Are you here to be entertained?
By John Dow
When I first began writing as John Dow, I always thought of it like I was speaking. And it was ironic, I didn't want to entertain with my words, I was just responding to words that had prompted us. So now we can put it back into the correct form.
I write for leisure, and mostly to destress. Some topics are, school in Singapore, gardening and cooking, politics too, but mainly my thoughts of the day.
Are you here to be entertained?Nov 23, 2022
Unknowingly eating slagroom truffels,
This post is also available as a blogpost: https://areyouhereforentertainment.wordpress.com/2023/05/20/unknowingly-eating-slagroom-truffels/
This was planned and written as a gift.
Group-travelling in Leiden
This episode is also available as a blogpost:
https://areyouhereforentertainment.wordpress.com/2023/05/16/group-travelling-in-leiden/
Recorded separately, like the previous one, so you must forgive the tone which changes in the three segments. I also blame the can of peach fizz.
Six days in Leiden
This episode is also available as a blog post:
https://areyouhereforentertainment.wordpress.com/2023/05/11/day-2-in-leiden/
The thought that if we didn’t say something
If I could convert into pixels,
When I was six,
For a long while I had thought
I sat on this recording for a while, and indeed, it really is the process of letting go and moving on from that difficult year.
This episode is also available as a blog post: https://areyouhereforentertainment.wordpress.com/2023/01/23/for-a-long-while-i-had-thought/
“Let us not suffer.”
Today as I record this, I am almost ready to face these people. At least, I think I am. For my co-counsel, I think I could manage a smile that touches my eyes and speaks of sadness and no fondness. And for the labelled, I think I could manage a smile that conveys respect and caution. And for those that I love, I am ready now to convey the same stability and love that I want to be able to give.
Let us not suffer in silence.
This episode is also available as a blog post: https://areyouhereforentertainment.wordpress.com/2022/11/23/let-us-not-suffer/
At 4 am in the morning in London,
In many ways, I should have recorded these and posted them on each of the days that I wrote them. That the emotions on each day had been real for me, and that now, in the middle of processing them, there is a quality of mutedness that I wish was not there. That I could not convey how much I loved and how much I hurt in each word.
But as I had drafted these lines on paper in our home when we were in London, I was soaking in my own emotions. That someone on the team had found my post it, and folded it up completely. Now, reflecting on them, I know how badly I hurt but do not relieve that same trauma again.
This episode is also available as a blog post: https://areyouhereforentertainment.wordpress.com/2022/11/09/at-4-am-in-the-morning-in-london/
A bundle of contradictions
I wrote this knowing I would read it, wondering if I would be able to send it. I don't think I will be able to, but nevertheless, this was the emotion I had. That I have and I am still trying to swallow.
This episode is also available as a blog post: https://areyouhereforentertainment.wordpress.com/2022/09/26/a-bundle-of-contradictions/
The sunlight streaming into this room,
You are not a machine with broken parts,
Half her face hidden in those voluminous sleeves,
All the things
I was told that love is something that
This episode is also available as a blog post: https://areyouhereforentertainment.wordpress.com/2022/07/10/i-was-told-that-love-is-something-that/
The second post I picked. This is one of the emotions I have been better able to process. My own discomfort.
Dear Mr Ng,
This episode is also available as a blog post: https://areyouhereforentertainment.wordpress.com/2020/03/15/dear-mr-ng/
It was the first episode I recorded audio for, and it's still difficult to do so. I surprised myself with how hard it was to get through this post, but also because this post has so many things that I regretted not saying.