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(ZEP_) Presents: Too Sweet Lambrusco's

(ZEP_) Presents: Too Sweet Lambrusco's

By Too Sweet Lambrusco's

The Zombie Eaters Podcast presents the new podcast from Rosie Doane: Too Sweet Lambrusco's!

Paulie Phirm and Billy Long Loins sit down each week and banter about music, the complexities of navigating in a world that has become overly-sensitive and staunchly politically correct. The same crude and overtly inflammatory humor from show creator and head writer Rosie Doane, under the pseudonym Paulie Phirm is in fine form and as cringe-worthy as ever.
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Currently playing episode

Don't Bring a Turd to a Gun Fight

(ZEP_) Presents: Too Sweet Lambrusco's Nov 15, 2022

00:00
01:11:44
Buffalo, Taylor Swift, Hominy Grits

Buffalo, Taylor Swift, Hominy Grits

The city of Buffalo still sucks. Taylor Swift is amazing. Why do people eat grits?

Apr 25, 202409:25
Did Diddy rape people with the guy from Jerry Maguire?

Did Diddy rape people with the guy from Jerry Maguire?

Paulie sits down with Derik "Dickout" Boyer and discuss Diddy, politics, and lots more. Enjoy.

Apr 22, 202445:55
Buy a Kia Rio and Move to Riverside County

Buy a Kia Rio and Move to Riverside County

Paulie gets caught laughing at a hobo during a windstorm, confronts a reckless driver outside of a Shakey's Pizza while his girlfriend's Blizzard melts in his car, and gives advice to his wealthy friend that always bitches about the cost of living in Southern California.

Mar 15, 202441:38
Colorblindness & Painting Depression

Colorblindness & Painting Depression

Paulie discusses activities for the colorblind, the most depressed person he has ever met, and horrible human behavior. Enjoy.

Feb 28, 202440:30
Driving While Asian

Driving While Asian

Socal is soaked again, and Asians are on the road.

Paulie Phirm takes a deep dive into the horrors of driving while Asian in the rain. Then later, asks the LGBTQ community to take a step back and relax. Enjoy.

Feb 20, 202445:09
Kill Yourselves, People of Buffalo

Kill Yourselves, People of Buffalo

People of Buffalo, you classless, miserable human beings. You boo Taylor Swift, and on top of it, you do what you do best...lose.

Jan 23, 202409:25
The Return - Season 3 premiere

The Return - Season 3 premiere

Too Sweet Lambrusco's Season 3 Premier! Only one Lambrusco today, but Paulie Firm has a lot to talk about including a broken wrist, white privilege, and cops with a sense of humor!


Jun 14, 202340:24
Don't Bring a Turd to a Gun Fight

Don't Bring a Turd to a Gun Fight

Today, Billy Long Loins comes own armed with an inferior poo which Paulie quickly annihilated. Later, Paulie tells stories from his families vacation which was a strange, annoying journey not from Milan to Minsk, but instead from San Diego to Santa Cruz.

Nov 15, 202201:11:44
Clint "Douché" Duggan

Clint "Douché" Duggan

Billy and Paulie discuss how to turn a genre of music and they people that listen to it into one single, individual entity that encapsulates how terrible they are. They then turn their attention to the sickening revelations of Ari Spears and Tiffany Haddish; Paulie does evoke the positive side of the unfortunate situation and how it getting rid of a woman as annoying as Tiffany Haddish is for the world. Later, Billy and Paulie dissect the importance of sobriety and choosing the group of friends to ride out the 2nd act of life. 

Nov 03, 202201:03:44
A Man and His Mustache in Apple Valley What Were You Doing in the Bathroom?

A Man and His Mustache in Apple Valley What Were You Doing in the Bathroom?

Lesbian weddings, bathroom interrogation, weird farts, and pre-planned flatulence as a means of hazardous war. 

Oct 25, 202258:36
Days of Loins & Roses

Days of Loins & Roses

Long Loins discusses reading music, Paulie only cares about sightseeing, causing wine envy, golf course cowboys, and ending disputes with a pistol. 

Sep 24, 202201:03:21
Häagen-Dazs Behaving Gayly

Häagen-Dazs Behaving Gayly

Rosie comes across an angry shopper at Trader Joe's who encounters something they are unhappy with and turns a delicious ice cream into something not so delicious. 

Sep 11, 202245:21
Poor Posture & A Company Whore

Poor Posture & A Company Whore

Long Loins had a tough week...

Sep 06, 202243:53
Sycophants are Sacrosanct Painting Portraits of the Dead

Sycophants are Sacrosanct Painting Portraits of the Dead

I sit down for a conversation with Oddball Foundation CEO Jason Wright

Aug 15, 202248:11
The Blueprint

The Blueprint

Paulie and Long Loins get into the laborious chore of going to the doctor, condolence and gravy shaming, and the state of the current culture. Later, Paulie tells a great story about his father. 

Aug 10, 202258:45
Poops and Priests and Prius's...oh my

Poops and Priests and Prius's...oh my

Long Loins and Paulie talk about the worst shit Paulie ever took, a solution to priests fucking children and Long Loins new Prius. 

Aug 06, 202234:02
Almost Engaged...

Almost Engaged...

Long Loins are Firm discuss almost disastrous miscommunications, family vacations, bribing cops with food, and Firm finally getting out...

Jul 28, 202259:07
Yurt that...

Yurt that...

Long Loins and Firm are joined by Robin and discuss pants-shitting sneezes, getting Shanghai'd, farmer's markets, and the crunchy new friend that Rosie made. 

Jul 28, 202245:52
Brunch: The Bi-Sexual of the M.E.A.L+ Community

Brunch: The Bi-Sexual of the M.E.A.L+ Community

Zack, Rosie, & Derik discuss the conventions of brunch and people's behavior at buffets, proper restroom and fart etiquette, and Zack begs to find out the truth about the priest. Later, Rosie talks about how he ended up on a cross country flight on Viagra, horseplay leading to a DUI, Zack spends several minutes forcing Derik to eat fart, and Rosie puts the final nail in the Liquid IV coffin. 

Jun 29, 202201:04:19
A Tacit Tumescent Tallywhacking

A Tacit Tumescent Tallywhacking

The boys are back. Long Loins shares his vacation stories, no priest is safe, and other tales of debauchery. 

Jun 29, 202249:10
Goat Yoga

Goat Yoga

Bill and Paulie discuss goat yoga, ethnic cleansing, banning bullets, and geographicals 

Jun 11, 202201:06:54
The fashionista, the Chef, the Bullet Problem in America, and Media Sensationalism

The fashionista, the Chef, the Bullet Problem in America, and Media Sensationalism

Paulie and Long Loins discuss picking out an outfit as a man, people who cook food and let their ego think the people who work with them are obligated to call them chef and other zen-like approaches other less entitled chefs take. Later, Paulie talks about his random prom with a Hindu named Swapna Komakula and how he had a boner the entire time. The show closes out with Paulie addressing the problem that is not being addressed. 

May 26, 202201:12:60
The Good Boy

The Good Boy

Long Loins gives Paulie the business about his on-again, off-again relationship, the little man living inside Paulie's mouth, and the liberal slant of Syracuse University. Later, they discuss job interviews and jealous friends that turn themselves into jealous girlfriends. 

May 21, 202201:03:02
My sweet friend

My sweet friend

All the joy is back in this weeks new episode. Enjoy!

May 15, 202201:08:32
You are not funny, and I hate you

You are not funny, and I hate you

Paulie and Billy discuss drunken family stories and life after liquor. 

May 15, 202259:59
Sweet Pete Mardukis and the 50 Pound Box of Expired Gummy Dicks

Sweet Pete Mardukis and the 50 Pound Box of Expired Gummy Dicks

Paulie's sister pranks Pete Mardukis, Long Loins reflects on a friend. Later, Paulie is all about the Boston Celtics.

Apr 28, 202238:40
Kyrie Irving got the middle finger from Tatum

Kyrie Irving got the middle finger from Tatum

Celtics basketball, John Frusciante, and Portland hipster dick heads 

Apr 20, 202201:24:07
White Braids, Doctors, and Pronouns

White Braids, Doctors, and Pronouns

Listen to the doctor, and do not use pronouns

Apr 13, 202255:24
A funky piece, the Sandinista, me, mother Mona Lisa, and John Frusciante

A funky piece, the Sandinista, me, mother Mona Lisa, and John Frusciante

Paulie and Long Loins discuss their favorite dance, stereotypes, guys who like cats and the women they kill, and lots of fun stuff!!!

Apr 06, 202201:20:33
Man with little mustache, city with bad smell and football team.

Man with little mustache, city with bad smell and football team.

Phirm & Long Loins return from vacation and are back with a bang. Paulie talks about how he tormented a former co-worker with a dumb mustache named Manoli. Long Loins has a Savanna Affair with a flexible banana, and Paulie wishes Will Smith and the city of Buffalo, New York would kill themselves already.
Mar 31, 202201:09:00
How bad is a bipolar 2 on the crazy Richter scale?

How bad is a bipolar 2 on the crazy Richter scale?

Long Loins and Paulie Firm discuss weird celebrity encounters in bathrooms, Paulie's hatred of the Los Angeles Lakers, etiquette all around and abrupt endings.

Mar 16, 202201:29:28
And plastic legs that reach up to his plastic bum.

And plastic legs that reach up to his plastic bum.

Arby's is a fine first date, never eating ribs like a gentleman, caterwauling bouncing 65 year old village feeders. 

Mar 14, 202201:03:33
Creamy Jesus

Creamy Jesus

Ponytails, awkward moments, the best Joker, and politics. 

Mar 09, 202201:08:31
"How did I become the wildcard?"

"How did I become the wildcard?"

In this episode, Paulie and Long Loins discuss the great Pete Mardukis and how Long Loins got hoodwinked by a Girl Scout. Then, Long Loins presents Paulie different scenario's in life and Paulie explains how he would handle them. 

Mar 02, 202201:22:20
"Why do you have a little pencil?"

"Why do you have a little pencil?"

Paulie and Long Loins discuss Paulie's penchant for little pencils, and how to consider a soft shoulder. Later, they discuss text stress and thinking people are banging Albertsons employees in the bathroom.

Feb 28, 202238:22
"You just used a word to describe a fart that I've never heard of."

"You just used a word to describe a fart that I've never heard of."

Paulie devises a one-bullet solution for the upcoming fiscal year.

Feb 14, 202252:31
"You Dress like a Well-Intentioned Lesbian from Bangor, Maine."

"You Dress like a Well-Intentioned Lesbian from Bangor, Maine."

Paulie rants about COVID restrictions and a professor with an attitude and a questionable wardrobe. Later, the guys rant about the peanut butter incident and a juggalo that decided to brand himself with something that is not attractive to anyone. 

Feb 09, 202201:09:58
The Life and Death of Arabian Arithmetic

The Life and Death of Arabian Arithmetic

Paulie and Billy talk about mercurial tricksters, tricking people into being racist, and bad Valentine's Day gifts and girlfriends pooping and farting. 

Feb 02, 202201:05:52
The District of Columbia's in the Cupboard

The District of Columbia's in the Cupboard

Bagels, bad football, and durian fruit farts 

Jan 26, 202247:44
"You've Been Itchy Since Abigail"

"You've Been Itchy Since Abigail"

Ben and Andrew take their seats in the (ZE) Studio to discuss Pokemon, being told to halt by a real life Jedi, and a bunch of other shit Rosie has no idea about. Later, Rosie's doctor figures out why he's been so itchy, and the ins and out of social media platforms for adult males. 

Jan 21, 202201:06:33
Chalk Talk

Chalk Talk

Long Shanks & Paulie firm discuss insincere advice, Hitler having Twitter and what it means for the rest of the world, and how horrible the writing is on Saturday Night Live. Later Paulie discusses how horrible the acting in Hollywood has become as a result of only talented actors being part of the #metoo movement. 

Jan 18, 202201:10:16
Ohio, Oklahoma, New Jersey, or Florida...Flat Hot & Dumb

Ohio, Oklahoma, New Jersey, or Florida...Flat Hot & Dumb

Billy Long Loins returns from the health and safety protocol and doesn't miss a beat. Paulie and Billy talk about a vending machine in Ohio with chili and sushi, Paulie's recent breakup, and the hatred Paulie still has for hipsters. cPrYtJQhOjPRsFbxd5SP
Jan 13, 202259:06
Puppies Dressed as Cats

Puppies Dressed as Cats

You are really going to love these puppies dressed as cats

Jan 03, 202201:04:57
If a girl is into fluids, that means she is going to poop and pee on you...

If a girl is into fluids, that means she is going to poop and pee on you...

Paulie and Mitch discuss situations when racism was funny and why it's dangerous to think a girl that's into fluids and does not want to pee and or poop on you is treading on dangerously unsafe waters.
Dec 30, 202101:03:23
The Day after Christmas and with Stereotypes Galore

The Day after Christmas and with Stereotypes Galore

Paulie Firm and Mitch talk about their holidays with family, the absence of a particular family member in a certain community, and the lifelong bond a person forms with their dog. Later, Paulie talks about a woman who escaped from nearly being raped by mind fucking the rapist and how she should give rape escape lessons to women.

Dec 29, 202101:01:26
"Do you Identify as an Almond?"

"Do you Identify as an Almond?"

Paulie tries to re-gift a gift Mitch gave him less than a week ago, Paulie discusses his hate of Oat Milk, and why he prefers almond milk. Later, Mitch talks about panties and it is weird as fuck, and so is the what an old man donated on his face.

Dec 20, 202101:15:21
A pervert can lead you to a waterbed but only you can stop them from jerking off your dick with their hand...

A pervert can lead you to a waterbed but only you can stop them from jerking off your dick with their hand...

In this episode Paulie and Mitch discuss why magicians are weird, small east coast towns versus big west coast towns, and why our lives are better today.

Dec 17, 202101:01:06
Christmas Gender Reveals, Foot Fetishes, and NYC vs LA

Christmas Gender Reveals, Foot Fetishes, and NYC vs LA

Paulie and Mitch B discuss a borderline pedophile that hit on Paulie's girlfriend, who pushed him through a table. Mitch's weird foot fetish, the ins and puts of Los Angeles people versus New York people, and being judged by Jesus. 

Dec 13, 202156:36
A Gang is not a community, you idiot”.

A Gang is not a community, you idiot”.

Paulie Firm explains the difference between a gang and a community to Mitch Buchannon, and they discuss how much Paulie hates humanity, but his need to compromise.
Dec 06, 202101:29:47
I'd rather someone physically hurt me than annoy me...

I'd rather someone physically hurt me than annoy me...

Episodes with music are only available on Spotify.

Paulie Firm confirms he'd rather be beat up by someone than annoyed by them.

Dec 04, 202146:57