The Vibrant Introvert

What does it mean to “be yourself” when you’re learning a new language and living in a new culture? Some of us find it hard to do even in our own language!

Think back to a moment when you first made a decision to do something.

Maybe it was to have kids. Maybe it was to go back to school. Maybe it was to start a business.  Whatever that decision was, think about where you are now versus where you were then. And between now and then, there is time, and distance. There is this journey, so to speak.

And on this journey, there have been experiences, memories made, emotions felt, mistakes, successes, surprises…maybe even odd coincidence here and there that kept you on that path. Whatever ended up happening between that decision and where you are now, I bet you could not have predicted the journey…and how it would play out. We never know how any one decision will go…right?

And, yet, you do it anyways. Even with that bit of uncertainty. You do it anyway. Maybe it’s a burning passion, or a clear mission, or maybe just a spark of an idea that you can’t imagine NOT pursuing.

You have a calling. This decision, this goal, it calls to you.

In the latest episode of The Vibrant Introvert Podcast, our storyteller is Marcus Harrison Green, a man from South Seattle. He is also a writer, publisher, and founder of a local new source, The South Seattle Emerald.

Several years ago, after trying out an unfulfilling career in finance, Marcus trekked back to his hometown of Seattle. From there, he pursued his passion for writing. In his story he tells us about how this passion led him on a  journey to start a publication—a publication that would become the South Seattle Emerald. All he had was a decision—the decision to start on his journey…and from there, the adventure began.

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In the latest episode of The Vibrant Introvert Podcast, our storyteller is Marcus Harrison Green, a man from South Seattle. He is also a writer, publisher, and founder of a local new source, The South Seattle Emerald.

Several years ago, after trying out an unfulfilling career in finance, Marcus trekked back to his hometown of Seattle. From there, he pursued his passion for writing. In his story he tells us about how this passion led him on a  journey to start a publication—a publication that would become the South Seattle Emerald. All he had was a decision—the decision to start on his journey…and from there, the adventure began.

Like many moments leading up to this, I want to call out how this is the moment where the skills of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy can be so helpful.

This is the moment where one can pause, recognize current discomforts, choose to be willing to experience them because moving through discomfort is aligned with a set of deeply held values, and make a commitment to act despite the difficulties of changing course. If done with a mix of values and good timing, changing course can be incredibly liberating.

Listen to the episode and find out what is next for Marcus…and how he is choosing to take a path uncertain for a life well-lived

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What happens when everything that can go wrong, goes wrong?

You do what other people would do. You try harder, you freak out, you grieve the loss of what you expected to have, and you may even get to the point of giving up.

But, what happens in this space of giving up…even for the briefest of moments?

Something magical can happen.

I invite you to join me on this journey, full of lots of twists and turns, of deep emotion, of experiencing cultural bias, of loss, of grief, of determination, of experiencing deep spiritual healing.

Our storyteller, Narissa Harris, is a licensed marriage and family therapist. In her work she runs a small private practice and spends most of her professional career providing trainings, workshops, consultations, and writings to help others increase their cultural awareness particularly when working within the African-American community. Narissa prides herself on using a real, direct, and unapologetic approach, while also creating safety and trust.

So, today I am sharing the epic journey of this amazing woman’s struggle with infertility, with miscarriage, and how losing hope was exactly what she needed in order to be open to a spiritual journey that would lead her right back to what she was looking for in the first place…her Faith.

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Find me on: 

Our storyteller, Diana Hill, dealt with discomfort as a mother…in a few different ways. Diana is an ACT-based psychologist, a mom, a fellow podcaster, and author. Diana shares how she experienced a colicky baby and the many discomforts that it came with…and learned how to form a new relationship with the crying, with the discomfort, with her son, and with her past grief. See how she made space for discomfort and how that little bit of space changed everything.

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Our storyteller, Lauryn Elder, shares her experience as a former professional dancer…and a person who basically grew up in a dance studio. At some point she eventually realized the tremendously positive and impactful ways in which the dancing world shaped her behaviors from the inside out…including her experience with orthorexia.

As you listen, I invite you to consider how the environment sets the stage for behavior change, how behavior operates in context, and how it is shaped over time. A little later on, we will dig a little deeper into behavior function—or in other words, how our behavior patterns serve a purpose but may not necessarily always serve us or our values.

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Here’s my big question for you: why is it so much easier to show compassion for someone else than it is to show it to yourself?

Today our storyteller, Katelyn Kendrick, who I talked to way back in February when I was still pregnant…is going to share their very personal journey, one that involves her growing up as a super feeler in an addicted home, how they experienced trauma both in the home and outside of it, and how that impacted their ability to see herself and treat herself with compassion. In their story they will talk about how Acceptance and Commitment Therapy taught her how to take perspective on her story and how that has slowly shaped not only an understanding of their life and trauma, but an even stronger sense of who she is and what she wants to be about.

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TRIGGER WARNING: In this story, I want to mention that Brian will talk about suicide…I want to recognize that this is a sensitive topic. If you experience any thoughts of harming yourself, or know someone who does, please seek help.

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Today, you will hear the story of Brian Middleton, a behavior analyst and fellow podcaster. He describes himself as autistic and someone who has a very tender heart. He shares how his experience of being autistic has shaped his early memories and ability to process the world around him…later on, his increased ability to communicate started him on the path of relating to himself and others in more complex ways, and how this new ability to relate also open the door toward that universal experience of suffering.

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What could it look like if you were sleeping better?

A lot of us out there, will sacrifice sleep in order to get something done. In order to have some alone time, down time, Netflix time, or maybe we’re taking care of a hungry, crying baby.

Whatever your barrier for achieving a good nights’ sleep, you’re not wrong. You’re just responding to a need you might have in your life, and your behavior around sleep is therefore rationale and logical because you’re simply responding to your surroundings. And in the short-term, this might work for you…but what about the long term? Does sacrificing sleep work for you in the long term? And, what impacts does that lack of sleep have on your mental health? 
Today we are going to explore sleep, behavior, and a mental health condition that is not often talked about: postpartum anxiety. Our guest, Hilary McClinton, is a behavior analyst and sleep specialist who has her own story about anxiety…and how all of this is a product of her context as mom to child with sleeping difficulties, and a product of her own sleep deprivation.

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In this episode I talk to fellow introvert Summer Mingo. We talk about how we’ve learned to not only come “out” of our shells but to grow into them.

I relate our experience to that of a hermit crab. It’s shell might be mistaken as any other shell, but it is uniquely the environment, the context in which the hermit crab resides.

We all have our own space and, own context by which we are living our life right now. You too have an experience that is  different from anyone else's, and different from what it looks like 5 or 10 years ago. Your shell is your life, right now.

And, like the hermit crab, one day you will outgrow that shell in search for a new shell, some new career opportunity or some new relationship or new passion you want to pursue...whatever that new space looks like for you it will be different somehow and it might represent a new challenge, a space that you will have to grow into.

Together, Summer and I explore what it means to grow into that space, how that journey will also be one of discovering what it means to live authentically, and what that actually means for deep-thinking, highly sensitive introverts.

Summer shares some amazing insights into how she has grown in her ability to connect & make friendships, how she shows up on social media, and how she prepares to show up to new situations as a leader. Join us as we explore  what it means to lean into that discomfort and grow toward authenticity.

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This bonus episode is all about my journey toward a VBAC (vaginal birth after Caesarean) and natural birth. There is real audio from the beginning to end of my labor experience so hopefully you can feel like you are there, experiencing it alongside me. This is also the last episode of the podcast formerly titled “ACT-Inspired Behavior.” After this episode, I will publish episodes for season 2 under a new name, title “The Vibrant Introvert.” Listen to hear more about it!

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About the episode:

Have you ever done something…scary?  What was it and what made it so scary? Was it physically difficult, or emotionally difficult, or both? Did it fill you with fear as you prepared to do it?

But here’s the most important question. Why was it worth it?

For me, I experienced 3 very scary things in the last few months, all of which I’m going to tell you about right now. In the first part of this episode I’m going to tell you all about that first scary thing—the recent birth of my 2nd child. You’ll get to hear about my many fears, the ways I navigated the fear, and why it was worth doing. In the last part of the episode, you’ll hear about two other gigantically scary things I’m doing in my life and how they relate back to this same experience of giving birth.

In my journey toward wanting a VBAC—or a vaginal birth after cesarean, I definitely experienced this series of committed actions. And, believe me, my commitment to this goal was tested and almost broken.

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If you are interested in reaching out and telling your story, would like to join our monthly group called ACT Collective, or receive 1:1 individualized support & guidance on your own personal journey check out my service, Coaching for Vibrant Introverts which specializes in serving those with anxiety and social anxiety. You find me on

Have you ever been put in a situation where you were forced to do something that didn’t ring true to you? Perhaps it was something your parent asked you to do. Perhaps it was a new rule at work…or something you felt pressured to do because of your friends?

When someone tells you to do something that is extremely outside of your deepest desires, how do you respond to that? Do you go along with it happily? Probably not. And everyone has their own ways of reacting to it. Sometimes you might find yourself reacting in an equally opposite way, resisting the pull of someone else’s desires for you.

This is a struggle that our guest, Chauntae Gold, a BCBA and nutrition coach has shared about her early upbringings, and how that impacted her into adulthood. Chauntae describes how she was raised in a very strict evangelical home and how her resistance to follow the many rules and expectations of the household resulted in her feeling isolated and different, so incredibly far from her own desires, how this eventually led her to another extreme…all with the desire to just be normal, to connect with friends outside of her church.

The metaphor that we talk about today is about “being in a trap” and how we resist being in the trap because it is our instinct to escape it. Listen to her story and see if you can relate and how the trap itself, might lead us straight into another kind of trap…

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In this episode I talk about an upcoming change for my business and my podcast. This change will match the changing of seasons for me in my personal life. First, this will be the final episode of the podcast season. In th next season I will plan to shift my focus to telling the real stories of folks who self-identify as introverts and who may experience anxiety or social anxiety through the lens of Acceptance & Commitment Therapy. In this work, I hope to empower and uplift the voices of people who are not normally in the spotlight and who aren't normally volunteering to speak up. However, hearing their stories is incredibly important. Because, there are simply a lot out there who can relate.

I also let folks know about my coaching practice, Vibrant Introverts, and how I will be talking more about that in the next season of my business.

Finally, I share that I will have an in-between season bonus episode where I plan to share a very personal story…and you will have to wait to find out what kind of story that will be!

Find me on Instagram @actinspiredbehavior

Find me on my website: actinspiredbehavior.com

Or email me at gabbie@actinspiredbehaviorcoaching.com

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More about our guest: Chauntae Gold is a Board Certified Behavior Analyst, nutrition coach, and entrepenuer. If you are interested in working with Chauntae find her on:

Instagram @thepathtogold

I was once told that in one lifetime, you can have many different experiences, many different careers. You can live many lives in one life. I LOVE this message so much…this statement has really given me the freedom to choose, to change, to go where my heart and my compass leads me.

And I would say that this mindset describes my own career path—I’ve switched career paths several times now and each of these experiences have only made my ability to adapt greater, my perspective that much richer…but the transition and the change itself never really gets easier, per se.

Greg Bodin, an ACT-based psychotherapist in San Francisco and our guest today, went through a major career change in his early 30’s…though he was encouraged by everyone around him, who were certain of his ability to become a therapist…he admits that he was hijacked by thoughts about his ability to be excellent in his work with clients…thoughts like, “I’m going to mess this up.” “I’m so not good at this.” “It’s so hard.” Thoughts characterized by this label or this greater story of being an imposter.

Today Greg is going to share that story and the many ways in which he has responded to this imposter narrative, as well as some really helpful tools that he uses to navigate these thoughts…that, admittedly, still pop up from time to time. Listen to his story and see how you might relate to it in your own way…perhaps as you consider a role change, job change, or even a career change. See if you can recognize your own internal experiences and ways in which you respond to them.

During the episode we talk about the metaphor of a Chinese finger trap and how this can parallel the struggle between you and your thoughts. For Greg the finger trap represented his struggle with the imposter line of thinking. As you listen, ask yourself, have you ever struggled with imposter syndrome? What is your finger trap struggle right now professionally or personally?

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Ok, let’s play a little game.

What is the first thing you think of when you think of the word…”stress?” For me it’s…the word… “tightness”… or the phrase, “too much on my plate.” Or the image of my son Matthew screaming at me at 6AM in the morning because he doesn’t “always want to put on new underwear!” It’s that time I didn’t finish a report until the night before, staying up late to get it done. It’s this memory I have sitting in church, waiting to read a story to the congregation and dropping my mic on the floor…It’s that time Matthew almost ran out into traffic just before then I grabbed his arm and reprimanded him too harshly in public. My shaking body as I hugged him tightly. It’s all the experiences connected back to the words, “conflict” and “busy” and “mistakes” and “being late.”

For our guest, Martha Smith, it’s the word “childhood.” As you will hear she has a relationship with stress, and a unique one at that. I really love all the ways in which Martha relates back to the word stress in her story—a story that starts early on in life and continues today.

As you listen, think about how stress might not have even been a word she’d use to describe her experience when she was young—an experience of constant vigilance and being on guard for the next stressful situation to come to pass…but it is now. Think to yourself, how did stress and the experience that comes with it impact Martha, how did it shape the internalized messages that led her down this path of perfectionism, and how her responses, behaviors, and actions changed over time, in a way that is truer to who she wants to be?

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At the beginning of this episode I talk about an upcoming webinar called "Values-Driven Self-Care." In this webinar Jessica Zielske, another behavior analyst, and I talk to you about stress, the role it plays in our lives, and how we can reframe stress so that self-care is more than a reaction...it's an intentional way to live our values.

Join us on Monday, March 22nd at 4PM ET, or 7PM PT.

Do you ever look at other people’s family and wonder, how the hell do they get along so well? They look so happy. They seem to get along…I bet they go on skiing holidays and wear matching sweaters.

And then, do you compare them to your family?

I’ve caught myself thinking: “If only they would change…then we’d finally get along.”

I’d hazard to say that this line of thinking is common because… I’ve thought it a time or two.

And this type of thinking that your mind loves to indulge in, can become this lovely chain in which one thought can trigger another thought that is then the antecedent for another thought or memory or feeling, that then leads down a (sometimes rather dark and twisty) rabbit hole. But, if I am to trace it all back I can usually pinpoint some conflict I’m anticipating, or some memory of a disastrous family gathering, or to a larger, more engrained family conflict…one that seems never-ending.

Tayler Gowan, a social worker and anxiety coach, shares her story today about her longstanding conflict with her father …and how that relationship changed and morphed over the years.

In her story Tayler talks about the stress that came up for her in responding to conflict between her and her dad, and the various solutions she came up with to address it. Listen to how her emotional responses changed, as well as the ways she responded in order to reduce the conflict.

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At the beginning of this episode I talk about an upcoming webinar called "Values-Driven Self-Care." In this webinar Jessica Zielske, another behavior analyst, and I talk to you about stress, the role it plays in our lives, and how we can reframe stress so that self-care is more than a reaction...it's an intentional way to live our values.

Join us on Monday, March 22nd at 4PM ET, or 7PM PT.

Register for this webinar on my website www.actinspiredbehavior.com

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My guest, Tayler Gowan, has a B.S in Psychology and uses Acceptance and Commitment Therapy as a Health Services Research Specialist and Vitality Coach. In both careers, she works closely with people who are feeling anxious, overwhelmed, stressed, or stuck and help them to more effectively move forward in life with a sense of meaning, satisfaction, and fulfillment. 

See if you can guess what movie I’m referring to…Bill Murray is asleep in bed, covers pulled up to his chin and then the camera pans to the alarm clock. The clock’s number flips from 5:59 to 6:00 AM. And then the radio starts to play.

“So put your little hand in mine, there ain’t no hill or mountain we can’t climb…Babe…I got you Babe…I got you Babe…."

This scene plays out again and again and again throughout the entire movie. Because, it’s Groundhog Day. And, unfortunately, for Bill Murray, the day repeats itself over and over and over again. There’s no changing it. There’s no response he can make that will move him forward in time. He’s. Just. Stuck.

This is the movie that Courtney Bilton so very much relates to…She’s a mom of 2 young children, who last year around this time was preparing to return from her second year-long maternity leave. And, as you know, this was the same time last year when the pandemic hit causing everything in her life and everything in YOURS to pause. 

This repeating of the same exact day as described in this movie, there is basically no better way for this movie to have come to life…to have oddly become true in a way.

Perhaps you are a parent and can relate to this sense of monotony, of repeating the same day or the same scenarios over and over again—regardless of a pandemic and quantarine. But regardless of your personal situation I ask you: in this continual sameness, where do you find value? How do you make meaning of it all?

That’s what we’ll explore today. As parents or as people stuck in quarantine or as a person stuck in a rut that feels like Groundhog Day…I’m sure there is some part of this that you can relate to you. Hopefully it will spark a new response to it all, causing you to stop and take stock of your values.

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At the beginning of this episode I talk about an upcoming webinar called "Values-Driven Self-Care." In this webinar Jessica Zielske, another behavior analyst, and I talk to you about stress, the role it plays in our lives, and how we can reframe stress so that self-care is more than a reaction...it's an intentional way to live our values. 

Join us on Monday, March 22nd at 4PM ET, or 7PM PT. 

Register for this webinar on my website actinspiredbehavior.com

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My guest, Courtney Bilton, is a board certified behavior analyst from Ontario Canada. Follow her on:

@biltonbehaviour on IG 

Do you know that feeling of standing in the ocean, waves at your feet, & the constant coming and going of waves? Imagine yourself, even for a second…standing in the water, your eyes closed, feeling the sensations of those waves.

Sometimes the waves come with regularity…and, every once in a while, notice how they are more forceful at times, and then unexpectedly gentle. Our guest today, Mari Cerda, shares a difficult story…the loss of a loved one. She shares how her experience was much like the experience of standing in the ocean, feeling wave after wave of grief.

This metaphor translates to our universal experience of emotions. That, much like the ebb and flow of the tide, emotions come and go. Sometimes they are predictable and sometimes they crash upon you with sudden force…knocking you off your feet. Mari described her grief this way…and the grief that has continued through the years.

I want to say, before you listen, that Mari will share her story about losing her first husband to suicide. I want to recognize the sensitivity and difficulty of this conversation with those who have recently experienced loss or who are otherwise not ready to listen to this. If that is you, please give yourself grace and listen when you are ready.

We also touch on the topic of acceptance—acceptance of this constant ebb and flow of emotions—and how we can experience acceptance in a way that validates the emotion without being swept up and completely carried away by them.

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Here is a question for you. If you don’t like your personality, can you change it? Today is all about how we see ourselves…and fighting against parts of ourselves that seem… unchangeable.

Maybe there are parts of your personality or ways in which you move around in the world that you’ve changed. But maybe there are also remnants of that way of being that have largely stayed the same.

This part of you, the part that never changes, is what we will talk about today. Later in the episode my guest Joanna Burbury, a clinical psychologist in London, and I will chat about this concept—it’s called the observer self. We also discuss ways in which our struggles with social anxiety have shaped our young lives and how we no longer feel defined by these thoughts and labels but…that it is still a part of our current experience.

As you listen, think about the ways in which you describe your own personality—whether it be introverted, extroverted or a combination of both. See how these labels have shaped your perception of yourself and your ways of moving around in the world. And then, perhaps you will discover that that part of you…it really is a context of your environment and a fluid ever-changing experience.

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In this episode I answer the question "What was hard this year and how do I hope onto hope?" It's a question that was first posed to me by another behavior analyst, Jessica Zielske, who had invited me onto an Instagram live talk with 7 other behavior analysts. 

In answering this question, I talked about where I started last year--pregnant and hopeful for the future--and go from there. I talk about the struggles I had personally and professionally, how COVID changed my plans for the future, and then I bring it all back to this question; how do you hold onto hope...when things get hard? And, what is hope anyway? Is there a kind of hope that brings us closer to the life we want or simply away from what's hard? 

***Please be aware that I talk about a miscarriage in this episode. If this is a topic that you find difficult to listen to, please practice self-compassion and skip this episode for now until you're ready to hear it in full.***