I could accept that I had been wrong and make the changes so that moving forward I could enjoy the fruits of being right, or stay comfortable in my bubble of self-righteousness and fear and disdain and loneliness. 

In fact, I rarely think in shades of grey. Or compromise. Or whatever it is we’re told we’re supposed to do to get along in this world. I also have some tips on writing a dating profile to disqualify people, and hwy that's important. Excerpted from Dating Kinky: How to find the kinky love of your fantasies.

It’s not cool to treat people on the internet like they exist ONLY to fulfill your fetishes. Just saying.

A look at hookups from a woman's perspective. 

Sometimes our mental frames are harmful. And sometimes those frames are helpful but not as  helpful as they could be. How can we change them, when we need to to expand our perspectives and possibilities? 

My love and my relationships are conditional. Mark Manson says that unconditional love and relationships are what we should strive for. I make my points against. 

The one who will put EVERYONE's needs before their own. The loyal, loving, always-there-for-you bestie who will give and give and give...

A perspective of the world that keeps us alive is more important than one that is objectively accurate. That's not easy on connecting, communicating, and understanding each other, though. 

This is a new series on red flags to watch out for when meeting and dating and connecting with others in kink and elsewhere.  People who feel entitled to your time and effort and who believe that their wants and needs are more important than yours will show you this. This is a red flag. 

Behavior modification, on yourself or others. It's not a one-and-done thing. It's more like toilet paper bondage. 

Two ways to resolve conflict in your relationships. On involves pulling rank (in a loving way) and pattern interrupts. The other is simply an agreement of what happens when someone unilaterally ends a stressful conversation. 

I've heard, "I can't beat so-and-so like I used to. I love them too much." I just can't comprehend.

There are a lot of reasons that a relationship (or series of relationships) might not work. Polyamory or any sort of ethical non-monogamy are not the answer, nor are they right for everyone. 

If you are able to answer all three of these questions in the affirmative, then you have what it takes to create a successful relationship.  Will you? Maybe, maybe not.

I've often found that the very people who proclaim to all how accepting WE KINKSTERZ are of others are themselves incredibly intolerant of views that don't exactly match their own. 

…is two problems. Or more.

“If you don’t still love them, or worse, you barely even know them, it’s creepy. It’s stalkerish.”

Musing on the idea of value, and how important providing value is to creating love and lasting relationships.