Sober Pod - Recovery Podcast

May 29 - Buy the book!

It’s hard to have hope all the time. To feel uplifted and always inspired for life to arrive each day. Finding that deeper, inner lightness that raises your spirit and sends you into the unknown of each sober day can be a chore. But try. There will be things that tear you down, traffic, worry, bills, relationships (relationshits), kids, courts, fines, jail time, death,… Am I getting carried away here? That is how the mind works sometimes, isn’t it? One little thing can turn into a snowball for everything. When you feel you’re at your lowest, remember that you’re still going up. Don’t let that one thing become everything. Don’t make mountains out of molehills. You may have troubles, but take a look back and see how far you’ve come. See how far that small piece of hope you grabbed has led you. You are further away than you thought you were.

Reflections

How far have you come? Where would you be if you didn’t try to get sober?

Daily Challenge

Take some time to congratulate yourself for your efforts in sobriety and for continuing to try. You deserve it.

May 28 - Buy the book!

I have heard it said that we have a disease of perception. How true that statement is. Addicts and alcoholics have a distorted sense of reality, which is something we must work on. After years of thinking only of ourselves, meeting our own needs, and using/drinking in isolation, our view of how things should be can be far removed from what others are experiencing. Our point of view can be severely distorted. That is why doing things like going to meetings and therapy is so strongly suggested. We get to hear others share their views and maybe get a glimpse of our own perception of the world. One of my favorite A.A. speakers, Paul McQ., talks about being a man trapped in a glass where he can’t read the label. I like that because it rings true for me. I need other people to read the label and tell me what my ingredients are.

Reflections

Do you have a solid view of yourself? Do you have a disease of perception, too?

Daily Challenge

This week, go to a meeting you have never been to. Look up a therapist or call your sponsor.

May 27 - Buy the book!

Why is it that when we are drinking, we can ignore all the drama and just not care about most things, but as soon as we get sober, we somehow start having opinions about other people’s shit? We start paying attention to what “they” do, how “they” act, and what “they” are saying. It’s like we get so involved in other people’s shit that we don’t have any time for our own. Wait a minute! That’s exactly what it is. How convenient! We spend so much time focusing on other people’s shortcomings that we can no longer pay attention to our own. Seems like another form of denial, doesn’t it? It kind of is. Maybe - just maybe - you can put down that magnificent magnifying mind and point the barrel at the mirror for a while.

Reflections

Why do you think you are so focused on other people’s faults and not your own?

Daily Challenge

Today, count how often you think or bitch about someone else or something in your life that you have no control over. You’d be surprised how often you do.

May 26 - Buy the book!

Here are some thoughts on meditation. Some of us find it best to meditate in the morning as our day begins. Some do it in the evening or even on their lunch breaks. Pages 86-87 of the A.A. Big Book describes some simple rituals around prayer and meditation that might be helpful. There really are no steadfast rules around meditation. The only rule I have found is that you should attempt to do it, no matter how you feel about it or how awkward it might feel. Take your phone out, set a timer for ten minutes, hit the timer, and close your eyes. Open your eyes after the timer goes off. That is a simple beginning. You can add to the practice as time passes, but you must do it to get its benefits. It’s that simple. Most people think they don’t have the time, but trust me, you have the time. You’re not that busy.

Reflections

Why do you not meditate more? Take a break. Relax. Everybody’s doing it.

Daily Challenge

Make a comfortable place in your home to meditate. Dedicate a corner and buy a nice meditation pillow.

May 25 - Buy the book!

It’s one thing to ask for help. It’s another thing entirely to receive it. For some reason, some of us can get the courage to ask someone for help, but when it comes to receiving the help that we asked for, it becomes nearly impossible. We get caught up in old patterns of thinking and self-reliance. We think we know better and give it another “college try.” For whatever reason, we take back the reins of our lives, and we scream one more time into the void, “Yah mule,” like so many other times. When you ask for help, try to remain open. If you knew what to do, you would have done it already. So, give yourself a break. You don’t know the answer. Let someone else have an opportunity to guide you. You never know, it just might work.

Reflections

Can you receive help? It may not be the help you imagined, but it is help. Consider it.

Daily Challenge

Ask for help on some small thing today. See if it reduces your load a little.

May 24 - Buy the book!

My sponsor once led a meeting where he decided the topic would be “The spiritual malady,” and I had no fucking clue what that was. Then, the asshole (my sponsor) called on me to speak. I, of course, tried to bullshit and sound smarter than I was. I fumbled a few words out of my mouth and tried to put some ideas together, but I had no idea. I ended my share as quickly as possible and let everyone get on with their meeting. That meeting led me to look into this “Spiritual Malady” business much closer. So, I hunted the interwebs and found numerous discussions on the topic. Accumulating a rough definition, I began to see that I have always had a “spiritual disease or ailment.” I have always felt separated from everyone and everything. I have had a hole in my soul for as long as I have been alive. From birth, I have had this nagging and gnawing sensation that I had, at some point, lost some magnificent and radiant part of myself that I could never get back. A deepening emptiness that got worse every year and significantly worse whenever I got sober. I know what restless, irritable, and discontent are with every fiber of my being.

Reflections

Do you know what a spiritual malady is? Do you feel different today?

Daily Challenge

Write down your definition of a “Spiritual Malady.”

May 23 - Buy the Book!

Expectations can really take all the fun out of life. We want something, so we work hard to get it, and when we don’t get what we want, we get discouraged, angry, or upset. It can really get disheartening and make a person want to give up trying. But don’t you fucking think about it! This may be a foreign concept, but the results are not up to you. You don’t have control over the output, only the action. It’s important to consider your motivation when approaching new projects or endeavors. Suppose your intentions are not good, or you only take action for a certain result or reason. In that case, you may be setting yourself up for disappointment. Again, taking action is its own reward. The work is your responsibility and the reward, not the results.

Reflections

Are you taking action for a specific result? What if you don’t achieve it? Will you still do the work?

Daily Challenge

What do you really want to do? What’s in your heart? What is your life’s task? What do you owe yourself and the world to do? Do that.

May 22 - Buy the book!

When we live as we have, we find ways to act and behave that are not always in tune with others. We become so selfish and self-centered that we neglect or even forget others altogether. This can cause a lot of undesired friction among families and friends. It takes a real effort to free ourselves from this kind of thinking. But it’s not just our thinking that got us here. It was also our actions. So, it would just be fucking silly to assume that only our new thinking would make it better. It takes direct, consistent action to change our thinking. This new life can only be experienced; it is not something you philosophize or think about. It’s something you do, and we must approach our problems from a new direction and act our way into right thinking and not think our way into right acting.

Reflections

How much time do you spend thinking about a problem versus acting on your problem?

Daily Challenge

Take more action today. What can you DO today?

May 21 - .Buy the book!

There will be a time when your mind calms down. When the buzz stops buzzing, the voices inside your head no longer contemplate suicide or homicide. It will happen quickly - or slowly - but it will happen if you continue to do the things everyone suggests in recovery. There will be days that are full of nothing. The best days of absolute serenity. You will spend hours sitting on your back patio or in your bedroom, reading, playing games with your children, or taking long walks in a park to watch the sunset. You will know peace at some point. Do not confuse the feeling of peace with boredom. This is not complacency. It’s comfort. And at times like this, you must strive to remember how badly you desired these moments.

Reflections

Do you remember what it was like when you hit bottom? They often call it “The dark night of the soul.” Did you ever have one?

Daily Challenge

Think of a place in your home filled with peace and comfort. How can you make that place more comfortable? If you don’t have a place, create one.

May 20 - Buy the book!

Experience, strength, and hope. This is the format we follow when we share with others. This basic format allows us to talk about where we’ve been and how we got here, the process of working a program (transformation), and finally, the encouragement that the listener can do the same. It’s not easy to pour your heart out to strangers, hoping they will someday acquire what you have found. Yet, we do this week after week, and some of us get discouraged at the precession of the “passing parade” of alcoholics and addicts. But after developing compassion and empathy for the addict or alcoholic, the irony is that there is plenty of opportunity to feel compassion and empathy in the rooms of recovery. It can be downright depressing. But on that rare occasion, someone walks in, sits down, opens their ears, closes their mouth, hears the message of experience, strength, and hope, and then stays a while. And they heal. And they do recover.

Reflections

Have you ever thought about your story of experience, strength, and hope? What is it?

Daily Challenge

Write it out. Put your story down on paper so you can better communicate it to others.

May 19 - Buy the book!

Man! You know those moments when nothing goes your way? You struggle to make ends meet, skimp, save, and feel like you’re doing all the right things, and when you least expect it or need it, something else breaks? The car breaks down. The washing machine just stops working. The water heater doesn’t heat. You lose a can of soup. Etcera! Last year was one of the worst years I have had in a long time. It seemed, at every turn, it rained and then poured. I would overcome one thing, and another would pop up to take its place. There is a video (see link below) where this “Irish Uncle loses his soup” and throws a cringy-man-fit you must see to believe. At one point, he shouts, “The madness of life!” And in that scream, I can see all of the anger and frustration that I have ever had; how I have felt throughout the years, at any given time, when things just aren’t going my way. Today, instead of throwing a fit, I can only laugh at the absurdity of my childish desire to make a can of soup “APPEAR!” It’s just soup, for fuck's sake.

Reflections

When was the last time you threw an adult fit? How did it feel afterward?

Daily Challenge

Watch: https://youtu.be/Duh-jWfOcvg “Irish Uncle loses his soup.”

May 18 - Buy the book

Sitting across the room, I could see Edmund was fiddling with his Styrofoam cup and carving a pattern on the sides with his fingernail. Edmund was not like me. He was a much older man, a minority. And I am as non-minority as they come. As we all did, he listened to the opening speaker, and after they were done, they announced, “And Edmund is our main speaker.” I really thought we were nothing alike when I looked at Edmund, but after he began to speak, almost every word that came out of his mouth for the next forty-five minutes was my exact story. All you would have to do is change the names and locations, and it was as though Edmund and I were switched at birth. They say, “look for the similarities and not the differences,” when getting into “the rooms,” but in this case, how could I do anything else? It was literally my story being spoken.

Reflections

Have you ever heard a stranger tell your story? Are we really that unique?

Daily Challenge

Find ways to share your story. You never know the impact you might have on someone.

May 17

We were “driven by a hundred forms of fear.” This is what the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous says. I couldn’t agree more. How often have you been fearful of not getting something you want or of losing something you have? Out of that sentence, we still have ninety-eight more forms of fear to deal with. WTF! That’s a lot of fear. So many situations, relationships, pain, injury, finances, security, sexual relations, etc. It’s a lot of shit! Too much shit to account for on this page. So, what does one do with all this fear? Well, the Big Book suggests taking an inventory and attempting to see where these natural instincts got misdirected/warped and became our mental liabilities. The thought that we are driven by fear (and mostly in our own heads) can be a shock to some of us, but once it’s put down on paper, the idea becomes all too clear.

Reflections

Have you attempted anything like this in your life? Is now the time? If you have done it already, what was your takeaway?

Daily Challenge

Look into the 12 Steps and see if they might help you. For example, search: “12 Steps of A.A.” If you have done them already, review your Fourth Step again. Is there anything you left out?

May 16

What are your hands and feet doing right now? Where are they? Really? That’s exactly where you’re supposed to be. Doesn’t that feel good? All your life has led up to this moment, right here, right now. Every decision from birth to this moment has guided you here. Is that not remarkable? Look around you. Are you safe? Do you have food and shelter? Do you? Lucky motherfucker! No matter where you are today, be there. Be aware of every motherfucking thing. Enjoy it to the fullest extent. Take it all in, and remember that you are exactly where you need to be today.

Reflections

Where did you think you should be instead? Are your thoughts about yourself based on reality? Are your thoughts grounded in gratitude?

Daily Challenge

Look around you. Be grateful for the basics today.

May 15

Fuck! I never call my mother. I really should. She is getting up there in age, and she deserves a better son. It’s hard, sometimes, in the thick of life, to stop and call your parents. Also, sometimes I don’t want to relive the past, and when I see my mother, it reminds me of some fucked-up shit. It’s not that I dislike her. I have a hard time with my emotions relating to the past. It’s why I go to A.C.A. and why I see a therapist. The reason why I feel I should call my mother is two-fold. One: that I really should call my mother and be a good fucking son. She carried me for nine months and put food on the table. She could have given up or given me up, and she didn’t. Two: I need to face the past and let it go. I/We/You need to move on and get over that shit. It was a lifetime ago. Tell you what, if I call my mom, you will call yours. Agreed?

Reflections

Why do you not call your family? Is there something in the past still disturbing you?

Daily Challenge

Call your mother/father or guardian. The guardian that tried to raise you. Just make the call. No excuses.

May 14

Every day I get up and take long, deep breaths listening to Headspace. Then I watch “The morning wake up” on the app and follow it up with 15 minutes of guided meditation. Toward the end of the meditation, there is a moment when the guy says, “Let the mind think if the mind has been wanting to think.” And I say, “No. Fuck you, mind!” That’s gotten us into a lot more trouble than it’s worth. So, I don’t think. That is my cue to interrupt the mind or my “Self” and take a page from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous (Page 63). It is the Third-Step prayer that I have taken the time to memorize. It reminds me of my selfish nature and that I should be focused outside of myself throughout the day. This ritual has become routine and is an important reminder of my recovery today.

Reflections

Do you have a ritual?

Daily Challenge

Memorize the Third-Step prayer: God, I offer myself to Thee — to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, That victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love and Thy Way of life, May I do Thy will always! (The wording is, of course, quite optional)

May 13

We often relate too strongly to our lower self. What do we mean by that? Well, it’s the go-to identity some of us use in our daily lives. We have discussed it as being the “baddie” or “playing for the bad team.” In some psychology circles, they call it “The shadow self.” Sounds kinda ominous. No matter how you define it, that lower self can be a lifelong relationship that is hard to shake. We believe that is what defines us. Being a bad-ass motherfucker, tough as nails, etc. But are we really? And is that what we really want? Sometimes that persona may be needed when defending yourself from some thugs in a grocery store parking lot. Still, it’s seldom the foot you would like to lead with in your daily life. It causes more harm than good. Would you not agree?

Reflections

What is stopping you from acting on the nature of your higher self? Who do you admire that has led an extraordinary life?

Daily Challenge

Challenge your sense of self today to lead a mighty life.

May 12

In the Big Red Book of A.C.A., there are affirmations on page 329 that we should be reading each day. There are 23 of them, and they say things like, “It is okay to trust myself;” “It is okay to feel angry;” “It is okay to say, ‘I don’t know,” and “It is okay to dream and have hope.” As much as I try, I find it hard to believe what I read. Intellectually, I understand that I have inherent value as a human being and/or child of God. Still, in my heart of hearts, there is a voice that says, “You’re not good enough. You don’t deserve it. No matter how hard you try, you will always be less than.” This is what some of us fight against each day we wake up. My current sponsor calls it “88.9 KFUK Radio,” which plays in his head all day, too. What does the radio in your head play?

Reflections

Do you have an inner voice that is hard to silence? What does it say most of the time?

Daily Challenge

Visit https://adultchildren.org/meditation - Visit the ACA site and read their daily affirmation book each morning.

May 11

It doesn’t have to be this way. It may feel like it, but it doesn’t. You don’t ever have to drink or drug again if you don’t want to. There are many options and pathways to change. You may feel like you have tried them all. But have you? Have you tried them all? Bet you haven’t! But you have attempted to be fucked up. You have tried being stoned and on the low side of the road more often than not. So, why not try something new and not pick up? And, just for today, try something different from what you have done in the past. Today, you don’t have to do what you’ve always done if you don’t want to.

Reflections

Does it have to be this way today? Am I living a life of freedom or bondage? What has me in bondage? What allows me freedom?

Daily Challenge

Meditate for 20 minutes today. Pick a comfortable spot and set a timer. Close your eyes and breathe. It doesn’t matter what your brain does. Just keep your eyes closed and breathe until the timer goes off.

Are you doing enough for the person/people around you? What have you done lately? Thousands of people around you would kill to have what you have, and all you can do is demand more? What the fuck is wrong with you? Give. Give. Give. Give as though your life depends on it, because it does. We don’t mean give your money or property or any other material thing, but give of yourself. Give from your heart. Give from the compassionate center of your soul. That is what is at stake from day to day. Be prepared to give what you have been given because, as some bald white guys in A.A. say, “You can only keep what you have by giving it away.”

Reflections

Where do you hold back? What can you bring to another person today to make their day brighter?

Daily Challenge

Do you sit in meetings and browse your phone? Stop that shit. Try looking each person in the eye as they speak, and really listen.

Do you know the movie “The Matrix?” What if I told you that it didn’t matter if Neo took the red or blue pill? Why? Because no matter where Neo ends up, he will arrive with the same fucked-up brain that he started with. Just like you. No matter where you go, there you are. No amount of distance or change of surroundings will turn you into a different person. Moving to a new place or moving in with that girl/guy will not make you any different. No new jacket or $400 pair of red-soled shoes. You will still be you. It wasn’t the blue or the red pill that changed Neo; it was the choice he made to change.

Reflections

Are you making a choice to change?

Daily Challenge

If you are sure you’ve made a choice to change, what tangible things have you done to prove it?

“If she would only understand." “If he could just stop trying to control me.” “If I only got that promotion.” “If I could have graduated high school instead of fucking up all the time.” Things would be different. Sometimes we have this “wishing disease” where we wish for things to be different and get stuck in an alternate imaginary universe on the planet of “If.” Children “wish” all the time. Bedtime stories are made of wishes and fantasies of fairy godparents coming to save children from the wicked evil-doers. But we are not children. Nobody is coming to save you. You’re it! We live on Earth, and things are what they seem no matter how often you want to “If” or “wish” them away. Instead of wishing for things to be different, have you ever thought of trying to wish for things as they are?

Reflections

If only I could wish for things as they are.

Daily Challenge

List one thing that you need to accept today to move on with your life. You don’t need to accept it. Just write it down. Work on it when the time is right.

If anyone in your life talked to you the way you talk to yourself, you would kick their ass every day. Those are fighting words that you say to yourself! Do you know that? You would never tolerate that from your family or friends, but here you sit, kicking your own ass down the block all day long, and you don’t raise a finger or fist. You don’t put up a fight at all. Why is that? Where does that loud antagonizing voice come from? In A.C.A., they call it the “Inner Critical Parent,” and, at some point in your life, you assimilated someone else’s voice and installed it in your own head. It’s your daily tormentor (root word: torture), and your tormentor has tortured you long enough. How would a friend talk to you? How does a good friend talk to you? What would you say to a good friend whose parents “tormented” them verbally all day? What words could you offer to help that friend?

Reflections

Are you being a tormentor to yourself, or are you being a friend?

Daily Challenge

Try to be your own best friend today. You just might like yourself.

May 6

Don’t we often try to maneuver and manipulate things to meet our needs or demands? We make suggestions and say things when we know we shouldn’t make comments or hints - fuck - even a gesture can be manipulating if you’re doing it right. Looking for ways over or around the problem? Man, there are just too many ways to fuck with shit, huh? Sometimes, the hardest thing to come to grips with is the fact that we don’t have the answers or solutions. And the most important fact: it may not be up to us at all, and it may be someone else’s problem entirely. The fact that we should step the fuck back and not engage never occurs to some of us. In other words, “let it go.” Have you heard that one before?

Reflections

What are you fucking with? What is it that motivates you to put your nose where it does not belong?

Daily Challenge

Think about letting go. Here, I will help: “Let it go, let it go. Can't hold it back anymore.” Now, that song is in your motherfucking head all motherfucking day! Ha! That should help.

May 5

Fuck! I remember the day so vividly. Early in recovery, I was walking down the sidewalk with my one-year-old daughter. The sky was so blue and vivid, the grass so green and rich with life. A real estate agent had posted flags on every lawn for a national holiday, and my daughter was walking along and snatching up every single one of them. As we walked along, I had this feeling of goodness wash over me. It was like I had been washed of all the dirt and grime that drinking and living a life of misery had built up over the years. I felt freer than I had ever felt before. I can’t explain it, but I knew I crossed over and joined the good team. I was no longer a baddie playing for the bad team. No longer that hateful, resentful person. I found a spark of joy that seemed to lighten my load. A spring in my step! I took a picture as my little girl stumbled down the sidewalk with multiple flags in each hand. This day, I started to play the game differently.

Reflections

Have you joined “the good team,” or are you still playing for “the baddies”? What is motivating you today?

Daily Challenge

Retrace your day yesterday. What little moment sticks out? Where could you have been better?

May 4

The only thing constant in life is change. Impermanence is the nature of all things. There is not one thing on this planet that does not go through a constant state of change. Though some things may look permanent and lasting, they definitely are not. Everything. E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G. is changing right before your eyes. So, why do we have a hard time accepting this reality? Why do we fight so hard against the nature of all things in the Universe? Change will always involve some sort of loss, no matter how positive. Maybe that’s why we have such a hard fucking time? Either way, we don’t have the power to stop it. Do you?

Reflections

How can you be more comfortable with change? Have you ever looked back on some of the most impactful moments of your life and discovered how crucial they were to your growth as a person?

Daily Challenge

Buy some new clothes this week. Go shopping by yourself. Pick out what you like. Wear it as soon as possible.

May 3

“I'd rather go through life believing I’m an alcoholic/addict than go through life drinking/drugging, trying to convince myself I'm not.” –Unknown

What defines an addict or alcoholic? You’re the only one who can determine if you are an addict/alcoholic because it has more to do with your relationship with the drink or drug than anything else. But let’s give it a try here. Two factors determine whether you are an addict or alcoholic. One aspect is that once you start drinking or drugging, you can’t stop; one is too many, and a thousand is never enough. We can’t put the brakes on and always desire more once we start. The next factor is that once we have stopped, we obsess about when we will start again. In certain recovery circles, this is known as "the allergy of the body and the obsession of the mind.” If you have it, you know it, and you can quickly identify yourself as an addict/alcoholic and move forward with that truth.

Reflections

Do you know you’re an addict/alcoholic? Have you decided how you want to go through life?

Daily Challenge

Look up: https://www.cdc.gov/alcohol/faqs.htm – The words “drinking/drinks/drink” in the Alcohol Use Disorder section at the bottom of the page can easily be replaced with drugging/drugs/drug, etc.

May 2

In 2022, I interviewed one of the founding members and drummer, Ryan Dusick, from Maroon 5. And Ryan’s accomplishments in beating skins and matching tempos and rhythms did not compare to what he was doing today. With his newfound sobriety, he has become a therapist and is committed to helping others find and enjoy recovery. He also wrote a book about his journey: "Harder to Breathe - A Memoir of Making Maroon 5, Losing It All, and Finding Recovery". Isn’t that better than playing drums in a rock band? I mean, isn’t it? How well he must sleep at night these days. Less anxiety, a lot less fucking vomit, no pain, just peace and a restful evening. Knowing he did his best to help others in the world do their best, too. That sounds like its own reward.

Reflections

What makes you happy? Where do you find your peace of mind?

Daily Challenge

Listen to the episode mentioned by searching for “harder to breathe sober pod.”

May 1

The 12 Steps of Recovery do not have a corner on the market of sobriety. There are many ways to get sober. You don’t need to work the 12 Steps, but you should be prepared to live sober. That’s where the 12 Steps help in that process. The 12 Steps borrowed, stole, regurgitated, and reconstituted the same principles that all well-balanced people have lived by since the dawn of time. There is nothing new in the “Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.” It contains nothing that hasn’t been published in all the other helpful books of the past. The principles of honesty, hope, faith, courage, integrity, willingness, humility, brotherly love, self-discipline, perseverance, spirituality, and service have been in place and practiced in various philosophies, faiths, and religions. The only thing that the 12 Steps and A.A. did differently is put it into a language that the addict/alcoholic could understand. The message came with compassion, proper depth, and weight.

Reflections

Have you ever read the “Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous”? Why not? What could it hurt?

Daily Challenge

Just read it: https://www.aa.org/the-big-book - For free!

April 30

Setbacks. Downfalls. Missed mortgage payments. Repossession and desperation. We know the extent of our disease, and it involves more than just feeling like shit all the time. We have creditors and bankruptcy behind us and ahead of us. We have our mother’s wedding ring that we pawned just to get a bottle or bag. We have real damage that can span a lifetime. Disheartening to look back, huh? Sure it is. Who wouldn’t be saddened by a life of fuckery and bullshit? But no matter how messed up it was, it can be overcome. Though it may never feel like it, you can start down the path of redemption. This is the classic story of “The Hero’s Journey,” and it’s the fabric of all good stories. You have refused the call to overcome these deficits a few times, but not this time. This time you can - and will - slay the dragon, bring back the gold, get the girl (or man, we don’t judge), and live. Happily ever after.

Reflections

Sobriety is not the end of the story; it’s just the beginning. How will the rest play out from here? Are you ready?

Daily Challenge

Write it out. What’s your journey so far? Write it down. The best is yet to come.

April 29

The “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous states (on page 52), “We were prey to misery and depression.” Some of us, thank God, can say this isn’t us. But for some of us, it’s the constant theme of our lives. It’s not that we asked for or welcomed it, but we are certain that we are cursed and that misery and depression follow us wherever we go. And some of us (like your illustrious author) relished the idea of being miserable. It was the perfect excuse: the all-encompassing reason to act the way I did, think the way I did - and it was the perfect reason to continue drinking the way I had been. “If you had my life, you’d drink too,” a lot of people exclaim. Some of us have even said those exact words. If you ask anyone with long-term recovery, they will tell you that it does get better and that you deserve to be happy.

Reflections

Do you believe that you deserve to be happy? Why not? Really?

Daily Challenge

If you are having trouble with depression, there is help.

Visit: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/suicide/suicide-prevention-hotlines-resources-worldwide

April 28

Action. Motherfucker. Action. You can sit around and talk about shit all you want, but if you are not willing to take action on the things that are in front of you, you are wasting your breath. How many times have you said you were going to do “X” (whatever “X” is), and you put it off or thought, “Maybe I can get to that tomorrow”? We procrastinate and put things off all the time. Some people have a nagging sense that something is not right as they get tired and feel worn out and put off making doctors’ appointments. Only to find later that if they had gone to the doctor months ago, they could have stopped their cancer from spreading. But now it’s too late. Most things we put off don’t have such dire consequences, but they greatly impact our daily lives.

Reflections

What are you putting off today that you should have done weeks or even months ago?

Daily Challenge

Start doing that shit! Motherfucker!

April 27

This may be shocking to you, but we all believe in some form of a Higher Power. Some of us put faith in the bottle, and some in the hands of God. Either way, we relied on a power outside of ourselves to guide our actions. For a time, it may have worked in our drinking and using, until it didn’t. As we approach our bottoms and survive the fall, we get asked to consider a new way of living; we are asked to define our personal relationship with God as we understand God. Some of us have such a hard time digesting this new idea. What does one do with this new dilemma? The only thing that is asked of us all is, to be honest, open-minded, and willing. That’s it. Don’t say anything to appease anyone else. This is the beauty of the gift of “spirituality.” We get to define our experience with that still small voice inside us and follow its guidance from faith to belief and beyond, with or without a deity.

Reflections

Are you enjoying your personal freedom to choose your own concept of a Higher Power?

Daily Challenge

Have you defined whom your God needs to be? Have you written it down? What characteristics does your God need to have today? Don’t worry. It’s just paper, not a stone tablet.

April 26

Patience is a virtue. What is a “virtue”? Glad you asked! Virtue is “behavior showing high moral standards.” And the next time you are waiting in line or have been put on hold, try not to lose your shit, would ya? It’s childish and shows a lack of empathy for the person who is trying to get to you. They could be new on the job. They could be distracted by their inner thoughts. Maybe they’re going through the loss of a pet or loved one. The point is, you can be a little less selfish and wait a little longer without calling the manager (fucking Kevins and Karens!) or making a scene. Try. Try to hold your tongue and just let it pass. And it does pass.

Reflections

How often have you lost your shit in traffic or waiting in line? As though it was all happening to you!

Daily Challenge

Today, if you have to wait, look for what else you can do in the meantime. What else can you use that time for?

April 25

Take a fucking break. Even God rested on the seventh day, for crying out loud! We tend to get so caught up in the “go, go, go” of life that we can forget to rest. We don’t need to be “going” all the time. When you were drinking and using, you probably sat for hours not doing anything and were perfectly fine with it, but, for some reason, now that your mind seems to be working (that statement needs evaluating), you act like someone is riding your back with a whip that snaps while he screams, “Yah, mule! Yah!” Stop for a second. Slow down. Breathe.

Reflections

When was the last time you did absolutely nothing? And planned to do it? What is the most nothing you have ever not done? (Ha! My own Yogi Berra statement!)

Daily Challenge

Plan a day this month to do absolutely nothing.

April 24

“It’s all about balance.” – That’s what my sponsor, John, would say to me when I put too much emphasis on one thing or another in my life. And something else would begin to suffer in my life. Sooner or later, my wife complained that I wasn’t spending enough time at home or that “We never go anywhere.” Or I was working too much. Etcetera. It’s partly why, at the end of our introductory lead-in statement, we used to say on Sober Pod, “Listen in moderation.” Because, as alcoholics and addicts, we tend to do everything full-bore (at maximum capacity). We are either all in or not in at all. And this is usually at the detriment of other important things like relationships, health, money, and many other things that desperately need our attention.

Reflections

Is your life about balance today? Do you seek balance in your life?

Daily Challenge

Take ten minutes to look at the day you have planned. Is it really balanced?

April 23

Have you ever tried a meditation app or service? These tools can be powerful and help your recovery in so many ways. From “Calm” to “Headspace” and even “Apple+.” All these apps have one thing in common. The results of meditation can vary from a sense of well-being to lessening depression, anxiety, pain, etc. Meditation has been at the heart of almost every new-age spirituality and major religion for thousands of years. There are different kinds of meditations, and each has its own benefits. Some people breathe deeply, and others just pause, contemplate and wait. No matter what the practice and what you choose, it is only that you start and continue that matters. Try it for a year and see if it changes your outlook or improves your recovery. What have you got to lose?

Reflections

What experiences have you had with meditation? Do you think it’s bullshit? Have you really tried meditation on a daily basis?

Daily Challenge

See above.

April 22

You hate going there. You totally do. Every year you debate whether you should or shouldn’t. You say to yourself, “It’s just one day. What can it hurt?” Well, it hurts you. Because, for whatever reason, you don’t like going to a friend, relative, annual engagement, or whatever. For whatever reason (and there really needs to be only one reason that you don’t want to), you don’t want to go. So, fucking don’t go. It really is that simple. Honestly, nobody will take away your birthday. And if the person/people are mad at you because of it, well fuck them (in a kind way, of course). It’s none of their business why you don’t feel like it or want to. You really don’t have to explain yourself to anybody. The person’s opinion that matters at the end of the day is your own.

Reflections

When was the last time you attended a function that you just wanted to leave? Why didn’t you?

Daily Challenge

Today, don’t attend anything you don’t want to attend. Exercise your personal freedom and autonomy.

April 21

We don’t shoot our wounded. This business of getting - and remaining - sober is fucking hard. Is it not? For some of us, it is the hardest thing we will ever do. The personal strife and confusion. The desire to drink and the desire not to drink can be terribly confusing. “Baffling,” even. Some of us get relief right away; for others, it can take months or longer. But it can and does happen. Some of us may feel cursed, even jealous, as we see people have the temptation lifted from them while we still struggle. If this is you, your path may be more challenging, but if you can stay the course, you will find the rewards are just that much sweeter.

Reflections

Is there something else I can do to ensure my recovery today? Am I doing all that I can?

Daily Challenge

Have you tried being of service today? Who can you help today? Even if just a little.

April 20

There is a story about a drunk who dropped his keys on the street. The drunk was looking for his keys in the dark after the bars had closed. A cop, sitting in his car as the rain drizzled down his window, watched the drunk crawl around on his hands and knees, looking for his keys. The cop noticed that the guy only crawled around underneath the area illuminated by the street light. The cop got curious about the drunk and went over to see if he could help. The officer approached the drunk and asked, “Why aren’t you trying to look in the dark areas where you can’t see?” The drunk looked up at the cop and answered, “Because there’s no light there!” The moral of the story? Look where you can’t see. Poke around a little. Look and feel for the sore spots and address those. Maybe you will find your keys. – get it! Knee slapper!

Reflections

Are you looking at just the illuminated areas? Have you tried to look into the darkness?

Daily Challenge

Have you been afraid to address the darker things? Maybe, today, it’s time to get professional help?

April 19

“Outer order, inner calm.” – Gretchen Rubin

Is your house in order? Not the metaphorical house, either! Your actual fucking home. What about your car or your office space/desk? Are those things in order? The physical space. It’s not surprising that if your surroundings are a fucking mess, then your inner life will be a mess, too. When we do a fourth Step in the Twelve Steps, it is also suggested we do a physical inventory. Cleaning closets, garages, and desks and organizing the rest can be very cathartic. Examining things that we also physically don’t want to carry anymore. Some of these things have memories attached to them, but do you really want to hold on to them (and the memories)?

Reflections

Are my surroundings out of order?

Daily Challenge

Well? Do you really need to be challenged to clean your home? Really? You’re such an alcoholic/addict. Get to work!