Dating Kinky

Dating Kinky

By Dating Kinky
A ‘cast about love, sex, romance, and kink.
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Any Problem You Can't Discuss In Your Relationship...

Dating Kinky

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The Problem With Blaming Victims of Abuse
I will be clear about my position early in this short writing: THE PERSON WHO ABUSES IS ALWAYS AT FAULT. A transcript of this podcast can be found on my blog.
03:12
January 15, 2020
How Do YOU Get Into The Right Headspace?
When you have a real life with kids, or career, or money worries, how do you get into the headspace for kink?
08:43
January 13, 2020
What Level of Kink Are You?
In writing about the power exchange/kinky play balance, I went down a rabbit hole of how to categorize or measure kink in daily life. This is what I've created as a result. A starting place for thought or discussion. 
08:40
January 8, 2020
I'm Gonna R*pe All I Want
A discussion of CNC (consensual non-consent) relationships. 
06:47
January 7, 2020
Belief Is NOT Everything. But It Is A Lot.
Belief can affect our memory, vision, hearing, and even physical strength and appearance. Let’s use it as a force for good in our lives! 
08:37
December 19, 2019
The Red Flag Diaries: How Do They Talk About Others?
Not only does how a person talk about others tell you a lot about how they will talk about you (in good times and bad), but it also informs how they will see you and interpret your actions and words. 
04:11
December 17, 2019
Words CAN Hurt
Not because of the words. Because of the actual physical harm that those words can incite. 
04:10
December 16, 2019
Got Nuance?
The less nuance we share with each other, the less accepting we are of it. And another thing I’ve noticed, those that see and respect nuance?BOTH sides hate them as a sellout, white knight, traitor, extremist…
05:51
December 15, 2019
What If You've Been Wrong Your WHOLE LIFE? I Was.
I could accept that I had been wrong and make the changes so that moving forward I could enjoy the fruits of being right, or stay comfortable in my bubble of self-righteousness and fear and disdain and loneliness. 
04:13
December 14, 2019
It's Black AND White, Not Shades Of Grey
In fact, I rarely think in shades of grey. Or compromise. Or whatever it is we’re told we’re supposed to do to get along in this world. I also have some tips on writing a dating profile to disqualify people, and hwy that's important. Excerpted from Dating Kinky: How to find the kinky love of your fantasies.
07:50
December 13, 2019
A Ticklish Situation
It’s not cool to treat people on the internet like they exist ONLY to fulfill your fetishes. Just saying.
02:45
December 12, 2019
I Don't Do Hookups (Except When I Do)
A look at hookups from a woman's perspective. 
02:35
December 11, 2019
FRAMED! A New Series On How We See The World
Sometimes our mental frames are harmful. And sometimes those frames are helpful but not as  helpful as they could be. How can we change them, when we need to to expand our perspectives and possibilities? 
09:40
December 4, 2019
Unconditional Relationships? *cough cough* BULLSHIT!
My love and my relationships are conditional. Mark Manson says that unconditional love and relationships are what we should strive for. I make my points against. 
08:33
December 2, 2019
We All Have That One Friend... Maybe YOU Are That One Friend.
The one who will put EVERYONE's needs before their own. The loyal, loving, always-there-for-you bestie who will give and give and give...
04:01
November 29, 2019
It’s My World. You’re Just Living In It
A perspective of the world that keeps us alive is more important than one that is objectively accurate. That's not easy on connecting, communicating, and understanding each other, though. 
07:46
November 27, 2019
The Red Flag Diaries: How Do They Respond To Your First "No"?
This is a new series on red flags to watch out for when meeting and dating and connecting with others in kink and elsewhere.  People who feel entitled to your time and effort and who believe that their wants and needs are more important than yours will show you this. This is a red flag. 
04:22
November 26, 2019
It's Like Toilet Paper Bondage...
Behavior modification, on yourself or others. It's not a one-and-done thing. It's more like toilet paper bondage. 
03:00
November 25, 2019
Conflict Resolution Protocol
Two ways to resolve conflict in your relationships. On involves pulling rank (in a loving way) and pattern interrupts. The other is simply an agreement of what happens when someone unilaterally ends a stressful conversation. 
08:18
November 23, 2019
I Hurt You BECAUSE I Love You.
I've heard, "I can't beat so-and-so like I used to. I love them too much." I just can't comprehend.
03:47
November 22, 2019
You Can't Even Get ONE Relationship Right! (Poly Is Not, Part XXII)
There are a lot of reasons that a relationship (or series of relationships) might not work. Polyamory or any sort of ethical non-monogamy are not the answer, nor are they right for everyone. 
04:21
November 21, 2019
Successful Relationships: 3 Critical Questions
If you are able to answer all three of these questions in the affirmative, then you have what it takes to create a successful relationship.  Will you? Maybe, maybe not.
03:46
November 20, 2019
The Way We Were, AKA The WON TWOO WAY™
I've often found that the very people who proclaim to all how accepting WE KINKSTERZ are of others are themselves incredibly intolerant of views that don't exactly match their own. 
05:42
November 19, 2019
Any Problem You Can't Discuss In Your Relationship...
…is two problems. Or more.
05:02
November 16, 2019
It's Only Romantic When You Still Love Them
“If you don’t still love them, or worse, you barely even know them, it’s creepy. It’s stalkerish.”
05:46
November 16, 2019
In Life And Love, VALUE Is The Key
Musing on the idea of value, and how important providing value is to creating love and lasting relationships.
05:29
November 16, 2019