Sober Pod - Recovery Podcast

April 28

Action. Motherfucker. Action. You can sit around and talk about shit all you want, but if you are not willing to take action on the things that are in front of you, you are wasting your breath. How many times have you said you were going to do “X” (whatever “X” is), and you put it off or thought, “Maybe I can get to that tomorrow”? We procrastinate and put things off all the time. Some people have a nagging sense that something is not right as they get tired and feel worn out and put off making doctors’ appointments. Only to find later that if they had gone to the doctor months ago, they could have stopped their cancer from spreading. But now it’s too late. Most things we put off don’t have such dire consequences, but they greatly impact our daily lives.

Reflections

What are you putting off today that you should have done weeks or even months ago?

Daily Challenge

Start doing that shit! Motherfucker!

April 27

This may be shocking to you, but we all believe in some form of a Higher Power. Some of us put faith in the bottle, and some in the hands of God. Either way, we relied on a power outside of ourselves to guide our actions. For a time, it may have worked in our drinking and using, until it didn’t. As we approach our bottoms and survive the fall, we get asked to consider a new way of living; we are asked to define our personal relationship with God as we understand God. Some of us have such a hard time digesting this new idea. What does one do with this new dilemma? The only thing that is asked of us all is, to be honest, open-minded, and willing. That’s it. Don’t say anything to appease anyone else. This is the beauty of the gift of “spirituality.” We get to define our experience with that still small voice inside us and follow its guidance from faith to belief and beyond, with or without a deity.

Reflections

Are you enjoying your personal freedom to choose your own concept of a Higher Power?

Daily Challenge

Have you defined whom your God needs to be? Have you written it down? What characteristics does your God need to have today? Don’t worry. It’s just paper, not a stone tablet.

April 26

Patience is a virtue. What is a “virtue”? Glad you asked! Virtue is “behavior showing high moral standards.” And the next time you are waiting in line or have been put on hold, try not to lose your shit, would ya? It’s childish and shows a lack of empathy for the person who is trying to get to you. They could be new on the job. They could be distracted by their inner thoughts. Maybe they’re going through the loss of a pet or loved one. The point is, you can be a little less selfish and wait a little longer without calling the manager (fucking Kevins and Karens!) or making a scene. Try. Try to hold your tongue and just let it pass. And it does pass.

Reflections

How often have you lost your shit in traffic or waiting in line? As though it was all happening to you!

Daily Challenge

Today, if you have to wait, look for what else you can do in the meantime. What else can you use that time for?

April 25

Take a fucking break. Even God rested on the seventh day, for crying out loud! We tend to get so caught up in the “go, go, go” of life that we can forget to rest. We don’t need to be “going” all the time. When you were drinking and using, you probably sat for hours not doing anything and were perfectly fine with it, but, for some reason, now that your mind seems to be working (that statement needs evaluating), you act like someone is riding your back with a whip that snaps while he screams, “Yah, mule! Yah!” Stop for a second. Slow down. Breathe.

Reflections

When was the last time you did absolutely nothing? And planned to do it? What is the most nothing you have ever not done? (Ha! My own Yogi Berra statement!)

Daily Challenge

Plan a day this month to do absolutely nothing.

April 24

“It’s all about balance.” – That’s what my sponsor, John, would say to me when I put too much emphasis on one thing or another in my life. And something else would begin to suffer in my life. Sooner or later, my wife complained that I wasn’t spending enough time at home or that “We never go anywhere.” Or I was working too much. Etcetera. It’s partly why, at the end of our introductory lead-in statement, we used to say on Sober Pod, “Listen in moderation.” Because, as alcoholics and addicts, we tend to do everything full-bore (at maximum capacity). We are either all in or not in at all. And this is usually at the detriment of other important things like relationships, health, money, and many other things that desperately need our attention.

Reflections

Is your life about balance today? Do you seek balance in your life?

Daily Challenge

Take ten minutes to look at the day you have planned. Is it really balanced?

April 23

Have you ever tried a meditation app or service? These tools can be powerful and help your recovery in so many ways. From “Calm” to “Headspace” and even “Apple+.” All these apps have one thing in common. The results of meditation can vary from a sense of well-being to lessening depression, anxiety, pain, etc. Meditation has been at the heart of almost every new-age spirituality and major religion for thousands of years. There are different kinds of meditations, and each has its own benefits. Some people breathe deeply, and others just pause, contemplate and wait. No matter what the practice and what you choose, it is only that you start and continue that matters. Try it for a year and see if it changes your outlook or improves your recovery. What have you got to lose?

Reflections

What experiences have you had with meditation? Do you think it’s bullshit? Have you really tried meditation on a daily basis?

Daily Challenge

See above.

April 22

You hate going there. You totally do. Every year you debate whether you should or shouldn’t. You say to yourself, “It’s just one day. What can it hurt?” Well, it hurts you. Because, for whatever reason, you don’t like going to a friend, relative, annual engagement, or whatever. For whatever reason (and there really needs to be only one reason that you don’t want to), you don’t want to go. So, fucking don’t go. It really is that simple. Honestly, nobody will take away your birthday. And if the person/people are mad at you because of it, well fuck them (in a kind way, of course). It’s none of their business why you don’t feel like it or want to. You really don’t have to explain yourself to anybody. The person’s opinion that matters at the end of the day is your own.

Reflections

When was the last time you attended a function that you just wanted to leave? Why didn’t you?

Daily Challenge

Today, don’t attend anything you don’t want to attend. Exercise your personal freedom and autonomy.

April 21

We don’t shoot our wounded. This business of getting - and remaining - sober is fucking hard. Is it not? For some of us, it is the hardest thing we will ever do. The personal strife and confusion. The desire to drink and the desire not to drink can be terribly confusing. “Baffling,” even. Some of us get relief right away; for others, it can take months or longer. But it can and does happen. Some of us may feel cursed, even jealous, as we see people have the temptation lifted from them while we still struggle. If this is you, your path may be more challenging, but if you can stay the course, you will find the rewards are just that much sweeter.

Reflections

Is there something else I can do to ensure my recovery today? Am I doing all that I can?

Daily Challenge

Have you tried being of service today? Who can you help today? Even if just a little.

April 20

There is a story about a drunk who dropped his keys on the street. The drunk was looking for his keys in the dark after the bars had closed. A cop, sitting in his car as the rain drizzled down his window, watched the drunk crawl around on his hands and knees, looking for his keys. The cop noticed that the guy only crawled around underneath the area illuminated by the street light. The cop got curious about the drunk and went over to see if he could help. The officer approached the drunk and asked, “Why aren’t you trying to look in the dark areas where you can’t see?” The drunk looked up at the cop and answered, “Because there’s no light there!” The moral of the story? Look where you can’t see. Poke around a little. Look and feel for the sore spots and address those. Maybe you will find your keys. – get it! Knee slapper!

Reflections

Are you looking at just the illuminated areas? Have you tried to look into the darkness?

Daily Challenge

Have you been afraid to address the darker things? Maybe, today, it’s time to get professional help?

April 19

“Outer order, inner calm.” – Gretchen Rubin

Is your house in order? Not the metaphorical house, either! Your actual fucking home. What about your car or your office space/desk? Are those things in order? The physical space. It’s not surprising that if your surroundings are a fucking mess, then your inner life will be a mess, too. When we do a fourth Step in the Twelve Steps, it is also suggested we do a physical inventory. Cleaning closets, garages, and desks and organizing the rest can be very cathartic. Examining things that we also physically don’t want to carry anymore. Some of these things have memories attached to them, but do you really want to hold on to them (and the memories)?

Reflections

Are my surroundings out of order?

Daily Challenge

Well? Do you really need to be challenged to clean your home? Really? You’re such an alcoholic/addict. Get to work!

April 18

Sometimes, you feel it; sometimes, you don’t. That wonderful spirit moves through you, and you know in some strange way that everything will be okay. What a wonderful feeling that is! Then, without warning, it’s gone. You almost feel emptied of life, and it can be scary. Some of us seek other substances to fill that void, or we try to cover the fear and relapse. Riding out these ups and downs is a part of the process. The more you do it, the easier it gets. With each new experience, you discover that you can do it more and more, and you can more readily acknowledge that the feeling is fleeting. This takes practice and experience. Sometimes you just need to sit still until the ride comes to a complete stop. No matter how you feel, remember! You’re never alone. You will always have Sober Pod. That’s a lie! It may get deleted if we can’t pay the bills.

Reflections

No matter what happens today, you can go through it. If another human has done it, you can too.

Daily Challenge

What can you do to enliven your day today? What can you do to feel alive? (Legally, of course.).

April 17

Recovery is not all about concepts, ideas, or wordy books (or fucking podcasts). Most of it is about simple, actionable moments; just like being a good person is not about your intent to be a good person. Instead, you must do good things to be a good person. That is the same idea about recovery. It takes effort. What does that mean? Going to meetings, doing inventories, making amends, and helping others do the same. It doesn’t mean that we don’t fall short - we definitely do - but it means that we try. We make an attempt. Not a half-hearted attempt, either. We can’t do half the work and expect the full results. You will need to sacrifice some things to get the desired results.

Reflections

Are you doing your best? Are you doing things half-assed?

Daily Challenge

If you are in a recovery group, dust off those books, start again at page one, or get back to where you left off.

April 16

We learn from teaching. I never thought I believed any of this recovery shit until I got my first sponsee. We went over Step 1 and Step 2, and they got stuck on Step 3. I had to explain it to the person in great detail. I struggled a bit because it was now easy for me. I had to recall how hard it once was. This concept of a Higher Power - this life of not drinking or using - was all very foreign at one time. The more I had to explain, the more it hit me: “I actually fucking believe this shit”! It was only through trying to teach it to someone else that I understood what my actual thoughts were. I had not only developed faith, but I had also formed a reliable belief.

Reflections

If you have worked the Steps, do you have sponsees? If not, why not? Go get some.

Daily Challenge

Teaching others what you know is the best way to retain what you learned. Find someone to teach. Learn more.

April 15

You get 15 minutes today to feel sad. That’s it. Then you must carry on. You must go about your day with freedom and spontaneity, as though your life is going to last forever and act with the knowledge that it could all end tomorrow. When I was sad, my sponsor would tell me, “You get 15 minutes. That’s it!” And I knew exactly what he meant. You don’t get to live this life again; address the concern and let go. Move on the best way you can. Don’t let your mind take you down a dark road; don’t let it steal from you the valuable time you have in front of you. Remember, 15 minutes!

Reflections

When something makes you sad, do you wallow in it, or do you give it 15 minutes and move on?

Daily Challenge

Start a stopwatch the next time you are feeling sad. Cry, wail, scream into pillows. But stop when the timer stops. Carry on.

April 14

Living for others is great! It truly is a good thing, but it can be taken too far. If you derive your worth based on how someone else feels all the time, then you are fucking codependent. Don’t take it personally. That’s just the truth. Sometimes we really think that we should be rewarded for all the sacrifices we have made for others. Still, the fact that you now do shit that causes problems because of your needy dependence can make it unbearable for others and yourself. We can get pretty fucked up with how we respond to others. If you relate to any of this, you need way more help than just not drinking and using. Dig deeper.

Reflections

Has anyone ever said you were codependent?

Daily Challenge

Search on Google for: “codependent no more” and consider reading that book, too.

April 13

When we talk about powerlessness in recovery, we tend to ignore the other side of the concept: being powerful. Sure, you are powerless over alcohol and drugs. No shit! If you weren't, you wouldn’t be reading this book. But have you thought about what you have power over? We have so much potential that goes unused and unrealized in our lives as addicts and alcoholics. So much power is wasted. We have the power of choice today that we did not have in our active drinking and using. We have the power of rational thought - and actions to match. These things were never in our grasp at the lash of alcohol and drugs. Today, you can use your power in ways you never could, so get out there and score, dunk that goal, swing for the goalposts, hit a touchdown, or whatever.

Reflections

What power do you have today that you should be accessing but don’t? Why not?

Daily Challenge

Ask someone you love what is one thing you could do today to help improve their life.

April 12

Real situations expose fake people. No muttered words have ever been so true. When the going gets tough, the tough get going, and the cowards run for the fucking hills. Recovery, death, divorce, job loss, disease, health crisis, and cancer are all very real situations. You will find that your so-called friends won’t stick around through these phases of your life. They will fade away, one by one, and move on, as most can’t handle real shit. However, your real friends will remain, and you may find new ones in those situations. So, hold your head high and know that time takes time. And all those things listed above take their own time. Lean into each thing as it comes and look for those people who are still there when the dust settles. Those people really love you.

Reflections

Who do you consider your real friends?

Daily Challenge

Today, look for people who have helped you when nobody else would. How can you show them gratitude today?

April 11

Isn’t it funny? We tend to fight the need to live by other people’s suggestions for our lives. Somehow we think we have all the answers even when asking for someone else’s help. For some reason, our egos can’t stand the thought that we don’t have the answer. Our pride and disease ("ego” & “ISM”) keep us from receiving the help we need. Albert Einstein said, “Problems cannot be solved with the same mindset that created them.” So, we must find a new mindset from an outside source. This is, of course, easier said than done. But it must be done if we are going to find a new way to live. Doing it “our way” has not worked, and we must admit to that if we are going to change. No matter how smart or resourceful you are or have been, this is bigger than you. If it wasn’t, you would have found a way to overcome it on your own already. Do yourself the biggest favor: surrender.

Reflections

Do you know what you need to do? If you still have the answers, then you probably aren’t ready to listen to someone else.

Daily Challenge

You can “Rage Against the Machine” all you want, but maybe, today, you can do what they tell you.

April 10

Do you really care about what people think of you? Don’t we all? But do we fucking care so much that we will suffer in silence because of it? When we get sober, some of us need to find our True Self and can barely stomach the thought of showing who we really are to others. We hold our tongues, bite our lips, and don’t dare share our points of view or opinions for fear of offending someone or, God forbid, not being liked or accepted. It can become its own prison of isolation; a self-imposed exile from a world we truly want to be a part of but can’t. Trust this: there will be people who will not like/accept you no matter what you say or do. The only person you have to be okay with is yourself. We are not the right flavor for everyone’s taste. Some like it sweet, others salty, and some like both. Be yourself, and don’t worry about other people’s opinions. In the end, the people who will be attracted to you will be worth the wait.

Reflections

Do you have trouble making friends? Why is that?

Daily Challenge

Join a group or club. Wonder where you could do that? Hmm… I wonder.

April 9

You have been through a lot of shit, which sucks, but it doesn’t have to be like it was before. The past does not have to define you, but it can be utilized for good purposes. You have come a long way and suffered long enough. Take the worst of your assets and convert them to a new currency. Who better to help reform a thief than a thief? You know where the mines are buried in the addiction/alcoholic minefield and can safely guide others passed them with words of encouragement and warning. Have you ever thought about how valuable your experience truly is? People pay thousands of dollars for rehab, and when they come out, they tell them to find other ex-addicts and ex-alcoholics to meet up with. If you were helped out of addiction, chances are that it was from the hand of another person who knew what you were going through. Isn’t it time you returned the favor?

Reflections

Do you make yourself available to other addicts and alcoholics?

Daily Challenge

Reach out today. Text someone you know who is also not drinking/drugging anymore.

April 8

What is holding you back today? What other things are there in your life besides alcohol and drugs that have pinned you down and taken you out of life? For some of us, it’s sex, shopping, social media, doom scrolling, browsing, phones, games, and any number of other process addictions. We don’t see it at first, but when it takes hold, it really takes us. You know who you are - by the way, we know who you are, too. You can’t get your face out of the fucking screen, or you are always complaining about bills, but you run out to the mall and bring home bags of new clothes only to return them a week later. These behaviors literally change your brain. Though society has encouraged our participation and made it socially acceptable to participate in these behaviors to a certain degree, we don’t have to accept it in ourselves. Today, we have the power to choose to live differently.

Reflections

Do you have the power to choose a different way to live today?

Daily Challenge

What is one thing you can stop doing today that will improve your life for the better?

April 7 - Buy the book!

Do you evangelize recovery? Is that all you can talk about? When the subject comes up, do you rail on about how fucking awesome it is? Do you put on a “holier than thou” attitude? First, don’t do that. Be a fucking human being and consider the circumstances. Nobody likes to be preached at. And nobody likes a braggart. It may be the best thing you have ever done, but let your actions speak for the fruits of recovery, not your words. The fact is people have heard your words (or your bullshit) for long enough. Focus on being an example of recovery and not an evangelist. We know what you’re thinking, “This! Coming from someone who gets on a microphone every week! Ha!” This may be true, but we make a reasonable effort to remain anonymous and live by our words #theother23 hours of the day.

Reflections

Do you preach about recovery, or do you talk about it? What’s the difference?

Daily Challenge

Take some time today to listen to a speaker on the Sober Cast podcast. Do they preach or share?

April 6 - Buy the book!

“Life on life’s terms.” What the fuck does that mean? When we live our lives on “our terms,” as we did during our drinking and drugging careers, we are always at odds with ourselves and others. Really, we are at odds with life. Our desires are so overinflated that they cause us to kick and scream when we don’t get our way. Or we struggle as we manipulate more and more to get what we desire. Eventually, we hurt ourselves and others as we continue to try and live life on “our terms.” Life has its ups and downs and its twists and turns. Rolling with that is our task in day-to-day life. Coming to terms with what we can and cannot control (see Serenity Prayer) is a personal responsibility that we must emphasize in our thinking and our lives. Living life on life’s terms involves evaluating our thoughts and desires and what we truly have control over in our lives.

Reflections

Are you living life on life’s terms? What desires do you have that are overinflated and cause you trouble?

Daily Challenge

Do you have a particular problem that has gone unaddressed? Have you tried to share that problem with a friend or sponsor? If you haven’t, try it today.

April 5 - Buy the book!

“You don’t have a mantra? Oh, you’ve got to get a mantra,” says the dude I just met on the sidewalk after an A.A. meeting. He looks crazy as all fuck. He wears an odd hat and has ‘80s dolphin shorts on, but nothing matches. He looks like a fool. I pay the “mantra talk” no mind. Years later, I am listening to a guy that I totally respect. He is an established writer and cares for his family. He is a deep thinker with actions to match his thoughts. He has integrity, and I admire that. One day, he is talking about creating a mantra for himself, and he has three tattoos on his body of these mantras. These mantras are statements he lives by, and when circumstances arise that apply to the situation, he recites these mantras. He suggests that I create a mantra for myself, too. Says it helps to keep him focused when circumstances arise. Here are some examples of mantras: “I deserve joy and happiness”; “My body is a temple”; "I am a work in progress, and I evolve every day"; “I am worthy of love without being perfect"; “One day at a time.” The idea is that they are short and personal, and realistic to achieve. What is mine? I am still thinking about why I judged the guy with the funny hat.

Reflections

What are your mantras?

Daily Challenge

Oh, you’ve got to get a mantra! Create one.

April 4 - Buy the Book!

We talk a lot about acceptance in recovery. We try to understand it as best we can. We talk about it constantly in meetings and amongst ourselves. It can be such a key to getting along in this crazy world. If we are lucky, we can see that it’s ourselves who need to change and not the other person or situation, but sometimes we don’t see it until it is pointed out to us. That’s the normal level of acceptance. The kind of acceptance on page 417 of the Big Book. But have you ever tried RADICAL ACCEPTANCE? No? Oh, you’re gonna love this… The next time you are stuck in traffic, try to think of the things you can do instead. Listen to podcasts or call someone you haven’t heard from in a while. Lost your job? Immediately look for ways to improve your skills by enrolling in some training courses now that you have more time. Lost a relationship? Now there is more time to work on yourself! Radical acceptance is when you can take the negative turns in your life and turn them into positive ones again and again.

Reflections

Do you tend to dwell on the negative? When bad things happen, how do you handle them?

Daily Challenge

The next time something bad happens, look for the benefit.

April 3 - Buy the book!

How much shit do you think you can take? The never-ending drama and fucking chaos that surrounds you with friends and family. When we were drinking and drugging, it almost seemed normal. After a few months sober, watching this shit from the sidelines can be absolutely ridiculous. So, you have to jump in. Because who can stand watching chaos for so long without participating in some good mayhem? As the Irish question/statement goes, “Is this a private fight, or can anyone join?” After we do this a few times, we will see that this behavior is just as bad as drinking or drugging. It’s as though we are addicted to excitement and calamity. And some of us outright enjoy blowing shit up once in a while. But you don’t have to be this way. It doesn’t have to be like this. You don’t have to join in the fight. Not today.

Reflections

Do you fight/argue more often with your friends or family when you are bored? Do you argue just to argue? Are you that person?

Daily Challenge

If you are tempted to “jump into the fray” of the chaos most days, try sitting still today and keeping out of it. See how that feels.

April 2 - Buy the book!

Stop wasting people’s fucking time. Time is so precious. It is the one resource we have that cannot be earned back. Once we use it, it is gone. Poof! The billionaires in the world don’t have any more of it than you do. And yet, we waste so much of it on empty things. Things that don’t add value to our lives or days. From browsing social media to watching T.V. or reading awful fucking books like this one. Right now, these seconds are valuable to you, and they should be. But! Remember that the time someone gives you is precious, too. So don’t fucking waste it. If you are struggling and ask for help from someone who is willing to help, take the fucking help with earnest and honest respect for that person’s time.

Reflections

Do you act with integrity as it relates to others? Are you showing them the same respect they offer you?

Daily Challenge

Be thoughtful with your time today. Arrive on time and leave on time.

April 1

Buy the book!

The opposite of fear is not courage. It is love. You could easily think it was courage, and if you said it in a meeting or among your friends, everyone would nod their heads in agreement. And to a point, it is. But think about how much better love can oppose fear than courage. Love can overcome it before it even crops up. Courage gives you the strength to stand in situations where you may fall. Love allows you the power to create conditions without the room to fall. Love is an unrattled, steady foundation that holds no room for fear. The trick is how we apply love to ourselves and others. Is our love well-intentioned? Does it come from a selfless and compassionate place? Is it free from motive or manipulation? Love can be a great power in our lives, overcoming fear and persistent evils. But it must come from a place free of selfishness and self-centered attachment.

Reflections

How are you loving others today? How are you overcoming your fears?

Daily Challenge

When you approach someone you can’t stand to be around, try to say in your mind, “Here is a person that I can love. I love you.” And see how that works for you.

March 31

Some of us, if not all, spent our drinking careers in a stop-and-start mode. We were apprehensive, insecure, and hesitant to do anything outside our comfort zones. Staying the same was the status quo, and it was fucking preferable. But with it comes a false sense of security and comfort. No confrontations or agitations. We feel secure and may well be, but we are certainly not growing. And you know what they say, “If you’re not growing, you’re going.” So, don’t do that shit in recovery. Break out of your comfort zone and do some different shit. Be B.A.D. Be Bold. Be Audacious. Be Daring. The reason that soberpod.com even exists is because of this attitude. This newfound philosophy of “Fuck it! Click submit.” The idea of “going ugly early” and just letting your freak flag fly, no matter how it looks to others.

Reflections

Can you “let your freak flag fly”? Are you going to be B.A.D. from now on? Can you “Fuck it!” and “Click submit”?

Daily Challenge

Whatever you have been holding back doing, start that shit today. Your business, fixing up around the house. That particular project/craft. Start doing that shit.

March 30 - Buy the book!

Here is something to consider: plan to take two days off where YOU get away from it all this summer. Where you do nothing but wander in nature, walk trails, think thoughts, and only speak with the occasional stranger. In the past, people did this all the time. They just fucking left and came back after they found what they were looking for. Aboriginal adolescents used to live in the wilderness for six months, and they called it a “walkabout.” The Native Americans called this action a “vision quest,” where they would fast for four days and four nights alone. In modern times, in Western culture, we call it a “retreat.” This time can be used to study, pray, meditate, be mindful, etc. Just you, your thoughts, and your presence are all that is needed.

Reflections

Do you think you could do something like this? Why or why not?

Daily Challenge

Research and choose a place to do this. Start today. A camping destination or unique solo getaway close by.

March 29 - Buy the book and read it for yourself.

Are you ready to hear the message? How about now? Right now. The road to recovery is varied. There are more ways to do this than there are people in the Universe. Some of us come here with nothing, and others show up because they get tired of being sick and tired. But we all tend to have similar experiences and focus on the basics that lead us down the path of recovery. This can be boring at times; we get complacent and think we know all there is to know. We get a few years of recovery, and we seem to believe that we have gone through all the feelings, holidays, experiences, etc., that a sober life offers. This can cause us to lose interest in staying sober. Something that might help is to remember this saying: “No man ever steps in the same river twice.” This is true not only because the river is changing - new water, new year, erosion, etc. - but the man has also changed. He has gone through a metamorphosis as time has passed, taking on new knowledge and skills. Maybe it’s time to review the path you have taken. Perhaps it's time to unlearn or relearn what you think you already know.

Reflections

“The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.” – Socrates

Daily Challenge

Today, know nothing.

March 28

There were days when I would drink for hours and just let the day take me. Wasting so much time and feeling so sick. Did you ever do that? Or maybe you were wiggin’ out while you did a few lines and peeked at the “shadow people” in the trees through your blinds until the sun came up. Did you do that, too? There were days after those events that we would pray or hope for release. Fortunately, for some of us, it would happen. But don’t forget these little “insane” moments. These are the times when you wanted what you currently have. Don’t forget the desperation you had to have in order to get to this point. It took much more than just not drinking or using to get you here.

Reflections

Have you reached your bottom, or are you just taking a break?

Daily Challenge

Be honest with people about how you really feel about recovery. It’s okay. Nobody will be offended, but they will be able to help you better.

March 27

You are not that essential. No, really. Look around you. There are a lot of people in this world. Your ego loves putting yourself at the center of the Universe for your own protection and wants to make you feel necessary and so fucking important. This makes you feel safe, secure, accepted, and needed. And who doesn’t desire to feel that way? I mean, we all do. Don’t we? The problem comes when we start believing what our ego tells us without question or concern. After years of delusion and immersion in addiction-fueled existence, some of us live in a distorted sense of reality with little rational thought. We expect to be treated a certain way and desire feelings of safety, security, and acceptance without ever having done anything to deserve it. We simply expect it because our overdeveloped ego tells us to expect it. This inability to know the truth from the false can severely impact our relationship with the Self and others.

Reflections

What does your ego tell you today?

Daily Challenge

Check your ego today. Do something nice for someone and don’t tell them, or another person, about it. Ever.

March 26

Oh! Shit! That pink cloud! Remember that shit? It was like the world went from black and white to color overnight. The grass was greener, the sky bluer, and we suddenly felt the Universe get bigger as we got smaller. Finally! We felt our place in the great Cosmos. Some of us have such short moments to enjoy, and others have many months of riding high on the newness of sobriety. That pink cloud will eventually fade, so remember to capitalize on it as much as possible. Embrace it for as long as it's there, but know it will not last forever. To capitalize on it, prepare yourself by building a foundation and lifestyle that will be sustainable in your newfound sobriety. Clean house. Establish a meaningful support network. Repair the past and establish a clear vision for your future. If your pink cloud faded long ago, it’s never too late to begin this process.

Reflections

Do you have a vision for your future? What might that look like?

Daily Challenge

Do a vision board for the next five years. What images would you put on it? What’s a vision board? Look it up. Fuck! We can’t do everything for you!

March 25

Nothing will go as you planned, I promise you. The best-laid plans will have errors, miscalculations, faults, and follies. Something will happen where you have to change course and adjust. I heard a saying by Jimmy Dean early in recovery: "I can’t change the direction of the wind, but I can adjust my sails to always reach my destination.” And this sums up how I began to understand what it means to make plans. A plan is not something that is set in stone. A plan is forever changing and adapting. Plans are not plans but are the act of constant planning. Don’t get too rigid with your expectations about your “plans.” You might find it’s in your best interest to take the rigid stick out of your ass and remain flexible but focused.

Reflections

What are your plans? What expectations do you have for your goals today?

Daily Challenge

Flip through this book and pick your sobriety date. Have you done the challenge on that page?

March 24

When we drank/used, some of us vaguely understood a Higher Power. We viewed God as something/someone we only reached out to when things got tough. In jail, we hit our knees and begged to get out of this one and promised that we would never do this shit again. Only, we would do that shit again. Maybe you prayed for the room to stop spinning and throwing up that cheeseburger and fries you just poured down your throat. Either way, your idea of connecting to a Higher Power was more of a hotline than any spiritual endeavor. Today, in recovery, we try to have a relationship with this power we call “God” or our “Higher Power.” As we go about our day, we can have an ongoing conversation that can develop into loving guidance that we seem to connect with more often than not. For some, it’s not an easy practice to begin. For others, it’s near impossible. But it can be done if you remain honest, open-minded, and willing. Seeking this connection may be the inner strength you have been looking for this whole time.

Reflections

Do you have a relationship with your Higher Power?

Daily Challenge

Try a new food today. Stop eating the same thing. Variety is the spice of life.

March 23

What you are doing requires discipline and fortitude. To wake up every day and decide to not take the easier and softer way will not be directly rewarding. There is no instant gratification in the discipline you are displaying. Fucking sucks, huh? Nobody said it would be easy, but they (whoever “they” are) say it will be better. Each day is another testimony to the way of life you have chosen. You wake up, make the commitment to stay sober, and go throughout your day with that intention. Know that it takes dogged persistence to do what you are doing. Sometimes, the only reward we can see is a fucking new-colored tin chip once in a while. But! The intangible cannot be undervalued. What you acquire through discipline cannot be measured in ounces or grams. Don’t worry about the fruits of your labor; they will come if you concern yourself with just the labor.

Reflections

What are you doing today? What do you have in front of you to do? What is your work to do today?

Daily Challenge

Go rate and review this book on Amazon. Ha! Tricked you!

March 22

How much do we identify with who we think we are that we let it dictate our choices and behaviors? We are often so afraid in recovery of the person we might become that we rarely think about what happens if we stay the same? We hold onto these old “identities” about ourselves so tightly. These old personas of the “fuck-up,” the “helpless victim,” or even the “very capable got-my-shit-together, overachiever.” These are affronts to who we really are underneath these personas. These old masks, and ways of responding to the world, don’t work in recovery. The longer you stay sober, the more you discover WHO you really are, and the more you attempt to hide it, the more painful it becomes. As Tony Robbins says, “Change happens when the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of change.” Hopefully, you can address this sooner than later.

Reflections

Who are you now?

Daily Challenge

Ask three people close to you what you alone are good at? Then, write down what they say and keep it close by for future reference.

March 21

Recovering alcoholics and addicts are the most courageous people I have ever met. Why? Because it takes tremendous courage to reach out for help. To walk into a room of strangers and talk about what is going on with you. The kind of outer courage we see in movies and hear in stories is heroic and gallant, for sure. Still, it does not compare to the quiet inner courage needed to face your inner demons and come out victorious. Only the alcoholic and addict know this type of courage, the kind that causes you to reach down deep into your fucking soul and face the absolute fucking truth of your condition and, more importantly, to do something about it. Most people do not have the courage that you do. So, hold your head a little higher today.

Reflections

Are you grateful that you are an addict/alcoholic? Do you think you have courage?

Daily Challenge

Fix something around your house or car that needs fixing. Do it today.

March 20

There is a moment when you wake up after having had a drinking/using dream that is really important to pay attention to: that moment when you are startled awake and either feel terrible that you had picked up in your dream or you are so fucking happy that you got fucked up and got away with it. If you are relieved that it was only a dream and that you did not drink/drug, good for you! That shows that you care about your sobriety. If you were the person who tried to go back to bed just so you could continue to be high in your dreams, well, not so good for you. That reaction would be your alcoholic/addict brain responding to the sensations of your drinking/using dreams. You may want to examine that a little more closely.

Reflections

What is my response after having a drinking/using dream?

Daily Challenge

Prepare to go to bed. Get pajamas on. Go to bed an hour early, and read a book before falling asleep.

March 19

Don’t forget to be fucking stupid. You read that right! Don’t forget to let yourself go. Be silly. Have some fun. We can get so serious sometimes that we can lose track of the joy and playfulness in life. Not everything has to have some “aha moment” or deeper philosophical meaning. The word we need to learn is irreverent. It means: showing a lack of respect for people or things that are generally taken seriously. This kind of thinking in recovery goes back to a group of A.A. that had created sixty-one rules to follow. After sending these “rules” back to New York (AA HQ) because there were many disagreements over them, the NY AAWSO sent back another rule, “Rule 62,” which states, “Don’t take yourself too damn seriously.”

Reflections

When was the last time you really let go and had some fucking fun? Did it feel good or awkward? Why?

Daily Challenge

Go to a party. Not a drinking party, of course, but the next time you are invited, say, “yes,” and just show up.

March 18

Buy the book!

Emotional sobriety? What the fuck is that? The ‘Big Red Book of Adult Children of Alcoholics’ describes it as “no excess tension in the body and a neutral reaction to symbolic associations and mental representations of trauma.” In layman’s language, they also describe it as “a connectedness to ourselves and others.” Regardless of how you define “emotional sobriety,” it can truly change your experience with recovery and what it can offer. So, don’t stop at just stopping. Go deeper and discover what emotional sobriety can offer your daily life. See how it can change your behavior patterns and impact some of your most glaring defects. We are all flawed, but some of us may need to dig a little deeper than others.

Reflections

Are you doing the things necessary to progress on an emotional level?

Daily Challenge

Read the article, “What is Emotional Sobriety?” at Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/emotional-sobriety/201107/what-is-emotional-sobriety