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Not Literary

Not Literary

By Auriane de Rudder

Drugs! Debauchery! Divas! Drunks! Debutantes! Dates! Stories from writer Auriane de Rudder, narrated by the author herself.

You can get a copy of Not Literary or any of Auriane's books by visiting Aurianederudder.com. You can also sign up for our mailing list on the site and get book tour and giveaway info.

To donate to the Not Literary Podcast, Venmo @aurianederudder or Cashapp $Charlottefootlove. Any donation over $20 gets a special treat!
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Not Literary Meditation: Betty Ford Spa-Day with Lindsay Lohan AND Falling for Poet Stephen Zerance!
Not Literary Meditation: Betty Ford Spa-Day with Lindsay Lohan AND Falling for Poet Stephen Zerance!
Happy Lohan Holiday! Today's episode is Lohan Themed, since our girl Linds is poised for a come back. We do a Lindsay themed meditation, and then are joined by Poet Stephen Zerance for an afterparty. Find out all about Stephen at @stephenzerance or @lvcifers_revenge2 or sign up to get his new poetry FO FREE at stephenzerance.substack.com. You can find your host, author Auriane de Rudder on IG and Tiktok @aurianederudder or visit Aurianederudder.com to get any of her books. Interested in Aurianes' new gig as host of the Why Horror Podcast? Follow @thewhyhorrorpodcast on IG and TikTok and stay tuned til our premier in January! Stay healthy, babes! Errybody gettin sick rn!! πŸ˜¬πŸ’€πŸ€’ Xoxo Aur πŸ€Έβ€β™€οΈπŸŒˆπŸ’• OH! And here is the link for the Lindsay 911 call from Betty Ford, for our die hard Lohan fans. https://youtu.be/kdqQrs-bDtU
01:06:22
November 29, 2022
Halloween Meditation and Pandemic Tales: Auriane Builds a Bunker with Special Guest Justin Mayfield!
Halloween Meditation and Pandemic Tales: Auriane Builds a Bunker with Special Guest Justin Mayfield!
The #NotLiteraryPodcast is back, baby!! Just in time for Halloween! Join us while we zen out with a little non-pretentious autumn meditation, and then pop the champagne and talk about the batshit crazy things we did during the...Pandemic. πŸ‘»πŸ˜±πŸ‘½πŸ‘» That's right, we have FINALLY stepped out of our denial/nostalgia phase and into our let's-process-this-mess phase, but don't worry. We're just as irreverent and light as ever. And there's always cocktails at the afterparty. 🍸🍹🍸🍹 This month, we are joined by extra special guest Justin Mayfield from I Wore Lipstick, Adveket Cosmetics and now...the Why Horror? Podcast. You can find out more about Justin @JustinMayfieldArt or by visiting IWoreLipstick.org. As always, you can find Auriane and all her writing at www.AurianedeRudder.com. Follow our new HORROR PODCAST @whyhorrorpodcast and stay tuned for updates! πŸ₯°πŸ¦ΆπŸ‘ πŸ“–πŸ“šπŸΈπŸΉSo...what's the craziest thing you did during quar? Contact Auriane @aurianederudder in Instagram and let us know. You may make it into our next episode!
58:04
October 29, 2022
Daydrinking With Tupac: A Not Literary Meditation
Daydrinking With Tupac: A Not Literary Meditation
We're back for season 4 of the Not Literary Podcast! This time, instead of totally unpretentious Storytelling, we're doing totally unpretentious Meditations. These are meant to chill you out, make you smile and sometimes even make you laugh. After each meditation, we're joined by a special guest for an afterparty, complete with cocktails! Join us and de-stress, Not Literary Style.
24:08
September 28, 2022
Baltimore Stories and Bad Girls of the 2000s with Special Guest Stephen Zerance!
Baltimore Stories and Bad Girls of the 2000s with Special Guest Stephen Zerance!
This month, I read Temp to Perm, a short story about a temp job GONE WRONG (ever heard of a KILL TANK, anyone??!) in Charm City. Afterward, I'm joined by critically acclaimed poet (and my friend!) Stephen Zerance.am we get into some more gritty Baltimore Tales about psychotic twinks, teens in trunks and Jon Benet Waters. Stephen also reads a poem from his first book of poetry, Safe Danger, (BUY IT, TRUST ME) available on Amazon. Find and follow Stephen on Twitter @stephnz, or on Instagram @stephenzerance or follow his Bad-Girls-of-the-2000s meets Satanic-Cult-Worship meme page @lvcifers_revenge. Find your host, author Auriane de Rudder on IG @aurianederudder or go to Aurianederudder.com.
01:33:44
April 18, 2022
35 Cents: Stories from New York City!
35 Cents: Stories from New York City!
Near-death experiences, Hasidic jerk offs, random legs falling from the sky, and so much more... it's New York City, baby! This month I'm joined by my friend Melissa, a long time New Yorker and we are telling lots of stories from NYC. I also read my story, 35 Cents, which is about a weird near-death experience in the city when I was a child. Shout out to Ink Babies Literary Magazine, where 35 Cents was originally published.
43:38
March 21, 2022
A Southern California Love Story: Valentine's Day Episode with Roddy Tullenz and Bre Kelley!
A Southern California Love Story: Valentine's Day Episode with Roddy Tullenz and Bre Kelley!
What happens when the douchebag you're dating thinks he's a bad boy in a movie, but he's actually more, like... Rumpelstiltskin? Auriane reads a new story (with SEX AND BLOOD in it! Happy Vday) and is joined by filmmaker Jason Willford and stand-up comedian Bre Kelley. Btw, guys, THEY'RE IN LUVVVV! See, Not Literary isn't only for loveless cynics! Check out Jason's film Disco Demons at https://youtu.be/DyUxhXAvx7A and follow Bre @brefartturd and hunt down Roddy Tullenz in the flesh by following @latenightkaraokelbc or @nightmare_tycoon. Author Auriane de Rudder is your host and can be found at Aurianederudder.com or @aurianederudder
01:14:03
February 14, 2022
And then...I Took My Top Off. NEW YEAR'S EVE SPECIAL with Not Literary and Reggie's Bar! F Omicron!
And then...I Took My Top Off. NEW YEAR'S EVE SPECIAL with Not Literary and Reggie's Bar! F Omicron!
This month, I tell a tale about FREAKING OUT and then realizing that maybe, just maybe, things are actually okay. Or maybe even, pretty good? Seemed right for #thesetryingtimes. After the story is the after party with writer Garin Pirnia and then we open...Reggie's Bar! Never been to Reggie's? It's an online bar for days (and NYE's, apparently) where ya can't go out. Or for people who just like to drink in their sweat pants. Win! Win! Spoiler: I don't make it to midnight and yes, I take my top off. Are your ears horny, now?? Happy New Year!
30:56
January 05, 2022
Not Literary Holiday eSpecie With Jesse Cooley!
Not Literary Holiday eSpecie With Jesse Cooley!
Merry Christmas! Happy Ramadan! Happy Kwanzaa! Happy Hanukkah! In this episode: Getting hit on by monks, bathing with flea and tick shampoo, CHRISTMAS CHEER (in the form of public masturbation πŸ˜‘), and of course a brand new holiday story from author Auriane de Rudder. Oh! And don't forget about Jesse and Auriane's holiday video, Cocaine Country Xxxmas! https://youtu.be/Rjd3TZtkMOI follow Jesse on IG @reaumurs and get ya paws on Auriane's books at aurianederudder.com. Happy New Year, everyone!
01:19:36
December 21, 2021
Season Two Finale!! Donnie the Dog F*cker and Afterparty with Erin the "Buxom Brunette" from Rebound
Season Two Finale!! Donnie the Dog F*cker and Afterparty with Erin the "Buxom Brunette" from Rebound
There's no gentle way to put this. This week, I'm going to introduce you to a literal dog f*cker. Fasten your seatbelts this is going to be a disgusting ride. Afterward, I'm joined by Erin, the "Buxom Brunette" from Rebound, and we talk about all the important stuff, like pimps, taking shots and, uhh, cheese?
01:10:60
November 08, 2021
Amateur Night with THE SLUTTYS!!!
Amateur Night with THE SLUTTYS!!!
This week, we read Amateur Night, a story about New Years Eve and...well? Boogins. Afterwards I'm joined by my friend Slutty (Brittney) and my other friend Slutty(Carolyn) and we reminisce about pimps, bar fights and our boobs.
01:09:46
November 02, 2021
Tumbleweeds and an afterparty with my fellow Band Aid, P(J)enny Lane!!
Tumbleweeds and an afterparty with my fellow Band Aid, P(J)enny Lane!!
I tell the story of my first night working at Tumbleweeds, a country/hiphop nightclub with some very seedy clientele. For real tho, I had to pull a BABY out of the wet tshirt contest, y'all!! Afterwards I'm joined by none other than the famous Band-Aid Jenny Lane (ha) and we talk about band boys, bar scars and crashing weddings/pretending to be lost Midwesterners stuck at CMA fest. Xoxo Sapphire
01:02:17
October 25, 2021
Don't ya Wanta Fanta?!
Don't ya Wanta Fanta?!
This week I tell the story of the time my BFF and I sold sodas on the street dressed as Fantanas. With hobos. And then got chased by the cops. And so much more! Erna, or Svana from the story joins us at the afterparty and WE.GET.MESSY. Also, if you don't know about heisting the Buffalo Trace buffalo, now you know...
01:23:10
October 18, 2021
The Inevitable Happens...
The Inevitable Happens...
No special guest today for our super short half-way through it episode. I rest my liver this week and tell the humiliating tale of HOW Alex dumped me. Spoiler: I was dressed like A CASSEROLE... Buy a copy of any of my books at Aurianederudder.com XOXO -A
20:58
October 12, 2021
Snow Ball Paul and Nothing Like a Good Day Drink: A Two-Part Storytelling event!
Snow Ball Paul and Nothing Like a Good Day Drink: A Two-Part Storytelling event!
Ever been the victim of a micropenis? What about the victim of a good day drink? Today I tell the sad but funny story of --somehow--both. I'm joined at the afterparty by two women who are in the second part of the story, my friends "Melinda" and "Karlie." Let's talk about sex in....THE UNDERGROUND RAILROAD??? Whaa?
01:14:38
October 05, 2021
An Evening With David Bergman
An Evening With David Bergman
I tell the story of my creepy boss who I assume is going to molest me, but instead surprises me in a way I never expected. Afterwards, I'm joined by my bartending sister from another mister, Kasey, and we tell a few bar scar stories for you. Also, guys, why are there so many Nashville shitters?! Kasey's husband, Brett, stops by and pokes fun at us a few times, too. As always, if you want a copy of any of my books you can find them at aurianederudder.com. Mwah!!
59:29
September 28, 2021
Hotel Paper
Hotel Paper
This week, I tell the story of this hot hot HOT military guy that I boned in a conferwnce room, and I'm joined for The After Party by my friend Matthew, who tells us all about this really scary guy we like to call Vampire Eyes. It's all bad dates and awkward trysts! Enjoy!
01:22:16
September 22, 2021
Dick Drip
Dick Drip
This week, we read the first story from my book, Rebound. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Jerry...he suffers from...DICK DRIP. After the story, Shauna joins us at the after-party where we learn ilprtant lessons about micpo penises, snow balls, and much, much more. Enjoy!! Oh and if you want a copy of Rebound to read on your own, visit Aurianederudder.com and getcha some! Xoxo Auriane
01:29:43
September 14, 2021
Drake vs Kanye: A MESSY LISTENING PARTY
Drake vs Kanye: A MESSY LISTENING PARTY
Episodes with music are only available on Spotify.
I'm joined by Brent and Trey, the hosts of @getherepod and we listen to some albums. Also Auriane gets lost somewhere in outer space, but she promises to be back for storytelling next week.
48:45
September 07, 2021
The Nashville Shitter! After party with Allie Jo Mo...
The Nashville Shitter! After party with Allie Jo Mo...
Today I tell the tale of the one, but sadly, not the only Nashville Shitter. Afterwards I'm joined by Allie Jo Mo and we talk poop stories, reveal a few bar scars and there's even a butt naked homeless woman mixed in there for ya. This is the Season 1 finale, but Not Literary will be back with a Season 2 where we're telling stories from Auriane's first book, Rebound.
01:04:30
June 07, 2021
Auriane Tries Mescaline! A Super Short Story
Auriane Tries Mescaline! A Super Short Story
This week is short and sweet, just a little quickie about club drugs and accidentally assaulting my old, perv boyfriend. Just another Sunday morning, amirite?! We will be back in full force next week for the season 1 finale, complete with a boozy afterparty and VERY special guest! Brace yourselves for...THE TALE OF THE NASHVILLE SHITTER!
10:08
June 01, 2021
"Please! Take Me to The Mall..." Auriane tries to become a stripper and FAILS. But wait,there's more
"Please! Take Me to The Mall..." Auriane tries to become a stripper and FAILS. But wait,there's more
Another short story from the book Not Literary, this one about a desperate man in a strip club and the all around f*ckery that was 2008. At the After Party, author Garin Pirnia joins us and we talk about our mutually wasted years in Chicago, blacking out, working for MyOpenBar, sex and big panties and trying to make good art (and a living) during the pandemic. Find Garin Pirnia on socials @gpirnia and visit her website GarinPirnia.com and hey, if you're a studio bro, toss her 20k, kay?
01:01:41
May 25, 2021
Ghost Party (Music free version)
Ghost Party (Music free version)
Music! Drugs! Weirdly baggy pants and butterfly hair clips! Let's take a trip back in time to the late 90s / early 2000s... I'm joined by a very special guest and we talk a lot about druggggggs babaaay! Also music. Fashion. Raves. General Fu*kery. This version of the episode is music free. If you're interested in listening to the music version you can open Spotify and listen to it there. Enjoy!
01:51:17
May 19, 2021
Getting to Know Your One Night Stand: DON'T DO IT! (Music free version)
Getting to Know Your One Night Stand: DON'T DO IT! (Music free version)
This is the story of the worst date I've ever been on in my entire life. At the after party, I'm joined by my friend Allison, who is the only person I know that's been on worse dates than I have. She has some real horror stories for you! Get ready for unsolicited dick pics, a butt guy with trypophobia, Yogi's on ecstasy and much, much more. Oh, and Auriane makes her debut...AS A RAPPER. This is the music-free version of Not Literary, and is available on all major streaming services. To hear the music, check us out on Spotify. πŸ’•
01:16:10
May 18, 2021
Getting to Know Your One Night Stand: DON'T DO IT!
Getting to Know Your One Night Stand: DON'T DO IT!
Episodes with music are only available on Spotify.
This is the story of the absolute worst date I've ever been on in my entire life. Afterwards, I'm joined by the only woman I know who's been on more bad dates than I have, Allison who skypes in all the way from Laos. Get ready for unsolicited dick pics, butt guys with Trypophobia, Tindering in Mexico, and Auriane makes her debut as a...RAPPER.
01:21:20
May 18, 2021
Ghost Party!! Is the old SE DC haunted....BY RAVERS? I tell all about good drugs in the late 90s
Ghost Party!! Is the old SE DC haunted....BY RAVERS? I tell all about good drugs in the late 90s
Episodes with music are only available on Spotify.
Music! Drugs! Weirdly baggy pants and butterfly hair clips! Let's take a trip back in time to the late 90s/ early 2000s... I'm joined by a very special guest and we talk a lot about drugggggs, babaaaay. Also. Music. Fashion. Raves. General fuc*ery.
01:52:47
May 11, 2021
Our Friend Jason: AFTER After Party
Our Friend Jason: AFTER After Party
Of course an episode about Jason would run long into the night... In this special episode Joe and I get drunk and wax poetic for almost another hour. ⚠️ There was a lot of wine...
52:19
May 04, 2021
Our Friend Jason
Our Friend Jason
This week I tell two of the more sentimental stories from Not Literary, about my good friend Jason who passed away in 2020. I then have a lengthy after party with my friend Joe where I drink way too much wine and we talk about everything from pooping to Jeffrey Epstein. I actually had to cut the after party in half, so there is a bonus episode this week if you want to hear Joe and I get really into it. Xoxo!!!
01:24:45
May 04, 2021
Dirty Donuts
Dirty Donuts
In today's story, we meet the World's Fattest Man. This story takes place in Chicago, where George Chapman will do anything to get his mitts on another Big Mac. Afterwards, my special guest Matt tells a few harrowing tales about an awkward elevator encounter and a shaved cat. Oh, and everyone hates John Mayer.
01:23:16
April 27, 2021
I Saw Your Ass on Craigslist...
I Saw Your Ass on Craigslist...
A quickie story about buying my bike from tweakers, my first week living in Long Beach. This one is solo and isn't in the book. I'll be back next weekend with the story of The Fattest Man Alive and a surprise guest!
15:15
April 17, 2021
Babycorn: A Baltimore Tale
Babycorn: A Baltimore Tale
This is a quickie story from my Baltimore years. My friend Sarah joins me (we're in Mexico this week!) to discuss our time living in Baltimore--specifically the time she kidnapped a live crab. Also we talk about Gwen Stefani's cultural appropriation, the death of DMX and the gender bending happenings at the late, great Grand Central Station.
53:25
April 13, 2021
The Literal Other Side of the Tracks
The Literal Other Side of the Tracks
A trip to Nogales, Mexico gone wrong...or right, depending on your opinion. Spoiler alert! Everybody ends up butt naked...
31:34
April 04, 2021
July 11, 2020
July 11, 2020
00:17
July 11, 2020