Save Your Bacon
By Zane Shaw and Will Palumbo
Save Your BaconSep 20, 2021
EP. 57 - If You Love Your Boats, Let 'Em Go
TALKING POINTS:
Rabbit Kicks
Flea Circuses
Mom's New Pager
Million Dollar Purchase
EP. 56 - DIY Will's Holes
Holes. Man, where do I start? Good for Will? Check. Good for trapping rats? Yup. Good for exclaiming to police officers when you're about to enter their town and rob a bank? It'd be against the law to not do that. Shoot why holes seem to so incredible Shia Labeouf made a whole movie about them!
TALKING POINTS:
Shipt Exclamations
No Mask, No Smiles
Human Mouse Trap
100 Mile Garage Sale
EP. 55 - Alpha Wolf Pack Leader of Vitamin City
Grab your Bean Supreme and let us all collectively scream into our iPhones about how we desperately need a red ball or shower onions! The power is in your folks! Today's episode really teaches you how to take control of your life and also how to re-create a very nostalgic piece of a Nickelodeon obstacle course.
TALKING POINTS:
Benefits of Coffee
Tricking the FBI into free stuff
Cardboard Aggro Crag
Tarot Card Breakup
EP. 54 - God-Like Beastloaf
DISCLAIMER** Please never do eye exercises while behind the wheel of a moving vehicle. People always talk about "don't drink and drive" and "don't text and drive". Not enough people mention how hard it is to drive when you're physically forcing exercise upon your eyes. Also, guys, lemme tell ya. You've never SEEN a meatloaf like the Beastloaf. The Grinch would look at his Roast Beast and think to himself "wow, I really pulled the short straw here, huh?"
TALKING POINTS:
Beastloaf
Eye Exercises
Matching Butt Tattoos
Forcing Bread Growth
EP. 53 - Steel-Shoed Shoes
Have you ever been magnetically pulled into a building at great speeds because you forgot you built it out of complete metal years ago? Ever thought about putting hot pockets ON a bigger pizza? You're so in the right place.
TALKING POINTS:
Walking Up Walls
Practice Holding Babies
My Bad Stalker
New Pizza Topping
EP. 52 - The Episode Where We Cause a Catastophe in Utah
Guys. I promise we'll eventually learn to turn the audio in our headphones down to get rid of that sweet juicy echo. But, until then, try to guess some laws that really shouldn't exist. Except for one, in the title, that kind of exists everywhere and really isn't creative at all. I mean AT ALL. Come on, Utah.
TALKING POINTS:
Awful Laws #1
Carving an A in the moon
Do's and Don'ts of starting a podcast
Heavens to Etsy
Sleeping Sitting Upright
Cheap proposal suggestions
EP. 51 - Bacon Bits: Legal Advice Compilation #1
Will is in North Carolina this week, so here’s a compilation of legal advice style questions we’ve had over previous episodes! In case it’s not clear, it’s definitely not real legal advice so please don’t walk through airports naked or think you can get away with murder. Both are very bad. Please don’t do either of them. Just listen and laugh.
TALKING POINTS:
Trespassed from Jail (EP. 3)
Wedding Jailers (EP. 5)
Driver’s Test w/ XBOX Controller (EP. 5)
No Clothes, No Problem (EP. 23)
Free Complimentary Murder (EP. 11)
Arrested for Being a Bad Actor (EP. 10)
EP. 50 - 1st Ever SYB Award Show
Join us anybody and everybody in celebrating the two year anniversary of Save Your Bacon this New Year's Eve with some goofy awards, some genuine love, and some final questions to wrap up the year!
TALKING POINTS:
Ned Nog
The SYB Award Show
What To Do With All of Your Saved Bacon
Could You Hate Someone Who Adores You?
EP. 49 - Glizzness School of Cocaine Bears
Did... Did Will just let Zane tell that dirty dishes question? All, sad news folks. I don't think a Glitzy Bear is a real thing. But, hey, prove me wrong. Hey, can I eat this fire stopping foam?
TALKING POINTS:
Sun Sized Human
Keep Hair or Go Bald
Is Fire Extinguisher Foam Edible
Can Bears Overdose on Cocaine
EP. 48 - Mistlefeet
MERRY CHRIS MASSEY TIME YOU BEAUTIFUL HUMANS (yes, it's true, a joke we made before MBMBaM)! It's a holiday time which means it's a holiday episode full of questions, stories, and shoutouts!
TALKING POINTS:
Chris Massey Time
Ned Nog
Mistlefeet
Real-Life Mario
Storytime Simulator
EP. 47 - The Moose Boose
EP. 46 - Ned Bigby Breaks the Podcast
Welp. Devon Werkheiser (Ned Bigby) gives such good advice that the podcast is over. That's how it works, right? Also, like for real, what is oatmeal? And why
TALKING POINTS:
Ned Nog #1
What Is Oatmeal
Pipe Cleaners Deluxe Edition
Heavens to Etsy #3
Sleeping on your arms
My Animatronic Snowman Nightlight
EP. 45 - Snoozooka
The ultimate heist to build a snowman out of fake snow has been put into motion. After all, all of the real snow now only falls one day of the year. Welp, off to get my underwear washed again. Yes, chef!
TALKING POINTS:
Jingle Bell Rock
The Big Annual Snowfall
The Grand Snoozooka Heist
My Only Clean Pair of Underwear
Forced to Donate to Charity
Heavens to Etsy #2
EP. 44 - Heavens to Etsy
Tis’ official the season where Chris Massey gets even Chris Massiver! Merry cherries all you tubulor catz! It’s time to grow some beans, make your loaves of milk, and spend eternity talking to your cat.
TALKING POINTS:
Domesticasted Leprechauns
Loaf of Milk
Heavens to Etsy #1
Eternal Cat
Elevator Jumprope
EP. 43 - Level 5 Cake Bakery
Oh, who am I? I'm just your average Joe who popped a high-quality circuit board into the oven and now I run the most successful cake shop on the east coast. It's that easy! However, if you bite into one of my cakes and start to sweat from the chili sauce, that's NOT ILLEGAL. That was my food. You didn't have to eat it. That's on you.
TALKING POINTS:
Zane on Rizzle
Upgraded Cake Baking
Booby Trapping Food
Simulation Storytime
EP. 42 - The Kombucha Fraud
Today, we light our turkeys on the doorstep in honor of part 2 of the trilogy that is "The Three Real Holidays". Will comes clean as a fraud and Zane comes clean as believing literally all of the world of evolution happened within 300 years. Why horse have hair?
EP. 41 - A Spooky Bacon Halloween
Happy Pumpkin Month everybody! An special early Halloween party is being thrown at the Bacon household today! Come join in for lots of amazing pumpkin names, bad movies, and spooky ghost stories made by us and computers!
Talking Points:
Goin' Ghost
Homecoming Pumpking and Queen
ActYourHeartOut (Pumpkin Month Edition)
Simulation Storytime
EP. 40 - Cirque de Top Golf
Pumpkin Month has officially arrived! May this episode feed you well, drop you off at your proper destination, and help you get to know your neighbors! We invented a subscription for life where the benefit of paying for life is literally what you're experiencing real-time currently.
Talking Points:
Cirque de Top Golf
9ft Wide Spider
Scary Wall Words
Going Ghost: Food Shrine
Life Premium
Costumes That'll Make You Web
EP. 39 - The Sundial of Step-count
It's dangerous to go the journey of life alone! Here! Take these convenient tips along to guide you on your quest! Don't convince your kids that Santa is a vending machine, always remember that "that'd" never means "that it", and don't get cocky when approaching shade with your sundial of step-count. Hold on, wait... Is that... Is that Tay Zonday?
Talking Points:
Bad Contractions
Bad Magic Sundial
Gumball Santa
All of The Purposes of Flour
Send in Questions: saveyourbaconpodcast@gmail.com
Listen to the podcast: https://anchor.fm/saveyourbacon
Support Us: https://anchor.fm/saveyourbacon/support
EP. 38 - One More Time, For The GPSs
Have you ever wondered why Zane always repeats the middle stuff "for the GPSs"? Finally! The truth comes forward! He spills the beans! Will, on the other hand, spills the beans on what makes a chameleon a bad chameleon.
TALKING POINTS:
Sounding Smart on Dates
Eating in the Parking Lot
Cabbage Prank
Bad Chameleons
Send in Questions: saveyourbaconpodcast@gmail.com
Listen to the podcast: https://anchor.fm/saveyourbacon
Support Us: https://anchor.fm/saveyourbacon/support
EP. 37 - Cloven Gumholes
Mint ice cream is the perfect mix between satisfying the need to eat AND the need to brush your teeth. If you really need to get naked in a hotel room just to show the buildings of the city that you too do not need clothes sometimes, just please at least make sure you’re on a floor that’s super high up. Never bring a hatchet to a knife fight.
TALKING POINTS:
Zane’s Teeth
Will’s Gumholes
My Cat Door
The Hatchet Story
Being Naked in Hotel Rooms
Send in Questions: saveyourbaconpodcast@gmail.com
Listen to the podcast: https://anchor.fm/saveyourbacon
Support Us: https://anchor.fm/saveyourbacon/support
EP. 36 - Seedless City Boy
I swear, I stayed up all night. Nothing. I fall asleep for 2 hours, and my friends swear the moon landed and lept back into the air again! It's rather interesting how we established that the moon causes all natural disasters, and yet our arms cause tornados. How long have grapes had seeds in them!?
TALKING POINTS:
Sparkling Water
Tornado Arms
Moon Landings and Jumpings
Teachers on Social Media
Seedless Watermelon
EP. 35 - Russell Crowe's Rainbow Juice
It must've been the crows gnawing at Zane's mic cord early on causing all those dang audio spikes. Have you ever wished there was an excuse to curl in a trash can? Maybe you're looking for the nearest Bison Lover Anonymous convention to give 'em a special gift! Either way, we've so got your back!
TALKING POINTS:
The Airpod's Hidden Talent
The Truth Behind The Hit Song "Be Happy"
The Legality of Bartering With Crows
The Puzzle That Is Creating Creative Questions
Squirrel Trash Envy
A Much Unneeded Bison
EP. 34 - Sisterhood of the Very Fast Jeans
Are you sprinting down the streets in your jeans with pocket full of free ham? Are you down to the base-level of your toilet paper tower! Need to wake up that lazy folk in a coma? We can help you out! Sponsored by Fast Jeans™
Talking Points:
Small Bones
Appreciating Cardboard
Fast Jeans
Toilet Paper Tower
Smelling Salts & Coma Boy
Free Hamples
EP. 33 - Hoco 2020: Come for the Steak, Stay for the Shake
We're coming to you live from our car as we leave Golden Corral! Thanks for tuning in as you carpool to HoCo this year! Will finally uncovers the truth behind why teachers created parent/teacher conferences. Zane explains how to get rid of somebody who keeps asking if they can model for you whenever you need a model. Look! A Robot! Remember, Steak 'n Shake after the dance! We'll be there! Come for the steak; stay for the shake!
Talking Points:
5:25 - Fist-Sized Flies Leasing Your House
13:00 - The Reason for Parent/Teacher Conferences
21:30 - ActYourHeartOut Episode #4
32:40 - Getting Rid of Bad Models
39:20 - Aren’t We All Just Meat Robots?
SEND US YOUR QUESTIONS:
E-Mail: saveyourbaconpodcast@gmail.com
SUPPORT THIS PODCAST:
EP. 32 - Trampoline Bean Dream
Zane’s dying computer gives his microphone skipping problems as he rants about the alternate universe vampire girl of dreams. Will reminds us all of that one kid who would pretend to go to the bathroom, but they really just sat on the air hose that was keeping the entire school inflated. Will is very upset he didn’t make a butt plug joke this episode and I thought you should know that.
Talking Points:
3:50 - Trapped on the Trampoline
12:45 - Zane’s Vampire Girl Alternate Universe Dream
21:35 - ActYourHeartOut Episode #3
30:00 - The “Click” Remote of USB Cables
39:50 - Responding Late To Texts
SEND US YOUR QUESTIONS:
E-Mail: saveyourbaconpodcast@gmail.com
SUPPORT THIS PODCAST:
EP. 31 - Pocket Full of Fortunes
Zane brings up his childhood fear that someone was always behind him selling Jell-O that he always missed out on. Will uncovers the true motives behind the man who set out to change the world for good through fortune cookies. Is this Hot n' Cold guy a superhero, or are they having a stroke? Tune in for all of the answers!
Talking Points:
2:35 - Fortune Cookie Vigilante
13:50 - Zoom PowerPoints
21:30 - ActYourHeartOut Episode #2
27:05 - Sketchy Car Meet Risk/Reward (sent in by H&A Podcast)
37:05 - Feeling Both Temperatures At Once
SEND US YOUR QUESTIONS:
E-Mail: saveyourbaconpodcast@gmail.com
SUPPORT THIS PODCAST:
https://anchor.fm/saveyourbacon/support
EP. 30 - Fists on the Pounding on the Ground
Our wine selection for the evening consists of notes of Will's mic popping as he explains what makes a kid "essential". That wine pairs nicely with Zane describing how Morty's nut milk must be a crime of passion.
Talking Points:
5:28 - Essential Children
14:42 - Nut Milk
24:54 - Cocoa Power
32:40 - Hawkful of Honey
SEND US YOUR QUESTIONS:
E-Mail: saveyourbaconpodcast@gmail.com
SUPPORT THIS PODCAST:
EP. 29 - New Bjork City
Is Will's voice deeper? Zane defines the difference between sniffing and snorting. Will explains how bad crime really has to be before you skip using the bathroom.
Talking Points:
4:00 - When to Fight & When to Pee
14:45 - Freezer Cat
20:50 - ActYourHeartOut Episode #1
30:52 - Get Rid of Annoying Classmates
39:10 - Smell Something As Good As You Can
SEND US YOUR QUESTIONS:
E-Mail: saveyourbaconpodcast@gmail.com
SUPPORT THIS PODCAST:
EP. 28 - Mac n' Jesus
6:09 - Jesus, Friend of Kissers
11:15 - Naked Office Space
22:57 - Just Some Horse Jokes
29:20 - Dusting Is For Suckers, Mom
EP. 27 - Tom Hanks Pizzaz Levels
If you’re looking in the mirror, you better make sure your working hard to become more like Tom Hanks. If you’re falling into a mirror, then congraduations! You’ve made it, son! You’re in the robot!
7:46 - Get in the Robot
15:20 - Be The Best Bassist
25:14 - Tom Hanks Pizzaz Levels
32:32 - Grand Grad Finale
EP. 26 - I'm The Hair Scientist
1:31 - You, Me, and the Noise Maker
6:59 - Extreme Candling
13:26 - Dying Your Hair The Same Color
28:47 - Indoor Roofs
36:38 - Sweet Release
EP. 25 - The Great Perkins Cracker Cannon
Today kids, we're gonna learn how to go about properly delivering someone their hella magnum crackers, and how you're making a grave mistake if you even consider drinking Dasani.
1:22 - Eagles or Beagles
10:34 - Cracker Cannon
21:48 - Flavorless Water
31:38 - Can I Dislike Beyonce?
EP. 24 - I Am Jake, Call No Further
1:40 - Snacking After Brushing
12:56 - The Invention of “Call No Further”
21:25 - It’s Me Or The Sundae
29:53 - Mooning The Entire World At Once
40:17 - Going Ghost: Cleavers And Torches
46:33 - Disney Has A Clone Of Everybody
EP. 23 - How Do You Use An Oven?
2:50 - No Clothes, No Security
8:21 - Bring Cereal Back To Life
13:50 - The World Doesn’t Get Ovens
26:26 - Great Guy, Bad Ghost
41:28 - Sell Your Lifestyle
EP. 22 - Will You Be My Road Mom?
2:41 - The Wife And My Socks
10:36 - An Hour On The Moon With the South
17:49 - Untie Slow Girlfriend
25:43 - Going Ghost: Sleeping Downstairs
37:46 - Be My Road Mom
44:38 - Beating Someone Half to Death Twice
NOTE: Zane had to attend a wedding and is recording from the lobby of a hotel so there were unavoidable audio issues for this episode.
EP. 21 - Indoor Kick Magic
0:53 - Can You Be In A Burning Building?
8:06 - My Warrior Child Excuse
14:06 - Our Heart Pumps Magnets
22:40 - Going Ghost: Ghost Fly
30:16 - From Potato Chips To Tesla
42:11 - Ubering Coast to Coast
EP. 20 - HolidayInn Xtreme
0:35 - The Shelf Conundrum
9:39 - Hacking Alex Trebek
17:25 - The SYB Garauntee
23:23 - The Floridian Soul Sucker
32:48 - Pantasy Sports
42:01 - Swimming At A Hotel
EP. 19 - Will and Zane Overheat
3:34 - Kissing Forever Sucks
9:59 - Will Resets
15:16 - Spa For Frogs
22:19 - Dr. Lumbo and Zanariah
31:26 - Teleporting Cat
37:29 - The Blindest Date
41:47 - The Bane of Cracking Backs
49:02 - Good Quality Lava
EP. 18 - Father John's Holy Pies
Will talks straight science for a minute about the sun people and how they throw garbage at us, and Zane pitches his idea for a baby gladiator prison! Confess your sins for a slice! 2:56 - My Boss Gives Me A Haircut 9:17 - Sun Garbage Society 17:31 - Baby Gladiator Prison 30:21 - Ghost Job Listings 38:31 - Wake Up, You’re Dead Inside 45:53 - Shaq and Father John
EP. 17 - From Forest Kid to Metrosexual Mountain Man
2:32 - The Chips Mystery
10:07 - If You Fail, I Don’t Get Drunk
14:34 - Garden Revenge
20:48 - Thick Striped Shirt
33:17 - All Pizza Goes To Heaven
42:46 - Being More Granola
EP. 16 - The Funner Raiser!
2:17 - What’s Shakin’
11:03 - You’re Doing Grate
21:06 - The Cop Long-Con
26:19 - The Eternal Squatter
34:06 - Sweet Prince Sixteen
40:19 - Give To Geoffrey
EP. 15 - Boost Your Juice
1:45 - My Battery Fridge
8:12 - Stonepeckers
14:34 - Bill Gates’ Greatest Prank
22:31 - How ATMs Are Born
34:11 - My Neighbor, The Hamster
41:16 - Static Shock Skips School
EP. 14 - Knock On Opossum
1:22 - Chili-O's
7:29 - My Son Is A Mannequin
13:58 - A Hard Bidet's Work
24:12 - Sleepsocking
32:44 - Knock On Opossum
43:32 - Shape of Toilet
EP. 13 - Turtle Boy's Tax Evasion
1:49 - Breast of Friends
11:42 - That Mint Boy
19:33 - First Time Swearing
30:14 - Vanilla Suds
36:35 - My Dad, The Yeti Tax Evader
44:10 - Breast of Friends Part 2
EP. 12 - OptiBus Prime
4:29 - Karaoke Night
11:29 - The Love Child of Ant-Man, Danny Devito, and Optimus Prime
18:43 - Filling Your Shower Joy-Hole
27:22 - The ‘Roos Ruse
33:35 - Professing Kindness, Not Love
40:14 - Spoiler Revenge
45:32 - Does My Teacher Do Cocaine?
EP. 11 - Moon Daddy
2:02 - Meat Lovers Anonymous
6:24 - What Are Buildings So Torn Up About?
10:03 - Blueberry Girl
20:24 - The Beige Plague
26:43 - Free Complimentary Murder
33:12 - The Hair For All Your Manager Needs
39:22 - Reverse Werewolfing
EP. 10 - Hanny "The Rock" Montanny
1:19 - Fate of the Rampaging San Andreas Skyscraper
9:34 - All Hunter's Net Traps Hunt In Packs
15:21 - Bring Back Larger Chickens
19:38 - Will Sets His House On Fire
28:39 - Arrested For Being A Bad Actor
33:03 - The True Story Behind Ole' Faithful
EP. 9 - Chicatsky’s 50 Hour Energy
00:34 - The Ants and the Bees
02:52 - Bill Wonka
09:28 - How To Train Your Duck
15:26 - Celebrity Crushes and Chicatsky
27:10 - Laying Down Means An Open Mouth
38:06 - Having a Stomach-to-Stomach
46:13 - 50-Hours of Energy
EP. 8 - A Warm Hug of Morning Digiorno
00:53 - Cinnamon Twisted Tales
2:09 - My Morning Digiorno Pizza
7:54 - The Center of the Universe Inn
12:25 - Fight Clubbing Yourself
18:21 - Our Inner Wolf Hairs
26:08 - Quit Being A Demon, Ya Nerd
35:05 - Zane-Level of Sexiness