Sex Manswers
By Jacob Johnston
Sex ManswersFeb 28, 2020
Ep 102) The Self Inflicted Dry Spells
The time will come in your relationship where your sex life hits a dry spell. Sometimes this is caused by the normal hustle and demands of daily life, however, sometimes that dry spell is self-inflicted. The self-inflicted dry spell happened recently with my Wife as a result of getting addicted to a show on Netflix.
When this happens, you need to talk about it with your partner and agree on how you're going to overcome this and prevent this self-inflicted dry spell from happening again.
Ep 101) In-Laws Are Complicated & Questions Answered
In the first half of this episode, I ramble on a bit about in-laws. These dynamics are complicated especially for men. The relationship with a father-in-law can be difficult and that's before you consider how men communicate and bond. If there is no common ground or interest, men will spend their time with in-laws in complete silence.
In the second half of the episode, I answer more relationship questions.
EP 100) Women, Grow A Fu*king Backbone
In this episode, I read and respond to women seeking answers to their relationship questions.
Question 1: Plan to get married next summer, boyfriend stops in the middle of sex to answer a daily phone call with his parents. Is it wrong for me to be upset?
Question 2: Found out my boyfriend posted on social media about a year ago that I was terrible at BJs, I only recently found out, since so much time has passed should I confront him or just let it go?
Question 3: My Husband has cheated on me for the third time, is it worth continuing to fight to stay together or leave the marriage?
Ep 99) Money Over Happiness: Men Like To Dominate
If given the choice, most men will choose making a lot of money doing something they have than making just enough doing something they like. Usually, this mentality has to deal with financial insecurity much like workaholism. There are ways to deal with this.
Men have the need to dominate in their life. Feeling helpless or as if they are not in control is just not an option for most. Domination can be good or bad. Domination in one's career can lead to success, domination in the bedroom can be a healthy fetish if your partner loves to be dominated (submissive). Domination in the overall relationship can be toxic.
Ep 98) A Man's Special Birthday Request
A man's birthday is a special day. For one, it's the one day of the year in which a man can take a day off of work and not have a to-do list of work needing to be done around the house. It's also a day in which he can just relax and do the things he enjoys or simply watch TV without having to pause the show dozens of times because of interruptions.
Another reason why a man's birthday is a special day is the special birthday request. A day in which he can request trying something new in the bedroom from his wife. The old sitcom joke was that a man's two favorite days of the year were his birthday and Christmas because those were the only two days he would get a blowjob. Maybe that's an over-exaggeration, but that may not be too far off. His birthday is a day he can request trying something new in the bedroom that his wife would not be willing to try any other day of the year. Some she will find out she likes, some not so much.
With the focus being only on his pleasure, it leaves his birthday as the only day of the year in which he has guilt-free permission to be selfish in bed holding nothing back, not having to be concerned about his wife's sexual pleasure that day. The lessons I have learned reflection back on my birthdays over the years has provided some revelations that I share in this episode.
Ep 97) You're Man Is NOT A Mind Reader
Communicate what you're thinking. It's unreasonable for you to expect that your man should be able to telepathically read your mind.
Ep 96) Flirting Advice
Women, you have the natural advantage in a relationship, this is especially true when it comes to flirting. Confidence and motivation are more important than technique.
Ep 95) Taking Your Intimacy Outside
Having sex outside can be exciting. The thrill of possibly getting caught might be just what you need to feel the excitement you use to get about having sex when you first started getting laid.
Ep 94) Avoid Self-Inflicted Wounds In Your Relationship
You may not intend to do so, you may not realize you're doing it but if you're not careful you may be self-inflicting wounds into your relatioship.
Ep93) Women, Don't Be Lazy In Bed
Women, you can't be lazy in bed yourself and expect him to stay motivated enough to care about your orgasm.
Ep 92) On Your Knees Ladies
If your partner loves to receive oral sex then oral sex is not optional. Oral sex is great both as a stand-alone act or as foreplay. As foreplay, it's a way to tease him up a little bit and desensitize him so he lasts longer during penetration so that you have enough time or have an orgasm. As a stand-alone act, oral sex is a way to relieve sexual tension if you don't have a lot of time in your busy schedule that day.
If you like to receive oral sex then you should be willing to perform oral sex on your spouse otherwise you're just being selfish in bed. I don't mean half-assing it either, when you go down on your partner you're to give it your best efforts. The more motivated you are, the better you perform oral sex on your partner the quicker they will get off and the less time you will be on your knees.
Ep 91) Is Your Perception of Sex and Marriage Backwards?
One trend that is toxic is that of women going on social media to bash and trash men. Complaining about their dating problems and then asserting that all the problems are because of men and couldn't possibly be them. This type of attitude in dating will bleed into your marriage if you manage to keep a man long enough to get to the alter. Being full of yourself is toxic.
Some of you women have your sex life backward. You're supposed to be hard to get when you're single and easy to get for your spouse.
Just a Quick Update
I understand there hasn't been an episode in the past couple of weeks. NO the podcast is not ending.
I have been comparing software and plugins attempting to improve the audio quality of the show. Also, I have been completely distracted by what's going on in the election and what both sides are claiming. I don't know if there is or is not any truth to the election fraud claim, but it's more entertaining than anything Hollywood has put out in the past few years.
The show will be coming back with a new episode next week.
Ep 90) Intimacy After Sex
We spend a lot of time on the lead up to sex and what to do during sex but what about after sex? Intimacy after sex is just as important and it's what men have the hardest time with. What makes after sex intimacy difficult is time constraints when you consider the need for after sex cleanup.
Ep 89) Emotional Outrage Transference
Actors are great at being able to mimic the emotions of a character they are playing. We can unintentionally do the same in our personal life. Over-identifying with victims or victim groups can cause us to filter our news feeds for only information about victimized people causing us to believe a problem that is statistically rare is running rampant.
What's worse is that when the victims are those we identify as having something in common with we start to feel angry as if we were the victims and start blaming those we identify with having something in common with the perps. If you're not careful you can end up destroying your relationship feeling victimized by something that never actually happened to you and taking it out on your spouse who didn't do anything wrong themself.
Ep 88) Zodiac Signs & Aphrodisiac
Does your zodiac sign have anything to do with your personality or sex life? Aphrodisiacs have been around for a long time but do natural aphrodisiac work or are they a myth?
Ep 87) Studies Show Most Unhappy With Their Sex Life
It's sad to see how many in the US are unhappy with their sex life. Not having sex as often as they want and not engaging is the sexual acts they fantasize about. One of the biggest problems is that far too few talk about their sexual desire with their spouse.
Article
Talking About Sex With Your Partner
Ep 86) Recognizing What's Not Working
Sometimes your partner has a passion, a dream they want to accomplish. However, no matter how hard they work or how much effort they put into their passion it's not going anywhere. It's hard for them to see sometimes but you can't put yourself as an obstacle to their passion, instead, you have to help them realize for themself that what they are doing isn't working.
Love how some "experts" write about the secrets to successful relationships and then give common sense advice everyone already knows.
Ep 85) Does Your Man Still Have Balls?
With the culture the way it has become, too many men have become neutered by society too afraid to speak up about anything. Women, be honest here, there is a gap between the men you find sexually attractive and want to spend your life with and the type of man many of you advocate for in society. In this episode, I use clips from the show Cobra kai to highlight some of my points.
The last segment of the show is for men and advice some of the best techniques for performing oral sex
Ep 84) Pre-Marital Counseling & Netflix's Cuties
What is pre-marital counseling mean & is it effective?
Fetishes are not always healthy
Does Netflix's "Cuties" cross a line and what does it say about society today.
Ep 83) Working Together To Home school Our Kids
We talk a lot on this show about sex but sex while fun is really a means to an end in our relationships. Bonding in the bedroom leads to bonding out of the bedroom high greater affection towards each other, increased communication, and working together. I discuss in this episode a major decision my wife and I made, the results we are seeing, and how we need to work together with high levels of communication to ensure success.
Ep 82) Are Fetishes Weird? & How To Introduce BDSM Into The Relationship.
In this episode, I talk about fetishes and how some are embarrassed to bring up or admit their fetishes to their partner because of fear of judgment. How to bring up BDSM in your relationship and getting BDSM started in the bedroom. Don't take the initial surprise reaction the wrong way but if you're unsure how your partner feels about BDSM bring it up slowly and don't just surprise them in the middle of sex.
One sign that politics is going too far in invading every aspect of our lives (Funny).
Ep 81) Remove The Ceilings From Your Relationship
Why do you put limits on your relationship? If you're going to spend your life together you need to remove boundaries and actually live your life together. In or out of the bedroom, having limitations is saying that you're not really married, your just economic partners with benefits.
The limitations you place may be a result of your own insecurities and lack of confidence. That's true out of the bedroom as well. lack of confidence is unsexy and off-putting. Raise your confidence and remove your limitation, once you do you can remove the limitations in your marriage.
Answering listener questions.
No episode this week due to power outage caused by big storm
Ep 80) Creating A Marriage With Intentional & Purpose
Everyone wants to know the secrets to success and often disappointed by the answer. Why? They think the "secrets" are easy and effortless. In reality, it takes effort and planning. Here I discuss one tool that can help you build a happy and fulfilling marriage.
The I talk about the 7 habits of happy couples and the 12 mistakes your may be making in your sex life.
Ep 79) Wife Shows Excitement In Bed After Getting Financial Tightwad To Open The Wallet
My wife was able to finally convince me to open up our accounts to get a new to us mom-mobile (minivan). She was driving a 1999 Chevy Venture up to this point. She was so happy in bed that night. I just wonder what her 19 year-old self would have thought seeing how excited she was getting a minvan.
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Ep 78) Question You Shouldn't Ask Your Partner & NY Recommends Glory Holes For Safe Sex
Searching the internet you can find all types of advice on sex and relationships, some of that advice is so horrible though you wonder if the person is trying to set you up for a fight or they have some far out there sexual fetishes.
We have seen a lot a crazy & funny things happen as a result of the CoronaVirus, but hearing NY Department of heath recommending Glory Holes and group video masturbation has be be around the top of the funniest moments of 2020.
Ep 76) Cockblocked By My 3 Year Old
Some times no matter what you do or how well you plan, your kids can and will interfere with your sex life.
Men you need to be nice and grateful, get her some knee pads.
Is there a way to give him that virgin first time feel? Yes and here is why guys will love it.
Ep 75) Porno Consumption Skyrockets & Sound-Wave Orgasms.
After catching up on some movies I am starting to get curious if certain things work or not. I was watching Private Parts, a movie about Howard Stern. I am curious if sound-waves really could trigger an orgasm.
With everyone at home all day, the one industry that is skyrocketing is the porno industry. With that said, the one things I don't understand with porno is animated porn. How that hell can anyone find watching cartoon characters like Marge Simpson doing porn appealing.
If I could do a study on anything it would be to find out how many woman are naturally bi-sexual. Even straight women check each other out starting at another woman's butt or breasts. Unfortunately I don't think there is anyone to find out for sure if woman are naturally bi-sexual or not.
Ep 74) Home-Made BDSM Toys & Top Marriage/Sex Questions Answered
Ep 73) Listener Questions | What To Do, I Feel Like His Mother Instead of His Lover
On this episode, I address a listener question. They have been living together for about a year and not yet married. She is doing the laundry, the cooking, packing snakes for him to take to work and so much more while she is a full-time student.
Women, Should you still trust buying a vibrator made in China?
Should you and your spouse consider making videos for PornHub as a means of earning money during the economic shutdown.
Disaster story from people working at home. Hint, you should pay more attention to if the camera is on and where it's pointed.
Ep 72) NY Offers Safe Sex Advice, Over Analyzing Lesbian Use of Sex Toys, & Random Thoughts
This episode is less structured than previous episodes as we are all dealing with Covid-19 and the ramification financially and in our relationships. On this episode I go through NY safe sex advice (which to normal people is mostly reckless), I over analyze the concept of lesbians using strap on to simulate straight sex, Talk a little about home schooling, personal finances, and preparing for emergencies in the future.
Ep 71) The Lock Down From The #CoronaVirus Give You An Opportunity In Your Marriage
With being stuck inside with limited travel for the next two to three weeks for much of the population, this will give you time to work on your communication, sex life, goal planning, and even starting a home based business. However this also mean that there is a chance to fix sexual dysfunction in your relationship.
Also I give my recommended activities list to keep yourself entertained and to fight cabin fever for a recommended movie list and games.
Ep 70) Sex Robots? WTF
Segment 1: The rising popularity of sex robots. Why? What does that mean for the future of romantic relationships?
Segment 2: Having sex in rounds to deal with loss sensitivity or to close the time gap it takes for men vs women to orgasm.
Segment 3: The number one key to starting anal sex right for women. This will also work great for virgins experiencing their first time.
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Support the showEp 69) Tips For Oral Sex and Increasing Intimacy
Segment 1: You need to protect your marriage for the toxic messages of political culture
Segment 2: Intimacy before and after marriage. Why men are less intimate after marriage
Segment 3: Tips for improving or getting started with oral sex
Segment 4: Tips for improving your overall marriage
Follow Me Support the showEp 68) 5 Questions Women Need To Stop Asking Their Husbands
We need to think about the question that are commonly asked in relationship. Some questions are designed to fish for a compliment other questions seem to be designed to start an argument
EP 67) Sometimes You're Just Not In The Mood
For whatever reasons there are going to be periods of time when you're just not in the mood for sex for some length of time. There can be many reasons why. Just as important as it is to open up and communicate what's going on if you even know yourself, it's also important to push yourself into the mood if you can.
Also on today's episode I talk about scheduling sex VS spontaneous sex. The pros and cons of each.
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Ep 66) Don't Be A Man Hater and Wonder Why Your Relationship Sucks
A recent article I read informed that men don't want to date "Woke" women and that these women were angry about that. In what world do you think that blaming men for all your problems and that they must be crushed is an attractive quality? Woke women tend to have toxic personalities because they believe a lie designed to help them avoid responsibility for their own decision.
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Ep 65) Spice Up The Bedroom With Bondage Play
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The Simplest Secret For Women Looking For Their Best Relationship Possible
On this episode I talk about flirting with your man verbally and non verbally as you lead up to getting it on in the bedroom. Plus towards the end of the show I share with women the number one way they can improve their relationship to the best it possibly can be.
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Best Of | Getting Started With Anal Sex
Since Anal Sex episodes seems to be everyone's favorite, this episode from the archives gives advice on how to get started with Anal sex now that you have decided to try it.
Single Sex VS Married Sex | Why Sex Is Much Better After Years of Marriage.
Sex just gets better the longer you're with someone. It doesn't matter how much you slept around when you were single or how many short term relationships you had, sex in marriage is just better. There are several reasons why that is. In this episode I go through and compare from history sex when I was single and now.
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Best of | Women, Keep Your Down Under Maintained
In the last of the best of shows, my third most popular episode according to download numbers I lay out the reasons why guys like a shaved or at least fine trimmed pussy. I also explain the sexual benefits to women keeping their down under groomed.
I will be back after the holidays with new episodes on Jan 9th
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Best of | Oral Sex Is A Must In A Relationship
On this episode, I replay my second most popular episode explaining to women why a Blow Job is a must in any relationship.
I will be back with new episodes after the holidays starting Jan 9th.
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Best of | Anal Sex & Butt Stuff
This and the next two episodes will be rebroadcasting my most popular shows.
Anal Sex & Butt Stuff is an explanation of why your guy may be asking you to try anal sex
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Getting Away with Sex During The Holidays
Lets face it, one of the reasons why sex was so exciting as teenagers was the sneaking around behind you parents back and getting away with it. You can get that excitement back during the holidays sneaking around but you do have to be smart about it.
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Men: You Need To Do Your Part In Improving The Relationship Too
In the first part of this episode I address the guys listening to this show. If you’re listening, especially with your wives than you have an increased obligation to engage with her outside of the bedroom and do the things she wants to do as well. This includes doing your part in keeping the house clean.
Women, what your Husbands say and do CAN’T be held against him for life. You will have to let go of whatever he said or did months or years ago. Also don’t torture your man, if you ask tell him you want to go somewhere, go out to eat, or go to the movies, you must tell him where you want to go. This is not a guessing game and when he asks you where, you CAN’T say “I don’t care” or “I don’t know” you decide, than proceed to say no to what he picks.
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Women: How To Hit Your Sexual Peak Sooner and Make It Last Longer
On this episode I talk about hitting your sexual peak sooner and making it last longer. The first thing you have to realize is that it is partly mindset. It's mindset to stop being concerned about how or what people think but also about being intentional with your sex life and marriage. Just like you're intentional with your money and career you have to be intentional with your sex life and marriage.
Part of being intentional means being willing to research, experiment, and spend money on ways to improve your sex life and marriage. I have never once known a woman to complain about having too many orgasms or complain that sex is just too good, that means no matter how good sex is now there is always room for making it better but that won't happen by accident or without thought and planning.
As your sex life improves in the bedroom, your marriage will improve out of the bedroom as well.
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Sex Fails
Sometime when we try something new it doesn't go as planned. Take the time before hand to learn what you need to know to pull it off successfully but no matter what happens don't give up experimenting just because it didn't go right the first time.
What's In A Name?
To some, what holds them back sexually is what we call certain sex acts or body parts. The names make them feel dirty, subservient, or that they are just a sex toy for their partner. You will have to learn to get over what we call certain position or acts if your going to fully enjoy your sex life with your partner