or avoided the discomfort.
https://womenignitingchange.com/13-fears-that-keep-women-from-being-remarkable/
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Perspective Shift
We are kicking off the new year with new views and new perspectives. Sandy and Amy share how a perspective shift can make doing big things a little easier. Not sweating the small stuff and not creating drama is key for us.
Plus we talk a little about Blue Monday. Read about it here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_Monday_(date)
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #newyear
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Humble: To be or not to be
We often hear that we need to be humble. Sandy and Amy talk through the pros and cons of humility plus the perceptions of people who are humble versus arrogant. There is definitely an art to being humble.
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Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion
This episode we have a guest, Bev Young from HCA Healthcare. She is sharing all about DEI in healthcare and the efforts to make it more accessible. It’s interesting and inspiring. When you listen, you will hear Bev’s passion which we love! Enjoy the podcast.
https://www.sandyalane.com/writing/wonder-twins
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #speacialguest #DEI
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Aging Gracefully
How do you feel about aging? Sandy and Amy discuss how the definition of aging gracefully has changed as we have aged. We are measuring it differently than we did 20 years ago. We also share some strategies that will make aging easier. Added bonus: In the conversation, we find out how Sandy got banned from tiktok. It’s a good story.
https://ideas.ted.com/aging-is-inevitable-so-why-not-do-it-joyfully-heres-how/
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A Traditional Life
Tis the season for family traditions. You know the ones we love and the others that feel like a burden. This episode Sandy and Amy share some of their family traditions, how they evolved, which ones stuck and which ones did not. It’s a perfect conversation for the season.
https://www.webmd.com/balance/why-family-traditions-matter
https://community.today.com/parentingteam/post/creating-family-traditions-is-a-bad-idea
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL#holidays #traditions
SAL article link: https://medium.com/age-of-empathy/why-non-traditional-thanksgivings-can-be-the-best-thanksgivings-18ab7ad5367
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AI & Cybersecurity: Safety First
AI is here. There are some good ways to use it and our guest, Heather Noggle shares some cautions. She also gives us some great advice on how we can protect ourselves, #1 multi factor authentication. Helping us find a balance between fear and vigilance when it comes to cybersecurity.
https://codistac.com/
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Out of the Barbie box
What just happened? Sometimes that is how we feel when we see someone stepping out of the box and being their authentic and real selves. This episode we are celebrating that courageous authenticity which can challenge our beliefs and who we think we are. It can feel good and also a bit uncomfortable.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/friendships/art-20044860
SAL Barbie Story: https://www.sandyalane.com/writing/my-barbie-world
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #Barbie
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Unbanned Books
They’re talking about books, both banned and unbanned. Sandy and Amy are big readers. They share their latest reading, a podcast on books, and discuss the banned book lists. It’s a good conversation.
https://www.wgbh.org/news/local/2020-01-06/inside-the-e-book-war-waging-between-libraries-and-publishers
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #books
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What Would You Do with a Million Dollars?
If we had a million dollars and didn’t need to save it - what would you spend it on? We asked this question to our listeners. We learned the answer, many times, reflects our values. It’s an interesting thing to ponder.
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL#money #milliondollars
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Armchair Quarterback
Sometimes our confidence on a topic is greater than our competence. This episode Sandy and Amy share when we’ve been armchair quarterbacks.This conversation takes us down the road of growth mindset, and the “Think Again” book by Adam Grant. The more we know, the more we realize how much we don’t know.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CbqqIYTHuwM
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/scientific-mindset-adam-grant-albert-einstein-dental-webster
SAL Blog story link: https://www.sandyalane.com/writing/football-101
Choosing Change
When we put ourselves out there to do something new or different, it can be scary. This episode, Sandy and Amy talk about change, benefits of change and how we’ve embraced it…or not.
https://www.amazon.com/Strength-Finding-Success-Happiness-Purpose/dp/059319148X
https://www.lifehack.org/902478/try-new-things
https://www.simplilearn.com/7-r-of-change-management-article
https://businessproductivity.com/how-to-effectively-manage-personal-change/
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Are you the Same Person you Used to be?
We can all agree that people evolve and change. Yet, we also recognize that people are very much the same as they have always been. This episode, Sandy and Amy discuss how we change, how we might want to change and what will really never change.
https://www.livescience.com/personality-age-change.html
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Playing With A.I.
A.I. is here and this week we share how we’ve been playing with it. What we’re seeing, what we’re hearing, possible opportunities plus some cautions. It’s interesting and will be a game changer. How do you plan to harness the power of A.I.?
https://www.cnn.com/2023/09/20/europe/spain-deepfake-images-investigation-scli-intl/index.html
https://www.sas.com/en_us/insights/analytics/what-is-artificial-intelligence.html
https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/madison-square-garden-face-scan-1234650989/
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We’re back!
We’re back! In this episode, we’re doing our catch up from the summer and kicking off season 5. Sandy and Amy both spent time with important people this summer while they did some stuff and learned some stuff.
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #keynotespeakers #worklifebalance
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Transitioning to summer
Sandy and Amy are signing off for the summer. In this episode they discuss the things that are just different for summer and how we all have to adjust. Summer goes fast and with intentionality we can make the most of it.
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#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #summer #intentionality #transitions #summerbreak
Will They Remember Your Name?
People remember the value you bring when you are your authentic self. In this podcast, Sandy and Amy dig into values and how incorporating them into your day can help bring happiness.
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What’s the Process?
Inspiration helps us move forward to a better place or mindset. But moving forward typically requires taking the first step and then the second. It needs a process. In this podcast, Sandy and Amy share inspirations and how they discovered the need for the process.
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Multitasking Makes You Stupid
This episode Sandy and Amy discuss multitasking, why it’s impossible and some of the other things that distract us. Amy also shares a quick test you can do to see if you’re an efficient multi-tasker.
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Mean Girls
What most people refer to as "mean girl behavior" is really relational aggression. Sandy and Amy discuss this type of bullying, recognize that it’s not just the girls and share strategies to protect yourself.
https://www.verywellfamily.com/how-to-confront-adult-mean-girls-460676
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Playing Defense
When should we play defense? Is it ever necessary? We all have moments when we react defensively. Sandy and Amy share some situations that triggered them and brainstorm better responses. Always keeping it real.
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #feedback #defensiveness
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Oh, the People We Meet
Meeting new people can be fun. Sometimes we make a good connection, sometimes we think maybe not and then there’s the times we get ghosted. In this podcast, Sandy and Amy share their networking stories, some good and some not so good.
https://www.scienceofpeople.com/networking/
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Can You Teach Confidence?
Can someone teach you confidence? If we are lifting each other up and empowering others, are we teaching them to be confident? Sandy and Amy discuss just that this week. We start with one thought…you’ll have to listen in to see where we end up.
https://blog.ted.com/10-examples-of-how-power-posing-can-work-to-boost-your-confidence/
https://www.forbes.com/sites/francesbridges/2017/07/21/10-ways-to-build-confidence/?sh=1dfb926a3c59
https://www.inc.com/minda-zetlin/13-easy-ways-to-boost-your-confidence.html
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People Who Make Us Uncomfortable
When you look around, are most of the people around you like you? There are many benefits to surrounding ourselves with people who have different faiths, different pronouns, different ethnicity...you know, diversity. This podcast Sandy and Amy discuss times when we’ve felt uncomfortable with diversity in our own surroundings. We share how we handle it and how we learn.
https://www.npr.org/2020/06/06/870910728/your-bookshelf-may-be-part-of-the-problem
https://hopeandsafety.org/learn-more/violent-language/
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Great Expectations
Too often we live in a tight box of expectations that we have created and rarely does life give you that exact path. The things that exceed our expectations are the things that make our highlight reel. Knowing that expectations are unavoidable, in this episode Sandy and Amy discuss how we keep our expectations, good and bad, in check. A few hints…adaptability and flexibility are key.
Lesson learned from our travels: It is better to be adaptable than expectant.
https://www.vibrantmentalhealth.com/aricles/71978-how-to-balance-your-expectations
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/aspirations-vs-expectations-sangita-sarkar
https://www.psychreg.org/expectation-aspiration/
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #travel #expectations #aspirations #adaptability
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Where Have You Been?
Sandy and Amy have been doing some traveling. In this episode, we share why we like to travel, how keeping it simple gives us the same joy as the elaborate vacations plus some favorites. Many times, we realized, it’s the people we’re with not the location that makes the magic.
https://www.nbcnews.com/better/lifestyle/why-it-s-so-hard-come-back-vacation-how-do-ncna1115341
https://drifttravel.com/7-benefits-of-traveling/
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Gossip Girls
You want to hear a juicy story? If you said yes, you might want to listen to this podcast. If you said no, you might also want to listen. Sandy and Amy are talking about gossip. The good, the bad and the ugly.
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A Drama-Free Life: Myth or Reality?
Is drama in your life because of your circumstances or because of your choices. Sandy and Amy dig into this topic in this episode. What we determine is that drama gets a bad rap. Sometimes it’s bad, but there can also be a good side to it.
https://www.donolund.com/good-drama
https://kevineikenberry.com/communication-interpersonal-skills/10-tactics-to-manage-workplace-drama/
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It’s Easy to Say I’m Sorry
When we know we’ve messed up our knee jerk reaction is to apologize with hopes of forgiveness. That’s the easy way out. Sandy and Amy discuss the steps that need to happen before the apology and understanding that forgiveness may never happen and that’s ok.
Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg: On Repentance and Repair: Making Amends in an Unapologetic World.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/heart-and-soul-healing/201301/9-steps-forgiveness
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #powerofvalue #forgiveness
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The Messy Middle
We all see the before and after. What is in the middle is usually pretty messy. Sandy and Amy share a few stories about overcoming adversity, perseverance and how to get through that messy middle.
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #time #yourrealyourideal #lifechanges #messymiddle
https://fourminutebooks.com/the-messy-middle-summary/
https://www.amazon.com/If-You-Tell-Unbreakable-Sisterhood-ebook/dp/B07Q5TL9SQ
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What’s Your Plan B?
Do you have a plan B? Some of us always have a back up plan which can be good. There is a flip side where a Plan B can sabotage your Plan A. This podcast Sandy and Amy share stories about when Plan B’s were good and when they held us back.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/lifetime-connections/201607/does-having-plan-b-sabotage-your-plan
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The Measure
In the book “The Measure”, this one morning everyone over the age of 22 receives a box with a string that tells you the length of your life. Sandy and Amy discuss this idea. Would you open the box? If you did, what would you do with the information?
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #time #yourrealyourideal #lifechanges #themeasureoflife
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I Wish You Enough
All we need for true happiness is enough. Enough sun to keep your attitude bright, enough rain to appreciate the sun more and so on as the poem goes. Sandy and Amy explore this concept of enough and what makes us feel like we need more.
"I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright.
I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun more.
I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive.
I wish you enough pain so that the smallest joys in life appear much bigger.
I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye."
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #time #yourrealyourideal #lifechanges
https://nosidebar.com/when-do-we-have-enough/
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What We Take for Granted
We all take things for granted. Sandy and Amy share how they’ve taken things for granted in the past. They also discuss how to find the balance between optimism that all will be good and the reality that things might go away and be missed. Sometimes it’s hard to know we appreciate something til it’s gone.
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #time #yourrealyourideal #lifechanges #gratitude #appreciation
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You Can't Do That! Career Changes in Your 50s
At any age,we have choices. Sometimes when we hit a certain age, we feel it’s easier to settle in and ride it out. In this episode, Sandy and Amy share their career changes, some of the feedback and some of the support they got plus some insights on making a change.
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #time #yourrealyourideal
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Our Favorites Episode
This is a fun episode. It’s the holiday time, so Sandy and Amy are sharing some of their favorite things. We’re not Oprah but we still share gift items and self care favorites. We both walked away with some good gift ideas.
#podcast #habits #consultants #productivity #values #happinessfactor #REAL #time #yourrealyourideal #holidays #hometown
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