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Homeopathic ASMR

Homeopathic ASMR

By Dan Lew

ASMR, repeatedly and thoroughly diluted.
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Uploading the final episode of your joke podcast
Uploading the final episode of your joke podcast
Thanks for listening!
12:25
June 22, 2022
Demolishing a building next to a full-blast jet engine during an earthquake near an erupting volcano
Demolishing a building next to a full-blast jet engine during an earthquake near an erupting volcano
SORRY, CAN YOU SAY THAT AGAIN? IT'S A LITTLE LOUD HERE.
32:13
June 15, 2022
Failing to get the hint from the person you're unsuccessfully flirting with
Failing to get the hint from the person you're unsuccessfully flirting with
So let me tell you about this podcast I make, it's called homeopathic ASMR. Oh, you don't know what homeopathy is? Or ASMR? I'm sure you will want to know, let me explain...
21:24
June 08, 2022
Farting
Farting
Fwwwwwt
05:13
June 01, 2022
Watching the latest Marvel movie at home
Watching the latest Marvel movie at home
I'm sure THIS is the one that will actually be good
02:10:25
May 18, 2022
Waiting in line at the grocery store
Waiting in line at the grocery store
Ugh picked the wrong line again.
04:35
May 11, 2022
Contemplating the far flung future
Contemplating the far flung future
Does any of this matter if none of this will exist trillions of years from now?
21:25
May 04, 2022
House fires that ruin a recording of a podcast episode
House fires that ruin a recording of a podcast episode
The smoke alarms really ruin the ambience of this recording
43:25
April 27, 2022
Thinking of new episode ideas
Thinking of new episode ideas
There are only so many things that produce sound in the world, it's hard to find the next thing that makes noise.
09:53
April 20, 2022
Sitting through yet another tantrum from your toddler
Sitting through yet another tantrum from your toddler
...........sigh..........
32:15
April 13, 2022
Refreshing a page so you can be the first to buy the hot new item
Refreshing a page so you can be the first to buy the hot new item
Scalpers are ruining everything; I have to buy five just to recoup the cost of one!
16:06
April 06, 2022
Counting the number of listeners to your niche podcast
Counting the number of listeners to your niche podcast
I'm gonna need ALL my hands
00:10
March 30, 2022
Folding laundry poorly
Folding laundry poorly
Fitted sheets, what the heck do you do with these
12:25
March 23, 2022
Dropping rose petals on a bed
Dropping rose petals on a bed
ASMR after dark
09:32
March 16, 2022
Constructing a LEGO bonsai tree
Constructing a LEGO bonsai tree
Sometimes you just have to reconnect with your childhood by buying expensive toys, just like your parents used to do.
41:02
March 09, 2022
Practicing piano
Practicing piano
Dun dun dun DUNNNNNNN
05:25
March 02, 2022
Cracking eggs to make omelets
Cracking eggs to make omelets
You've gotta crack a few eggs if you want to make a hit podcast.
03:24
February 23, 2022
Cleaning up after hosting a party
Cleaning up after hosting a party
Beer. Wine. Chips. Hor d'oeuvres. Paper towels. Stains.
19:22
February 16, 2022
Snoring
Snoring
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
15:25
February 09, 2022
Cleaning a mechanical keyboard by taking every key off, polishing it, then placing it back on
Cleaning a mechanical keyboard by taking every key off, polishing it, then placing it back on
I really have to stop snacking at the computer. :/
33:13
February 02, 2022
Walking through freshly fallen snow
Walking through freshly fallen snow
Schwunk. Schwunk. Schwunk. Schwunk. Schwunk. Schwunk. Schwunk. Schwunk. Schwunk. Schwunk. 
24:39
January 26, 2022
Debating whether to bid on an item on eBay
Debating whether to bid on an item on eBay
Should you try to snipe it, or just set it to your max value? How much will it hurt if you lose it?
06:33
January 19, 2022
Failing to get your toddler to eat vegetables
Failing to get your toddler to eat vegetables
You need your toddler to be fed or they'll meltdown soon, but if they don't eat healthy then you have failed as a parent. What do you do?
11:25
January 12, 2022
Doomscrolling Twitter
Doomscrolling Twitter
It's late, bedtime mode has already made your screen black and white, yet you can't stop.
25:32
January 05, 2022
That gurgling noise the stomach makes when digesting
That gurgling noise the stomach makes when digesting
I ate too much over the holidays, then recorded it.
17:34
December 29, 2021
Ignoring a morning alarm clock
Ignoring a morning alarm clock
Mgdhd... zzhfmff... meefffplahh...
10:00
December 22, 2021
Chuckling while reading a funny book
Chuckling while reading a funny book
Ho ho ho, this person was hypnotized to think he was a chicken...
11:49
December 15, 2021
Singing 99 bottles of beer on the wall
Singing 99 bottles of beer on the wall
No one has actually sung this all the way through right? Well, wrong, here we go.
33:56
December 08, 2021
Playing charades with strangers
Playing charades with strangers
[Hand gestures]
25:13
December 01, 2021
Researching the best microwave to buy on the internet
Researching the best microwave to buy on the internet
Did you know that they are all basically the same thing? Wirecutter looked into it and it must be true because they are Wirecutter. I wonder what Consumer Reports has to say. Is this random reddit poster full of it or speaking the truth? Hrm...
13:43
November 24, 2021
Finding a lost wallet at the mall
Finding a lost wallet at the mall
Best to find the owner and return it to them, maybe they will give you reward money in appreciation.
13:54
November 17, 2021
Missing so many notes in Guitar Hero that the audience boos
Missing so many notes in Guitar Hero that the audience boos
The controller is broken and this game is garbage.
04:01
November 10, 2021
Voting for a 3rd party candidate
Voting for a 3rd party candidate
Vote.
19:53
November 03, 2021
Thinking
Thinking
It's like "the thinker", the statue, but in podcast form, and much quieter.
16:23
October 27, 2021
Squeezing orange juice by hand
Squeezing orange juice by hand
This would be a lot easier if I used a machine.
12:58
October 20, 2021
Unboxing a new iPhone
Unboxing a new iPhone
Don't get too excited, it's only a refurb.
13:16
October 13, 2021
Turning the pages of a book
Turning the pages of a book
Fwip. Fwip. Fwip. Fwip. Fwip. Fwip. Fwip. Fwip. Fwip. Fwip. Fwip. Fwip.
18:12
October 06, 2021
Riding an exercise bike a little too hard
Riding an exercise bike a little too hard
I know that I shouldn't have eaten that cheesecake but maybe I can squint and imagine that the little-c calories on the bike actually mean big-C Calories.
15:25
September 29, 2021
Putting on pants
Putting on pants
It took a while, these belt loops are really tricky, sorry
12:26
September 22, 2021
Reading a book aloud to a small child
Reading a book aloud to a small child
I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them Sam-I-Am.
17:53
September 15, 2021
Shouting at the void
Shouting at the void
Who hasn't done this from time to time?
16:13
September 08, 2021
Rock concert
Rock concert
It's your favorite band, and you won tickets by being the 53rd caller!
15:54
September 01, 2021
Reticulating splines
Reticulating splines
I'm not even sure what this means, but someone wanted this, so here.
14:26
August 25, 2021
Sitting around a campfire
Sitting around a campfire
The logs were too wet and so it was hard to get them lit, but in the end, it was all worth it
09:59
August 18, 2021
Solving a 5x5 rubik's cube
Solving a 5x5 rubik's cube
I'm working on my speed cubing and a podcast at the same time
19:13
August 11, 2021
Computer fan noise under high load
Computer fan noise under high load
Are you playing a game? Or rendering a video?
13:12
August 04, 2021
Loud snoring
Loud snoring
Snoring usually keeps you up, but in homeopathic ASMR land, it will put you to sleep.
11:10
July 28, 2021
Waves
Waves
What kind of waves were recorded? Does it even matter?
19:04
July 21, 2021
Eating a pizza
Eating a pizza
What's a more spine-tingling sensation than eating a pizza? Eating a pizza, recording it, then diluting it to nothing.
12:42
July 14, 2021
Whispering
Whispering
What is being whispered? Maybe you can tell?
15:22
July 07, 2021
Grass growing
Grass growing
Recorded in my backyard, then diluted 1000x.
18:54
June 30, 2021