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Relationship Psych | Love | Marriage | Conflict | Psychology |

Relationship Psych | Love | Marriage | Conflict | Psychology |

By Amber Dalsin
Turn the embers of a distant and lonely relationship into a blazing emotionally intimate connection.

Are you tired of conflict? Do you dream of a secure and peaceful relationship?

Welcome to Relationship Psych, The Podcast.

The goal is to teach you to create a strong and connected relationship, that withstands the test of time.

Each week I share stories, practical strategies, and have inspiring conversations with guests to help you get and keep the relationship you and your partner dream of. Let's find out how to avoid relationship disaster and become relationship masters.
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Currently playing episode

84- 6 Common Relationship Problems with Isabella Gondek

Relationship Psych | Love | Marriage | Conflict | Psychology |

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84- 6 Common Relationship Problems with Isabella Gondek
In this podcast we cover the top 6 reasons relationships fall apart. Listen up to gain insight on what to watch out for and repair so you can keep your relationship healthy and connected. In this episode we cover: · The ideal ratio of positives and negatives in a relationship · How negative interactions breed more negative interactions · What leads to emotional withdrawal · What happens when you fail to accept influence from your partner · The difference between negative and positive sentiment override · How to make repair attempts Isabella Gondek is a Registered Psychotherapist, and is Level 3 Gottman Trained. For more about her therapy services, you can contact her here: https://stradwickclinic.ca/contact/ This podcast is for informational purposes only.
44:57
June 21, 2022
83. 2 Common Communication Struggles
If you’re like me, you probably went to school for 12 years, but never learned a key skill for connection and belonging – communication. Many of my clients tell me they struggle to · share how they feel because they fear their partner will be defensive. · Stay level headed enough to understand the other person’s point of view · Clearly communicate their needs · Feel like their partner cares about their needs Do you relate? In this podcast, we will cover some of the answers to these questions, 2 communication struggles, and 3 tips for better communication. This podcast is for informational purposes only.
16:44
June 07, 2022
82. How to Have Connecting Conversations with Dr. Jessica Higgins
In this powerful episode, we cover communication strategies to help you connect with the person you love when you’re hurt, how to avoid criticism, and give you practical tools to help you convey your upsets in a way your partner is likely to hear. No one gets into a relationship to have blowout fights with their partner. In this episode, we cover what is beneath the conflicts you and your partner have, and how to communicate so you feel safe and heard by one another. Other topics covered include: How to stop cycles of disconnection What attachment means How attachment impacts conflict How childhood impact our attachment How childhood experiences affect our deep love relationships What gets activated when we get upset in relationships How criticism hurts relationships How criticism hurts conversations How to talk about your hurts without criticism Prompts to help you figure out what is upsetting you How to understand conflict patterns in relationships How to set up a heart-to-heart conversation To get Dr. Jessica Higgins’ FREE GUIDE on criticism here: https://drjessicahiggins.com/shifting-criticism-for-connected-communication Dr. Jessica Higgins’ website https://drjessicahiggins.com/ Empowered Relationship Podcast https://drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ This podcast is for informational purposes only.
57:12
May 24, 2022
81. Betrayal Trauma with Liz Lacy
This episode is the follow up to episode 73: How sex becomes compulsive or addictive with Liz Lacy. Betrayal Trauma is the impact that happens when there have been repeated betrayals in multiple ways by your partner. It is a “harsh violation of trust by someone you depend on.” This episode is all about what Betrayal Trauma is, the impact of betrayal trauma, and working through betrayal trauma as a couple. In this episode we cover -what betrayal trauma is -how betrayal trauma is different than the trauma from an affair -what the symptoms of betrayal trauma are -what to consider when you’re wondering if you should stay or go after being betrayed -the signs your partner is headed toward change -how to help the betrayed partner feel safer - the difference between an affair and a compulsion - common mistakes therapists make in dealing with betrayal trauma with out-of-control sexual behavior - what to tell the children after betrayal trauma Liz Lacey website https://elizabethlacy.com/ This podcast is for informational purposes only.
49:40
May 10, 2022
80. 6 Signs It’s Safe to Trust Your Partner
Relationships require you to let down your armor and expose your heart. Much of the time it doesn’t feel safe to take down your armor. That could be because… · You’ve been betrayed by your current partner in the past · A past partner has broken your trust · Or you grew up in a family where trust was nonexistent and you have never known how. If you know you want a love that feels both safe and free, this is the episode to help you determine if you have a partner that can help you get there. In this episode we cover 6 signs it is safe to trust your partner and other topics like… · Warning flags that you should not trust someone · Why trust might be hard for you · Signs it’s safe to trust your partner again after betrayal · The benefits of trusting someone · Gottman’s research on trust There is a free guide that outlines the 6 signs to trust your partner, and an exercise to help you evaluate if they are trustworthy. Download the free guide here: https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.ca/6-Signs-Its-Safe-to-Trust-Your-Partner This podcast is for informational purposes only.
13:28
April 26, 2022
79: Attachment Styles and Building a Happy Relationship with Stan Tatkin
In this episode, Stan covers the basics of attachment, the neurobiology of connection, and practical strategies to create a safe and long-lasting love. We cover: · How attachment develops · How attachment impacts future relationships · What attachment has to do with safety and security · What autonomy has to do with attachment · Why people cling · How come people feel not enough or insignificant · Why you can be securely attached and free in relationships · What secure functioning is · How to build secure attachment in your relationship · Why love isn’t enough in relationships · Why creating a joint purpose in a relationship matters · How you can change your attachment style Stan Tatkin – the PACT institute https://www.thepactinstitute.com/ Instagram -https://www.instagram.com/drstantatkin/?hl=en @drstantatkin Stan’s books https://www.thepactinstitute.com/books This episode is for informational purposes only. To have secure attachment is freedom
49:57
April 12, 2022
78. 3 Tips for Peaceful Conversations
No one wants to feel disconnected, misunderstood or alone with the person they love the most. Have you ever noticed you and your partner? · Have blowout fights when all you wanted to do was share what was in your heart? · Can’t stop interrupting each other because you have different views? · Are afraid to share how you really feel and think in case it pushes your partner away or causes a fight? No one wants to feel this way with the person they love the most. I remember the early days of the relationship with my husband. I loved him so much but were had a lot of conflicts. And because of that – we worried we were incompatible. We both had to make some changes so we could bridge the communication gap in our relationship. Here are the 3 biggest mindset shifts I had to make to have a better connection with my husband. 1. Remember why you got together in the first place. 2. Tolerate different views 3. Repair If you found this helpful, but you know you need a little more help with your communication so you and your partner can have more peace and get back to loving each other, check out my blog. https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/blog This podcast is for informational purposes only.
11:17
March 29, 2022
77. Strategies for Better Communication with Nancy Evan and Scott Aaron.
Strategies for Better Communication with Nancy Evan and Scott Aaron.  In this episode do a deep dive into what Nancy and Scott do to nurture their friendship and keep the lines of communication open.  Whether your relationship is struggling because you feel like you’re disconnected, don’t know what to talk about anymore, or struggle to hear what your partner is telling you, there is a nugget of gold in this episode for you.  In this episode we cover: - Communicating the hard things before they bubble over - The use of conversation cards keeps conversations flowing - How to balance running a business together and being a couple - Why they don’t yell at each other - How to work together as a team  To learn more about the online course Communication Cures click here: https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/communication-cures Nancy- https://www.instagram.com/thebyobagency/?hl=en @thebyobagency Scott- https://www.instagram.com/scottaaronlinkedin/?hl=en @scottaaron  Website- https://www.thetimetogrow.com/  This podcast is for informational purposes only. 
56:18
March 15, 2022
76. How Taking Responsibility Led to Deep & Authentic Love with John Romaniello
Today John is in a loving relationship where he can be his authentic self… but that isn’t how his story started.  In this episode, John shares how he put himself back together after a failed marriage, what he healed in therapy, how to own his sexuality, how he took responsibility for his mistakes, and how to let in deep and powerful love.  John shares the secrets to what is he does differently in his current relationship that keeps the spark of passion alive.  Whether you are wondering how to overcome the fear of abandonment, gain comfort with your own sexuality, take accountability for past behavior, be honest with yourself, or how to fall in love after loss, this episode will have a golden nugget that likely applies to you.  In this episode we discuss: Healing from divorce Being honest with yourself Overcoming fear of abandonment Understanding your sexual needs Taking accountability for bad behavior  Falling in love  What it’s like to find safety in romantic relationships  The impact of getting reassurance from your partner Why to give your partner words of affirmation  Communication Repairing the relationship after breaking rules Great quote “Better communication is on the other side of a mistake” John Romaniello Instagram https://www.instagram.com/johnromaniello/?hl=en or @ johnromaniello website https://johnromaniello.com/  This podcast is for informational purposes only. 
01:21:09
March 01, 2022
75. 3 Reasons You Should Care About Fighting Fair
Do you want to stop feeling disrespected and unheard in conversations with your partner? Whether it’s repeat disagreements about your in-laws, sexual intimacy, different personal goals, preferences in housecleaning or the budget, I know it can make your heart pound, your face hot, and your jaw clench. In this episode, we talk about why bother fighting fair. We cover the impact of destructive conflict, the desire to be heard and understood, and how to prevent things from getting worse. A key idea we talk about is being willing to fight fairly. Because before you can fight fair, you have to be willing to try. Do you have beliefs about conflict that get in way of changing? I know I did. Listen up to hear what they were and how come I changed them. If you know you want some help fighting fair, and you need a strategy, get on the waiting list for the online course Communication Cures. Registration will be open for a week at the start of March. By joining the waiting list, you will also get $100 off the regular price. The link to join the waiting list. https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.ca/communication-cures-waiting-list-2022 This podcast is for informational purposes only.
12:58
February 15, 2022
74. Goal setting – More than New Years Resolutions
If you want to have clarity and purpose in 2022 and feel confident that you can achieve your goals this year, then this episode is for you. Do you relate to this? · Have you ever had your soul whisper to you about something you might like to achieve in the new year? · You started off the new year working towards a goal, but as the days passed by you lost your motivation, or maybe · You feel spread thin like you have too many goals, too much to achieve, and you look at your year and wonder how on earth you are going to get it all done. If you relate to any of these or all 3, listen up. We are going to talk about 3 tips to set goals you feel confident can achieve. If you want more help with goal setting, check out the FREE video series, Goals Guide. You get 3 videos to help you discover your big picture values, get clear on what you really want, set meaningful goals, and make a realistic plan to achieve them. Click here to get GOALS GUIDE.  https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.ca/goalsguidesignup This episode is for informational purposes only.
09:09
February 01, 2022
73. How sex becomes compulsive or addictive with Liz Lacy
Understand how sexuality drives us, how our sexuality becomes problematic or even addictive. In this episode, we especially look at what leads to problematic sexual behaviors, compulsive sexual behaviors or addiction. Topics covered include: ● What is the role of attachment and sexuality? ● When do sexual intimacy problems develop? ● How can attachment heal sexual intimacy problems? ● How to change sexually compulsive behaviors? ● What happens to children sexually when their emotional needs are not met? ● What is sex addiction? ● How to determine the difference between infidelity and sexual addiction. ● How partners typically react when learning about their partner’s problematic sexual behavior. ● How the pandemic and COVID may have led to situations for someone to be unfaithful. ● What gets in the way of changing compulsive sexual behavior? Elizabeth (Liz) Lacy is a licensed clinical social worker, advanced certified schema therapist, trainer, clinical supervisor, member of the Sexuality Attachment and Trauma Network in NYC and trains internationally on addictions. She has been working in sexual addictions and personality disorders since the mid-1990s. Liz Lacy website: http://www.elizabethlacy.com/ This podcast is for informational purposes only.
48:57
December 14, 2021
72. How to know if you’re compatible
When couples are feeling unseen, unheard, resentful or unloved they commonly wonder if they are compatible. In this episode, we cover 4 key ideas to consider when you are thinking about your compatibility. 1. Do you have the same beliefs and values about what a relationship is? 2. Are you facing a deal-breaker? 3. Are you willing to learn how to do conflict together? 4. Are you willing to accept/tolerate your partner’s flaws? This podcast is for informational purposes only.
13:19
December 07, 2021
71. Lightening the Mental Load with Elizabeth Earnshaw
In this episode we are bringing to light the hidden mental load that exists in relationships. Whether it’s remembering doctor’s appointments, booking the dog in for it’s vaccines, or cleaning up the kitchen, there is a way to restore fairness and respect in your relationship. · How to work better as a team. · What mental load is in a relationship. · Tips to explain mental load to your partner. · How mental load could be impacting your relationship. · How to ask for what you need without blaming your partner. · What it takes to make your relationship fairer. · That willingness is key to making your relationship work. · Why it is important to change, even if, you partner doesn’t change first. Tag a friend in the tile of Liz and I and be entered to win 1 of 6 books. @emberrelationshippsychology https://www.instagram.com/emberrelationshippsychology/?hl=en  Liz’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lizlistens/?hl=en Book I Want This to Work https://www.amazon.com/Want-This-Work-Navigating-Relationship/dp/1683647955 This podcast is for informational purposes only.
49:06
November 30, 2021
70. 5 Tips for Communication in Conflict
Conflict is hard, and here are some tools to help you have a peaceful conversation, even when you are angry. 1. Remember you’re a team 2. Soften each other 3. Repair 4. Take breaks 5. Come back and talk without fighting This podcast is for informational purposes only. See a relationship professional in your area for advice for your specific problem. Host- Amber Dalsin is a psychologist and couples therapist in Mississauga Ontario.
15:49
November 23, 2021
69. How to rewire yourself for love with Orit Krug
How dance movement therapy can help you break free from unhealthy relationship patterns so you can find healthy and loving relationships. In this episode we cover: How dance can help you heal from trauma. How trauma gets stuck in the body. Why talk therapy doesn’t always work and other therapeutic methods to help you stop sabotaging relationship patterns. How to start feeling to love you want and deserve. To learn more about Orit and her programs, click below: Website: https://oritkrug.com/ 3 Secrets to Lasting Love: Website: https://oritkrug.com/ Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/lastinglovemovement/
45:25
November 09, 2021
68. What is Narcissism with Wendy Behary
If you have ever wondered “what is narcissism?” or “does my partner have narcissism?”, then this podcast is for you. In this episode we cover: What narcissism means Different kinds of narcissism How common narcissism is Where narcissism comes from The impact of narcissism on relationships What kind of people are more likely to attract partners with narcissistic qualities How to speak to someone who does have narcissistic tendencies To learn more about Wendy Behary and the book Disarming the Narcissist check out these links: https://disarmingthenarcissist.com/ The book: https://www.amazon.ca/Disarming-Narcissist-Surviving-Thriving-Self-Absorbed/dp/1684037700/ref=asc_df_1684037700/?tag=googleshopc0c-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=459263674062&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=17782327393863818313&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9000815&hvtargid=pla-1289331927350&psc=1 This podcast is for informational purposes only.
52:34
November 02, 2021
67. How to make your relationship happier
How to make your relationship happy again. We are going to go over some steps to make your relationship better and two common mistakes that will get in the way. In this episode we talk about: Your relationship goals The actions you need to take to reach your relationship goals Mistakes getting in the way of actually creating a happier relationship Get the Course Communication Cures by clicking here. https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/communication-cures This episode is for informational purposes only.
11:50
October 26, 2021
66. 4 Mistakes Couples Make When Trying to Make Up After a Fight
Most couples don’t want fights to become huge blow outs that hurt their relationship. They want a way to successfully resolve pains between them. Like a washing machine, sometimes a problem might spin you around or twist you for a short while, but then you come out cleaner and even brighter than before. Conflict is normal in relationships. But how we do conflict can be so destructive. It can turn a good relationship toxic and leave a good intentioned couple headed for divorce. In this episode we are going to talk about the most common mistakes I see couples do when they talk about a fight that prevents them from processing the pain and coming out brighter than before. Instead, they get spun around, or twisted and come out looking drained, tired, and hopeless. Link to Communication Cures https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/communication-cures This podcast is for informational purposes only.
13:13
October 19, 2021
65. Save your relationship with simple frameworks
Save your communication with simple frameworks We get into a relationship to have big smile greet us when we get home at the end of a day, a warm body to curl up next to in bed, a listening ear when we need to vent, an adventure companion to explore with on weekends, and a teammate to tackle housework. And why shouldn’t you have that. But tell me if this has ever been you? As you walk into your front door there is no greeting smile, in bed there is another body hugging the edge of the bed and the gap between you is cool and distant, when you go to vent your not even sure the sound of your voice hits your partner’s ears, you stop spending time together, and you are in never ending power struggle about housework. You might relate to some or all of that. In my last 10+ years as a psychologist and couples therapist, I’ve heard of many couples going through just this. They try to connect but they don’t know what to do when communication breaks down. They have no framework for healthy relationship communication, and their efforts fail. In this episode we cover: · The secret to reconnecting with your partner, and no, it’s not buying a new dress or matching lingerie. · What you can do in the next 2.5 months to walk into 2022 confident in your relationship. · A tool to help you get to the heart of an issue without long drawn-out conversations.  Get Communication Cures, the new online course click here https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/communication-cures This podcast is for informational purposes only.
13:35
October 12, 2021
64. What Predicts Divorce, & How to Prevent Divorce with Dr. Tamara Fackrell
Discover what causes 95% of divorces, and tools you can use today so can create a loving and long-lasting relationship. Whether your relationship is struggling with difficulties feeling seen and heard, lack of intimacy, or the same problems over and over, Dr. Fackrell shares some practical tools couples can use to increase their connection. In this episode we cover: · What gender is filing two thirds of divorces and why. · How to handle it when the same problems come up over and over. · What is means to actually show your partner love in a meaningful way, so you actually hit the bulls eye. · Why bother working on your relationship. · Strategies to improve your relationship. Dr. Tamara Fackrell loves good marriages. After practicing as an attorney mediator who works with divorce and other family matters for ten years she decided to get her PhD in Marriage, Family, and Human Development. Dr. Fackrell has been active attorney mediator for over 20 years now and she also does prevention by speaking and helping married couples with Mediation Marital Strategy Sessions. She is an international speaker and the author of over 15 books. She has seen firsthand what does and does not make marriage work. Website: https://mindfulmarriage.love/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mindful_marriage/?hl=en This episode is for informational purposes only.
53:09
October 05, 2021
63. What to do after an affair with Mac Stanley Cazeau
The truth you didn’t know about healing from infidelity, tools you can use to overcome betrayal, and steps to rebuild so you can create a relationship that was even stronger than before. In this episode we cover: What goes wrong in relationships that sets the stage for infidelity. Dos and don’ts after learning about an affair. If affairs are really about sex. Different kinds of people who have affairs. The 3 stages of healing after infidelity. What is an appropriate consequence after infidelity so your partner can trust again. Bio: Mac Stanley Cazeau, LMHC owner and operator of Therapy Is For Everyone Counseling where he specializes in individual counseling, marriage, family, and couples counseling. Mac’s caseload tends to be 70% couples, and 30% individuals/family, of which majority are black men and women. Mr. Cazeau obtained his Undergraduate Degree in B.S Psychology from Queens College and Masters of Mental Health Counseling from Long Island University. Furthermore, Mr. Cazeau obtained 3 certifications from the Gottman Institute & one certification from the Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT ) model. Mr. Cazeau’s therapeutic philosophy focuses on a holistic approach, utilizing a variety of techniques, tailoring the therapy to each individual's needs. Mr. Cazeau specializes in the following: Relationship Counseling Improving Communication Skills Conflict Management Increasing Friendship, Intimacy, Admiration, and Fondness within Couples Attachment, Love Addiction Healing from Trauma & Affairs Dating and/or Recovering from A Narcissist Divorce/Separation & Family Dynamics Depression, Anxiety, Anger Management Website: Therapyisforeveryone.org Email: Talk2Mac1on1@gmail.com IG: @Talk2Mac_Therapist This episode is for informational purposes only.
53:23
September 28, 2021
62. Mental Health Across the Lifespan with Dr. Julie Erickson
Discover the secrets to good mental health over the lifespan. Even if we keep putting 29 candles on the birthday cake every year, the earth keeps going around the sun, and we age. Tune in to hear about how we can keep fit with our mental health, how we can optimize our mental health, and what to expect as we age. We cover: · The truth about how aging affects mental health · Poking holes in the myths about the psychological effects of aging · How to support the mental health in older adults · Questions to ask your partner so you can create a meaningful life together · How to take care of your mental health as you age · The impact of your social circle on your mental health About Dr. Julie: Dr. Julie Erickson is a clinical psychologist at the Forest Hill Centre for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and an adjunct faculty member in the Department of Applied Psychology and Human Development at the University of Toronto. Her research has focused on understanding the mental health needs of older adults and reducing their barriers to obtaining evidence-based psychological treatment. Dr. Erickson provides cognitive behavioral therapy to adults across the lifespan with a focus on mood and anxiety disorders, OCD, and trauma-related disorders. She also teaches graduate courses and workshops on cognitive behavioral therapy, psychological disorders, and aging & mental health. This podcast is for informational purposes only.
40:51
September 14, 2021
61. Fix your communication fast- for couples
Fix your communication fast- for couples Have you wondered how to fix relationship communication problems? If so, this show is for you. We are going to cover: How to fix communication after it breaks down, why communication matters, and a tool to help you improve your communication as soon as today. Sticks and stones will break your bones and words and meanness will hurt you. My heart started pounding in my chest as my fingertips started to shake, I was reading a comment on one of my reels on Instagram. It said, “this is stupid, if my partner is crazy, I want to say so, and their feelings are their own problem.”. So why do people make dismissing comments like this? That is what this show is all about! This is what we are going to go over: What we learn about emotion in our culture Gender differences in learning emotions and communication The ways people dismiss emotions A strategy to improve communication How perspective taking helps work through difficult issues The use of empathy in communication with your partner Toxic communication mistakes Link to the Emotional Validation Cheat Sheet https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/emotional-validation-cheat-sheet This podcast is for informational purposes only.
18:21
September 07, 2021
60. Rebuilding after an affair with Anthony Trucks
An affair is like having a grenade go off in your marriage. Shockwaves stun you, the smoke makes your eyes water, while the shards tear apart your heart. Eventually, the smoke and dust settle, and you are left to pick up the pieces. Sometimes affairs end in healing and healthy relationships if the couple takes the time to clean up their relationship and rebuild. Other times, couples decide there was too much destruction, so they move on. If you’ve wondered if you can heal after an affair, or if your marriage can succeed after an affair, listen to this podcast. Anthony Trucks courageously shares how an affair shattered his marriage, and what he and his wife did that allowed them to build an even better relationship. About Anthony Trucks: Anthony Trucks is a Former Foster Child, NFL Football Player, Competitor on American Ninja Warrior, Author, Life Coach and Entrepreneur. From foster care to the NFL, to successful business owner, Anthony Trucks has accomplished what statistics would say is impossible. As a speaker and success coach, Anthony teaches people how to design and build better lives and businesses by learning how to access the power of their identity to tap into their full potential and Make Shift Happen! IG: https://www.instagram.com/anthonytrucks/?hl=en New Book, Identity Shift: https://identityshiftbook.com/ This is not specific relationship advice and an assessment has not been done, so be sure to see a therapist in your area for specific advice for you. This podcast is for informational purposes only.
50:42
August 31, 2021
59. 4 Tips To Help You In A Long-Distance Relationship
Long-distance was the thing that taught me about bitter loneliness, and the thing that taught me about committed love and two imperfect people who refused to give up on each other. In this episode I’m going to share about my 14 month long-distance experience, as well as share some ideas from couples therapy research to help you with your long-distance relationship. 1. Talk about your goals. 2. Establish rituals of connection 3. Use love languages to bolster the connection 4. Soothe difficult emotions. I am also answering some Q and A. This is not specific relationship advice and an assessment has not been done, so be sure to see a therapist in your area for specific advice for you. This podcast is for informational purposes only.
20:36
August 24, 2021
58. How Meditation Helps with Jasmine Irven
Give us 50 minutes and we will give you meditation tools to reduce anxiety and stress, as well as give you a mediation to use to regulate your nervous system when you are upset with your partner. Have you ever wondered… …how meditation helps people? …why meditation is important? …can meditation help anxiety? If the answer is YES, checked out this episode of Relationship Psych – The Podcast · We cover how to use meditation when you are upset with your partner so you can regulate your nervous system to better work through conflict. · Common misconceptions about meditation and how to overcome them. · We do a 3-minute mediation that you can try for yourself to uncover if it helps you release tension. · How to begin meditation if you don’t know where to get started. In the episode you hear about free guides: Get the FREE GUIDE: 50 Strategies to Calm Anger and Anxiety by clicking here. As well as Jasmine’s FREE MEDITATION: Click here to download your 5-minute mediation. Here are Jasmin’s links: Website: https://www.sustainableblissco.com/ Freebie: https://www.sustainableblissco.com/relax Personal IG: https://www.instagram.com/jasmineirven/ Sustainable Bliss IG: https://www.instagram.com/sustainableblissco/ More about Jasmine: Jasmine Irven is a Certified Meditation Teacher and the founder of the Sustainable Bliss Collective, a community and membership for ambitious women who need reminders to reprioritize their self-care. This podcast is for informational purposes only. This is not therapy. Be sure to be in a safe place, and not driving if choosing to try the mediation.
55:55
August 17, 2021
57. What causes infidelity?
What causes infidelity? It might not be what you think. In this episode we are going over the early warning signs of infidelity using examples from the TV show Sex Life. We explore things you can do to protect your relationship from infidelity. The difference between influence and choice. We cover John and Julie Gottman’s theory on affairs. Link to the FREE guide: 6 Small Things that Loving and Successful Couples Do. https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/6-small-things-that-successful-couples-do This show is for informational purposes only.
13:01
August 10, 2021
56. Stop Giving Your Power Away
Stop Giving Your Power Away How putting everyone’s needs ahead of your own could be sabotaging your relationship and your mental health. Break free from overwhelm, feel supported, and take your power back. In this episode, I share some of my story and how I learned to give my power away. I describe how I fluctuated between subjugating my needs to everyone else’s and how I tried to regain my control. I talk about the first steps to getting your needs met. There are suggestions about assertively getting your needs met. Your needs are valid. This show is for informational purposes only.
11:45
August 03, 2021
55. Desire in Long-term Relationships with Dr. Katelyn Gomes
Discover how to rekindle your desire and passion in a long-term relationship. We discuss: · Key factors to spark the flame · Uncertainty and its connection to desire · How novelty plays a role in desire and how to create new experiences · All the different hats we wear with our partner and how to make sure you make time for your relationship hat · Ideas for rituals for connection This podcast is for informational purposes only.
40:58
July 27, 2021
54. Are You Making This Mistake?
I’m going to tell you a story, that comes from couples therapy, the names are made up but the content is true. In this episode we cover emotional validation, and how to give it. We discuss what gets in the way of being able to hear your partner’s side of the story. If you want to learn a little more about validation, check out the Emotional Intimacy Blueprint To learn more just ✅ click the link www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/emotional-intimacy-blueprint ✅ watch the videos ✅ and get the tools to create a loving connection that lasts. This podcast is for informational purposes only.
13:01
July 20, 2021
53. Bids for Connection
How missing bids for connection can take the wind out of your sails. In this episode, we review what a bid for connection is and how to turn towards, turn away or turn against bids for connection. We got over examples for how to respond to your partner differently and improve the chances of a strong emotional connection. If you are interested in learning more about Emotional Intimacy check out the mini-course: The Emotional Intimacy Blueprint. · Discover the 7 pillars of emotional intimacy and how to implement them to create a loving relationship. · Stop feeling like you are two separate island and learn how to build a bridge between you. · Get worksheets to implement the concepts into your relationship as soon as today. Check the link to get the Emotional Intimacy Blueprint https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/emotional-intimacy-blueprint This podcast is for informational purposes only.
15:32
July 13, 2021
52. Rekindle Emotional Intimacy Today
Crack the code to emotionally intimacy where you consistently feel seen and special. Last Friday, after 6 months of lockdown, patios reopened. Sitting on a picnic bench with a plastic divider next to me, my eyes landed on a couple whose gazes seemed to burn into each other, and it was as if they were oblivious to the 50 other people on the patio (6 ft apart). ➣As I watched, they sampled each others’ beer, tasted each other’s food, all while keeping their gazes firmly fixed on the other. ➣No phone, no silences, just palpable connection. How long do you think this couple had been together? My guess is it was a new relationship. Why? Because new love lights up the pleasure center of our brain. In a flash, it becomes effortless to talk, gaze and caress each other. Have you ever looked at a couple like this and had conflicting feelings? →On the one hand, you feel irritated with their public display of affection and wish they would get a room. →But, on the other hand, you feel a prick of envy and long for the good old days? After spending nearly 6 months mostly talking to my husband, sometimes I feel like a dried-up well with nothing left to say… …With my shoulders slumped and feeling reasonably jealous of this couple in love, I excused myself to the bathroom. I decided I was over feeling sorry for myself and was going to set the stage to rekindle connection with my husband. In the episode, we discuss what I did to reignite our spark. If you want to learn how to Emotional Intimacy, Check out the Emotional Intimacy Blueprint. This podcast is for informational purposes only.
12:01
June 21, 2021
51. Relationship Communication
This podcast is for informational purposes only.
51:28
June 14, 2021
51. Can Emotional Intimacy Be Learned?
Get the tactics to feel seen and heard, cultivate a strong partnership, so you can be walking hand in hand with your closest confidant into your 80s. I love to bring TV shows into the podcast to teach relationship lessons. Last night my husband and I were watching For All Mankind. It’s a TV series that takes us back in time to the space race, highlighting missions to the moon of Apollo 11, the controversy of the Soviet Union landing on the moon first, and how the USA was the first country to have a man walk on the moon. Now there are lots of relationships in the show and I was trying to think about how to talk about one… but in truth, I am still waiting for a for a great teachable moment that is more than TV love… So, this brings me to something VERY important. TV is not real life. Think about how odd our world is. Love and belonging are core needs, like food, water, and shelter. Yet we go through 12 years of education and most of us go to school even longer. We learn math, science, language arts… but when, when do we learn about connection. I know I didn’t have a single class until the 4th year of my psychology degree. So how are we supposed to learn connection? If we are lucky we have parents that modeled a good connection for us. Many of us are not that lucky. Here are two tools you can use to create emotional intimacy in your relationship. Yes, these are emotional intimacy tools that can be learned. These two ideas come from the Gottman Method and their years of research. 1. Spend time truly catching up on each other’s inner worlds. 2. Create a culture of cherishing. To get the Emotional Intimacy Cheat Sheet Click here: https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/emotional-intimacy-cheat-sheet This podcast is for informational purposes only.
13:41
June 07, 2021
50. 3 ways to use touch to increase connection
Here are 3 things you should know about how touch can make you closer, restoke the flame between you, and reinforce the reasons you fell in love in the first place. Touch used to be the thing that made me recoil from someone, and today it is the only tool that can slower the walls I can put up around my heart. And if you keep listening, I am going to share with the exact moment everything changed, and why most people call my husband and me a very affectionate couple. In this episode we discuss 3 ways that touch helps with connection in relationships: · That it provides safety and comfort · That it plays a role in the release of oxytocin and bonding · And kissing, snuggling, nuzzling and massaging plays a role in pair bonding. We also explore 3 ways that touch can be used to increase connection. 1. Ask permission to touch. 2. Engage in nurturing touch that does not pressure sex. 3. Talk about your touch likes and dislikes. This podcast is for informational purposes only.
09:10
May 31, 2021
49. How attachment styles affect communication
The impact of the 6 core attachment needs Sometimes being in love feels like you’re standing on the edge of a cliff and hoping your partner is going to catch you. In this episode, we discuss 6 core attachment needs, attachment styles, and the impact on communication. 6 Attachment Needs · To feel special · To feel valued and respected · To feel safe, that you care about my emotions, even if you don’t understand them · To understand that vulnerability is hard for me · To know I am wanted · To know you will be there when I need you We review the attachment styles: · Anxious · Avoidant · Secure We explore the behaviors associated with distress in each attachment style: · Protest behavior · Deactivating strategies · Secure strategies Get the FREE GUIDE the Emotional Intimacy Cheat Sheet https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/emotional-intimacy-cheat-sheet This podcast is for informational purposes only.
32:38
May 25, 2021
48. Uncover the Foundations to a Long-Term Love with Alex Street
Alex shares what has made his 20-year relationship work, how they have worked through what could have become massive fights, and how others can do the same. As Alex shares, Amber provides relationship theory and takes what Alex and his wife are doing right, and shares strategies for other couples the do the same. In this episode we cover: · The 3 foundations to emotional intimacy · The number one predictor of a happy long-term relationship · How to notice and respond to your partner’s request for attention · Growing together even when you have different love languages Alex street: website https://alexstreet.ca/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/streetsays/?hl=enor @streetsays Emotional Intimacy Cheat Sheet: https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/emotional-intimacy-cheat-sheet This podcast is for informational purposes only.
37:09
May 17, 2021
47. Why Emotional Connection is So Hard
Why Emotional Connection is So Hard It’s because of this little ingredient… Connection requires vulnerability. “Being vulnerable is like jumping off a cliff. You take a big leap of faith, and you hope someone is there to catch you.” In this episode, we discuss connection, the family of origin, and attachment needs. Communication solutions course: Communication Solutions — Ember Relationship Psychology This podcast is for informational purposes only.
11:27
April 26, 2021
46. 3 Ways To Improve Your Communication FAST
Avoid spending time in disconnection, or worse another conflict cycle that drives you farther part, most couples want a way to come back together. Many couples want love to be easy, like taking a deep breath of air, or drinking a glass of water. And yet, the communication that seemed to flow effortlessly at the beginning of the relationship feels stale, difficult, and at times very hurtful. Most couples have heard that relationships take work, and still, they feel like love shouldn’t be so hard, they are tired of their communication struggles. In this episode, we are going to discuss 3 ways to improve your communication fast. The three things we are going to cover are: 1. Time for Friendship 2. Tune into your Partner’s Channel 3. Commitment to Peace Many couples have different communication styles- and that gets in the way of them feeling truly seen and heard by each other. Introducing the NEW on-demand communication course: Communication Solutions. Get the strategy to feel connected and break free from the negative communication cycles creating distance and resentment between you. Discover communication tools so you feel certain you can respectfully address issues, find peace and increase the love between you. GET EARLY BIRD PRICING, ENDING April 21, at 11:59 pm To improve your communication just... ✅ Click the link https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/communication-solutions ✅ Watch the videos ✅ Get the strategy to improve your communication This episode is for informational purposes.
17:30
April 19, 2021
45. Are We Compatible
Problems, different interests, ridged positions and conflict makes lot of couples come to therapy and wonder if they are even compatible, if they are soul mates and if they should be together. It sucks to love someone a lot and wonder if you should be together. This is a great question and it's hard to answer.  This podcast is for informational purposes only. 
09:57
April 12, 2021
44. 3 Ways to use Words of Affirmation
3 Ways to use Words of Affirmation. How to use words to reignite the love in your relationship. Imagine if you could take down the guard around your partner’s heart. Discover how to use words to make love shine in your partner’s eyes again. After working with couples for over a decade, I know people want love to be easy, and can be frustrated by the work involved to keep love alive. They want it to feel genuine and are conflicted about the intentional work it takes to make a relationship better, especially when you are resentful or it's not coming naturally. In this episode, we go over 3 ways to express words of affirmation to build a culture of fondness and admiration in your relationship. This podcast is for informational purposes only.
09:45
April 05, 2021
43. How to make your partner feel loved & special
How to make your partner feel loved & special The five love languages can guide your way. Gary Chapman, author of the book the 5 Love Languages defines the 5 Love Languages. This episode is about using these as a guide to help your partner feel loved and special. TV/movies have lied to us… it looks easy, simple, it depicts a false picture of what “true love” is. If we were lucky enough, maybe we had parents that modeled what how to make love last. Many people didn’t. And even if you did, most of us are a touch lost on how to cultivate a strong love that lasts. The good news is there is a road map to create a secure, adoring, relationship where you really feel liked… even if things haven’t been good for a long while. In this podcast, we are looking at the 5 Love Languages to help partners connect. The 5 Love Languages are: 1. Words of affirmation 2. Quality time 3. Acts of service 4. Receiving gifts 5. Physical touch If you want to know more about making your partner feel loved and special, and are open to increasing words of affirmation, join us in the "#sweet7" text Challenge. Uncover the love in your relationship through using words of appreciation. 💌 In this 7 day challenge, you will get 7 texts over 7 days, with 7 small & simple things you can do for your partner. Stop feeling disconnected and out of sync. ...Ace the art of appreciation to cultivate a connection with your love. April 1-7, get a text daily with instructions for sweet words to say or leave for your partner. To join, just text "sweet" to 1-313-710-9683 and you will be added to the text sweet 7 challenge. You will get prompts to help you find the words to say to make your partner feel loved and special. Discover how to create deep connections through words of affirmation. I hope to see you in the challenge. This podcast is for informational purposes.
11:15
March 29, 2021
42. A FAST and little-known way to increase loving feelings
A FAST and little-known way to increase loving feelings Reigniting loving feelings with words of affirmation. Long term relationships are hard, the spark fades and rather than loving comments, your relationship has ugly complaints. You don’t listen to me You don’t respect me You think I’m a bad person You don’t love me Many couples start to wonder if they are compatible, or if their partner finds them desirable, or if their partner even likes them anymore. In this episode, we talk about using words of affirmation (a love language from the 5 Love Languages), and to cultivate a culture of fondness and admiration (from the Gottman’s Sounds Relationship House). To help people try this out, we have a strategy to help… Introducing the "#sweet7" Challenge. Uncover the love in your relationship through using words of appreciation. 💌 In this 7 day challenge, you will get 7 texts over 7 days, with 7 small & simple things you can do for your partner. Stop feeling disconnected and out of sync. ...Ace the art of appreciation to cultivate a connection with your love. April 1-7, get a text daily with instructions for sweet words to say or leave for your partner. To join, just text "sweet" to 1-313-710-9683 and you will be added to the text sweet 7 challenge. You will get prompts to help you find the words to say to make your partner feel loved and special. Discover how to create deep connections through words of affirmation. This podcast is not meant as specific relationship advice. It is for informational purposes. Host- Amber Dalsin is a psychologist and couples therapist in Mississauga Ontario.
13:29
March 22, 2021
41. What Attachment has to do with Communication
What Attachment has to do with Communication Some people avoid conversations Other people aggressively attack conversations While yet others openly chat and hear the other person and calmly express their side. Depending on our underlying attachment styles, and beliefs and values in her world, we will respond in conversations in different ways. In the episode The Secret Behind Creating a Love That Lasts With Any Attachment Style (37) we review the attachment styles in a relationship. For more on attachment, see that episode. In this episode, we will explore attachment common communication patterns that arise due to our attachment styles being activated. We look at activation responses in: Anxious attachment Avoidant attachment Secure attachment And what it would take to start to change these responses. This podcast is for informational purposes only. Host- Amber Dalsin is a psychologist and couples therapist in Mississauga Ontario.
15:05
March 15, 2021
40. 6 Steps to heal past resentments
6 Steps to heal past resentments Past pains get in the way of current pleasures We all want conflict to stop and to feel deeply connected to our partners. It sucks to have the same conflict again and again. Like we are spinning our wheels and getting nowhere. Lonely, angry, feeling invalidated and disrespected, sometimes we can end up even more resentful when trying to actually address the issue. It feels like relationships should be easier… but if you’ve ever talked to someone in a relationship, you know relationships aren’t easy. After working with hundreds of couples… most of them come to therapy with a past resentment. Here are 5 steps you can take to manage a past hurt. I have gotten this from the Gottman Method. They talk about how to process the aftermath of a regrettable incident and that is what we are going over today. Listen up, because I want to help you heal those past resentments so you can feel safe and loved in your relationship… be happy… and allow the past incidents to be forgotten. The key to working through a past incident is to be able to talk about it, process it without it becoming a fight again. Couples need to work hard to commit to talking… not fighting about it. Then when they actually talk, here is what they should cover. 1. Start with how you feel. 2. Describe what about 3. Explain your triggers 4. Take responsibility 5. Constructive plans Now you know what it takes to heal from a past resentment. However, just talking about it is way simpler than it sounds. You know this if you have ever tried to process a past resentment with your partner. If you are stuck, this might be a good time to seek out advice from a local couples therapist to help you work through these steps. When couples can learn to do this, can turn a lonely and distant relationship into and peaceful and loving connection. This is not meant to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure and psychological or relationship issue. See a local couples therapist for advice for your relationship. Host- Amber Dalsin is a psychologist and couples therapist in Mississauga Ontario.
13:45
March 08, 2021
39. 5 Reasons Couples Therapy Will Not Work for You
5 Reasons Couples Therapy Will Not Work for You If your relationship needs help, but you are not sure if couples therapy is for you, this relationship will help clarify why you should not do couples therapy. When couples come to therapy many are in joint agreement they need help, whereas sometimes it is one dragging the other. Since therapy can have a stigma, many people can be fearful o try it out. So here is why you should not.. Save your money and do not engage in therapy if: 1. Domestic Violence is Present in The Relationship. 2. One Partner Has Already Decided the Relationship Is Over 3. There Is A Relationship Secret 4. Wanting the Therapist to Take Your Side 5. Lack of Action Outside of Session Now you know why you should not. But if you are considering dipping your toes into a therapy session… you can try that without jumping all the way in.. well you are doing that by listening to this episode. But therapy should include theory and strategy to help you achieve your goals. Without strategy… it's just a venting session. If you want to see some strategy behind what loving and successful couples do, I have 6 little steps for you that I teach my couples. There are 6 small actions couples can take each week to reignite their love and keep their relationship stronger. To get this check out the FREE guide 6 small things successful and loving couples do. To get it hit pause and text 1-313-710-9683 and text successful to get the pdf sent right to your phone. This guide will set you up to understand the simple steps to creating a long-lasting love. I hope you have some ideas about why you should not try couples therapy. This is not meant to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any psychological or relationship issue. See a couples therapist in your area for advice for your specific relationship. Host- Amber Dalsin is a psychologist and couples therapist in Mississauga Ontario.
11:12
March 01, 2021
38. Improve your COMMUNICATION SKILLS with your partner
Improve your COMMUNICATION SKILLS with your partner. Discover how to express your inner feelings with pushing your partner away. (and even hear their inner feelings too). I have seen too many couples feel like they are living parallel lives with their partners. Many couples feel lonely in their marriage and feel like it should be easier. I get what it’s like to be drifting apart without a clear way to steer the ships back together. By hitting the relationship research and truly doing my best to put the theory into practice, I have transformed by own relationship and what to give you the tools to do that too. In this episode we discuss: Instead to improve your communication here are some steps you can take. 1. Look at timing. 2. Work on being a great listener 3. Communicate back what you have heard 4. Ask questions 5. When your partner is done share your point of view. Remember there are always different ways to look at things. To improve your communication take time to practice. Want help? Check out the emotional intimacy cheat sheet. IT’s a guide to help you create a speaker-listener exercise with your partner, with done for you questions to ask your partner os you can practice your skills. Text sheet to 1-313-710-9683 to get your copy of the emotional intimacy cheat sheet so you can try this out for yourself. This will help you develop the tools to create connection. That way you can stop living in a lonely relationship, that feels like you keep drifting farther apart. Instead learn what it's like to cultivate connection, feel respected and like what you have to say really matters. Until next time remember communication with your partner is really a skill so keep practicing. This podcast is for informational purposes only. Host- Amber Dalsin is a psychologist and couples therapist in Mississauga Ontario.
11:32
February 22, 2021
37. Secrets behind creating a love that lasts with different attachment styles
Secrets behind creating a love that lasts with different attachment styles. How to break free from connection problems, even if one partner is avoidant or the other is anxious. Many couples want a safe connection, with open communication. They want the rejection, loneliness, disrespect or the fear of not being enough for their partner to end. They just want to feel… safe. In this episode we are going to cover what attachment styles are, and a simple tool that can help create connection no matter your attachment styles. We use the TV show Bridgeton to illustrate different attachment styles. We discuss the two dimensions of attachment: avoidance and anxiety. We review and the four attachment styles: secure, anxious, avoidant, and anxious-avoidant. The sound relationship house and building love maps. How to create connection through friendship. If you feel like you need help connecting with your partner I’ve got a simple template for you to conversations to increase connection between you and your partner. I want to teach you to empower yourself and your partner with done-for-you questions to ask each other to deepen emotional communication. Get it now, click the link, put in your information, and have the cheat sheet delivered right to your inbox. https://www.emberrelationshippsychology.com/emotional-intimacy-cheat-sheet This podcast is not meant to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any medical, mental or relationship issue. Seek out a local couples therapist in your area to see if this information is right for your relationship. Host- Amber Dalsin is a psychologist and couples therapist in Mississauga Ontario.
21:06
January 25, 2021
36. How to calmly bring up a sensitive topic
How to calmly bring up a sensitive topic. Because past pains can cause current sore spots. In this episode, we cover 4 steps to bring up a sensitive topic. We review a predictor of divorce and how to prevent it We talk about how to calm down and why. We discuss communication and timing. The text number is 1(313)710-9683 This podcast is for informational purposes only. Host- Amber Dalsin is a psychologist and couples therapist in Mississauga Ontario.
11:38
January 19, 2021
34. Catastrophic Couples Conflict and How To Prevent It
Catastrophic Couples Conflict and How To Prevent It Transform fretful fights to calm conversations. In this episode, we are going to discuss 2 types of problems in relationships and how couples get stuck in fretful fights. We will answer the questions: So why are you fighting with your partner anyways? Are fights even normal in relationships? Do all couples fight? We review common cognitive distortions in relationships. We discuss the two things that happen in all couples conflicts. I teach out about the number one predictor of divorce and how to overcome it. One of the tools to overcome this predictor of divorce is the 3 Step Script: Talking So He Listens. Simply text 1-313-710-9683 to download the simple and powerful template. This podcast is for informational purposes only. See a couples therapist in your area for specific advice for your specific relationship. Host- Amber Dalsin is a psychologist and couples therapist in Mississauga Ontario.
13:09
January 04, 2021
33. 3 Steps to Communicating So He Listens
Simple Strategy to Be HEARD & Understood To be heard, understood, respected, appreciated, connected - fundamental desire. This human needs is found in all races, religions, and groups- its woven into the fabric of our being. If you’ve wondered the strategy to use, so that he will listen, this is the episode for you. To discuss the episode, we are going to use an example from the TV show the Crown and how in this one conversation Prince Charles (at least momentarily focuses on his relationship and not with that of his mistress). You can tell what I have been watching as you listen to the episodes. Princess Diana and Prince Charles and a key moment between them, where they are both feeling, heard, understood, and connected. I want to point out how right they were (or how right the writers of the TV show were). We are going to look at the 3 steps to be heard and understood. Start with feelings Describe the facts of the story you are telling yourself Let your partner be the hero not the villain If you want to follow along with a PDF of this script, simply text the word SCRIPT to 1 313 710 9683. This podcast is for informational purposes only. See a couples therapist in your area for specific advice for your specific relationship. Host- Amber Dalsin is a psychologist and couples therapist in Mississauga Ontario.
16:26
December 28, 2020
32. A Mistake that STOPS Communication
A Mistake that STOPS Communication Avoid doing this if you want good communication with your spouse. To illustrate a mistake that most people make when they are communicating, this episode looks at an interaction between Princess Margaret and her husband that I witnessed watching the TV show the Crown. Now, I have no idea if this is what she was really like, and as TV does it made for some really interesting marriage moments. Season 3, Episode 3 on Netflix. In this episode we discuss: Relationship communication Enduring vulnerabilities Relationship contempt Relationship conflict Relationship repair Divorce What communication mistakes Toxic communication patterns This podcast is for information only. See a couples therapist in your area for help with your relationship problems. Host- Amber Dalsin is a psychologist and couples therapist in Mississauga Ontario.
10:28
December 14, 2020
31. Secrets To Successful Relationship Repairs
Secrets To Successful Relationship Repairs Have you wondered why relationship repairs are the most frequent post I make on Instagram? @emberrelationshippsychology This episode is about the power of relationship repairs. Imagine, you and your partner start sliding down the nasty spiral, the way all your big fights start, and then one of you quickly does a ninja move and halts the process, reconnecting you, getting you back on track. A repair. On a cold snowy January day, I pulled up to a restaurant and saw my future husband sitting outside on a bench in the cold. My heart fluttered in my chest and I knew that he was special. He would teach me about passionate love, and within 2 weeks he would also teach me about heartbreak. In this episode we talk about: Preventing conflict spirals What makes relationship repairs work How to stop fighting with your spouse Emotional connection How to stop a fight Communication in relationships This podcast is for information only. See a couples therapist in your area for help with your relationship problems. Host: Amber Dalsin is a psychologist and couples therapist in Mississauga Ontario.
10:32
December 07, 2020
30. Is Porn Bad For Relationships
Is Porn Bad For Relationships? Show Notes In this episode we are going to look at when pornography is helpful and when pornography is harmful in relationships. We will outline the negative symptoms related to your partner watching pornography. Understanding Porn Use, The Confidential Information No One Talks About. In this podcast we discuss: So, is  pornography bad? Positive and negative impacts on relationships. How pornography leads to betrayal. Positive ways pornography can be used in relationships. Negative emotions related to learning about your partner watching pornography. Reasons your partner watches pornography. Check out the free PDF guide: Do You Have These Negative Symptoms Related To Your Partner Watching Pornography? This podcast is for informational purposes only. Seek a couples therapist in your area for specific advice to help your unique problems. Host: Amber Dalsin., M.Sc., Psychologist. She does Couples Therapy in Toronto. She does online individual relationship counseling and online couples therapy.
10:26
November 23, 2020
29. 5 Ways to Build Love Maps
5 Ways to Build Love Maps The crux of a solid relationship In this episode we are discussing LOVE MAPS. What is a love map anyway? It is knowing your partner’s inner world and having mental space for their experience and what is going on in their life. We are going to get to know more about these love maps and why they are a foundational part of relationship success. We look at three evidence-based strategies for building love maps and two strategies thought up by my couples. We discuss interventions from the Gottman Method and the Book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work : A practical guide from the country's foremost relationship expert by John Gottman and Nan Silver. We specifically look at the chapter on Principle 1 Enhancing Love Maps and the exercises on pages 52-60. Relationship Psych Episodes Discussed in This Episode Are: In the previous episode, how to get him to finally listen to you we hear the stories of five women and their emotional reactions to not being heard. Episode 26 emotional intimacy: a simple strategy that builds connection episode 16 The communication mistake that is preventing you from being heard and how to fix it This podcast is for informational purposes only. Seek a couples therapist in your area for specific advice to help your unique problems. Host: Amber Dalsin., M.Sc., Psychologist. She does Couples Therapy in Toronto. She does online individual relationship counseling and online couples therapy.
19:26
November 16, 2020
27: Almost as good as FREE couples therapy
Can’t afford couples therapy, and need to get clear on what to do to improve your relationship? This is the episode for you. Chris Harder- at Fast Foundations 2 Day Event shared a great tool to understand your problems, how to fix them, and what you need to achieve the solution. The stop, start, and find a method! In this episode, we discuss Kate and Toby and what happened in their marriage after they give birth to their child, Jack, who has a visual disability. We review how without knowing what they were doing they use the stop, start, find method. If your relationship is hanging on by a threat and you are typing “free couples therapy” into your search engine, try this method. Episodes referenced in this episode are: Relationship Psych - episode 24: 4 ways to create a fight Relationship Psych -episode 25: Communication Skills for couples This relationship podcast is meant for information purposes. See a couples therapist in your area for relationship advice for your specific relationship. Host: Amber Dalsin., M.Sc., Psychologist. She does Couples Therapy in Toronto. She does online individual relationship counseling and online couples therapy.
10:24
November 02, 2020
26. Emotional Intimacy: a simple strategy that builds connection
Emotional intimacy a simple strategy that builds connection End loneliness and disconnection in less than 10-20 minutes a day In this episode we discuss: What builds emotional intimacy Questions to ask for emotional intimacy The difference between creating emotional intimacy in the TV show Love is Blind vs. Raised By Wolves. This podcast is not meant to diagnose, treat prevent or cure any medical, mental health, or relationship problem. Talk to a couple's therapist in your area for help for your specific relationship issues. Host: Amber Dalsin., M.Sc., Psychologist. She does Couples Therapy in Toronto. She does online individual relationship counseling and online couples therapy.
10:53
October 19, 2020
25. COMMUNICATIONS skills for couples
COMMUNICATION Skills for couples. Even the best couples have conflict- how to stop disconnection in its tracks. In this podcast we discuss: The enemy in the relationship: the conflict cycle. Feeling heard and understood How to do everyday communication Levine & Heller’s book Attached, and the reasons for effective communication Tips to help couples communicate: Use empathy Use body language Stop interrupting Ask good questions Free Guide  How to finally get him to listen to you. www.emberrelationshippsychology,com This relationship podcast is not meant to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any medical, mental health, or relationship problem. It should not be seen as relationship advice for your specific relationship. Seek out couples therapy or marriage counseling by a practitioner in your area for advice for your specific problem. Host: Amber Dalsin., M.Sc., Psychologist. She does Couples Therapy in Toronto. She does online individual relationship counseling and online couples therapy.
11:52
October 05, 2020
24. 4 Ways to Create a Fight
4 Ways to Create a Fight If Aliens wanted to know how to have a conflict, this is how you would do it. In this episode, we explore what aliens would see on their 3D TV screen if they were watching couples on early do conflict in a way that’s going to lead to problems. What is talked about: The Gottman’s Four Horsemen Stonewalling Criticism Contempt Defensiveness Other episodes discussed in this podcast- Relationship Psych- Episode 5, 4 Doomed Communication Patterns Free Guide  How to finally get him to listen to you. www.emberrelationshippsychology.com This relationship podcast is not meant to diagnose, treat, prevent, or cure any medical, mental health, or relationship problem. It should not be seen as relationship advice for your specific relationship. Seek out couples therapy or marriage counseling by a practitioner in your area for advice for your specific problem. Host: Amber Dalsin., M.Sc., Psychologist. She does Couples Therapy in Toronto. She does virtual individual relationship counseling and virtual couples therapy.
13:04
September 28, 2020
23. 3 Secrets to Emotional Intimacy
3 Secrets to Emotional Intimacy Tips to get the emotional connection you want. Feeling got and understood by your partner really feels nice. This episode is all about how to feel close, connected and create more security with our partners. In this episode we discuss: Psychologist Jim Coan’s research on partner’s buffering pain How to create emotional connection Unhelpful behaviors in relationships Stopping negative conflict Ending problem cycles Creating rituals of connection Ideas for happy homecomings Relationship Psych Episodes Discussed in this Podcast Episode: Episode 22: maladaptive relationship behavior Episode 20: your brain on love Episode 7: how to create emotional intimacy with your partner To get the free guide How to Get Him to Finally Listen to You visit www.emberrelationshippsychology.com This relationship podcast is not meant to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any medical, mental health, or relationship problem. It should not be seen as relationship advice for your specific relationship. Seek out couples therapy or marriage counseling by a practitioner in your area for advice for your specific problem. Host: Amber Dalsin., M.Sc., Psychologist. She is a Marriage and Family Therapist in Toronto. She does virtual individual relationship counseling and virtual couples therapy.
12:05
September 21, 2020
22. Maladaptive Relationship Behaviour
Maladaptive Relationship Behaviour. 2 Steps towards change. In this episode, we discuss early childhood experiences and family influences and the impact on romantic relationships. I've been struck over the last week, doing marriage therapy in Toronto about how our early experience shape our adult relationships. In this episode we discuss: Relationship influenced by our history Emotional triggers in relationships Perpetual problems Gridlock perpetual problems Book Seal Team Six by Howard E Wasdin and Stephen Templin Don Cole, Gottman Trainer, Center For Relationship Wellness and his comments about background history in relationships. Teresa Wiseman and her 4 parts of Empathy Episode 2 HELP, My Partner is Driving Me Crazy, on Relationship Psych- The Podcast Free Guide How to Finally Get Him to Listen to You available at www.emberrelationshippsychology.com This relationship podcast is not meant to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any medical, mental health, or relationship problem. It should not be seen as relationship advice for your specific relationship. Seek out couples therapy or marriage counseling by a practitioner in your area for advice for your specific problem. Host: Amber Dalsin., M.Sc., Psychologist. She is a Couples Therapist in Toronto. She does virtual individual relationship counseling and virtual couples therapy.
17:43
September 14, 2020
21. The SECRET to GREAT Sex in Long-Term Relationships
The SECRET to GREAT Sex in Long-Term Relationships How to make your sex life better with your spouse. It’s normal to want to have sex and it’s normal to not really want to have sex, so there is no road map for how to make sex great in a long term relationship, but there is a secret that can help. The secret is communication. In this episode, we explore Masters and Johnson’s research on sexual response and how to communicate about desire, arousal, and resolution. We cover how to talk about initiating sex, and things to share with your partner that you like. Episodes references in this episode are: Episode 20- Your Brain on Love Episode 11- 4 Point Road Map to Increase Sexual Satisfaction in your Relationship This podcast is not meant to diagnose, treat, prevent, or cure any medial, mental health, or relationship problem. It should not be seen as relationship advice for your specific relationship. Seek out couples therapy by a practitioner in your area for advice for your specific problem.
11:56
August 24, 2020
20. Your Brain on Love
Your brain on love. Sexual chemicals and how they lead to love in the brain. Decline of the Hot and Heavy Stage of a Relationship- in this episode we are going to explore the impact the brain’s chemosignals in early attraction. Chemosingals are the glue that bond early relationships. The primary reason for sexual chemosignals is to bond couples together long enough to start a relationship and possibly a family. While there are many, in this episode talk about two chemosignals that facilitate attraction and relationships. 1.  Pheromones 2. Oxytocin Keeping connection alive, when chemosignals are quiet Making the brain work in your favor in a long term relationship. Tips to keep your relationship alive. This podcast is not meant to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any medical, mental health or relationship issue. If your relationship is struggling check out local couples therapy in your area for help, or a local health provider. Before making changes it’s a good idea to check with your local provider.
09:53
August 17, 2020
19. What to do when you’re mad at your significant other
What to do when you’re mad at your significant other 3 steps to being angry and keeping your partner close (ish) The 3 concepts are 1. Time out 2. Remember the flip flop 3. Focus on yourself Partner will make us mad… its inevitable… but we can keep working to do anger like our partner is someone we love. This podcast is not meant to diagnose, treat prevent or cure any medical or relationship problem. Seek couples therapy in your area for help for your specific relationship.
16:34
August 03, 2020
18. How Loving Relationships Become Angry Relationships
How Loving Relationships Become Angry Relationships And little itty bitty actions that make relationships better. This episode looks at what happens when we fall in love, actions we take that make love work, how to stay in love, and how to prevent divorce. In this episode we discuss: Caring days Relationship success What makes relationships work Why we fall in love How we stay in love How relationship problems are created This podcast is not meant to diagnose, treat, prevent, or cure any medical, mental health, or relationship issues. Check with a provider in your area for specific relationship advice to help your unique relationship. Host: Amber Dalsin., M.Sc., Psychologist. She is a Couples Therapist in Toronto. She does individual relationship counseling and couples therapy.
19:37
July 27, 2020
17. Why Partners Tune-out of Difficult Conversations
Why Partners Tune-out of Difficult Conversations 3 ways to keep them engaged One of the most common problems my clients in couples therapy tell me about their frustrations when their partner emotionally checks out of a conversation, or physically leaves. I’ve seen some couples who can quickly remedy this problem fixing it in a few sessions, where other couples see me for years with the same problem. If you want to be one of the couples, that the problem is quickly solved for, this is the episode for you. Theses step are simple in concept, hard in practice. But if your goal is for your partner to stay, think about your role. Certainly, there are things they can do to work on their part and practice staying…. But hey, this episode is about ways you can keep your partner engaged. The 3 ways we covered to keep your partner engaged are: 1. Commitment to keeping thigs emotionally safe 2. Ask for what you need 3. Explain your feelings in a softer way This podcast is not meant to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any medical or relationship problem. Check with your health care provider or couples therapist before making changes.
16:01
July 20, 2020
16. The communication mistake that is preventing you being heard and how to fix it
The communication mistake that is preventing you from being heard and how to fix it. What to do to finally be listened to. If you’re wanting to feel close, connected, listened to, respected, understood, and like you matter. This is the episode you have been waiting for. To really feel heard there ARE certain communication styles that put a dead halt on passion. In this episode we discuss the concept ARE, Are You With Me? From Sue Johnson’s book, Hold Me Tight, and what this has to do with being listened to. We learn from her concept a couple of simple steps to take to increase our chances of finally getting our partners to listen to us. Other episodes referenced in this show are Episode 5: 4 Doomed Communication Patters. This podcast is not meant to diagnose, treat, prevent, or cure any medical, mental health, or relationship issue. If your relationship is struggling check out local couples therapy in your area for help, or a local health provider. Before making changes it’s a good idea to check with your local provider.
16:37
July 13, 2020
15. Why Some Relationships Survive Affairs- And Other’s Don’t
What makes the relationships survive different? Understand what makes a relationship succeed or fail after cheating from the privacy of your home. We discuss: Normal reactions to learning about an affair What not to talk about after an affair How to make amends for an affair How to know it’s time to have sex after an affair How to rebuild trust after an affair. This podcast is not meant to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure and medical, mental health, or relationship condition. Talk to a health, or relationship provider in your area before making changes.
13:40
July 06, 2020
14. The Truth About Creating Emotional Intimacy
The Truth About Creating Emotional Intimacy 2 secrets behind getting him to open up. In this episode we discuss: What emotional intimacy is to him Differences in gender and connection Conditions for emotional intimacy This podcast is not meant to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure and any medical, relationship, or mental health problem, check with your health care provider or local couples therapist before making changes.
08:29
June 29, 2020
13. Why Tears Make Your Partner Run Away
When you need soothing the most, it's when your partner turns their back. Understand the mystery about why it is so hard to stay and give comfort. In this podcast we discuss: Differences in what tears mean Fight/flight/freeze response to tears Softening emotions Compromise Repair statements See repair statements on Instagram @relationshippsych This podcast is not meant to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any mental health or relational issue. Talk to a provider in your local area for more support.
08:56
June 22, 2020
12. 3 Secrets To Fighting Fair
Don’t let fighting become the root of evil in your relationship. Nasty fighting can turn even the best of relationships sour. In this relationship advice podcast we talk about: How to fight fair How to solve conflict with your partner How to take breaks Going to bed angry Differences in how men and women to conflict Coming to terms with taking breaks in a fight Remember the allure to talk about the problem, and talk about the solution instead Putting conflict into perspective Optimal Heart Rate for conflict with your spouse (Teachings from The Gottman’s) This podcast is not meant to diagnose, treat, prevent, or cure any medical, mental health, or relationship issues. Check with a provider in your area for advice to help your unique relationship.
11:18
June 15, 2020
11: 4 Point Road Map To Increase Sexual Satisfaction In Your Relationship
If your sexual relationship is as stale as month-old bread this podcast will lay the steps to create a passionate and enjoyable sex life. In this relationship advice podcast episode, we are talking about the following: How to talk about sex with your partner How to initiate sex with your partner Sex idea to keep it interesting How to decline sex with your partner Talking about sex likes and dislikes This podcast is not meant to diagnose, treat, prevent, or cure any medical, mental health, or relationship issues. Check with a provider in your area for advice to help your unique relationship.
11:58
June 11, 2020
10: If We Are HARD WIRED Differently, Are We Destined For Divorce?
What does it mean about you if you and your partner are very different? In this podcast we discuss differences in relationships. Some topics include: Being different than your partner Arguments Feeling invisible and taken for granted The movie The Darkest Hour and lessons from Clementine. How to accept your partner’s negative qualities. This podcast is not meant to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure mental health or relational issues. For Treatment, talk a mental health or relationship professional in your area for advice specific to your relationship.
11:06
June 03, 2020
9: My Partner Pulls Away Under Stress, HELP
My Partner Pulls Away and it HURTS. Help. How to deal with a partner that pulls away when they are under pressure. In this episode we are going to be discussing some over-generalizations about how men and women typically do conflict and deal with emotions. Surely this is not the case of all women and all men, and in same sex couples it may look a little bit different, but some patterns will also be the same. Most of the literature comes from research on heterosexual couples. For more relationship advice check out The Canadian Centre for Psychology and Relationship Resources, CCPRR.ca, where relationship advice is a simple click away. This podcast is not meant to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure mental health or relational issues. For Treatment, talk a mental health or relationship professional in your area for advice specific to your relationship.
12:04
May 26, 2020
8: How to Whisper SWEET NOTHINGS
How to say simple words to make your partner blush. In Gary Chapman’s book, 5 love languages he talked about the language words of affirmation. You use words to encourage, affirm, and appreciate. While this comes naturally to some, I have watched many couples struggle to find the words that connect to their partners hearts and ears. The whisper of a sweet nothing is just a few words that expresses how you feel, or what your partner means to you. You don’t need to be a poet to craft the right thing to say. Simply expressing your heart is the language of the soul. This episode was inspired as I watched Season 3 Episode of The Medici. The show depicts the love story of Lorenzo and Clarice. It’s far from a your typical perfect romance, but there is a quiet love that resonates through the show. It made me think we do not need to wait until our loved ones are ill to whisper words of love, adoration or kindness. We can do it day in and day out, so if they were to ever fall ill, they would already know our true love and appreciation for them. How do you speak sweet nothings? 1. Speak your truth 2. Take small steps that feel comfortable 3. Use compliments 4. Share memories If this feels hard, check out the guide Rose Colored Glasses. Each week there is a prompt followed by a place for reflection to share a memory or concept. You could use this as a way to share with your partner how you feel, to share the sweet nothings. This podcast is not meant to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any medical, mental health or relational problem. Check with your treatment provider to see if the advice is for you.
08:36
May 20, 2020
7: How To Create EMOTIONAL INTIMACY With Your Partner
The secrets every woman wants to know. After doing couples therapy with hundreds of couples, I routinely encounter similar problems as I assess couples. It takes different forms, but sounds like this “I can’t get my partner to open up,” “I wish we were closer,” “we don’t have intimacy,” “my partner doesn’t talk,” and many more comments indicating that emotional connection is lacking. In this episode we discuss the TV and Book Series Outlander by Diana Gabaldon. We look at the scene in season 1 episode 7 The Wedding, where they need to consummate their marriage. In this episode we discuss: How questions get your partner to open up How to create emotional connection How to pick the right time to talk to your partner How to talk your partner will listen For more on questioning and getting your partner to open up, check out the blog Use Questions to Create Emotional Intimacy with Your Partner. If you want questions, check out our Game Questions Uniting Couples, where couples can get to know each other’s inner world while enjoying a competitive spirit. Check out the instagram posts @relationshippsych This podcast, is not meant to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any medical, mental or relational problem. Check with your health or relationship therapist before making changes. 
11:12
May 18, 2020
6: Stay in LOVE Through Lock-Down
5 Conversations to remedy stay-at-home order fueled problems.  "I thought love would be my cure, but now it's my disease." – Alicia Keyes, "Love Is My Disease". Don’t let this quote speak the truth for you. Spending 24/7 with someone you adore can make even the greatest love turn to frustration. Learn how to transform irritations into productive conversations, so you can look at your partner with adoration in your eyes. Do your best to make these conversations positive and productive. Stay away from pointing out what is wrong, blaming, criticizing, taking shots, defending, or withdrawing. Work to state your wishes and dreams as positive needs, not what you do not want. Positive need: “I wish we could spend an hour together each day.” Pointing out what is wrong is: “We don’t spend enough time together.” In this podcast we discuss 5 conversations 1. Alone vs. Together Time 2. Rituals of Connection 3. Expressing Appreciation 4. Household Tasks 5. Date Night Check out our Guide to Stay in LOVE Through Lock-Down, on sale until June 1, 2020. https://www.ccprr.ca/shop-relationship-resources/guide-to-stay-in-love-through-lock-down This podcast is not meant to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any medical, mental health, or relationship problem. Check with your health care provider before making changes. 
12:40
May 15, 2020
5: 4 Doomed Communication Patterns
Stop doing these now, if you want your relationship to last. John Gottman terms these four patterns in a relationship, the four horsemen of the apocalypse because they are so bad for relationships. Even the masters of relationships do them from time to time, but the key is catching it quickly and making relationship repairs. The 4 horsemen of the apocalypse are 1. Criticism 2. Defensiveness 3. Stonewalling 4. Contempt This podcast is not meant to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any medical or mental health condition. Check with your health care provider before making changes.
10:57
May 13, 2020
4: 6 Tips to Help Your Partner Through Cabin Fever
If self-isolation is hitting your partner's mood hard, here are some simple steps you can take.  From feeling useless to action you can take. Here are 6 things couples can do to fight the dark days of cabin fever together. This episode had been adapted from the Blog on Depression at the Canadian Centre for Psychology and Relationship Resources. You can check out the blog here https://www.ccprr.ca/blog/6-tips-to-help-your-partner-through-depression Quarantine Low mood Depression physical distancing Social distancing  This podcast is not meant to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any medical or mental illness. Check with your health care provider before making changes. 
10:27
May 11, 2020
3: ARGUING and Keeping Your Relationship INTACT
Do conflict like your partner is someone you love. “Wishes are thorns, he told himself sharply. They do us no good, just stick into our skin and hurt us.” ―A Face Like Glass, Frances Hardinge Call them wishes or expectations, when they don’t come true they hurt. It’s okay to have expectations, but they also require flexibility and disappointment. Why do we argue? Arguing is a normal part of relationships, the goal is understanding. Why arguments continue Do arguments like your partner is someone you love. Blog link  https://www.ccprr.ca/blog/arguing-and-keeping-your-relationship-intact This podcast is not meant to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any medical or mental health condition. check with your health care provider before making changes. 
15:13
May 10, 2020
2: HELP, My Partner is Driving Me Crazy!
“My wife and I play this fun game in quarantine, it’s called “Why Are You Doing It That Way?” and there are no winners.” (retrieved from @thedad who reposted @ericspiegelman) While this podcast has been in the making in my mind for over a year, it’s birth will be in the middle of (hopefully end) of the COVID-19 Stay at home, physical distancing. Many of us are at home with our partners…. Leaving our blood to boil and tension to mount in our bodies when we see another dirty dish that hasn’t made it to the dishwasher, someone entering the house and not washing their hands, to name a few. In this podcast we are going to cover how love turns to anger. Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy? For More check out the Blog: My Partner is Driving Me Crazy, Help! https://www.ccprr.ca/blog/my-partner-is-driving-me-crazy-help For more on our services check outhttps://www.ccprr.ca/ This podcast is not meant to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any medical or mental health condition. check with your health care provider before making changes. 
11:09
May 10, 2020
1: From FAILED Marriage to Soul Crushing Love
Do you want long lasting love? Do you want to understand what prevents divorce? This podcast is going to provide the roadmap to long lasting love. We will learn from the masters of love, as well as the disasters of love, in order to sort out the secret sauce of what makes a relationship work. Mentioned in the this podcast: Christine Padseky  Aaron Beck- Love is Never Enough Gottman Method Emotion Focused Therapy Cognitive Behavior Therapy  For more from the Canadian Centre for Psychology and Relationship Resources check out https://www.ccprr.ca/ This podcast is not meant to diagnose, treat, prevent or cure any medical or mental health condition. Check with your health care provider before making changes. 
12:52
May 10, 2020