Relationship Psych | Love | Marriage | Conflict | Psychology |
By Amber Dalsin
Are you tired of conflict? Do you dream of a secure and peaceful relationship?
Welcome to Relationship Psych, The Podcast.
The goal is to teach you to create a strong and connected relationship, that withstands the test of time.
Each week I share stories, practical strategies, and have inspiring conversations with guests to help you get and keep the relationship you and your partner dream of. Let's find out how to avoid relationship disaster and become relationship masters.
Relationship Psych | Love | Marriage | Conflict | Psychology |Feb 28, 2023
122. 4 sticking points to overcome to be a better communicator
If you and your partner want to improve your communication in 2024, here are 4 common sticking points that you will need to overcome.
January is a time of New Year resolutions, commitments to do better, and learning something new.
Here are 4 things to consider if you and your partner want to improve your communication in 2024.
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
121. Questions to ask yourself if you’re not sure your relationship is for you with Alexandra Schelling
If you are wondering if you and your partner are compatible, or if you should break up, Alexandra has questions to consider to help you decide if you want to continue in your relationship.
This podcast is for educational purposes only.
120. Compatiblity in Long Term Relationships
If you are looking for a sustainable, long-term relationship, this is the episode for you. Dr. Gottman reviews how to find safety and security in a love relationship.
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
119. Satisfaction in long term relationships with Dr. Jennifer Guttman
If you are looking for a sustainable, long-term relationship, this is the episode for you. Dr. Gottman reviews how to find safety and security in a love relationship.
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
118. Sleep and a Happy Relationship
After being sleep-deprived, I was reminded about how important sleep is to a happy, healthy and harmonious relationship.
At risk of sharing overly simplistic suggestions, in this podcast we are talking about the importance of good sleep hygiene and the impact on a relationship.
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
117. Healing Mind Body Concerns with Tanner Murtagh and Anne Hampson
Tanner and Anne found themselves disconnected and hopeless as Tanner struggled with chronic pain. In this episode, they share how Tanner healed from his pain, and how their relationship healed too. Both Social Workers, Tanner and Anne share a unique perspective how pain impacts not only the person suffering but also the relationship.
In this episode we cover:
- Relationship healing
- Structural pain vs. somatic pain
- Mind-body concerns
- How understanding led to healing
- Communication as a couple
- Overcoming hardship as a couple
Website: https://www.painpsychotherapy.ca/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/painpsychotherapy/
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
116. Why is my partner defensive and how to change it
Have you tried to raise an issue to your partner and rather than hear you, they whine, make excuses, or worse – they turn the issue on you?
Maybe you are the person who responds in these ways, and you don’t know why you do this.
In this podcast I will cover the common reasons people are defensive, and how to overcome it.
In this podcast we discuss:
- 5 reasons people are defensive
- The role of criticism
- What to do if you’re defensive
- Tools to change defensiveness
- Tools to decrease the chances your partner is defensive
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
115. The Connection between Sexual Arousal and Imagination with Gina Gutierrez
If you want to reignite the spark in your sex life, and gain a practical tool to keep your sexual pilot light on, check out this episode with Gina Gutierrez.
In this episode we discuss:
- The link between imagination and arousal
- Responsive vs spontaneous sexual desire
- Scheduling sex and spontaneous sex
- How “shoulds” can get in the way of a fulfilling sex life
- The role of fantasy in sex
Link for the 30 day free trial to Dipsea: https://www.dipseastories.com/PSYCH or click here.
Dipsea website: https://www.dipseastories.com/
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
114. Avoid the Gottmans’ 4 Horsemen and Save your Relationship
Do you and your partner struggle to communicate? Have you ever experienced…
- Things you thought were small issues turn into a blowout fight.
- Your partner tells you they feel criticized.
- You see your partner walk away in conflict and it makes you upset.
- You’re unsure what is going wrong and why you are fighting so much with the person you love.
In this episode, we are going to cover what Drs. John and Julie Gottman studied relationships and identified what they call the Four Horsemen of conflict discussions. When these communications styles make up the majority of interactions, the relationship breaks down. When couples come to me for communication issues, most of the time these four communication patterns are dominating their communication and their relationship.
https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/communication-cures
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
113. Being Intentionally Selfish with Naketa Ren Thigpen
This authentic conversation about struggles, triumphs and the courage to be selfish with herself left me compelled to be more vulnerable and braver in so many areas of my life.
If you are looking for a story about overcoming incredible odds to overcome challenges, breaking multi-generational cycles and healing this is the podcast for you.
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
112. 2 ways to improve emotional connection in your relationship
Yesterday I sat down at the dinner table with my husband, and we ate in silence. We were both tired, it had been a long day, and I thought “what if this is what our relationship was like?”. I would probably feel lonely, disconnected, and bored.
I can imagine over a series of silent dinner eating, I might feel like we are drifting apart. Or I might even get mad on the inside that he wasn’t talking to me (even though I could have initiated the dialogue).
I have clients tell me that at first the silence was like an ache in their chest, but over time the ache hardened into awall. They stopped caring that they weren’t connected, instead they built a wall between them and their partner and shut down their emotional connection.
If you have had many moments in silence, are feeling disconnected, and want to rekindle the connection between you and your partner, here are some practical tools to help you do that.
1. Use conversation starters to help you have great connections.
2. Think/talk about what is going right.
We have gone over two tools to help improve your emotional connection. Look, you can’t start and keep a fire going without fuel and a spark. In your relationship, you need a spark of willingness to take action, and the fuel is both partners engaging repeatedly in actions/beliefs that will fuel the relationship.
Connection isn’t a one-and-done process. It needs to be consistently worked on over the course of the relationship to keep the connection alive.
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
111. Assess Your Instincts and Improve Your Relationship with Dr. Veronica Anderson
The episode is a deep dive into how understanding your instincts (and your partners, too) can help you increase connection and reduce conflict in your relationship.
In this episode we discuss:
- Different types of instincts
- Your spiritual makeup
- Energetic systems
- The different ways people take action
- How a deeper understanding of yourself can improve your relationship
Website: drveronica.com
Relationship Mistake Quiz: https://quiz.drveronica.com/sf/4187cf4e
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
110. Healing through Connection with Dr Glenn & Phyllis Hill
If you and your partner have felt disconnected, are getting stuck on conflict, or just want to rekindle the spark in your relationship, this episode is for you.
Dr Glenn & Phyllis Hill cover how to use the Connection Codes framework to help couples connect emotionally, and even overcome conflict in as little as 4 minutes.
Core Emotional Wheel Freebie Click here. https://www.connectioncodes.co/amber
Discount code: amber20
Book The Connection Codes click here
Website click here https://www.connectioncodes.co/
Dr. Glenn & Phyllis Hill spent the first 30 years of their marriage living in disconnect. Their first sexual experience sent them into years of avoidance and pain. Dr. Glenn was so determined to find out what went wrong that he went back to school & became a Marriage & Family Therapist and a Clinical Sexologist. But, it wasn't until he dug deep into emotional regulation where he discovered the source of all of their disconnect. From there, Dr Glenn & Phyllis created The Connection Codes which is a framework to help couples connect emotionally and physically using their 4-minute tool.
Now, they are authors, speakers, and have Connection Coders in over 50 countries who are living in peace in their relationships.
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
109. 6 Ways to Become a Better Listener
After working as a couple’s therapist for the last 10+ years, I know that one of the hardest skills to master in a relationship is listening. And as a person, I too can be guilt of being a poor listener. Maybe I pick up my phone when someone is talking, jump in when someone is talking and tell them a related story about myself before they are done, or try to solve my partner's (or friend’s problem), when they haven’t asked for advice.
This podcast is all about gaining the skills to help you become a better listener. That way you can increase connection with your partner, help them feel seen and heard, and feel more like you are tackling issues as a team.
Here are 6 skills you can practice to become a better listener.
1. Demonstrate you’re listening
2. Be mindful of your face
3. Accept the speakers perspective as valid
4. Express support as you listen
5. Ask open-ended questions
6. Ask if they want problem-solving or just to share
Click here to get the Emotional Validation Cheat Sheet
https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/emotional-validation-cheat-sheet
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
108. Recovering from Stress with Dr. Doni Wilson
Discovery how stress can impact your relationship and how you can calm your stress.
In this podcast we discuss the role of stress in the body, how to take care of yourself, and simple activities to promote stress recovery.
Dr. Doni Wilson is a Naturopathic Doctor, certified professional midwife, certified nutrition specialist, and bestselling author of Master Your Stress, Reset Your Health. For more than 22 years, she has helped thousands of patients overcome health challenges and achieve wellness by using specific strategies that address the whole body and ultimately resolve the underlying causes of distress. Dr. Doni suffered from migraines for over 20 years, and in the process of solving them, she developed her Stress Recovery Protocol. Dr. Doni brings awareness to the impact of stress on our health and how it is possible to recover from burnout and become resilient to stress in the media and at public and professional events. You can find her blog, podcast, called How Humans Heal, and her Self C.A.R.E.TM program at DoctorDoni.com.
Dr. Doni Wilson’s website: DoctorDoni.com
Podcast: How Humans Heal
107. How to Make Your Relationship Happier with Ricky Arenson
If you aren’t feeling as loved, appreciated, or valued as you would like in your relationship this episode is for you.
In this episode, Ricky talks about how to make people feel valued and happy, what it takes to feel more like a team, and what makes relationships work.
Book women are superior to men: https://drrickyarenson.com/book/
Website: https://drrickyarenson.com/
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
106. Creating Intimacy in Relationships with Alexandra Stockwell, M.D.
If you and your partner are feeling more like roommates than lovers, and you want to reconnect, listen to this podcast.
In this podcast, we discuss how to talk so that your partner wants to meet your needs, how to create uncompromising intimacy in your relationship, and what gets in the way of being physically intimate in relationships.
Alexandra Stockwell’s website: https://www.alexandrastockwell.com/
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
105. How to handle jealousy in a relationship with Dr. Joli Hamilton
Whether you are in a monogamous relationship or an open relationship, you might have struggled with jealousy at some point. If you are like many of us, this isn’t an emotion you have a lot of experience handling.
Luckily, in this episode, Dr. Joli Hamilton educates us on dealing with jealousy in a relationship. We discuss the concept of compersion and how to cultivate it.
Dr. Joli Hamilton’s website https://www.jolihamilton.com/
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
104. 3 Essential Skills for Managing Conflict
Have you ever wished to be heard, that you felt safe to bring up difficult topics, or maybe you just wanted you and your partner to be good role models for your kids when it comes to how to fight?
If you have, this episode is for you.
In this episode, we cover a sensitive topic that comes up in relationships. We cover 3 essential skills for managing conflict.
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
103. Breaking Intergenerational Cycles with Kara Hoppe
Have you ever found yourself behaving in the same way as one of your parents? Or Maybe you find yourself acting as if you are back in your family home even though you are a grown adult who has created a life of their own?
If you relate to either of these, this podcast is all about breaking cycles and living with intention.
In this podcast we discuss:
- What cycles are
- How to become aware of your patterns
- How to collaborate with your partner
- How agreements can help you and your partner make changes
- How win-win solutions can help
- Why expressing needs are important
Kara’s website: https://www.karahoppe.com/
Baby Bomb Book: https://www.karahoppe.com/the-book
Kara Hoppe, MA, MFT, is a psychotherapist, teacher, feminist, and mother. She has spent more than a decade as an inclusive therapist working with individuals and couples toward healing and growing, and toward becoming grounded, integrated people with better access to their own instincts, wisdom, and creativity. Hoppe also offers virtual retreats for parents and expectant couples, based on her book Baby Bomb: A Relationship Survival Guide for New Parents, a 2021 INDIES finalist. Her work has been featured in The Atlantic, Parents Magazine, Fatherly, and YourTango, among other publications. She lives with her husband and two children in Pioneertown, CA, and sees clients in private practice via telehealth.
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
102. How bids for connection can create a deeper relationship
If you’ve ever felt like your relationship is lacking connection, you feel ignored, or your partner dismisses you, this podcast is for you. In this episode, we talk about what a bid for connection is, and how understanding them and turning towards them can create emotional intimacy, connection, and increase relationship satisfaction.
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
101. The Power of Healing in Groups with Tanya Cole-Lesnick
If you’ve wondered if you're loveable, if there is something about you others wouldn’t like, or if you were vulnerable others wouldn’t like you, this episode is for you.
In this episode:
· Tanya shares how she overcame her limiting beliefs, and how that lead to finding her husband
· How to find alignment in your life
· How to let go of energetic clutter
· The power of group therapy
· How group therapy helps
Tanya’s website: https://www.tanyacole-lesnick.com/
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
100. What’s beneath the conflict with Figs O’Sullivan
If you are struggling with conflict in your relationship Figs provide insight into how couples get into fights, and how come it’s hard to get out of the conflict.
Topics covered in the podcast:
- Couples conflict
- Changing from a me vs. you to us vs. the problem
- Raw feelings that lie beneath the conflicts
- Attachment
- Wounds in relationships
To learn more about Figs:
www.Empathi.com
Link for course: empathi.com/psych
To get the course: Create an empathi.com account and visit to redeem our flagship Conflict Solution course, free of charge
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
99. New Parents & Partnership – Tips for Healthy a Relationship with Kara Hoppe
Having a new bundle of joy is truly a delight for many, but it also comes with predicted and unexpected challenges. Between navigating feedings, sleep schedules, diaper changes and showering yourself, you are left to navigate the relationship with your new baby and your partner.
In this podcast we discuss:
● Common challenges new parents face
● How come parenting issues can be so hot
● How to get in touch with your needs
● How to express your needs
● What attachment is
● Attachment Styles
● Secure Functioning
● Tips for connection with your partner
Link to the book Baby Bomb https://www.karahoppe.com/the-book
Link to Kara’s Website: https://www.karahoppe.com/
Kara’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/karahoppe/
Link to ep 79: Attachment Styles and Building a Happy Relationship with Stan Tatkin https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/79-attachment-styles-and-building-a-happy/id1412479463?i=1000557392696
About Kara Hoppe, MA, MFT: She is a psychotherapist, teacher, feminist, and mother. She has spent more than a decade as an inclusive therapist working with individuals and couples toward healing and growing, and toward becoming grounded, integrated people with better access to their own instincts, wisdom, and creativity. Hoppe also offers virtual retreats for parents and expectant couples, based on her book Baby Bomb: A Relationship Survival Guide for New Parents, a 2021 INDIES finalist. Her work has been featured in The Atlantic, Parents Magazine, Fatherly, and YourTango, among other publications. She lives with her husband and two children in Pioneertown, CA, and sees clients in private practice via telehealth.
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
98. Fondness and Admiration: Secrets to Emotionally Intimate Relationships
Have you ever thought, I want to feel
· Liked
· Loved
· Respected
· Cherished
· Appreciated
If you answered yes, you are wanting to strengthen or maintain your relationship fondness and admiration system. In Gottman and Silver’s 1999 book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work they outline one of the 7 pillars is the fondness and admiration system.
In this podcast we cover:
· What the fondness and admiration system is
· Why the fondness and admiration system is so important
· Why contempt isn’t helpful in relationships
· How to strengthen your fondness and admiration system
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
97. Attachment – The Anxious Avoidant Trap + How to Get Out of It with Nicole Walker
In this episode we talk about:
· What the anxious-avoidant trap is
· How to get out of the anxious-avoidant trap
· What attachment is
· What attachment styles are
· Fears that underly different attachment styles
· Examples of protest behaviors
· How to start to change your patterns
· How and why to advocate for your needs
Where to find Nicole
Website: renovateyourrelationships.com/
Instagram: www.instagram.com/the practice of peace/
Nicole’s attachment workbook: www.thepracticeofpeace.com/hey-instagram
@renoyourrelationships
Amber’s Free Guide: Attachment Styles 101 www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/attachment-styles-101
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
96. 6 Steps for Healing After a Fight
In this podcast, we talk about
· Ways to increase the chances you will talk about your fight without fighting again
· That you can both be right
· Listening to the reasonable part of what your partner is saying
· Managing triggers
· Avoiding destructive communication
· Apologising
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
95. An Exploration of Non-monogamy and Open Relationships with Rachel Wright
- How Rachel came to understand her sexuality
- Things to consider when looking for a therapist open to non-monogamy
- Navigating feelings of jealousy, fomo and fear of doing something wrong
- Tips to help with how to think about non-monogamy
- Books suggested are The Ethical Slut and Polysecure
- Questions to Ask Yourself
o In your past, have you ever felt romantic love for more than one person at the same time?
o How do you define the word commitment?
o What do I want in my romantic and or sexual life? Am I open to multiple romantic relationships? Am I open to multiple sexual relationships? Do I want those to overlap? If I want more than 1 partner, what degree of closeness and intimacy do I want in those relationships?
o Have I ever felt the desire to explore a relationship more freely?
o If you are in a romantic relationship, is your desire for other relationships coming from dissatisfaction or lack of happiness in your current relationship, or because you want the and, because you want to explore more?
- The difference between being dissatisfied in a relationship and wanting to open your relationship, and wanting to open your relationship because you want more
Rachel Wright Website: rachelwrightnyc.com/
Instagram: www.instagram.com/thewright_rachel/@thewright_rachel
This episode is for informational purposes only.
94. 6 Examples of Helpful Relationship Actions from Love is Blind Season 3
I have been obsessed with Love is Blind. Reality TV about Love is my jam. I think I work with couples because I love love… so this show tugs at every heartstring.
It is easy to point out things they have done wrong, you don’t need to be a couples therapist to watch and go “ooooofffff bad move”. And if you’re struggling to understand some of the moments that maybe could have gone different, just go on Instagram and look at the memes…
In this episode we are looking at 6 moments that went right.
THERE ARE LOVE IS BLIND SPOILERS in this episode.
This episode is for informational purposes only.
93. Why Sleep Is Important with Terry Cralle
In this episode, we look at how sleep deprivation and poor sleep health could be negatively impacting everything from your relationship to weight loss.
We look at how to improve your overall functioning and relationship through sleep.
We cover:
· Conditions for your bedroom to sleep better
· How much sleep do you need
· The relationship between sleep and illness
· The relationship between sleep and weight loss
· The impact of sleep on your relationship
Terry’s website: https://terrycrallern.com/
This episode is for informational purposes only.
92. 5 Tools to Help You Survive a Long-Distance Relationship
Long distance is hard.
· You are lonely.
· You do miss each other.
· You fight over silly things because you miss each other and you’re sensitive.
· You have different expectations for how connection looks, texting, phone calls, and what your in-person time should be like.
I get it, my husband and I dated long-distance for 14 months. We would fight about things like:
· The appropriate amount of time it takes to text back
· When to schedule longer calls
· How often we should talk on the phone
· Who should come see who and when
· What our time should look like we when actually saw each other.
These months were some of my loneliest, but when I saw him, it was often exhilarating.
Here are some tips that helped.
1. Discuss your expectations around contact.
2. Build rituals of connection for contact.
3. Strategize around what your time together will look like and how often you will see each other.
4. Build a social circle for yourself.
5. Acceptance, life on life’s terms.
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
91. Women’s Sexuality and Changes Over the Lifespan with Jessica Elizabeth Cole
Has your sex drive changed over time? Maybe menopause is making you feel different in your body and your sexuality has shifted. If you want a new way to think about sexuality and how it changes over the lifespan, this is the podcast for you.
In this podcast we cover:
● Ways women’s sexuality changes over the lifespan
● Ways hormones and menopause impact sex drive
● The difference between reactive desire and spontaneous desire
● How to change your sex life to match your stage of life
Jessica Elizabeth Cole is a psychotherapist specializing in sexuality and relationship issues, including out-of-control sexual behaviors and betrayal trauma. She practices in New York City, focusing her work on rebuilding relational trust and sexual expression after traumatic and/or significant life changes.
Contact 917-282-3270
Email Jessica.e.cole@gmail.com
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
90. Why Couples Fight
I would like to feel more connected to my partner
I want to feel understood by my partner
I’m unheard and getting resentful
I’m tired of fighting about silly stuff
I’m walking on eggshells to avoid the next heated fight
We struggle to find a resolution
Tools to improve your communication and prevent fights
If you want more help on how to improve your communication, check out my self-paced course for couples, Communication Cures. Click the link to learn more.
www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/communication-cures
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
89. Emotional Intimacy with Dr. Wyatt Fisher
Do you want a deeper connection with your partner? Maybe your relationship started out with a close emotionally intimate connection, or maybe you’ve never had it but would really like it. In either case you’re in luck. In this episode Dr. Wyatt Fisher gives practical tools on how to create emotional intimacy in your relationship.
In this episode we discuss:
- what is emotional intimacy?
- what gets in the way of emotional intimacy?
- what to do if these things don’t feel natural or organic?
- what makes you feel more emotionally close to your partner?
- what are 3 things someone could do today to start developing a more emotionally intimate connection with their partner?
- the head heart intervention
- the bullseye intervention
Where to find Dr. Wyatt Fisher
https://www.drwyattfisher.com/pages/marriage-podcast-marriage-steps
https://www.instagram.com/marriage_drwyatt/
https://www.tiktok.com/@marriage_drwyatt
https://www.facebook.com/marriagedrwyatt
https://www.youtube.com/c/MarriageDrWyattShow
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
88. Building Meaningful Relationships with Tamara Henningham
If you’ve wanted to build a deeper connection in your relationship, feel safe with your partner, and repair past hurts, this is the podcast for you.
In this episode we discuss:
· How to prevent damaging your relationship
· Why ask yourself “is this helpful?”
· The difference between impact and intention
· How to repair your relationship after a rupture
· The importance of loving your partner the way they want to be loved
· How to increase safety in your relationship
· Why you will make mistakes in your relationship and why bother being willing to change
· Why friendship is important in long-term love
· How to deepen the friendship with your spouse
To find Tamara
IG: @h.associates https://www.instagram.com/h.associates/?hl=en
Website: https://hnapractice.com/
About Tamara:
Tamara is a healthy relationship therapist that covers the spectrum of relationships from individuals, to families to couples. All areas of our lives require us to have the tools to navigate the different types of relationships not just romantic ones. Repairing the unhealthy dynamics in her own family, she has definitely learned a thing or two about relationship repair and rebuilding, along with the importance of meaningful connection.
This episode is for informational purposes only.
87. 6 Signs You’re Compatible with Your Partner
If you’re in a romantic relationship and found yourself wondering “are we compatible?”, “is love enough?”, or “what if we don’t have chemistry?”, this episode will help you understand the difference between compatibility and chemistry. It will also give you a framework to evaluate if you and your partner have enough in common to be compatible, with or without chemistry.
In this episode I discuss:
· The difference between chemistry and compatibility in a relationship
· Neurotransmitters involved in chemistry
· Why love isn’t enough
· 6 components of compatibility in a relationship
This episode is for informational purposes only.
86. When Pornography Becomes a Problem with Wendy Maltz
Have you ever wondered “why would my partner rather watch porn than be with me?”, or maybe you’ve started to think your pornography use is becoming excessive and aren’t sure how to stop? If you relate to either of these things, this podcast is worth a listen.
In this podcast we discuss:
Factors leading to compulsive pornography use
The impact of pornography of relationships
What to do if you think you may have a problem with pornography
Tips to make quitting pornography easier
Healing as a couple after betrayal
Wendy Maltz is an internationally recognized psychotherapist, sex therapist, and expert on healthy sexuality and sexual recovery.
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
85. How to have deeper conversations with your spouse
What to do to feel closer, have a deeper connection and have conversations that can go on for hours.
FREE GUIDE the Emotional Intimacy Cheat Sheet
This is a conversation guide with 36 questions designed to help you and your partner deepen your connection through conversation.
https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/emotional-intimacy-cheat-sheet
Click the link to get the free guide.
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
84. 6 Common Relationship Problems with Isabella Gondek
In this podcast we cover the top 6 reasons relationships fall apart. Listen up to gain insight on what to watch out for and repair so you can keep your relationship healthy and connected.
In this episode we cover:
· The ideal ratio of positives and negatives in a relationship
· How negative interactions breed more negative interactions
· What leads to emotional withdrawal
· What happens when you fail to accept influence from your partner
· The difference between negative and positive sentiment override
· How to make repair attempts
Isabella Gondek is a Registered Psychotherapist, and is Level 3 Gottman Trained. For more about her therapy services, you can contact her here: https://stradwickclinic.ca/contact/
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
83. 2 Common Communication Struggles
If you’re like me, you probably went to school for 12 years, but never learned a key skill for connection and belonging – communication.
Many of my clients tell me they struggle to
· share how they feel because they fear their partner will be defensive.
· Stay level headed enough to understand the other person’s point of view
· Clearly communicate their needs
· Feel like their partner cares about their needs
Do you relate?
In this podcast, we will cover some of the answers to these questions, 2 communication struggles, and 3 tips for better communication.
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
82. How to Have Connecting Conversations with Dr. Jessica Higgins
In this powerful episode, we cover communication strategies to help you connect with the person you love when you’re hurt, how to avoid criticism, and give you practical tools to help you convey your upsets in a way your partner is likely to hear.
No one gets into a relationship to have blowout fights with their partner. In this episode, we cover what is beneath the conflicts you and your partner have, and how to communicate so you feel safe and heard by one another.
Other topics covered include:
How to stop cycles of disconnection
What attachment means
How attachment impacts conflict
How childhood impact our attachment
How childhood experiences affect our deep love relationships
What gets activated when we get upset in relationships
How criticism hurts relationships
How criticism hurts conversations
How to talk about your hurts without criticism
Prompts to help you figure out what is upsetting you
How to understand conflict patterns in relationships
How to set up a heart-to-heart conversation
To get Dr. Jessica Higgins’ FREE GUIDE on criticism here: https://drjessicahiggins.com/shifting-criticism-for-connected-communication
Dr. Jessica Higgins’ website https://drjessicahiggins.com/
Empowered Relationship Podcast https://drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
81. Betrayal Trauma with Liz Lacy
Betrayal Trauma is the impact that happens when there have been repeated betrayals in multiple ways by your partner. It is a “harsh violation of trust by someone you depend on.” This episode is all about what Betrayal Trauma is, the impact of betrayal trauma, and working through betrayal trauma as a couple.
In this episode we cover
-what betrayal trauma is
-how betrayal trauma is different than the trauma from an affair
-what the symptoms of betrayal trauma are
-what to consider when you’re wondering if you should stay or go after being betrayed
-the signs your partner is headed toward change
-how to help the betrayed partner feel safer
- the difference between an affair and a compulsion
- common mistakes therapists make in dealing with betrayal trauma with out-of-control sexual behavior
- what to tell the children after betrayal trauma
Liz Lacey website elizabethlacy.com/
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
80. 6 Signs It’s Safe to Trust Your Partner
Much of the time it doesn’t feel safe to take down your armor.
That could be because…
· You’ve been betrayed by your current partner in the past
· A past partner has broken your trust
· Or you grew up in a family where trust was nonexistent and you have never known how.
If you know you want a love that feels both safe and free, this is the episode to help you determine if you have a partner that can help you get there.
In this episode we cover 6 signs it is safe to trust your partner and other topics like…
· Warning flags that you should not trust someone
· Why trust might be hard for you
· Signs it’s safe to trust your partner again after betrayal
· The benefits of trusting someone
· Gottman’s research on trust
There is a free guide that outlines the 6 signs to trust your partner, and an exercise to help you evaluate if they are trustworthy. Download the free guide here:
www.emberrelationshippsychology.ca/6-Signs-Its-Safe-to-Trust-Your-Partner
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
79: Attachment Styles and Building a Happy Relationship with Stan Tatkin
We cover:
· How attachment develops
· How attachment impacts future relationships
· What attachment has to do with safety and security
· What autonomy has to do with attachment
· Why people cling
· How come people feel not enough or insignificant
· Why you can be securely attached and free in relationships
· What secure functioning is
· How to build secure attachment in your relationship
· Why love isn’t enough in relationships
· Why creating a joint purpose in a relationship matters
· How you can change your attachment style
Stan Tatkin – the PACT institute www.thepactinstitute.com/
Instagram -https://www.instagram.com/drstantatkin/?hl=en
@drstantatkin
Stan’s books www.thepactinstitute.com/books
This episode is for informational purposes only.
To have secure attachment is freedom
78. 3 Tips for Peaceful Conversations
No one wants to feel disconnected, misunderstood or alone with the person they love the most.
Have you ever noticed you and your partner?
· Have blowout fights when all you wanted to do was share what was in your heart?
· Can’t stop interrupting each other because you have different views?
· Are afraid to share how you really feel and think in case it pushes your partner away or causes a fight?
No one wants to feel this way with the person they love the most.
I remember the early days of the relationship with my husband. I loved him so much but were had a lot of conflicts. And because of that – we worried we were incompatible.
We both had to make some changes so we could bridge the communication gap in our relationship.
Here are the 3 biggest mindset shifts I had to make to have a better connection with my husband.
1. Remember why you got together in the first place.
2. Tolerate different views
3. Repair
If you found this helpful, but you know you need a little more help with your communication so you and your partner can have more peace and get back to loving each other, check out my blog.
https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/blog
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
77. Strategies for Better Communication with Nancy Evan and Scott Aaron.
Strategies for Better Communication with Nancy Evan and Scott Aaron.
In this episode do a deep dive into what Nancy and Scott do to nurture their friendship and keep the lines of communication open.
Whether your relationship is struggling because you feel like you’re disconnected, don’t know what to talk about anymore, or struggle to hear what your partner is telling you, there is a nugget of gold in this episode for you.
In this episode we cover:
- Communicating the hard things before they bubble over
- The use of conversation cards keeps conversations flowing
- How to balance running a business together and being a couple
- Why they don’t yell at each other
- How to work together as a team
To learn more about the online course Communication Cures click here: https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/communication-cures
Nancy- https://www.instagram.com/thebyobagency/?hl=en @thebyobagency
Scott- https://www.instagram.com/scottaaronlinkedin/?hl=en @scottaaron
Website- https://www.thetimetogrow.com/
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
76. How Taking Responsibility Led to Deep & Authentic Love with John Romaniello
In this episode, John shares how he put himself back together after a failed marriage, what he healed in therapy, how to own his sexuality, how he took responsibility for his mistakes, and how to let in deep and powerful love.
John shares the secrets to what is he does differently in his current relationship that keeps the spark of passion alive.
Whether you are wondering how to overcome the fear of abandonment, gain comfort with your own sexuality, take accountability for past behavior, be honest with yourself, or how to fall in love after loss, this episode will have a golden nugget that likely applies to you.
In this episode we discuss:
Healing from divorce
Being honest with yourself
Overcoming fear of abandonment
Understanding your sexual needs
Taking accountability for bad behavior
Falling in love
What it’s like to find safety in romantic relationships
The impact of getting reassurance from your partner
Why to give your partner words of affirmation
Communication
Repairing the relationship after breaking rules
Great quote
“Better communication is on the other side of a mistake”
John Romaniello Instagram www.instagram.com/johnromaniello/?hl=en or @ johnromaniello
website johnromaniello.com/
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
75. 3 Reasons You Should Care About Fighting Fair
Whether it’s repeat disagreements about your in-laws, sexual intimacy, different personal goals, preferences in housecleaning or the budget, I know it can make your heart pound, your face hot, and your jaw clench.
In this episode, we talk about why bother fighting fair. We cover the impact of destructive conflict, the desire to be heard and understood, and how to prevent things from getting worse. A key idea we talk about is being willing to fight fairly. Because before you can fight fair, you have to be willing to try.
Do you have beliefs about conflict that get in way of changing? I know I did. Listen up to hear what they were and how come I changed them.
If you know you want some help fighting fair, and you need a strategy, get on the waiting list for the online course Communication Cures. Registration will be open for a week at the start of March. By joining the waiting list, you will also get $100 off the regular price.
The link to join the waiting list.
www.emberrelationshippsychology.ca/communication-cures-waiting-list-2022
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
74. Goal setting – More than New Years Resolutions
If you want to have clarity and purpose in 2022 and feel confident that you can achieve your goals this year, then this episode is for you.
Do you relate to this?
· Have you ever had your soul whisper to you about something you might like to achieve in the new year?
· You started off the new year working towards a goal, but as the days passed by you lost your motivation, or maybe
· You feel spread thin like you have too many goals, too much to achieve, and you look at your year and wonder how on earth you are going to get it all done.
If you relate to any of these or all 3, listen up. We are going to talk about 3 tips to set goals you feel confident can achieve.
If you want more help with goal setting, check out the FREE video series, Goals Guide.
You get 3 videos to help you discover your big picture values, get clear on what you really want, set meaningful goals, and make a realistic plan to achieve them.
Click here to get GOALS GUIDE.
https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.ca/goalsguidesignup
This episode is for informational purposes only.
73. How sex becomes compulsive or addictive with Liz Lacy
Topics covered include:
● What is the role of attachment and sexuality?
● When do sexual intimacy problems develop?
● How can attachment heal sexual intimacy problems?
● How to change sexually compulsive behaviors?
● What happens to children sexually when their emotional needs are not met?
● What is sex addiction?
● How to determine the difference between infidelity and sexual addiction.
● How partners typically react when learning about their partner’s problematic sexual behavior.
● How the pandemic and COVID may have led to situations for someone to be unfaithful.
● What gets in the way of changing compulsive sexual behavior?
Elizabeth (Liz) Lacy is a licensed clinical social worker, advanced certified schema therapist, trainer, clinical supervisor, member of the Sexuality Attachment and Trauma Network in NYC and trains internationally on addictions. She has been working in sexual addictions and personality disorders since the mid-1990s.
Liz Lacy website: www.elizabethlacy.com/
This podcast is for informational purposes only.