the virgin & the bees
By Zareena Evelina
Join your host Zareena and guest friends as we share stories, personal insights, and even some research findings and statistics here and there as we tackle a variety of topics related to sex, sexuality, self-love, dating and relationships.
Instagram: @thevirginandthebeespodcast
the virgin & the beesOct 21, 2021
Should You Stay or Should You Go?
What are some common dating dealbreakers? Signs of a toxic and/or abusive relationship? How do you know whether to commit to a relationship or let go of it?
These are some core questions this episode revolves around and my ~attempt~ to answer them with help from some of the sources listed below :)
**Domestic Violence Hotline/Resources: www.thehotline.org**
Dealbreakers research study: https://phys.org/news/2022-03-partners-relationship-dealbreakers.html
When Is It Time to Leave a Relationship? (blog post by a LCSW): https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/staying-sane-inside-insanity/202205/when-is-it-time-leave-relationship
Toxic/Abusive Relationships
https://www.berkeleywellbeing.com/toxic-relationships.html
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/addiction-and-recovery/202103/what-is-toxic-relationship
https://www.healthline.com/health/toxic-relationship
https://www.verywellmind.com/toxic-relationships-4174665
https://au.reachout.com/articles/signs-of-an-abusive-relationship
What Makes a Healthy Relationship?
It's a big question! To get started, I polled listeners via the pod's Instagram asking what they think is key to healthy relationships. I share their answers in this episode, as well as discuss a healthy relationship model from world-renowned psychologists and researchers, the Gottmans.
Check us out on IG :) @thevirginandthebeespodcast
RESOURCES:
The Gottman Institute & The Sound House Relationship Model: https://www.gottman.com/about/the-gottman-method/
Sharing Fondness & Admiration: https://www.gottman.com/blog/share-fondness-and-admiration/
Turning Towards Bids: https://www.gottman.com/blog/turn-toward-instead-of-away/
Managing Conflict: https://www.gottman.com/blog/managing-vs-resolving-conflict-relationships-blueprints-success/
Positive Perspective: https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-sound-relationship-house-the-positive-perspective/
Shared Meaning: https://www.gottman.com/blog/shared-meaning-is-key-to-a-successful-relationship/
Looks Aren't Everything... Right?
Hello lovely bees! This month's episode is about ~being perceived~ and how social media and the pandemic have impacted the way we view our bodies.
Thanks for tuning in and keep on buzzing!
500 Days of Summer (Part 2): A Realistic Look at Love & Heartbreak
We're back with Part 2 of our revisit of (500) Days of Summer.
This time, guest Sophia and I discuss:
- how (and even if) the characters grow throughout the film
- our thoughts on the film's take on love & rom-coms
- the manic pixie dream girl
- does Tom actually love Summer?
- the villainization of people who want casual relationships
- the bench scene
- the ending
☀️☀️☀️
You can watch a video version of this podcast on YouTube.
Sophia's YouTube: youtu.be/Hk9l7ta2hgY
Sophia's plant IG & TikTok: @sophiasgreengarden
We're on the 'gram too! @thevirginandthebeespodcast.
Thanks for listening! Keep on buzzing 🐝
500 Days of Summer (Part 1): Relationships, Rejection, and the "Nice Guy" Trope
My childhood bestie Sophia and I revisit the thought-provoking movie (500) Days of Summer and discuss....
- the roadblocks in Summer & Tom's relationship
- the problem with the "nice guy" trope & how toxic masculinity presents in Tom
- situations in which we reminded ourselves of Tom
- situations in which we felt like Summer
- rejection (and some of our experiences with it, on both sides)
- the best character of the whole film... Tom's little sister!
☀️☀️☀️
You can watch a video version of this podcast on YouTube (channel name: Zareena Evelina).
Sophia's YouTube: youtu.be/Hk9l7ta2hgY
Sophia's plant IG & TikTok: @sophiasgreengarden
We're on the 'gram too! @thevirginandthebeespodcast.
Thanks for listening! Keep on buzzing 🐝
Roe v Wade Overturned — What You Can Do
LINKS/RESOURCES
More info on the effects of overturning Roe v Wade
Resources for those seeking abortion
Donation Funds & Action Item Resources
More info on reasons for the impeachment of Clarence Thomas & more on the political history of Clarence and Ginni Thomas
The Valentine's Day Episode
HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! ❤️
Join us for a fun lil chat as guest Darcy and I reflect on Valentine's Day and share ideas of what to do if you're single, mindful reminders if you're in a relationship, and some of our previous Valentine's Day experiences.
Find the podcast on IG: @thevirginandthebeespodcast
RELATED EPISODES ❤️
Figuring Out Your Sexuality for Yourself (with the same guest: Darcy)
A Look Into Hookup Culture (featuring multiple guests including Darcy)
Navigating Online Dating (with guest Chelsea)
People Pleasing in Dating, Sex and Relationships (with guest Carly)
The New Year Episode
2022 is just around the corner! So I thought I'd share some rituals for transitioning from the old year to the new
Let me know what your word is for 2022 — or if you have any rituals of your own! DM or comment on IG (@thevirginandthebeespodcast) or email heyzareena@gmail.com
Happy New Year and keep on buzzing 🐝
Getting Over Someone (an ex or a crush you never dated)
Moving on is messy. Whether you've broken up with a longtime partner you co-owned a cat with or you're trying to get over someone you never even dated — both are painful and difficult in their own way — and we're here to talk about it and share what we've learned along the way. Thank you to Olivia for joining us today, and thank YOU for tuning in :) Keep on buzzing!
Find the podcast on IG ❤️ @thevirginandthebeespodcast
GETTING OVER SOMEONE PLAYLIST: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4nblICaAYnje5nW2XCbaJL?si=0c9cc67fe64948ba
podcast tunes 🎶
I made a playlist curated with songs that fit the vibe of the podcast!
Available on Spotify here
Does Being Bisexual Impact Your Body Image and the Way You See Yourself?
In what ways can your body image shift when being intimate with different genders? What does it mean to "dress queer"? What are some pros and cons of labeling your sexual orientation? How can you respond to the question "who is the spoon and who is the fork?" when asked about a same-sex relationship? Tune in for a conversation exploring the intricate nature of these topics, as guest Bella and I dive into how our bisexuality has impacted our self perception and expression.
Thank you to Bella for joining us on today's episode! You can find Bella on Instagram @bellafunt and Twitter @highkeybellac.
We're on IG too! @thevirginandthebeespodcast
📚 SOURCES 📚 Journal of BisexualityStudy discussedThe ‘Double Closet’: Why Some Bisexual People Struggle With Mental Health (NY Times article)
🎙️ RELATED CONTENT 🎙️ "Bisexual Struggles (and the complexities of labeling yourself)" with Lauren Van
"Figuring Out Your Sexuality For Yourself" with Darcy Bate
Thanks for listening! Keep on buzzing 🐝
P.S. Sorry the audio quality is subpar on my end…. my podcasting microphone broke shortly before recording this episode and I was waiting for a new one to ship under its covered warranty!
Hookup Culture: The Good, The Bad, and Lessons Learned
What are people's honest thoughts about hookups? I separately interviewed six guests to find out! Listen in to hear about their experiences and lessons learned in navigating hookup culture.
🌻QUESTIONS
Q1: What has your experience been like navigating hookup culture? (2:37)
Q2: What have you learned about yourself? (13:33)
Q3: What advice do you have for others? (28:24)
Bonus Question: How has the pandemic affected dating for you and how have you handled it? (38:09)
🌸GUESTS (in order of appearance)
- Lauren (IG & YouTube: @laurenvan_ | TikTok: @caliherdaddy)
- Austen
- Darcy (IG: @d__rcyb8)
- Dominika (Soundcloud: https://soundcloud.app.goo.gl/LMTtjTL35TTbL3Vk9)
- Michael (IG: @mikethesouthpole)
- Carly (IG: @carlytaco & @hottieswithapoddy)
*Check out Carly's podcast "Hotties With A Poddy"
🐝You can watch a video version of this podcast on YouTube (channel name: Zareena Evelina). We're also on IG & Pinterest @thevirginandthebeespodcast
Thanks for listening!
Can We Maybe Talk About People Pleasing If That's Alright With You?
How does people pleasing affect dating, sex and relationships? How can you assert your boundaries in a way that’s comfortable for you? How can you find a healthy balance if you’re a people pleaser?
In the pod's 9th episode, sexpert (former UCSC SHOP educator) and Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, Carly Shaul, joins in again to continue our conversation from our previous episode "The Virginity Myth". In that episode, we discussed the complicated social construct of “virginity” and Carly shared how she coped with negative sexual experiences, which were intricately tied to people pleasing. This time, we talk about how people pleasing affects dating, sex and intimate relationships (and Carly shares her tips on how she navigates this!).
You can watch a video version of this podcast on YouTube (channel name: Zareena Evelina). Carly is on Instagram @carlytaco and is launching two podcasts of her own: With A Little Help From My Friends (IG: @withalittlehelpfmf) and Hotties With a Poddy (IG:@hottieswithapoddy).
You can find this podcast on Instagram too: @thevirginandthebeespodcast.
Thanks for listening (and thank you to Carly for joining us today)!
The Virginity Myth
Society places so much pressure on young people when it comes to "losing their v card" — but how much of this is helpful versus harmful? What even is virginity? Do we place too much importance on it? Do we have unrealistic expectations? What if your first time isn't a good time?
In this episode, I chat with sexpert (former UCSC SHOP educator) and Associate Marriage and Family Therapist, Carly Shaul, about how we define virginity and the impacts of purity culture. Carly also shares her "first time" experiences — reflecting on the intricate, complicated nature of teenage sex and how she coped with negative sexual experiences.
You can watch a video version of this podcast on YouTube (channel name: Zareena Evelina) and find resources mentioned in the video description.
Carly is on Instagram @carlytaco and is launching two podcasts of her own: With A Little Help From My Friends (IG: @withalittlehelpfmf) and Hotties With a Poddy (IG:@hottieswithapoddy).
You can find this podcast on Instagram too: @thevirginandthebeespodcast.
Thank you to Carly for joining us today, and thank YOU for listening! Keep on buzzing 🐝
Bisexual Struggles (and the complexities of labeling yourself)
In today's episode, I'm joined by fellow bisexual Lauren Van for a discussion on the complexities of labeling yourself and your sexual orientation, as well as some of the experiences and issues we've faced as bisexuals — including external & internalized biphobia, changing ratios, common misconceptions and more!
You can watch a video version of this podcast on YouTube (channel name: Zareena Evelina) and find studies/surveys mentioned in the video description.
Thank you Lauren for joining us today! You can find her on Instagram (@laurenvan_), TikTok (@caliherdaddy) and YouTube (@laurenvan_).
RELATED EPISODES
Being A Late Bloomer: What You Should Know Before Having Sex (with same guest Lauren Van)
Figuring Out Your Sexuality For Yourself (with guest Darcy)
Does being ~bisexual~ impact your body image and the way you see yourself? (with guest Bella)
Mindful Masturbation Part 2
How can you bring mindful masturbation into your partnered sex life? What are some ways you can explore virtual intimacy if you can't physically be with your partner? What are some tips for mindfully consuming porn and making sure it plays a healthy role in your life?
We're back with PART 2 of "Mindful Masturbation" with Corinne Guichard, yoga instructor and sexpert (former editor-in-chief of UC Santa Barbara's SexInfoOnline), as we tackle the more external factors of mindful masturbation... porn and your partnered sex life.
You can watch a video version of this podcast on YouTube (channel name: Zareena Evelina) and find studies/surveys mentioned in the video description.
Corinne is on Instagram at @unrefined_co. If you're interested in joining online yoga classes, you can dm her there or email her at cguichard19@gmail.com. You can find the podcast on Instagram @thevirginandthebeespodcast and host Zareena at @zareenaevelina.
Thank you Corinne for joining us today, and thank YOU for listening!
Mindful Masturbation Part 1
Stronger orgasms, learning more about yourself, and developing a stronger sense of connectedness to your body, sexuality and spirit — these are just a few benefits of mindful masturbation! But how can you begin to incorporate mindfulness and yoga principles into your masturbation practices? What does that look like? Corinne Guichard, yoga instructor and sexpert (former editor-in-chief of UC Santa Barbara's SexInfoOnline), joins today's episode as we explore these questions!
PART 2 focuses on the more external factors of mindful masturbation... porn and your partnered sex life. You can listen here or find after this episode wherever you are listening!
You can watch a video version of this podcast on YouTube (channel name: Zareena Evelina) and find resources mentioned in the video description.
Corinne is on Instagram at @unrefined_co. If you're interested in joining online yoga classes, you can dm her there or email her at cguichard19@gmail.com. You can find the podcast on Instagram @thevirginandthebeespodcast and Zareena at @zareenaevelina.
Thank you Corinne for joining us today, and thank YOU for tuning in!
Tips for Navigating Dating Apps
How does dating even work during a pandemic? What are some best practices when it comes to dating apps like Tinder, Bumble and Hinge? Why do you sometimes have chemistry over text but not in real life?
Chelsea and I have spent 6+ years on dating apps and Chelsea is now engaged to a partner she met on Hinge. Together we share some of the good (and the bad) we've experienced on dating apps as we go through what makes a good profile, what photos you should use, messaging tips and tricks, how to secure a first date, mindsets going into a first date, mindsets after a first date, and transitioning from the "dating" stage to defining the relationship. We also discuss general attitudes towards online dating, as well as burnout on dating apps.
You can watch a video version of this podcast on YouTube (channel name: Zareena Evelina) and find resources and studies/surveys mentioned in the video description. Thank you to Chelsea for joining us today and thank YOU for listening :) Keep on buzzing!
Instagram: @thevirginandthebeespodcast
Consent in Relationships, Hookups, and Everything In Between
What does healthy consent look like? What is its role in a committed, established relationship? In a hookup? In something in between? How does our society view and interpret consent and how can we move towards better understanding? Sexpert Nick Kludjian, former editor-in-chief of UCSB's SexInfoOnline, joins today's episode as we explore these questions!
DISCLAIMER/TW: We know that consent is closely tied to sexual harassment and rape culture. While we do not go into detail with these topics, we do briefly discuss them throughout as they are closely tied to consent.
You can watch a video version of this podcast on YouTube (channel name: Zareena Evelina) and find a link to the Planned Parenthood study in the video description.
You can find Zareena on Instagram at @zareenaevelina and SexInfoOnline on the web at sexinfoonline.com and on Instagram at @sexinfoonline.
Thank you to Nick Kludjian for joining us today!
Being a Late Bloomer: What You Should Know Before Having Sex
What even is virginity? In this first episode of the virgin & the bees, we cover a lot of topics — from discussing what it's like to be a virgin in college amidst hookup culture (and having sex "late") — to some things you should know before sex like proper condom use, hymen facts, healthy mentalities, the myth that it's supposed to hurt the first time and more!
You can watch a video version of this podcast on YouTube (channel name: Zareena Evelina) and find sources for stats discussed in the video description.
Thank you to Lauren Van for joining us today! You can find our guest Lauren on Instagram (@laurenvan_), TikTok (@caliherdaddy) and YouTube (@laurenvan_) and host Zareena on Instagram (@zareenaevelina) and YouTube!
**updated: here are some later episodes that Lauren has starred in!**
Ep 7: Bisexual Struggles (and the complexities of labeling yourself)
Ep 10: Hookup Culture: The Good, The Bad, and Lessons Learned
trailer: introducing the virgin & the bees
Coming soon! Whether it be tackling the concept of virginity, navigating hookup culture, working on self-love, learning the ins-and-outs of female and male genitalia, chatting about dating and intimacy, discussing LGBTQ+ topics, or picking apart the culture of sl*t-shaming, we're sure to talk about it :)