Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting
By Dr. Lisa Damour/Good Trouble Productions
Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting Jan 05, 2021
50: How Do I Build My Kid’s Confidence and Self-Esteem?
Where do confidence and self-esteem come from? What contributes to kids' highs and lows and how can parents help kids build a sturdy sense of self-esteem? Dr. Lisa describes the age at which self-esteem tends to drop off and the impact of gender. Reena asks how culture and race can affect self-esteem and confidence. Dr. Lisa explains what psychologists mean when they talk about "unconditional positive regard."
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Additional resources:
Ask Lisa is produced by:
49: Should My Teen Socialize With Unvaccinated Friends?
A mom writes in from the deep South with concerns about whether to allow her daughter to socialize with a good friend who is unvaccinated. Dr. Lisa discusses the importance of framing the issue around the child’s safety while allowing the kid to guide the conversation. Reena asks how parents can weigh the mental health risks of not being socially active against the possibility of catching Covid. Dr. Lisa explains how parents can help their children assess these risks. Should the mom reach out to the other family? Dr. Lisa talks about when a parent should make that call.
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Additional resources:
https://www.drlisadamour.com/
Ask Lisa is produced by:
Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com
48: How Often Should I Be in Touch with My College Freshman?
Getting into college is hard work. So how do you raise kids who will thrive once they get there? Dr. Lisa explains how parents can prepare their kids to succeed when they become independent (hint: it's not about academics). When should a parent be concerned about a child who does not communicate with them? Is there such a thing as providing too much long-distance emotional support?
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Additional resources:
https://www.drlisadamour.com/
Ask Lisa is produced by:
Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com
47: Should Teens Be Allowed to Drink at Home?
Dr. Lisa and Reena get a letter from parents who are torn about allowing their underaged child to drink in their home. Dad wants the child to feel comfortable around alcohol, but Mom is not comfortable serving their teenager at home and wonders whether it's even legal to do so. Lisa explains what really matters in preparing your child for encounters with alcohol when parents are not around. She explains the concepts of hot and cold cognition and how they shape teen's choices. Reena asks, "What really works in making teens understand the consequences of drinking?"
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Additional resources:
https://www.drlisadamour.com/
Ask Lisa is produced by:
Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com
46: How Do You Help a Kid Who Shuts You Out?
You’ve heard people say, “I want to get this off my chest,” but what if your kid doesn’t know how to express emotion? How do you get children and teenagers to talk? Dr. Lisa explains the term "emotional regulation," and how parents can help kids manage their feelings effectively. Reena asks, "What if you’re a parent who struggles with managing your own emotions?" Lisa explains how both parents and children can benefit from thinking in terms of learning how to express, and contain, emotions.
Events:
Join Lisa, Dr. Anthony Fauci, New York Times journalists (who are parents themselves) Apoorva Mandavilli, a science reporter, and moderator Andrew Ross Sorkin, Times columnist as they take your questions about kids and Covid on Sept 9th 1pm est.
RSVP below.
https://www.nytimes.com/2021/08/12/science/fauci-kids-and-covid-event.html
Read Lisa’s latest New York Times Column:
How to Support Teenagers as They Head Back to School
Listen to Reena's new daily news podcast "The Recount Daily Pod."
Dr. Lisa joined Reena on her new morning news podcast.... The Recount Daily Pod... to talk about stress and trauma.
You can listen & subscribe to "The Recount Daily Pod":
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-recount-daily-pod/id1574219377?i=1000533968493
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Additional resources:
Ask Lisa is produced by:
45: I Don't Like My Kid's Friends. What Do I Do?
Is it ever too late to help your child rethink a friendship? How do you lay the groundwork to help children choose the right people to be in their lives? Dr. Lisa explains how the friends our kids chose can also give us a window into the people they may date. Even during the teenage years Lisa says there are ways to help foster new friendships. Reena asks when should a parent intervene.
Read Lisa’s latest New York Times Column:
How to Support Teenagers as They Head Back to School
Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan
Additional resources:
Ask Lisa is produced by:
44: Seriously?! How Do I Face Back-to-School 2021?
Dr. Lisa Damour and Reena Ninan kick off Season Two of Ask Lisa by talking about how to cope with another school year under Covid-19. They tackle a letter from a parent seeking advice on how to deal with her own anxiety about kids going back to school as the Delta variant rages. She is exhausted and does not see relief coming any time soon. How do we help our kids feel school-ready when we are running on empty?
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Additional resources:
Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com
43: What Should My Kids Do This Summer?
Should we be pushing children and teens to make up for lost learning this summer? Or should we let them call the shots on how they spend their time? What really matters most? Dr. Lisa has advice that might seem counterintuitive for parents who feel ready to charge ahead. A mom writes in asking for advice on how to think about summer schedules for her three kids. Reena seeks guidance on managing social media and video games once school lets out. Dr. Lisa and Reena talk about what families should focus on when making summer plans. In this final episode of the season, Lisa and Reena also explain how to stay connected with the podcast this summer. Season Two starts August 24th.
Objective Wellness is sponsoring this episode. Our listeners get 15% off their chocolate-y treat Sweet Calm made with 60% dark cacao, the calming ayurvedic herb ashwagandha, and magnesium.
Calm your mind and rediscover your inner peace. Head to wwww.ObjectiveWellness.com
Enter the ASKLISA promo code to get 15% off.
Dr. Lisa’s Summer Resource List
100 Summer Fun Ideas for Kids and Parents
100+ Things for Teens to Do This Summer
Lisa Damour's 6.1.21 New York Times column Why Teens Need a Break This Summer
Email us your questions or topics you would like us to cover to asklisa@drlisadamour.com.
42: How Do I Talk to My Child About Racism? With Special Guest: Emmanuel Acho
Lisa and Reena are joined by guest Emmanuel Acho, former NFL linebacker, current FoxSports analyst, host of the YouTube hit "Uncomfortable Conversations With a Black Man," and author of a book by the same name. Most recently, Emmanuel wrote the instant #1 New York Times Bestseller "Uncomfortable Conversations With a Black Boy." In a discussion both wide-ranging and deep, Emmanuel tackles how to talk with our kids about the n-word, what we can do to address systemic racism and prejudice, and what it really means for parents and their children to act as allies.
BOOK GIVEAWAY:
Enter to win one of two copies of Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Boy By Emmanuel Acho from the @asklisapodcast.
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3. Enter as many times as you'd like
4. For U.S. residents only
(Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 6/7/21. Winners will be chosen at random and books will be mailed to the winners.)
Parent Promotion
Objective Wellness is sponsoring this episode. Our listeners get 15% off their chocolate-y treat Sweet Calm made with 60% dark cacao, the calming ayurvedic herb ashwagandha, and magnesium. Calm your mind and rediscover your inner peace. Head to wwww.ObjectiveWellness.com and enter the ASKLISA promo code to get 15% off.
Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/
Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com
Be sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan
41: How Do I Help My Kid Find Friends Again?
The pandemic has disrupted our kids' social lives. What can parents do to help a child make new friends if they've withdrawn from their peers? How do we help kids who are reluctant to reach out, or who rub their classmates the wrong way? A mom emails about her twelve and a half-year-old daughter who was once an extrovert and now is not. Dr. Lisa explains the five categories that have been identified by research to describe kids' social profiles, and how knowing these categories helps us give children the right kind of support. Should parents try to engineer friendships? Lisa has a strong opinion on this topic while Reena asks how we can help kids find secure friendships as we emerge from Covid-19.
BOOKGIVEAWAY:
The Science of Making Friends: Helping Socially Challenged Teens and Young Adults; By Elizabeth A. Laugeson, Psy.D.
Enter to win a copy from the @asklisapodcast.
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4. For U.S. residents only
(Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 5/31/21. Winners will be chosen at random and books will be mailed to the winners.
Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/
Ask Lisa is produced by: www.GoodTroubleProductions.com
Be sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan
40: My Kid’s Room Is a Hot Mess. What Should I Do?
Should you be concerned if your child has a messy, disorganized room? A mom emails asking for advice on how to handle a kid's room that feels out of control. Dr. Lisa introduces us to the term executive functioning, the mental processes that help with managing oneself and one's possessions. Reena asks if being disorganized as a child can lead to problems down the line. Lisa offers guidance on when it's time to step in and how to help your children organize themselves and their things.
BOOK GIVEAWAY
Enter to win a copy of How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish.
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4. For U.S. residents only
(Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EDT on 5/24/21. Winner will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners.)
Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/
Ask Lisa is produced by: www.GoodTroubleProductions.com
Be sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan
39: How Do I Get My Kids to Stop Fighting?
After more than a year of being stuck at home in a pandemic, it’s no surprise siblings are getting on each other's nerves. Should parents step in - or step back - when kids start fighting? Dr. Lisa tackles this question and also explains how parents' approach to conflict can influence how kids fight with their siblings. Reena asks how parents can keep their cool when heads are getting hot, and whether kids can really learn to manage their own conflicts. Dr. Lisa describes strategies that work having seen them in action during a unique summer job.
For Children Everywhere
Give India helps individuals donate to NGO’s in India helping to fight the Covid-19 outbreak.
Send us your questions for our upcoming podcast on talking to kids about race with author Emmanuel Acho. Send questions to asklisa@drlisadamour.com.
Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com
Follow us on Instagram and Twitter @asklisapodcast
38: How Do I Teach My Kids About Consent?
Talking to kids about their love lives can be uncomfortable, but discussing consent is one of the most important conversations to have with our children. Dr. Lisa explains why she feels that when we focus on consent, we are articulating the lowest possible bar for acceptable physical intimacy. She offers thoughts on how we might rethink and reframe the entire topic in order to be most helpful to our children. Reena asks: Can we change our collective mindset on consent? And how do you explain coercion and consent to children? The conversation includes a look at how pornography factors into teenagers' understanding of consensual relationships.
BOOK GIVEAWAY:
One copy each of Girls & Sex and Boys & Sex by Peggy Orenstein
Enter to win one of 2 books being given away by @asklisapodcast.
1. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and/or LinkedIn @asklisapodcast
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3. Enter as many times as you'd like
4. For U.S. residents only
(Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 5/10/21. Winners will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners.)
OTHER RESOURCES:
Lisa's articles from the NYT:
Talking With Both Daughters and Sons About Sex (1/11/17)
Getting ‘Consent’ for Sex Is Too Low a Bar (7/18/18)
Why Teenagers Mix Drinking and Sex (11/14/18)
37: How Do I Know If My Child Has an Eating Disorder?
Experts are finding that the pandemic has led to an alarming rise in eating disorders. Dr. Lisa explains how eating disorders can sneak up on families and why they can be incredibly harmful. Lisa and Reena discuss how social media can contribute to eating disorders and the fact that these illnesses affects people from all genders, economic backgrounds, and races. Early intervention matters, so what are the signs of an eating disorder? How do you talk to kids about eating disorders? And when should you seek help?
FOR CHILDREN EVERYWHERE:
Eating disorders can be linked to food insecurity. Feeding America can help you find your local food bank to make a donation.
https://www.feedingamerica.org/find-your-local-foodbank
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:
Lisa’s NYT column: Eating Disorders in Teens Have 'Exploded' in the Pandemic
anorexiafamily.com Help for parents of children and teens suffering from anorexia and other eating disorders.
feast-ed.org F.E.A.S.T. is an international non-profit organization of and for caregivers of loved ones suffering from eating disorders.
nationaleatingdisorders.org NEDA supports individuals and families affected by eating disorders, and serves as a catalyst for prevention, cures and access to quality care.
maudsleyparents.org Maudsley Parents was created in 2006 by parents who helped their children recover with family-based treatment, to offer hope and help to other families confronting eating disorders.
eatingdisorders.ucsd.edu/resources/ Resources recommended by the Eating Disorders Center for Treatment and Research at University of California, San Diego
www.childrenshospital.org/centers-and-services/programs/a-_-e/eating-disorders-program/helpful-links Resources recommended by the Eating Disorders Program at Boston Children’s Hospital
https://www.aedweb.org/resources/about-eating-disorders Informational resources developed by the Academy for Eating Disorders
Ask Lisa is produced by www.GoodTroubleProductions.com
Be sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan
36: Helping Kids Manage Grief and Loss
"If the pandemic is about anything, it's about loss,” says Dr. Lisa Damour. Grief can come in different forms - from losing a loved one, to mourning the loss of senior year in high school, to not getting into your favorite college. How can you tell if your child is grieving and what can you do to help? Lisa and Reena examine how to support our kids as they cope with loss. Reena shares how a bouncy castle rented on the morning of her grandfather’s funeral helped her family deal with loss. Lisa discusses insights from Sigmund Freud - written over one hundred years ago - that can be helpful as we find our way through the pandemic.
Enter to win one of two copies of "Fall of Freddie the Leaf" being given away by the @asklisapodcast. The book has helped children and adults deal with the mourning process.
1. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and/or LinkedIn @asklisapodcast
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3. Enter as many times as you'd like
4. For U.S. residents only
(Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 4/26/21. Winners will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners.)
Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/
Ask Lisa is produced by Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com
Be sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan
35: Sexy Social Media. Where Should Parents Draw the Line?
How do you talk to kids about social media postings that might cross a line? What's the best way to start a conversation with your sons and daughters about what's too sexy for public consumption? A parent writes to Lisa and Reena about the suggestive TikTok postings her daughter puts up. Lisa explains how to open up lines of communication and the guidance parents might give about posts that could be seen as provocative. Lisa also shares what she is seeing during the pandemic and details why kids post suggestive content at this age.
Enter to win one of two copies being given away by the @asklisapodcast of Lisa's fabulous New York Times best-selling book Under Pressure: Confronting the Epidemic of Stress and Anxiety in Girls.
1. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and/or LinkedIn @asklisapodcast
2. Tag a friend and leave a comment (on Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn)
3. Enter as many times as you'd like
4. For U.S. residents only
(Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 4/19/21. Winners will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners.)
Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/
Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com
34: How to Raise an Adult
How do you prepare kids for life in the real world? Author Julie Lythcott-Haims joins Lisa and Reena for a conversation on the non-academic skills your children need to succeed as they move into young adulthood. Julie spent more than a decade at Stanford University, some of that time as the dean of first-year students. The women talk about how to discuss race with our children, the different chores kids should take on as they age, and the critical importance of having real responsibilities at home. Julie describes the power of positive parenting and talks about her brand-new book Your Turn: How to Be an Adult.
Enter to win one of two copies being given away by the @asklisapodcast of Julie’s new book Your Turn: How to Be an Adult.
1. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and/or LinkedIn @asklisapodcast
2. Tag a friend and leave a comment (on Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn)
3. Enter as many times as you'd like
4. For U.S. residents only
(Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 4/12/21. Winners will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners.)
Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/
Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com
33: Encore Podcast: Toolbox for Terrible Times
As we move into the next phase of this pandemic we take listeners back to an encore presentation of "Toolbox for Terrible Times: How to Manage Hopelessness and Helplessness." Lisa offers specific tools to help children with their feelings and describes the key role played by healthy psychological defenses. Reena gets emotional talking about what her son's Connecticut teacher did to prepare her students for the first day back at school. The conversation also covers psychological research on how both children and adults can significantly increase their well-being.
Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com
Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com
Ask Lisa is produced by www.GoodTroubleProductions.com
Be sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter @AskLisaPodcast @LDamour @ReenaNinan
32: Lying, Sneaking, Cheating. What Keeps Kids From Being Honest?
There are many reasons why kids lie to parents. Dr. Lisa gives several explanations for why kids sometimes don’t tell the truth and shares stories from her practice of the difficult scenarios she's helped families navigate, including an example of when parents assume the worst about their teen's behavior and get kids to live down to their expectations. Dr. Lisa and Reena also discuss cheating and how what happens in the mind of a six-year-old cheater differs from cheating among high school students. Ultimately, helping kids develop a fine-tuned conscience can make all the difference when it comes to being honest.
FOR CHILDREN EVERYWHERE: First Book works with half a million teachers in underserved communities to get them books and much needed resources. The organization believes the best way out of poverty is education: www.firstbook.org
ARTICLE: Lisa's NYT article How to Help a Teen Out of a Homework Hole
Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com
Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com
Follow us on Instagram and Twitter @asklisapodcast
31: My Kid Looked at Porn. What Should I Do?
Talking to a child about pornography might not be a conversation most parents think of having. However, by the age of sixteen, 90% of kids have looked at porn. Dr. Lisa Damour explains that kids' interest in sex is normal and part of healthy development. But she also explains how porn can be traumatic and confusing to kids and teens who encounter it. How do you approach the conversation and at what age should you start discussing it? Reena asks for tips on how to make these talks less uncomfortable.
BOOK GIVEAWAY
Enter to win a copy of Sex, Teens, & Everything in Between by Shafia Zaloom or a copy of It's Perfectly Normal by Robie H. Harris and Michelle Emberley, given away by @asklisapodcast.
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3. Enter as many times as you'd like
4. For U.S. residents only
(Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 3/22/21. Winners will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners.)
ARTICLES
Lisa's NYT article: How to Talk to Your Teenager About Pornography
Shafia Zaloom's NYT article: Kids Are Watching Pornography. Here's How to Talk About It
Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com
Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com
Follow us on Instagram and Twitter @asklisapodcast
30: My Kids & I Have Hit a Wall. How Do We Keep Going?
With the one year anniversary of the pandemic approaching there are reasons to be hopeful. The infection rates are dropping and more vaccines are being distributed. So why do so many people still feel down? Reena asks about what parents can do when they feel the ground is shifting and things are out of their control. How do we help kids manage the anxiety of starting in-person school and the persistent stress of this pandemic? Lisa talks through strategies for finding a way out of feeling anxious and depressed.
Book Giveaway!!
Enter to win one of 3 copies of A Place to Hang the Moon by Kate Albus being given away by @asklisapodcast.
1. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and/or LinkedIn @asklisapodcast
2. Tag a friend and leave a comment (on Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn)
3. Enter as many times as you'd like
4. For U.S. residents only
(Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 3/15/21. Winners will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners.)
Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com
Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com
Follow us on Instagram and Twitter @asklisapodcast
29: How Do I Get My Kid Into Mindfulness?
Finding time to quiet your mind can have real benefits for you and your child. Author, instructor, mom, and entrepreneur Mallika Chopra is our special guest. She says that meditation isn’t just repeating mantras - there are many other ways your kids can be mindful. Mallika also talks about her father Deepak Chopra and how he found meditation after going through his own personal struggles. Mindful eating is also discussed.
Book Giveaway!!
Enter to win one of 3 copies of Mallika Chopra's new book Just Be You being given away by @asklisapodcast.
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2. Tag a friend and leave a comment (on Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn)
3. Enter as many times as you'd like
4. For U.S. residents only
(Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 3/8/21. Winners will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners.)
Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com
Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com
Follow us on Instagram and Twitter @asklisapodcast
28: Bored, Sad, & Smoking Weed: How Do We Talk to Kids About Drug Use?
A parent writes in asking for help to address a teenager's marijuana use. Some teens are turning to drugs in this pandemic as they are looking for ways to cope with the sadness and boredom. Dr. Lisa explains what actually works in getting kids to stop using drugs and how to talk with kids in a way that's likely to keep them from becoming involved with drugs in the first place. Dr. Lisa talks about choices kids might make in the pandemic that could have irreversible consequences, while also offering tips on positive coping. Reena asks when adults should be concerned about their own behavior with regard to alcohol or marijuana use.
BOOK GIVEAWAY:
Thrivers: The Surprising Reason Why Some Kids Struggle and Others Shine, by Dr. Michele Borba
Enter to win one of 3 books being given away by @asklisapodcast.
1. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and/or LinkedIn @asklisapodcast
2. Tag a friend and leave a comment (on Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn)
3. Enter as many times as you'd like
4. For U.S. residents only
(Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook/LinkedIn. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 3/1/21. Winners will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners.)
Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com
Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com
Follow us on Instagram and Twitter @asklisapodcast
27: What Do I Do When Friends and Family Don't Share Our Covid Rules?
Should you speak up when you disagree with the approach other families are taking with their Covid rules? Reena discusses the latest news on the spread of the British mutation and Dr. Lisa describes the mental maneuvers we make when trying to rationalize behavior. How do we find peace when we feel uneasy with what other families are doing? And how do you talk with children about the fact that different families follow different rules?
For Children Everywhere - “A Million Thanks” collects and sends millions of letters thanking and supporting our active, reserve, and veteran military. Generosity can come in the form of writing letters or sending art work - all your child needs to send is a picture or note. The organization does request a $1 donation for postage as they sort letters to get into the hands of those who need the mail the most:
https://amillionthanks.org/
Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com
Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com
Follow us on Instagram and Twitter @asklisapodcast
26: My Child is Turning Into a Teenager. How Do I Handle It?
When kids hit thirteen they often become highly emotional. What happens in the brain and the body during this time? Dr. Lisa explains and also talks about the process of "separation-individuation" where young people seek to define their own identities - often by being hard on their folks.
Parents sometimes assume that age thirteen is the beginning of adolescence. But is it really? And how can you help a tween or teen who's having an emotional meltdown? Dr. Lisa has good news: the intensity of early adolescence doesn’t last forever and there are effective things parents can do to manage bumpy moments with their teen.
BOOK GIVEAWAY: 14 Talks By Age 14: The Essential Conversations You Need to Have with Your Kids Before They Start High School; by Michelle Icard
Enter to win one of 3 books being given away by @asklisapodcast.
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3. Enter as many times as you'd like
4. For U.S. residents only
(Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 2/15/21. Winners will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners.)
25: How Do I Get My Smelly Teen to Shower?
How do you get kids to understand the importance of hygiene? A mom writes in that her son is making life unbearable at home because he refuses to take regular showers since he has spent much of the year learning remotely. Dr. Lisa explains the concept of habituation - the process of growing accustomed to sensory input - and discusses with Reena the science behind sensation and perception. Lisa offers strategies to help kids understand why they can't smell themselves and gives guidance on when, as a parent, it's time to lay down the law. Reena and Lisa also talk about the sweet smell of success. Reena’s Tampa Bay Buccaneers made it to the Super Bowl. What life lessons can Tom Brady and Gronk teach us from the football field?
Lisa's 1/29/29 article in The New York Times: Helping a Teen Who Is Angry About House Rules on Covid
BOOK GIVEAWAY: Dr. Cara Natterson's books on puberty: "The Care & Keeping of You" (Book 1 for younger girls & Book 2 for older girls) and "Guy Stuff." Enter to win one set of all 3 books being given away by @asklisapodcast.
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3. Enter as many times as you'd like
4. For U.S. residents only
(Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 2/8/21. Winners will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners.)
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Ask Lisa is produced by Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com
Be sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan
24: My Daughter Is Questioning Her Gender. What Do I Do?
A single mom writes in feeling worried because her daughter is questioning her gender. Dr. Lisa explains what we understand about gender identity and sexual orientation, and offers advice on what to do when you are at an impasse with your child. Parents often feel they need to drive the bus on getting to a desired outcome, but that's not usually the best approach. Lisa and Reena talk about how to think with your child about complex and delicate topics, and Lisa explains what teenagers really respect in adults. She also discusses research she uncovered about the parent-child relationship while writing Untangled that might surprise you.
Lisa's 10/7/20 book review in The New York Times: 'Tomboy’ Looks at Gender Roles, and Role-Playing, Through the Ages
BOOK GIVEAWAY:
Dr. Lisa Damour’s “Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood.”
Enter to win one of 3 copies being given away by @asklisapodcast.
1. Follow us on Instagram and/or Facebook @asklisapodcast
2. Tag a friend and leave a comment (on Instagram/Facebook)
3. Enter as many times as you'd like
4. For U.S. residents only
(Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 2/1/21. Winners will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners.)
Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/
Ask Lisa is produced by Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com
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23: I Can’t Make Sense of America. What Do I Tell My Kids?
It’s not always easy to be the grownup in the room. What are the teachable moments for our children as we watch alarming events unfold in Washington DC?
How do you move beyond intense polarization? Lisa talks about research conducted by social psychologist, Henri Tajfel, who survived WW II only because his German captors never discovered that he was Jewish. Tajfel explains how the Nazis are not so different from us. How does his research apply to present day and the recent Capitol Hill riots?
How do you help kids see when they’re dehumanizing other people? Reena asks about radicalization online and cancel culture. Lisa explains how you can help your family work against discrimination and prejudice.
Lisa's 1.7.20 article in The New York Times: Parenting While Shocked
BOOK GIVEAWAY:
New York Times personal finance columnist Ron Lieber's new book publishes next week! Enter to win one of 3 copies being given away by @asklisapodcast.
1. Follow us on Instagram and/or Facebook @asklisapodcast
2. Tag a friend and leave a comment (on Instagram/Facebook)
3. Enter as many times as you'd like
4. For U.S. residents only
(Give-away is not sponsored or endorsed by Instagram/Facebook. It will close at 11:59 p.m. EST on 1/25/21. Winners will be chosen at random and will be notified within 24 hours of the end of the give-away. Books will be mailed to the winners directly from the publisher.)
Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/
Ask Lisa is produced by Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com
Be sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan
22: My Kid Hates Remote Learning. What Do I Do?
Parents are finding it hard to get their children to feel motivated about school, especially when they are learning remotely. Dr. Lisa explains strategies that might help and how parents can help kids keep the academic train on its tracks. Lisa and Reena talk about supporting children for whom school is an uphill battle, even under normal conditions, and what parents should do if they are the ones who feel like they are drowning. Reena talks about the emotional experience she had selling an old sofa and how it put into perspective the struggle many parents are going through.
For Children Everywhere - UNICEF works in 180 different countries and territories to save children’s lives and protect their rights.
Join us this Friday, Jan 15th, 2021 at 3pm EST on Instagram Live @asklisapodcast. We will be taking your parenting questions live!
Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/
Ask Lisa is produced by Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com
Be sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter @AskLisaPodcast @LDamour @ReenaNinan Sent from my iPhone
21: How Do I Hit the Reset Button for 2021?
Lisa and Reena kick off the new year with a look at positive psychology. What is it and how exactly does it work? How do you stay positive when things aren’t rosy? Reena asks about the psychology of manifesting. Does it really work? They also look at sadness and happiness. Lisa shares why the two emotions don't cancel each other out but, instead, often live side by side. In other words, the presence of negative does not mean the absence of positive. Lisa explains that what psychologists call "pleasure scheduling" can help boost mood and also covers the critical importance of our personal running narratives - or "self-talk."
For Children Everywhere - Brain & Behavior Research Foundation is the nation’s top non-governmental founder of mental health research grants to scientists. Www.BBRFoundation.org
Additional resources:
Ask Lisa is produced by
Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com
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20: Kids & Covid: Pediatrician & Covid-19 Expert Dr. Cara Natterson Answers Your Questions
When can your kids get vaccinated? If my child has recovered from Covid-19, how long does immunity last? How do you know when it’s really safe to send your kids back to school? Lisa and Reena get answers to key medical questions about kids and Covid-19 with special guest expert, pediatrician Dr. Cara Natterson.
CARA NATTERSON, MD, is a pediatrician who has been helping schools with Covid-19 health and safety plans and a New York Times bestselling author of puberty and parenting books. Dr. Natterson pens a weekly newsletter about the intersection of science, parenting, and the coronavirus. Learn more about Dr. Natterson and subscribe to her newsletter at www.worryproofmd.com.
For Children Everywhere - The American Lung Association supports your breath through education, advocacy and groundbreaking research. With COVID-19, the lung disease that has stopped the world, support to the Lung Association is needed now more than ever. Donate at www.lung.org
Talk to your child about vaping with the American Lung Association's Get Your Head Out of the Cloud conversation guide. Lisa was honored to help develop the conversation guide in collaboration with the American Lung Association.
Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/
Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com
Be sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter @AskLisaPodcast @LDamour @ReenaNinan
19: How Will the Pandemic Affect my Child Long-term?
We like to think that time can heal a lot, but when do we need to worry about the pandemic's lasting impact on our children? Lisa introduces us to the concept of “ordinary magic” - protective processes that happen at home which can shield children from persistently difficult circumstances. Lisa and Reena discuss the research on resilience and what it teaches us about kids who thrive during hardship and how parents can help.
Resources on resiliency:
Check out Reena’s show on YouTube “The Rebound” for stories of how people have made it out of their hardest moments @itstherebound: bit.ly/381xcAf
“Ordinary Magic” a book by psychologist Dr. Ann Masten. https://www.guilford.com/books/Ordinary-Magic/Ann-Masten/9781462523719/reviews
For Children Everywhere - Blessings in a Backpack mobilizes communities, individuals, and resources to provide food for elementary school children across America who might otherwise go hungry. Donate at www.blessingsinabackpack.org
Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/
Ask Lisa is produced by Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com
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18: Can Online Socializing Go Too Far?
What’s the limit for children socializing online? Many kids use social media to connect with their friends and as an escape from the monotony of this pandemic. Lisa walks us through the pros and cons of being online - from when getting lost in distractions can be a good thing to when digital technology can be detrimental to a child’s development. Lisa and Reena unpack the research on how best to take a break, especially when our kids (or we!) need to give the body a rest from stress hormones or clear out mental clutter. The episode wraps up by answering a critical question: When is it time to be concerned about our kids' online social activity?
For Children Everywhere - Crisis Text Line is free 24/7 support for those in crisis. Text 741 741 from anywhere in the US to reach a trained crisis counselor. www.crisistextline.org
Lisa’s most recent NYT column: How Teens Use Downtime to Connect, Distract or Reflect
Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/
Ask Lisa is produced by Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com
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17: How Do I Get My Kid To Open Up?
How do you approach your child when you know they may be struggling but won’t open up? Lisa shares what she learned when she asked teens why they sometimes clam up around their parents. Lisa and Reena consider how much parents really need to know about the details of their kid's lives and the different ways to support children and help them process their emotions, even when they play their cards close to their chests. For parents who feel that their kid broke up with them, how do you regain their trust? When should you really start to worry?
For Children Everywhere - KIVA crowd funds loans for businesses in over 80 countries. The borrowers have a 96% repayment rate. Once repayment is made, you can resend again to someone else. One hundred percent of the money you give goes straight to funding the loans.
Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/
Ask Lisa is produced by Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com
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16: How Do You Handle Holidays in a Pandemic?
Navigating the holidays under Covid has its own pressures. A season that should be marked by joy is being met with sadness and loss by so many. Lisa explains how taking time to mourn the temporary loss of our regular traditions can help us deal with, and move past, these emotions. Understanding that it won’t always feel this way can help children cope with uncertainty. The silver lining is that finding our way through intensely sad times helps to build resilience.
For Children Everywhere - Feeding America is the nation’s largest domestic hunger-relief organization. It has served over 40 million people through food banks and meal programs: www.feedingamerica.org
Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/
Ask Lisa is produced by Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com
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15: How Has the Pandemic Changed College Admissions?
High school seniors are feeling the disruption of the pandemic as they tackle the college admissions process. How do we help them manage these uncertain times while they plan the next chapter of their lives?
Special guest and New York Times bestselling author Jeff Selingo joins us to answer your questions about applying to college in a pandemic. Drawing on research from his brand new book, Who Gets In & Why: A Year Inside College Admissions, Jeff explains what he learned while embedded with three university admissions offices. How do admissions gatekeepers decide who gets in? How can applicants stand out? Are schools doing away with the SAT/ACT? How much do grades really matter? How are universities changing their approach to admissions in light of the pandemic? Jeff answers these questions and more.
For Children Everywhere - Girlstart inspires girls in STEM. Their mission is to increase girls’ interest and engagement in STEM through innovative, informal STEM education programs: www.girlstart.org
For more on Jeff Selingo, check out https://www.jeffselingo.com/
Lisa's New York Times article about taking a gap year: Getting Into College Doesn't Mean Students are Ready to Go
Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/
Ask Lisa is produced by Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com
Be sure to follow us on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter @AskLisaPodcast
14: Dads & Daughters, Mothers & Sons: How Does Gender Shape Parenting?
How do dads differ from moms when it comes to raising kids? Lisa unpacks the research on the different roles each parent plays while pointing out that there are no hard and fast gender lines in parenting and that you don't have to be a parent to play a powerful role in a child's life. Lisa and Reena talk about the dynamics that often unfold between dads and daughters and mothers and sons, especially in the context of adolescence. What do all kids want? They want to feel valued and admired.
For Children Everywhere - Jumpstart is a national early education organization giving kids help with literacy and social-emotional programming for preschool children from under-resourced communities. It promotes quality early learning for all children: https://www.jstart.org/
Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com
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Follow us on Instagram and Twitter @asklisapodcast
13: How Do I Motivate My Kid to Do Homework?
Students are finding it hard to focus on school in the midst of a pandemic. But laying a good foundation for how homework gets done is a skill that can be carried into adulthood. Lisa explains the psychological research behind two different kinds of motivation: intrinsic and extrinsic. Is it appropriate to reward kids for doing their work? Lisa discusses what parents can do to help kids self-motivate and stay on task.
Lisa's October column in The New York Times: How to Do School When Motivation Has Gone Missing https://www.nytimes.com/2020/10/29/well/family/teenagers-motivation-school.html
For Children Everywhere - GoFundMe.org’s Covid-19 Relief Fund financially supports people impacted by the pandemic and organizations helping with relief efforts: https://www.gofundme.com/f/covid19-relief-cause-fund
Special Guest Jeff Selingo, author of “Who Gets In and Why: A Year Inside College Admissions,” will be joining us in an upcoming episode. Send us your college admission questions to AskLisa@DrLisaDamour.com and we'll pose them to Jeff.
Follow us on Instagram at @asklisapodcast @Lisa.Damour @ReenaNinan
Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com
12: What Can Kids Learn from a Tense Election?
How can parents help children cultivate the ability to have tough conversations? How do we teach tolerance? Lisa explains the building blocks of civil discourse and the emotional and developmental skills that help kids engage peers constructively on the charged topics of politics and race.
Laurel's Center for Research on Girls, civil discourse resources (scroll down for "Engaging in Civil Discourse" brief): https://lcrg.laurelschool.org/research/lcrg-research-briefs
For Children Everywhere - iCivics is an online resource founded in 2009 by Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O’Connor to provide free resources for civics education: https://www.icivics.org
The Rebound: Watch the first episode on how a former NFL player rebounded from police brutality. New YouTube show hosted by Reena Ninan about coming out of your worst moments: www.youtube.com/TheReboundwithReenaNinan
Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com
Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com
Follow us on Instagram and Twitter @asklisapodcast
11: Where's the Line Between Being Healthy and Having an Eating Disorder?
Eating concerns are an issue in many families, especially during the Coronavirus pandemic. What should a parent look out for? When is it time to be concerned? And what happens in the mind of someone who struggles with an eating disorder? A new survey by WETA/PBS Newshour finds that teenagers ranked body image as their top source of concern in the pandemic - with boys expressing this worry almost as often as girls. Lisa looks at the factors exacerbating this problem: social media, the wish for control, and more.
Lisa is also featured in a virtual conversation sponsored by WETA/PBS Newshour called “Wellbeings: Teens, Covid, and Coping.” Watch at: https://wellbeings.org/
For Children Everywhere - Chef Jose Andres’ World Central Kitchen which provides food where it’s needed the most from voting polls to disaster areas: https://wck.org/
Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com
Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com
10: How Do I Parent When I Feel Like I’m Drowning?
Parents are faced with new pressures under Covid-19, and many of us are barely holding it together. When does having personal struggles translate into bad parenting? While it's important to be honest with our kids, Lisa explains what’s not okay for your kids to see and experience as you are working through a difficult time. Adding to the pressure, many parents have lost their supportive networks. We no longer see other parents during school pick-up or on the sidelines of soccer games. It may be time to find our new “soccer sideline” groups. Reena also talks about her fear of winter coming in a brainstorming session about how we'll cope. Lisa explains the research on how having breaks to look forward to can help your mental health.
Lisa & Reena also announce a new weekly segment called “For Children Everywhere.” One charity will be spotlighted each week for listeners who would like to donate. This week's organization, "Women's Bean Project" is based in Lisa’s hometown of Denver, Colorado. It helps unemployed women return to the work force: https://www.womensbeanproject.com/
Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com
Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com
9: What to Do When Kids Don’t Listen: Advice for Threenagers to Teenagers
What really works when kids just won’t listen? Dr. Lisa explains there are two different mental states that parents should toggle between — warm parent and robot parent. She explains how cultivating a joyful relationship with kids puts money in the account from which parents write their disciplinary checks. If you're clashing with your teen, it’s never too late to turn things around. And those raising younger kids find out why it's often harder to parent age three than age two (hint: threes enjoy mean fun).
Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com
Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com
Charity of the Week - For Children Everywhere: https://www.childrenshopeindia.org/
8: Apathetic, Cranky, Frustrated: Dealing with Kids' Distress About School
What should parents do when their kids are fed up and unhappy about school? Psychologists are witnessing the rise of emotional distress in children as they try to manage their disrupted academic year. Stress is processed in different ways by different children - some become anxious and sad, and some act out. How do you get kids to pivot from bad behavior? Dr. Lisa decodes how to identify and work through emotional distress.
Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com
Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com
Charity of the Week - For Children Everywhere: https://www.modestneeds.org/
7: When Is Anxiety a Disorder? When Does Sadness Become Depression?
Anxiety often serves as a normal and useful warning system - an emotional alarm that rings when something isn't right. Lisa discusses the difference between healthy and unhealthy anxiety, and explains how anxiety changes the activity of the heart and lungs. She provides tips on how to counter anxiety by harnessing the connection between the lungs and the brain.
What is the difference between sadness and depression? When should we be concerned about the possibility of suicide? Lisa and Reena also consider common warning signs. The show ends on an upbeat note about effective psychological interventions for treating anxiety and depression.
Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com
Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com
6: Will the Pandemic Disrupt My Kid’s Social Development?
When should parents hit the panic button over their child’s social development? A mom writes in about her shy, introverted teen, wondering if her daughter has enough contact with friends. What key milestones might kids be missing as a result of the coronavirus pandemic? Lisa walks us through the development of social skills from infancy through college age, describing what we should keep an eye on and what we can do at home to help kids build the skills they need.
Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com
Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com
5: Toolbox for Terrible Times: Managing Helplessness and Hopelessness
How do we get through the pandemic without losing our minds? Lisa offers parents four distinct tools to help ourselves and our children through these challenging times. The specific tools are "feeling with" children, supporting healthy psychological defenses, having the right words for painful emotions, and finding ways - like using humor- to rally when we're feeling down. Reena gets emotional talking about what a teacher did to prepare her students for the first day back. Also explained is a key psychological research finding on how people can significantly increase their well-being.
Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com
Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com
4: Helping Kids Eat Well and Stay Active Under Covid-19
How do we encourage our kids to be active when they want to couch surf? Lisa tackles a listener’s question about a tween who has become sedentary during the pandemic. As much of the U.S. is getting back to school—often with distance learning—exercising, eating well, and maintaining routines now matter more than ever. Talking to kids about healthy eating comes with an unexpected lesson from a famous neighborhood—Sesame Street.
Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com
Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com
3: How to Deal with Conflict While Stuck at Home
Conflict is unavoidable. Having a strategy can help. Divorce rates have increased in some countries under lockdown from Covid-19. When can a relationship not be repaired? How do we teach our kids to deal with conflict? Lisa covers the research on how to get out of an impasse, especially when parenting teens. Reena shares high school teacher Mrs. Jackson’s words on conflict resolution. How do we come to terms with negative emotions and hit the restart button? How do we get along when we're all stuck at home?
Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com
Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com
2: Back to School During Coronavirus
Uncertainty surrounds this school year amid all the Covid-19 news. Dr. Lisa talks about what families need most as they juggle working from home and school. How do you respond when everything seems out of your control? Reena discusses some of the work-life tradeoffs that she has struggled to manage, including making the hard choice to go to Benghazi with her breast pump.
Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com
Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com
1: Parenting During a Pandemic
How can you tell when your child is not coping well during this Covid-19 pandemic? Dr. Lisa breaks down what to watch for in a child’s behavior. How much screen time is bad for a child’s brain? She also explains the term “learned helplessness.”
Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com
Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com