(ZEP_) Presents: Too Sweet Lambrusco's
By Too Sweet Lambrusco's
Paulie Phirm and Billy Long Loins sit down each week and banter about music, the complexities of navigating in a world that has become overly-sensitive and staunchly politically correct. The same crude and overtly inflammatory humor from show creator and head writer Rosie Doane, under the pseudonym Paulie Phirm is in fine form and as cringe-worthy as ever.
(ZEP_) Presents: Too Sweet Lambrusco's Aug 10, 2022
Cheesy Bird Mess
Don't be a Karen, with your moose knuckle poking out of your yoga pants.
Trump is an idiot, and so are you Pt 2
Trump gets that he is missing his wife's birthday because he's in court for paying off a porn star he had an affair with.
Buffalo, Taylor Swift, Hominy Grits
The city of Buffalo still sucks. Taylor Swift is amazing. Why do people eat grits?
Did Diddy rape people with the guy from Jerry Maguire?
Paulie sits down with Derik "Dickout" Boyer and discuss Diddy, politics, and lots more. Enjoy.
Buy a Kia Rio and Move to Riverside County
Paulie gets caught laughing at a hobo during a windstorm, confronts a reckless driver outside of a Shakey's Pizza while his girlfriend's Blizzard melts in his car, and gives advice to his wealthy friend that always bitches about the cost of living in Southern California.
Colorblindness & Painting Depression
Paulie discusses activities for the colorblind, the most depressed person he has ever met, and horrible human behavior. Enjoy.
Driving While Asian
Socal is soaked again, and Asians are on the road.
Paulie Phirm takes a deep dive into the horrors of driving while Asian in the rain. Then later, asks the LGBTQ community to take a step back and relax. Enjoy.
Kill Yourselves, People of Buffalo
People of Buffalo, you classless, miserable human beings. You boo Taylor Swift, and on top of it, you do what you do best...lose.
The Return - Season 3 premiere
Too Sweet Lambrusco's Season 3 Premier! Only one Lambrusco today, but Paulie Firm has a lot to talk about including a broken wrist, white privilege, and cops with a sense of humor!
Don't Bring a Turd to a Gun Fight
Today, Billy Long Loins comes own armed with an inferior poo which Paulie quickly annihilated. Later, Paulie tells stories from his families vacation which was a strange, annoying journey not from Milan to Minsk, but instead from San Diego to Santa Cruz.
Clint "Douché" Duggan
Billy and Paulie discuss how to turn a genre of music and they people that listen to it into one single, individual entity that encapsulates how terrible they are. They then turn their attention to the sickening revelations of Ari Spears and Tiffany Haddish; Paulie does evoke the positive side of the unfortunate situation and how it getting rid of a woman as annoying as Tiffany Haddish is for the world. Later, Billy and Paulie dissect the importance of sobriety and choosing the group of friends to ride out the 2nd act of life.
A Man and His Mustache in Apple Valley What Were You Doing in the Bathroom?
Lesbian weddings, bathroom interrogation, weird farts, and pre-planned flatulence as a means of hazardous war.
Days of Loins & Roses
Long Loins discusses reading music, Paulie only cares about sightseeing, causing wine envy, golf course cowboys, and ending disputes with a pistol.
Häagen-Dazs Behaving Gayly
Rosie comes across an angry shopper at Trader Joe's who encounters something they are unhappy with and turns a delicious ice cream into something not so delicious.
Poor Posture & A Company Whore
Long Loins had a tough week...
Sycophants are Sacrosanct Painting Portraits of the Dead
I sit down for a conversation with Oddball Foundation CEO Jason Wright
The Blueprint
Paulie and Long Loins get into the laborious chore of going to the doctor, condolence and gravy shaming, and the state of the current culture. Later, Paulie tells a great story about his father.
Poops and Priests and Prius's...oh my
Long Loins and Paulie talk about the worst shit Paulie ever took, a solution to priests fucking children and Long Loins new Prius.
Almost Engaged...
Long Loins are Firm discuss almost disastrous miscommunications, family vacations, bribing cops with food, and Firm finally getting out...
Yurt that...
Long Loins and Firm are joined by Robin and discuss pants-shitting sneezes, getting Shanghai'd, farmer's markets, and the crunchy new friend that Rosie made.
Brunch: The Bi-Sexual of the M.E.A.L+ Community
Zack, Rosie, & Derik discuss the conventions of brunch and people's behavior at buffets, proper restroom and fart etiquette, and Zack begs to find out the truth about the priest. Later, Rosie talks about how he ended up on a cross country flight on Viagra, horseplay leading to a DUI, Zack spends several minutes forcing Derik to eat fart, and Rosie puts the final nail in the Liquid IV coffin.
A Tacit Tumescent Tallywhacking
The boys are back. Long Loins shares his vacation stories, no priest is safe, and other tales of debauchery.
Goat Yoga
Bill and Paulie discuss goat yoga, ethnic cleansing, banning bullets, and geographicals
The fashionista, the Chef, the Bullet Problem in America, and Media Sensationalism
Paulie and Long Loins discuss picking out an outfit as a man, people who cook food and let their ego think the people who work with them are obligated to call them chef and other zen-like approaches other less entitled chefs take. Later, Paulie talks about his random prom with a Hindu named Swapna Komakula and how he had a boner the entire time. The show closes out with Paulie addressing the problem that is not being addressed.
The Good Boy
Long Loins gives Paulie the business about his on-again, off-again relationship, the little man living inside Paulie's mouth, and the liberal slant of Syracuse University. Later, they discuss job interviews and jealous friends that turn themselves into jealous girlfriends.
My sweet friend
All the joy is back in this weeks new episode. Enjoy!
You are not funny, and I hate you
Paulie and Billy discuss drunken family stories and life after liquor.
Sweet Pete Mardukis and the 50 Pound Box of Expired Gummy Dicks
Paulie's sister pranks Pete Mardukis, Long Loins reflects on a friend. Later, Paulie is all about the Boston Celtics.
Kyrie Irving got the middle finger from Tatum
Celtics basketball, John Frusciante, and Portland hipster dick heads
White Braids, Doctors, and Pronouns
Listen to the doctor, and do not use pronouns
A funky piece, the Sandinista, me, mother Mona Lisa, and John Frusciante
Paulie and Long Loins discuss their favorite dance, stereotypes, guys who like cats and the women they kill, and lots of fun stuff!!!
Man with little mustache, city with bad smell and football team.
How bad is a bipolar 2 on the crazy Richter scale?
Long Loins and Paulie Firm discuss weird celebrity encounters in bathrooms, Paulie's hatred of the Los Angeles Lakers, etiquette all around and abrupt endings.
And plastic legs that reach up to his plastic bum.
Arby's is a fine first date, never eating ribs like a gentleman, caterwauling bouncing 65 year old village feeders.
Creamy Jesus
Ponytails, awkward moments, the best Joker, and politics.
"How did I become the wildcard?"
In this episode, Paulie and Long Loins discuss the great Pete Mardukis and how Long Loins got hoodwinked by a Girl Scout. Then, Long Loins presents Paulie different scenario's in life and Paulie explains how he would handle them.
"Why do you have a little pencil?"
Paulie and Long Loins discuss Paulie's penchant for little pencils, and how to consider a soft shoulder. Later, they discuss text stress and thinking people are banging Albertsons employees in the bathroom.
"You just used a word to describe a fart that I've never heard of."
Paulie devises a one-bullet solution for the upcoming fiscal year.
"You Dress like a Well-Intentioned Lesbian from Bangor, Maine."
Paulie rants about COVID restrictions and a professor with an attitude and a questionable wardrobe. Later, the guys rant about the peanut butter incident and a juggalo that decided to brand himself with something that is not attractive to anyone.
The Life and Death of Arabian Arithmetic
Paulie and Billy talk about mercurial tricksters, tricking people into being racist, and bad Valentine's Day gifts and girlfriends pooping and farting.
The District of Columbia's in the Cupboard
Bagels, bad football, and durian fruit farts
"You've Been Itchy Since Abigail"
Ben and Andrew take their seats in the (ZE) Studio to discuss Pokemon, being told to halt by a real life Jedi, and a bunch of other shit Rosie has no idea about. Later, Rosie's doctor figures out why he's been so itchy, and the ins and out of social media platforms for adult males.
Chalk Talk
Long Shanks & Paulie firm discuss insincere advice, Hitler having Twitter and what it means for the rest of the world, and how horrible the writing is on Saturday Night Live. Later Paulie discusses how horrible the acting in Hollywood has become as a result of only talented actors being part of the #metoo movement.
Ohio, Oklahoma, New Jersey, or Florida...Flat Hot & Dumb
Puppies Dressed as Cats
You are really going to love these puppies dressed as cats
If a girl is into fluids, that means she is going to poop and pee on you...
The Day after Christmas and with Stereotypes Galore
Paulie Firm and Mitch talk about their holidays with family, the absence of a particular family member in a certain community, and the lifelong bond a person forms with their dog. Later, Paulie talks about a woman who escaped from nearly being raped by mind fucking the rapist and how she should give rape escape lessons to women.
"Do you Identify as an Almond?"
Paulie tries to re-gift a gift Mitch gave him less than a week ago, Paulie discusses his hate of Oat Milk, and why he prefers almond milk. Later, Mitch talks about panties and it is weird as fuck, and so is the what an old man donated on his face.
A pervert can lead you to a waterbed but only you can stop them from jerking off your dick with their hand...
In this episode Paulie and Mitch discuss why magicians are weird, small east coast towns versus big west coast towns, and why our lives are better today.
Christmas Gender Reveals, Foot Fetishes, and NYC vs LA
Paulie and Mitch B discuss a borderline pedophile that hit on Paulie's girlfriend, who pushed him through a table. Mitch's weird foot fetish, the ins and puts of Los Angeles people versus New York people, and being judged by Jesus.