Fetch A Pail
By Jackie & Jill
Fetch A PailNov 04, 2020
S5E4: Glucose Guardians
Jill has been sick and Jackie has been having a rough week, but despite Jackie’s transcendental curse your fav friends finally got together to make jokes about it and ask the universe to cut us (but mostly Jackie) some dang slack! Jackie is still looking for a place to live in the Bay Area that better suits her needs (of not living next door to her Ex) and it’s going so poorly the thought of moving to Bremerton has actually crossed her beautiful mind. Jill is not gonna get her hopes up (okay maybe just a little). Special surprise (to Jill) guest Adam joins us after the Cork Bork which special surprise (to Adam) is still a song written and performed by him. Alternate episode title: The One with All the (Parentheticals)
Oatmeal Cream Pie Bars: https://www.kingarthurbaking.com/recipes/oatmeal-cream-pie-bars-recipe
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S5E3: B-L-A-U-R-G-H
Spoiler alert! Jackie is feeling happier🎉 I put a party popper moji in there but idk if that will translate correctly to the apps so just pretend like it’s there if you don’t see it or if there’s a weird little square. Jill is trying to be healthier!! It’s going medium! 🎉 Also deserves a p-pop moj if I do say so myself. Medium is better than bad and not as good as well. Thoughts and prayers to Jackie first and Jill later on their quests for life better-ness plz and thx.
For real we shared some extra sweetness on this episode and we hope you all enjoy it and get to find some extra sweetness in your lives too, wherever you can. Thanks for being a friend!
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S5E2: Electric Boogaloo
Jackie got sick but now she feels better, Jill’s a little chilly so she’s wearing a sweater. Okay so I guess it’s more like a sweatshirt, but that’s not the point let’s teach Jackie how to flirt! If you want to know about fast food slogans you’ll listen to Fetch A Pail (and NOT Joe Rogan).
We are having so much fun getting back into the swing of recording the show and would love to hear from you, our lovely loyal listeners. How you all be doin? What do you like to hear about on the show? Email us or hit us up on dat ‘gram yo.
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S5E1.5: When Deez
*Join Jackie and Jill as they transverse life’s greatest foibles! Expect to hear Jackie talking about some possible new relation“flips” while Jill has IBS (Irresistible Booty Shorts). Will our dynamic duo find the answers to life’s biggest Qs? All of that and more on today’s episode of the Joe Rogan Experience.
*Disclaimer: Jill outsourced the show notes this week and let us tell ya, you get what you pay for. Fetch a Pail does not condone or support the production or consumption of any post News Radio Joe Rogan content.
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S5E1: Qontent Cueens
2023, amirite? We may have been off the podwaves for over a year according to Jackie (and calendars) but we never stopped recording in our hearts! Jackie and Jill are teasing their way into some kind of semi normal recording schedule and are so excited to be back at it! Please enjoy this tasty little morsel and keep your ears’ tastebuds salivating for more to come soon!
Thanks for being a friend
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S4E1: Banackie
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S3E11: Occasional Friends
I mean, you’ve been waiting long enough. No need to waste time reading about the episode. *Does deep sultry voice* Just dive on in, the water’s fine .
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S3E10: Everything’s Coming Up Jackie
Jackie had a pretty good Birthday and a decent Halloween but a fully trash-ass few days in between. Luckily we waited long enough to record this episode that she has recovered from her terrible horrible no good very bad weekend and everything in her life is somehow even more fabulous than usual! About 20 minutes in, Jackie does some accidental foreshadowing regarding her propensity to say offensive shit, so don’t say you weren’t warned! Jill is doing really exciting stuff like still not volunteering, doing puzzles and baking sometimes. Be sure to stick around after the Cork Bork if you wanna know what we’ve been putting inside us! It’s funny because it sounds like sex things but it’s just food. Get it?
Modified Dolls
Washington State: https://www.facebook.com/wamodifieddolls/
https://www.instagram.com/wamodifieddolls/?hl=en
International: https://themodifieddolls.wordpress.com/
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S3E9: Gerber Barker
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S3E8: Nothing Noodles
After an unplanned hiatus (THANKS COVID) your fav Fappers have returned! This episode has everything: Pinball, gay weddings, and cake pops. Not to mention very cool and hip obsessions (Jill) and several foods that are maybe actually just water (Jackie).
Musical Mondays
https://www.improvbroadway.com/musicalmonday.html
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kHm_0On9O5s
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S3E7: Dingledore
Jill is house sitting for (friend-of-the-show) her brother and his internet is just two snails yelling into tin cans. That means slow. She also has a cardboard cut from a Philadelphia Cream Cheese (not an ad) container on her left thumb as well as a paper cut from a Bank of America (not an ad) credit card envelope on her right index finger both of which transpired in the last 24 hours and yet HERE SHE SITS, typing for your pleasure. Okay for her pleasure because when Jackie texts her later to say the show notes were chef’s kiss it’s going to give her a lot of pride, a sense of accomplishment and a little tickle to the ole shego. See what I did there? We’re all ladies here, right? It doesn’t matter. The show notes are being written before the episode has been reviewed or edited because it’s taking 5 ever to download the audio and it’s already been over a week since the episode was recorded! Get over it!!
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S3E6: 540 Nose Grind Kickflip
The one where Jill learns that “kickflip” is one word and not two. Jackie catches us up on the twists and turns of her dating life and Jill can only relate everything to an episode of Star Trek but tbh that’s growth for her because she used to relate everything to an episode of Friends (stares at the first sentence of these notes). Yes she knows that Friends is problematic (we’re looking at you Fat Monica) it’s called cognitive dissonance, people! Jackie hits the jack(ie)pot at Groce Out whilst Jill avoids the grocery store like the plague, ya know because of how there is one and no one cares anymore?
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S3E5: Bears Aren't Real
On this shorty Jackie takes her sweet time getting to the good stuff, Jill rebrands Science, Bitch! and both of your hosts make a lot of jokes about official pinball points (WPPRs - pronounced "whoppers") being different kinds of candy and/or fast food items. Short ep, short notes!
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S3E4: Mono-Mites
Welp, I wrote the show notes but don't know how to use a Mac Book and accidentally went back instead of scrolling down and then the notes were gone and along with them my willingness to write any! Okay I'll try just a little. Join us this week for Jill's tales of nasty animal business as well as yucky Starby's bevs but more importantly for a personal Queer Qorner from Jackie with juicy juicers about her current dating sitch. THIS PODCAST IS NOT ABOUT US. #prayforkaren
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S3E3: A Ji-Ackie Weekend
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S3E2: Pills for My Nervitus
Jackie is traveling out of county to rob locals of their pinball trophies while Jill remains steadfast in her commitment to do nothing and go nowhere. This episode your gals are obsessed with many forms of media and putting all kinds of delicious things inside them. Jackie is still mad at Jill for correcting her pronunciation of “Andouille” so she’s putting Jill back in her place as the pleb she is by bringing it with the music and art recs. Jill counters with mention of a French salad and makes up some ground. It’s a tight race and the only way to know who comes out on top is to listen to every episode of Fetch a Pail AND to tell all your friends to do the same!
Eleanor Rykener
https://www.instagram.com/eleanor.rykener/
Jill’s Salad Nicoise
https://www.instagram.com/p/CfVSoYorKW80776dKJ36hkhwkqbhq1SUyce_2Y0/
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S3E1: We Came Back!
Jackie and Jill are Back(y) and Still… talking about stuff! After a relaxing and productive half year hiatus Fetch a Pail is back with new episodes, hopefully a few of you never got around to unsubscribing and are very excited to see us?
We recorded this episode 2 days before the Supreme Court (of the US) officially overturned Roe v Wade leaving it up to the states to decide whether or not safe abortions will be legal and available - spoiler alert a bunch of states immediately enacted restrictions, criminal penalties and outright bans. Our hearts break for every person with a uterus in these states who are no longer federally protected and we are grateful to live in Washington and California, both of which have our backs (at least for now). Everything feels heavy today, and though we’ve joked a lot about the dystopian hellscape we are living in over the last few years it seems like every day that passes it is less of a dramatization and more of a literal fact about our reality.
We’re not sure if it’s good or correct to post a frivolous episode of a silly time podcast today, but we started this podcasts in the depths of lockdown, Trump’s America and early waves of the deadlier stages of the pandemic and we continue to believe people deserve nice things and joy especially in times like these so we hope you agree and enjoy the escape. With love and solidarity
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S3E0.5: Oops! All Intros
S2E6: Jill's Birthday Episode!
Bwehhh-bweh-bweh-bwehh!! JILL’S BDAY EPISODE! Jackie has had an amazing couple of weeks once again and nothing terrible happened to any of her windshields when it was raining. Jill actually did have an amazing birthday weekend and maybe had a nice time before that too but tends to not remember well more than 3-4 days in the past. Catch up with us and then stick around for the Cork Bork, Queer Qorner, a listener powered FAP Check, all of the other segments (we don’t skip any anymore!!) and a very special game that was truly one of the best gifts Jill has ever received. Don’t forget to email your questions to us and if you’re listening on Spotify send us a voice memo or ask us a question there!
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S2E5: Bad Bond Brosnan
Wee-woo-wee-woo-wee-woo NEW FORMAT ALERT! It’s mostly all the same old s-h-i-t that you know (and we assume love) but there’s even more of it! New segments, new takes on old segments, YOU NAME IT! Actually we named it. Or them I guess. Anyway it turns out after 2 weeks your fav cutie pie hosty babes have lots to catch up on and one or more of them may have watched too many movies. Cakes were both made and thrown out, dips were both made and eaten and then both of those over again! Jackie teaches Jill at least 2 new phrases and Jill gets no less than 1 of Jackie’s Tik-Tok references. So, that’s pretty impressive I think.
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S2E4: I Put That Inside Me
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S2E3: Sham2: Rude Orca
S2E2: Jackie's Birthday Episode!
S2E1: Dancey Time Club Town
Noise Monsters
To gain access to the show notes for this episode, please make a donation below. -Jackie
Jackie’s FFS GoFundMe
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Solid Brick Of Substance
Lil shorty action comin at ya this week, but what we lack in run time we make up for in actually good content so you’re welcome! Jackie is living her best basic b word life via the Starby’s PSL and Jill is trying to do more hobbies and succeeding medium-ly. Your gals ponder if the success of PSL is contingent upon its novelty, or if it would be more profitable to offer it year round. Same question regarding other LTOs at popular fast food type restaurants. No Science or FAP Check this week but we’ve got a wonderful Queer Qorner, Obsessions and a little Whatchya Watchin action. Short ep = short notes aka shnotes
Caiylf
We recorded 2 days later than usual because on Tuesday at noon Jill was certain she was going to feel amazing after work and go to the hardware store and go grocery shopping. Instead she and her boyfriend both got migraines and she laid in bed and watched Real Housewives of Salt Lake City for 7 hours but she didn’t talk about it on the episode because Jackie is very rude about reality television shows. Anyway something exploded in Jackie’s caiylf and on the Bay Bridge which made for a real astrology is somehow to blame for this bad luck type of day. Despite this Jackie is in good spirits and has been doing well (that’s our fav) and despite things being basically fine for Jill she still found plenty to complain about (classic!) The second half of the show is packed full of (most of) the best segments including actual questions from REAL listeners! Shout out to Melanie and Nardo, you da real mvps.
Jackie’s FFS GoFundMe
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Trash Gifts
Well, Jill’s back from vacation and she’s just as sleepy and cranky as ever after several mishaps including but not limited to bad times sleeping while camping. Jackie thinks Jill should just be better at camping, and to be fair she is not wrong. Jackie has mostly been getting ready for her upcoming surgery, but she’s also been talking to BOYS on the INTERNET! No Science this week but we got a great question from a real person who definitely listens to the show, although no one wrote in with names for Jill’s vagina… Anyway we have plenty of Obsessions, Queer Qorner and movies to make up for it!
Jackie’s FFS GoFundMe
Scary Music Video
The Woman Inside - The Golden Tree directed by Bart Hess
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JaymesBondJr
This low energy ep is brought to you by a harrowing day of laser hair removal followed by a big beer and a tummy load of sushi. Tummy load sounds like a poop thing or a mouth sex thing, but it just means enough food to fill your tummy so get your head out the gutter already! Anyway the sleepy vibe is co-sponsored by Jill’s tumble down the hill (wow I see what you did there) when she was attempting to be a good grown up and do terrible chores that she hates. Okay that’s it the notes are over now.
**No new episode next week, Jill is on vacation and will be out of town so Jackie’s taking the week off as well. Next episode should drop August 12th-ish.
Jackie’s FFS GoFundMe
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Shawtay
Jackie’s FFS GoFundMe
gofund.me/8fd3d021
Placeholder for other link I forgot
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Sharp Water
Last week Jill was mostly down for the count but still manages to talk about all the nothing she did for at least several minutes. Jackie is busy planning for her big surgery and trip to visit friends at the end of the summer but at least she doesn’t have to deal with that high maintenance dog anymore! This week’s listener question has us laughing our ASSES off (do you get it? Oh probably not yet because you haven’t listened to it. It’ll make sense, it’s a great joke) and Jackie comes at us with the Science! Plus a teenie tiny FAP Check, a couple FAP Check express(es?), Obsessies, Queer Qorner and Movies!
Sohla El-Waylly - Succotash Pot Pie
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ol9GfFrg8w
I’m in me mum’s car
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Schrödinger's Nipple
It’s back to school, b words! After a long (short), relaxing (very busy and somewhat stressful) summer vacation (one week hiatus from recording) your favorite gal pals (two people you listen to sometimes) are back and better than ever (except not better than episodes 32, 35 or 39 - probably). Actually, this episode is really good. There’s some real talk and some feels talk and a very powerful weekly obsession segment (spoiler alert - not Jill’s) that is heavy and important. Jackie has been playing a lot of video games and generally having a swell time doing it whilst Jill has been sweating and crying and generally being a whiny little baby. Don’t worry, she approved that description! Anyway she’s working on it. Enjoy a little extra catchin up plus Cork Bork, FAP Check, Double the Science (double the fun) and Queer Qorner of qourse.
Arielle Twist
Disintegrate/Dissociate (non-Bezos)
Disintegrate/Dissociate (Bezos)
Sexy Beast Trailer (honestly, yikes) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJO5m6EFL6A
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Soupes Coumf
Join us for this week’s mystical adventure from Dog Psychics to the life hack of your DREAMS (that involves eggs). Jackie has been a real lucky b word the last couple of weeks and would appreciate some pennies thrown into wishing wells and four leaf clover discoveries on her behalf to avoid the impending changing of tides. Really the only thing you’ll learn about Jill this week is that she’s a real whiny baby when it gets hot. It was only like 79 today and she’s fully wrecked. Something else gets wrecked (Jackie’s b hole) but you’ll have to stick around past the Cork Bork to find out why. Jill finally watched Bo Burnham’s gosh dang Netflix special and only has 36 viewings to go to get on Jackie’s level. The second half is missing some of the usual segments but don’t worry it still slaps. Can you say that about stuff that isn’t songs? I’m gonna! We didn’t have any listener questions this week which is technically your fault but we also forgot to mention the questions email address again so I guess just click the link in the dang show notes already!! Considering the questionable nature of this content, I bet you can think of something *winky face emoji*
Jackie’s Virus
https://www.tiktok.com/@jvck13tv/video/6975261802342993158
The other Tik-Tok video we explained in detail
https://www.tiktok.com/@saint.josie/video/6976302382594477317
ATK Hard “Boiled” Eggs
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Tea-yness™
Sometimes an episode really speaks for itself and you don’t even need notes about it. Is this one of those episodes? You tell me. I mean yes, it’s very good and needs no introduction. It’s packed full of all of your favorite segments (except your actual favorite segment we skipped that one this week). Anyway you’re only reading these to get the link to Jackie’s TikTok so without further adieu-
Jackie’s TikTok
https://www.tiktok.com/@jvck13tv
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Barbershop Skydiving
Once again your hosts find themselves trapped and confused in a temporal anomaly and lack the necessary tools to free themselves. After a week of Jackie’s insides falling out her butt she’s back and feeling better than ever! Jill seems to have used her AirPod microphone instead of her studio mic, so that’s not ideal and she is sorry but Jackie’s not worried about it so neither should you be. After catching up on the latest, Jackie proves once and for all that she is the best at answering listener questions (like that was up for debate) and Jill wastes everyone’s time talking about the new season of the Bachelorette. Plus a teenie tiny FAP Check, a personal Queer Qorner, a brief Science, Bitch! that is weirdly specific to one of Jill’s obscure (but not interesting) pastimes. Plus movies and a tinder profile with a twist!
Jackie’s Twitch Channel
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Little Umbrellas
*ASMR whispers* For this week’s episode, we invite you to light a candle, run a bath or snuggle up by the fire, pour a glass of something warm or bubbly (probably not both, piping hot Dr. Pepper is not recommended) and just lean back and relax. Starting at the top of your head and working your way slowly down your body, untense your muscles and imagine a warm, bright wave radiating through you inch by inch until it reaches your toes. Take a deep breath from your diaphragm, hold it for a moment, and then exhale. Now you’re ready to melt into the soothing sounds of your favorite podcasters on a super chill low energy day. If you came for laughs, you won’t be disappointed, but also you might be. Jill literally had a therapeutic massage a few hours before recording and never quite recovered from the sleepy jelly state where it left her. Also Jackie thinks sleepyjelly™ is a good Instagram handle but don’t take it it’s trademarked now ™ ™ ™ After being released from Poor Prison and then locking herself back up, Jackie introduces us to a brand new segment that even has its own theme song! Plus a listener question, a FAP Check Section, current obsessions AND more.
Amolë
Saint Josie - Inheritance
https://open.spotify.com/track/0AGzMl9TZk67VW5Hx2Oxk6?si=e28d8d890d6141d1
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Hotdog Linguine
What. An. Episode. To be honest, it’s a bit of a whirlwind but it felt like in a good way so don’t worry too much about it. Jackie has learned that money CAN buy happiness or at the very least not money can buy not happiness. Or more like not money can by nothing and that’s boring? Jill has been feeling all overwhelmed by things opening up and getting back to semi normal and trying to get her job done and also make and keep plans so she’s taking a mid-week one day-cation and is PUMPED about it. She also forgot to mention it’s her brother and friend of the show Jeff’s birthday tomorrow. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEFF all we got you was a surprising and embarrassing transition to the Cork Board! Apparently yelp reviews are dead (RIP RUN) but we have all the best segments left over even if Jill only picked her obsession one second in advance and even if the new segment is more upsetting than funny! Listener emails are on fleek this week (I brought it back for the rhyme don’t @me) and at some point Jackie invents a new word but does not provide the definition so as to force listeners to come back next week. I think that might be entrapment, but I don’t know what entrapment is. Don’t correct me though just let me have this one.
Jackie’s Twitch Channel
Olympic Foraged Crafts (Maker of Jill’s fav herbal tea)
https://instagram.com/olympicforagedcrafts
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DNAnish
Oh crap dang it they recorded on Monday again so everything feels different, plus Jackie is MAD! She says it like how a cute baby would say it but really she actually is pretty mad. *sings to the tune of It’s My Party by Lesley Gore* You would be too if it happened toooo youuuuuu. We should talk more about that song and how it had a sequel on the same album. Can you even think of any other songs that have sequels? Another time. Jill is doing normal pre-pandemic type things like making plans and then not even cancelling them! Who even is she? This week’s Cork Bork is oh-so-special with an expert guest brought in to compete with Jill in what can only be described as “a game, technically” and to tell us all about his work compiling resources for the LGBTQ+ community in little bb Kitsap County where Jill lives (and where Jackie grew up). On the back nine (that’s what Jill just decided to call the part of the show after the Cork Board, it’s a golf reference - keep up!) Jackie learns something brand new and definitely super endearing about his co-host of 6 months and friend of more than 15 years. It might not be the best episode ever (it’s well documented that #32 holds that title) but it’s honestly very good. If you agree, slap 5 stars on us - won’t you?
Nils’ LGBTQ+ Non-Prof info
https://www.rainbowcrewnw.org/ https://instagram.com/rainbowcrewnw?igshid=a1wgcfh8o5kx
F9 Trailer 2
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fEE4RO-_jug
How Did This Get Made breakdown of F9 Trailer 2 https://open.spotify.com/episode/7pDDLxdUPHZ3uFucVQIcnA?si=R4BR5X9EQhanSPryTBJnJQ
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Maj Groan
If you’re looking for the perfect podcast episode, look no further… than last week’s episode. If you’re looking for something pretty good that you haven’t listened to yet, then you’ve found it! Jackie ate nice food and drank nice drinks and now she remembers that is an expensive thing to do. Jill let other people cook for her because she still doesn’t believe in spending money. Something confusing happened and Jackie isn’t obsessed with anything and Jill is obsessed with everything now I guess. This week Jill managed to connect with the listeners via Instagram and proved definitively that she’s allowed to do whatever she wants when recording videos of herself including but not limited to gazing directly into the camera. Obsessions is a little sciency, Queer Qorner and FAP Check exist, albeit briefly, and Jill is getting really good at Yelp reviews. At some point Jackie and Jill become sisters and unrelatedly try to high five via two separate video recordings. Is that a cool thing to do?
That guy from that boy band’s new video:
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She Shoes
Happy Thursday, lovely listeners! What are our listeners even called...Fappers? Lol good one, Jill. Jackie and Jill are both in good spirits this week after very successful (though wildly different) weekend activities. Jackie debuts she/her as a new pronoun option and despite her best efforts remains firmly un-cancelled. Jill put in a few extra hours for the man and also worked overtime this weekend. Somehow that’s supposed to be a joke about her brother being “the man” because she babysat her nephew but whomever is writing this couldn’t figure out quite how to execute that attempt and is leaving you with this wordy explanation instead. Who would do that? Jill learns a new word (trepanning) and gives a fragmented and some might say incoherent report on it for Science, Bitch! even though she literally read about it for a full hour and had comprehensive notes. Queer Qorner is Quick because white people get enough press as it is and Jackie comes through with the assist after Jill leaves a very important FAP in the bag during the FAP Check. Plus, obsessions! Movies! And other stuff!
Article written by the woman who had a voluntary trepanation performed in 1996
https://www.independent.co.uk/arts-entertainment/health-the-hole-story-of-my-life-1601605.html
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Napwell TM
This week Jill tries to say that she’s pretty nice gal number one when everyone knows if there were assigned numbers Jackie would be #1. Jackie has so much fun news about big and little changes and just general merriment. Jill enjoyed a lovely little birthday get together for mom and friend of the show Allisa Ner and then also had a bunch of moody sad girl moments which made her question her hormonal birth control choices. Speaking of questionable choices Cork Bork presents us with a real head scratcher of a listener question. Jill is just obsessed with Jackie this week and Jackie is obsessed with a BOOK! We don’t believe in science anymore and Jackie definitely didn’t watch a movie, but we’ve got some FAPs to check and reviews to… well, review I guess. You’re gonna love it!
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Spathe
Episode 30 of Fetch a Pail, or Episode 1 of Two Pretty Nice Gals?! That doesn’t make sense to you? Oops better download and listen to this episode. Maybe listen to it twice! Just for fun. One time for each gal? Anyway, Jill got the vaccine and is en route to maximum immunity which is coincidentally her new superhero name. Her friends call her Max now. Jackie’s friends, however, call them Spathe. It’s a full lineup this week with Cork Bork listener Mail, Science Bitch Express, Current Obsessions, Queer Qorner and three other things which seems like a lot but it’s the normal amount. Welcome to all our new listeners and to all the old timers - thanks for stickin around!
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One Lump Of Charpane
Show notes are short this week because someone is a poor planner (spoiler alert it ain’t Jackie, they are an amazing planner as mentioned in this episode probably). Anyway I’m calling them Showrt Notes. This week’s episode has a lot of fun jokes, and a few more serious moments. As Allisa Ner would say, “We laughed, we cried, we’re emotionally spent.” We hope you enjoy the ride!
If you like us, maybe give us 5 stars! And tell your friends about us, we want to make them laugh too.
Homemade Mayo https://youtu.be/9TnIeYc2CWU Tuna Melt https://youtu.be/CfnlQFTmbsY
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Bucky And The Bird
Holy downloads, Batman! Thank you for dedicating some of the storage on your mobile devices to us TWO THOUSAND TIMES!!! We’re not worthy *Wayne’s World bow* Actually, we are worthy! Keep the bow but scratch the insincere humbleness, we think we’re awesome and we are grateful that you seem to agree
Weep If The Tears Will Come
The show notes writer has a migraine so instead of the amazing, hilarious and insightful pre-recap… precap? to which you’ve become accustomed, you’re going to get a short essay about Season 6 of Love Island UK. First of all, Shaughna - you’re a fierce bitch and you can do better than Callum. Secondly, why are there so many Scaffolders in ye ole England? Somehow this show is simultaneously the trashiest nonsense I’ve ever seen AND like sweet and genuine and ha- okay well I was rudely interrupted by the ghost of Abe Lincoln so I just want to congratulate Paige and Finn for being an official boyf/girlf sitch (I’m on episode 24 of 36 so don’t tell me if they break up I can’t handle it right now) and with that I’m going to bed.
Just listen to this episode because it is very good and it is not about Love Island!
Love Always,
Jill
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The New Zealand Hotdog Award
First of all we’d like to say thanks to our “sponsor” 24 Hour Fitness for freezing Jackie’s membership and giving them all the months they purchased now that gyms are open again. Also, YOU’RE WELCOME to our sponsor for their thousands of new members as soon as this episode drops. Jill did the opposite of going to the gym which is apparently watching The Godzilla: The King of The Monsters or whatever it’s called, ya know the one with the very rude 3-headed dragon. Jackie tries to out-science the science bitch herself and, well frankly, succeeds. Jill better step her shit up or she’s gonna lose her title. It comes with one of those big gold belts like when wrestlers win… well titles I guess. But it has a picture of like a test tube and a beaker embossed on it and maybe like an explosion in the background BANG! She would prefer to keep the belt!! Jackie asks Jill a very thoughtful baking question, plus Queer Qorner, Review Stars, FAP Check and Current Obsesh’s of course.
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Horny For Cheese
It’s the Quarter Quell, bitches! Or maybe a less murdery reference to something that happens every 25 years (episodes). We can finally rent a car!!! Is that better? Anyway, wow what a wild ride. Episode 25 features a sober Jackie who always says every word and phrase correctly on the first try, and an emotionally stable Jill who talks about a science thing and then is thinking “...wait, was that even science? What does buying clothes have to do with science?” for the whole rest of the episode and then realizes while she’s writing the show notes that it’s about the environmental impact of fast fashion which definitely IS science but she also definitely did NOT say any of that during the segment. Anyway we hear the jury’s still out on science (an Arrested Development reference that feels less funny now because people actually seem to not think science is a thing or important or real) and the jury is definitely still out on Daylight Saving(s) Time. Does that tell you what the episode is about? Okay, byeeeee!
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Ends Meat
Another week of technical difficulties that Jill was about to blame on Mercury’s backwards ass but it turns out Retrograde ended on 2/20 so what’s our dang excuse?! Anyway after last week’s lost episode Jackie and Jill were very careful and even recorded backups! Then our audio recorder did weird robot things to Jackie’s track and their backup failed so we are sorry for the audio quality which is not up to our usual standard but we are thankful that we at least have a show for you this week and hope it doesn’t detract too much because this was a fun one! Jackie is mad at everyone but Jill and doesn’t mind because they solo vibin these days. Jill is an emotional (and physical tbh) wreck but since talking to Jackie is her fav you can barely even tell. Stick around til after the Cork Bork to hear Queer Qorner, Current Obsessions, FAP check and the return of Pseudo-Science, Bitch! Actually the astrology comes early, but it’s fine - you don’t care.
Leggings Review Photo
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Water Pockets
This week’s episode was recorded in a different space time once again and your hosts are feelin it. And tastin it. It tastes orange. Anyway, Jackie talks about a questionably executed redecorating project and Jill can barely handle the stress of it, but snitches get stitches so she’s cool, she swears! The FAP check prompts another sport cut length tangent about fake nails and takes us right on in to Queer Qorner, Pseudo-Science, Bitch! and 5M to name a few. Plus Yelp Stars and Current Obsessions to name them all.
This American Life - What Lies Beneath
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/this-american-life/id201671138?i=1000509025507
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X-Philes
This week Jackie decides brownies are out and boozy strawberries dipped in a buncha candy are in. Also Walgreens Pizzas are out and Sprouts are back in. Jill reminisces about the simpler times when people (her parents) just did stuff for her so she could have fun. The Boomers asked, and Jackie answers - what’s the scoop with POS? A complete stranger who definitely does not share a bed with either of the hosts sends in a great question and really all you need to know about it is fish. Also Queer Qorner, a FAP check that might as well be sponsored by the Wachowskis and the return of Jackie’s new favorite segment: Pseudo-Science, Bitch! Plus other segments, probably!
Santana’s Podcast Episode
https://open.spotify.com/episode/0FQet5bSA3zXFVlAhx1ren?si=yIPq2Hw1TGyoZJpIWAAZww
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