Major League A*Holes: Sox Type Thing
By Wordhole Media
Major League A*Holes: Sox Type ThingJun 21, 2023
Chicago: Where Your Worst Injury Nightmares Come True
The #Tigers' hot start, stoked by the bullpen and defense, begins to fizzle as the offense continues to sputter. Somehow the 90 feet between home plate and first base become the most dangerous real estate on Earth for #WhiteSox stars Eloy Jimenez, Luis Rober Jr., and Yoan Moncada. ASKHOLE? If forced to choose one, would Sox fans now prefer Tony La Russa to Pedro Grifol as manager? And could this be the likely outcome if Grifil's follies continue? It only took FIVE INNINGS to expose Jed Hoyer's lack of planning and how thin the #Cubs rotation truly is when Justin Steele went down with a hamstring injury to start the season. Panic or Patience? How should fans react as #SFGiants get off to a disappointingly slow start? Fuck it, if the #Athletics are going to act like a Minor League ballclub, why not play in a Minor League ballpark? Say hello to the Sacramento Triple-A's! As disappointing as the #WhiteSox have been collectively, individual dominance from Garrett Crochet and Gavin Sheets warrants consideration for Badass of the Week. ASSTHETICS: Everyone keeps piling on #MLB, #Nike, and #Fantics for their embarrassingly shabby uniforms, so why wouldn't we join in? Romel Blanco throws a very unlikely No-No of the Week for the #Asros. if the #Dodgers s had simply learned to do the right thing and not lie, they could have avoided earning another Asshole of the Week dishonor after strongarming a fan into giving up a Shohei Ohtani HR ball for fractions of a penny on the dollar.
WEB: https://majorleagueaholes.com/ SHOP: https://assthetics.shop/
MLB Opening Day 2024 is Here — LFG!
It's Baseball fucking Eve and we've got ALL the useless 2024 #MLB season predictions you could possibly ask for. You're welcome. It's been a week since the Shohei Ohtani gambling scandal came to light, yet the whole story remains like an onion — the more layers you peel back, the more it stinks. The #Cubs are rumored to face the #Dodgers next March in Tokyo to kick off the 2025 MLB season. No one will shed a tear for super-agent Scott Boras as he goes 0-4 in big-name free-agent signings this offseason while Jordan Montgomery settles for one year and only $25M guaranteed with the #Diamondbacks when a nine-figure, multi-year deal was promised by most. Matt Manning not making the #Tigers Opening Day roster is a testament to their rotation depth and proof AJ Hinch isn't fucking around. WEB: https://soxtypething.com/ SHOP: https://assthetics.shop/
Cease Traded, Kopech Demoted, Crochet Opening?
#OpeningDay is Thursday, March 28 but that couldn't stop #MLB from starting the season in the middle of the night in Korea as their ill-fated quest for global domination featured bomb threats and equipment failures. Trading Dylan Cease to the #Padres was the final nail in the coffin for the previous #WhtieSox rebuild, but it was the right thing for everyone involved. History will repeat itself 123 years later as Garrett Crochet makes his first start as the Opening Day "opener." Michael Kopech's demotion to the bullpen might be the best thing for his career. Infamous #Cubs legend (allegedly), Sammy Sosa returned to Chicago for the first time in 17 years to remind us what a legendary phony he is to earn our Asshole of the Week dishonor. The short-term, high-average annual value deal is a win-win #SFGiants and Blake Snell and another loss for agent Scott Boras. Can Bob Melvin steer the #Giants back to championship form built on pitching and defense? Colt Keith and Parker Meadows could be fighting each other for AL Rookie of the Year as the #Tigers system continues to develop impactful young talent. Lance Lynn and Angel Hernandez make fools of themselves as Shit We Couln'd t Make Up makes a triumphant return. BREAKING: Shohei Ohtani's name gets dragged into a federal investigation into an illegal gambling ring, but his inconsistent story might drag the #Dodgers star deeper into an emerging scandal.
Dylan Cease Trade Rumors Running Rampant
#Tigers top pitching prospect Jackson Jobe made an electrifying MLB Spring Training debut and could soon be a part of a young and deep rotation in Detroit. Rumor has it the #Yankees, #Rangers, #Padres, (and #Cubs?) are blowing up Chris Getz' cell with serious trade offers for Dylan Cease. Could some good old-fashioned positive regression lead to a better '24 season than most expect from the #WhiteSox? It couldn't be any worse than '23, could it? JaemsonTaillon's balky back exposes a dangerously thin #Cubs starting rotation, but could Blake Snell, Jordan Montgomery, or even Cease be the answer this late in the game? Top prospect Pete Crow-Armstrong continues to look overmatched by Big League velocity. Fortunately, he has time to continue to develop on the smaller stage. ASSHOLE OF THE WEEK: Is Farhan Zaidi an asshole for screwing J.D. Davis out of $6M or is MLBPA Executive Director Tony Clark the asshole for not closing the CBA loophole the #SFGiants exploited to do so? National media is finally catching on that Oakland A's Chief Minister of Propaganda David Kaval is just a used car salesman and #Athletics owner John Fisher is a fool who just happened to inherit a bunch of money from his parents.
WEB: https://soxtypething.com/ SHOP: https://assthetics.shop/
So Many Stadium Renderings, Yet So Few Owners Willing To Pay For Their Toys
Yet another set of bullshit renderings emerged for a potential new #Athletics stadium in Las Vegas that may never exist. Buckle up for a tumultuous "Summer of Sell" in Oakland as A's fans plan to wage war against team president David Kaval and owner John Fisher. Matt Chapman is headed back to the Bay Area with a 3-year, $54M deal that is a win-win for himself and the #SFGiants, but another L for superagent Scott Boras. Impatient #Tigers fans are already missing the big picture as team president Scott Harris favors young talent over bad free agent deals that Detroit should be familiar with. A convoluted "financing partnership" is really a thinly veiled leverage ploy by #DaBears to get a better property tax deal out in Arlington Heights and a way for Jerry Reinsdorf and the #WhiteSox to remain in the hunt for Illinois taxpayer money. But is it also a step toward #Dolphins owner Stephen Ross buying the Sox? ASSTHETICS: "Fitted in Black" captures the moment the #WhiteSox found themselves at the apex of sports branding and pop culture in the early 1990s. Which Cody Bellinger will we see? What is the "Craig Counsell Effect"? Is Justin Steele a true ace? Can Christopher Morel play 3B? How will Shota Imanaga adapt to #MLB? These are just a few top storylines going into a pivotal #Cubs 2024 season. #Cubs legend and #WorldSeries champion Kris Bryant sounds as emotionally fractured as his body has become as he chooses to fade away in Colorado with the floundering #Rockies. WEB: https://soxtypething.com/ SHOP: https://assthetics.shop/
Reinsdorf Blames Bridgeport For HIS Failure
Scott Boras was the only loser as the #Cubs inevitably signed Cody Bellinger to a 3-year, $80M contract. So what's their next move to actually improve last year's roster?
Tom Ricketts STILL hasn't learned he should shut the fuck up about money.
Jerry Reinsdorf is working on new, and more devious ways to extort massive sums of money from Illinois taxpayers.
Former #WiteSox favorites, Liam Hendriks and Tim Anderson find new homes.
ASSTHETICS #1: Everybody HATES the new Nike/Fanatics uniforms.
ASSTHETICS #2: #Tigers join a long list of teams to get Nike City Connect uniforms in 2024
Five storylines fans in Detroit will be watching this season.
#SFGiant signing Jorge Soler makes a lot of sense, but adding Pablo Sandoval sounds more like an ill-conceived marketing stunt.
John Fisher is the common denominator in his failure to find a place for his #Athletics to play in the short and long term.
Rob Manfred is so incompetent that he botched his own retirement announcement.
WEB: https://soxtypething.com/
Sox Park 3.0 Sounds Cool, But At What Cost?
A South Loop ballpark makes perfect business sense, but could it come at the cost of the #WhiteSox' South Side identity? | John Schriffen is the new voice of the Sox | Shocking: NOW Yoan Moncada is finally "motivated" coming into a contract year | It would be gross negligence NOT to trade Dylan Cease before Spring Training begins | The 2005 Sox vs. 2016 Cubs winner is obvious, right? | Jed Hoyer and the #Cubs may be playing the long game perfectly with Scott Boras and Cody Bellinger, but the rotation and bullpen still need to be addressed in a big way | Does the Colt Keith deal mark a new era in #Tigers baseball? | Could the infamously penny-wise and pound-foolish #Athletics actually DISBAND before their inevitable move to Las Vegas? | ASSTHETICS: #Yankees, #Nats, and #Marlins release underwhelming new uniforms
WEB: https://soxtypething.com/
SHOP: https://assthetics.shop/
South Side Royal-ization Continues...
Farhan Zaidi is playing a high-risk, high-reward game with the #SFGiants 2024 season trading for an injured Robbie Ray and signing Jordan Hicks as a starter | At least Jed Hoyer is being honest when he tells #Cubs fans he's conning us right to our faces | The Royal-ization of the #WhiteSox continues with Assistant GM Jin Wong hiring, but what is the plan signing 36-year old Martín Maldonado? | Wander Franco is an asshole and may be going away for a long time
WEB: https://majorleagueaholes.com/
5th Annual Asshole of the Year
The #Dodgers proved the Competitive Balance Tax isn't real beyond any shadow of a doubt by spending over $1 BILLION on Shohei Ohtani, Yoshinobu Yamamoto, and Tyler Glasnow | #SFGiants find their leadoff man signing Grandson of Wind Jung-Hoo Lee for $113M | #Tigers show they're serious about winning an AL Central ripe for the taking by bolstering their rotation and bullpen depth signing veterans Kenta Maeda, Jack Flaherty, Andrew Chafin, and Shelby Miller | Jason Benetti sends shockwaves across the Midwest after jumping ship from his beloved #WhteSox for the apparently greener pastures of Detroit | Chris Getz gets a haul for Aaron Bummer, but will he deal Dylan Cease? | Jed Hoyer is obviously in no rush to improve the #Cubs as another quiet offseason drags on | ASSTHETICS: #Diamondbacks go a little retro adding teal to new uniforms for 2024 | Jerry Reinsdorf worked really hard to earn our fifth-annual Asshole of the Year dishonor
WEB: https://majorleagueaholes.com/
39 | Bittersweet Sympathy for the Devil
Not to be outdone by the #SFGiants stealing Bob Melvin from their division rival #Padres, the #Cubs shocked the baseball world by nabbing Craig Counsell from the #BrewCrew
Some surprising and not-so-surprising player and team opt-outs for the Cubs (Cody Bellinger, Marcus Storman), #WhtieSox (Tim Anderson, Liam Hendriks, Mike Clevinger, Yasmani Grandal, Elvis Andrus) and #Tigers (Ed-weirdo Rodriguez)
Do the Cubs or Giants really have a chance to land Shohei Ohtani?
How desperate are the Padres to trade Juan Soto?
ASSTHETICS Revisted: Curse of the Cruise Patch in SF
Send us your nominations for the 5th annual Asshole of the Year!
TWITTER: @SoxTypeThing
WEB: https://soxtypething.com/
38 | Dissecting the Rotting Corpse of 2023
Was the "play-in" game better than the current Wild Card system? | Soul-crushing #Cubs' collapse means David Ross and Jed Hoyer must shit or get off the pot in 2024 | Everybody hates Gabe Kapler, but Farhan Zaidi should be held responsible for the #SFGiants' second-half swoon | #Tigers' arrow is pointing up as Miguel Cabrera's fond farewell goes far better than expectations | #WhiteSox fans can only cling to hope that Chris Getz isn't as incompetent as his predecessors, or that Jerry Reinsdorf will die soon | Revisiting our pre-season NostraDumbass predictions proves we don't know what we're talking about | Luis Robert Jr. and Logan Webb take home our inaugural Badass of the Year honors
TWITTER: @SoxTypeThing
WEB: https://soxtypething.com/
37 | SPECIAL REPORT: What A Fucking Week
Much to everyone's surprise (including Rick Hahn and Kenny Williams) Jerry Reinsdorf fired both the #WhiteSox General Manager and Executive Vice President after a combined 50 years of service to the organization | A brief moment of optimism was squashed when rumors of another complicated and incestuous organizational structure emerged with Chris Getz and Dayton Moore(?) at the top | LARUSSAPALOOZA 2: Just when Sox fans thought it couldn't get worse, Tony La Russa rears his ugly head, this time as Jerry's consigliere | Eloy Jiménez is "not really" interested in team leadership role and apparently no one else is either | No, the Sox won't be moving to Nashville, but could the West Loop, Soldier Field, or even Arlington Heights host Comisky 3.0? | Shots fired! But did they come from inside or outside of Guaranteed Rate Field? | PV investigates security protocols one night after a bizarre and scary scene at Sox Park
TWITTER: @SoxTypeThing
WEB: https://soxtypething.com/
36 | Cubs Win White Sox' World Series
We give our full breakdown of two nights of epic baseball between the #Cubs and #WhiteSox at Wrigley Field | Nobody knows what the fuck is going on with Marcus Stroman, including Marcus Stroman | Does anyone really believe "dramatic changes" are coming to the Sox front office after Jerry Reinsdorf, Kenny Williams, Rick Hahn, and Pedro Grifol finish "interviewing" each other? | ASSTHETICS: New Era Caps "Fitted In Black" will document how Sox style impacted '90s hip-hop culture | #SFGiants playoff hopes are on the ropes, but can they bounce back? | Are the #Tigers actually the best team in the AL Central? | With honorable mention to Cody Bellinger, Zack Gelof, Kerry Carpenter, and Luis Robert Jr, Spencer Torkelson is our BADASS of the Week
TWITTER: @SoxTypeThing
WEB: https://soxtypething.com/
35 | This Culture Sux
We thought the remarkable events of the last few weeks deserved our first standalone Sox Type Thing episode in a while.
Rick Hahn has demonstrated he knows how to make a deal at the deadline but also that he has no idea how to develop a winning culture | BREAKDOWN: José Ramírez vs. Tim Anderson supplies the nation with at least 12 nuggets of comedy gold | Luis Robert Jr. continues to be the lone bright spot of a tumultuous era of #WhiteSox baseball | Tommy John surgery for Liam Hendriks because of course
TWITTER: @SoxTypeThing
WEB: https://soxtypething.com/
34 | DEADLINE: Gio's Gone. So Who's Next?
Lucas Giolito is heading home to California, but why didn't the #WhiteSox bother trying to keep him? | The #Cubs won't be selling Marcus Stroman or Cody Bellinger at the deadline for different reasons, but they won't be big buyers either | Did the #SFGiants call up top SS prospect Marco Luciano to gain leverage in trade talks? | Eduardo Rodriguez and Michael Lorenzen are going in opposite directions for #Tigers trade value | With honorable mention to Eloy Jiménez, Dansby Swanson, and Belli, Nico Hoerner is our Badass of the Week | #Mariners Jarred Kelenic suffers the Dumbass Injury of the Week
33 | Sox Window is Closed. Now What?
Of the 5 teams we cover, only the #SFGiants are sure to be buyers at the deadline, so do they really have a chance to land Shohei Ohtani? | #Cubs continue to find ways to sabotage their own season on every level | Is a 5-2 start after the break "hot" enough for Scott Harris and the #Tigers NOT to be sellers at the deadline? | Sticky stuff hasn't gone away, it's just finding new ways to hide | What will the #WhiteSox rotation look like on August 2 now that the window has officially closed? | With honorable mention to Kerry Carpenter and Cody Bellinger, Wilmer Flores earns our BADASS of the Week
32 | Broken at the All-Star Break
With 70 games to go our five teams are a combined 66 games below .500, but there's still plenty of shit to entertain us to the bitter end | ASSTHETICS: How long #AllStarGame unis continue to devolve and make the game harder to follow before #MLB realizes they are being pennywise and pound foolish? | MLA All-Stars: If you combined resources from the teams we cover, you'd come up with one hell of a rotation and a formidable bullpen | Alex Cobb might not be all that delusional when he declared the #SFGiants will land Shohei Ohtani | David Ross is feeling the pressure as the #Cubs remain on the razor's edge of being buyer or sellers | HOLY SHIT! Matt Manning, Jason Foley, and Alex Lange throw #Tigers' first-ever combined No-No! | Window of contention for #WhiteSox is not only closed, it's nailed shut | #Athletics getting Perfect Gamed is just too perfect | It might be time to rename our BADASS of the Week the Luis Robert Award
31 | Halfway to Hell
Nearing the halfway point, the #SFGiants just can't stop beating up on division rivals | London Series starts off with a bang, but ends like a damp squib as the #Cubs blow a chance to reach .500 thanks to Trey Mancini's cockup and Marcus Stroman's flesh wound | Marquee Network streaming is finally coming directly to the people without a cable subscription, but at what cost? | #Tigers exposes how weak the #Twins really are, but fail to capitalize on the chance to draw closer in a historically mediocre division | Prodigal son, Tim Anderson returns to the #WhiteSox... at 2B? | It's time to modify the 'blocking the plate' rule to allow for some basic common sense | With honorable mention to no one, Luis Robert Jr. stands alone as our first unanimous Badass of the Week | We should be talking more about the human cheat code that is Shohei Ohtani | Pittsburgh continues to bleed black & gold with final Nike City Connect uniforms of the season | Introducing your 2023 Major League A*Holes All-Stars Outfield and DH!
TWITTER: @SoxTypeThing
WEB: https://soxtypething.com/
SHOP: https://assthetics.shop/
30 | Your 2023 Major League A*Holes All-Star Infield!
#SFGiants make history in St. Louis AND Los Angeles while moving into second place in an up-for-grabs NL West | #Cubs make mincemeat of #Pirates and #Orioles ahead of British invasion to face #STLCards | Drunk bus driver takes Pirates on wild ride | Revisiting the historic 2023 shortstop free agent class | #Tigers turn June of Doom into a reason for scoreboard watching | Pedro Grifol attempts to defend #WhiteSox lineup construction with fatally flawed logic | Rick Hahn lashes out at national media by shamefully framing his argument around James Fegan's layoff by The Athletic | Was Tim Anderson benched, hurt, or just butthurt in Seattle? | Mike Yastrzemski earns our Badass of the Week honor with honorable mentions to Christopher Morel and Lance Lynn | Rob Manfred isn't just an asshole, he's a sociopath with no regard for humanity | Introducing your 2023 Major League A*Holes All-Stars Infield!
TWITTER: @SoxTypeThing
29 | Will the Real Tim Anderson Please Stand UP?
Will the #SFGiants be buyers or sellers at the deadline? | Meanwhile, Kyle Hendricks' no-hit bid falls just short as #Cubs get surprising West Coast road series win | Marcus Stroman uses social and traditional media to try to leverage new deal | Injury plot twist subdues an inspirational Liam Hendriks story | Pedro Grifol fells wrath of Pete and #WhiteSox Twitter for defensive positioning gaffe | Will the real Tim Anderson please stand up? | June of Doom starts with #Tigers dumbest game ever in Chicago | If trying to defend his abysmal record as GM is all Al Avila is going to do, let's just hope this is the last time he speaks publicly, for his sake | #Athletics "Reverse Boycott" fan revolt gains momentum in Oakland while John Fisher's attempt to rob Nevada taxpayers sputters | Joc Pederson earns our Badass of the Week award with honorable mentions to Jace Peterson, Luis Robert Jr., Lucas Giolito, and Kyle Hendricks
TWITTER: @SoxTypeThing
28 | Hahn Won't Blow Things Up Until July 4th
Just as the #Tigers completed their first winning month since Sept 2021, their best pitcher and position player, Eduardo Rodriguez and Riley Greene, go down with significant injuries in a 16-hour span | "Controlling The Strike Zone" is now a cliché much easier said than done, but Detroit certainly did on both sides of the ball against the #WhiteSox | How long can the Sox keep a struggling Lance Lynn in the rotation? | Rick Hahn doesn't make difficult decisions on major holidays like Memorial Day when he can push them off to the Fourth of July | #Cubs fans hold their collective breath as Justin Steele's elbow may have just melted down before their eyes | Embarrassing Billy Williams' bobblehead giveaway fiasco "shouldn't have happened." No shit | #SFGiants find themselves at a familiar .500 | Billionaire #Athletics owner John Fisher won't even show up to first formal proposal begging Nevada taxpayers for $400M | Zack Short is an improbable, yet very deserving Badass of the Week | Detroit's sacred jersey "desecrated" by a corporate sponsor is much ado over nothing, but will Chicago teams share the same fate?
TWITTER: @SoxTypeThing
27 | When .500 Feels Like a Major Feat
#SFGiants flirt with .500 while Michael Conforto is a man on fire | The Miguel Cabrera situation is only going to get more awkward as the 2nd place #Tigers remain in contention | For what it's worth, Jed Hoyer takes blame for #Cubs bad bullpen | With 9 HRs in 12 games and 5 in the last 5, Christopher Morel obliterates the field to earn Badass of the Week | #WhiteSox feast on AL Central foes and finally start to look like division contenders | Tom Hamilton earns our Asshole of the Week dishonor for calling out Tim Anderson while ignoring the #Guardians' own SS deficiencies | #Athletics making the wrong kind of history on and off the field | No bird is safe in any #MLB ballpark these days | ASSTHETICS: #Orioles underwhelm with derivative and boring Nike City Connect uniforms
TWITTER: @SoxTypeThing
26 | Reading Tim's Lips Isn't All That Difficult
WARNING: This is a combined episode with In The Hole containing an obnoxious amount of Cubs content.
We hand out grades for each of the #Cubs, #Tigers, #WhiteSox, and #SFGiants, and it's NOT pretty | Reading Tim Anderson's lips leads to multiple interpretations, but there's no doubt about what Pete thinks about White Sox Nation | #Athletics take another major step on their brutal death march out of Oakland | Third time's a charm for Luis Robert Jr. as he finally claims his first Badass of the Week with honorable mentions to newcomers Christopher Morel and Casey Schmitt | Whether the public scapegoating of Willson Contreras was intentional or just incompetence, the #STLCards are assholes | Not-so-red #Reds Nike City Connect uniforms put a new spin on 150 years of history
TWITTER: @SoxTypeThing
25 | Is Lucas Giolito on the Trading Block?
WARNING: This is a combined episode with In The Hole containing an obnoxious amount of Cubs content.
#Cubs have overachieved against top competition while underachieving versus the lower rung leaving them right where we thought they'd be — just below .500 | Willson Contreras returned to Wrigley Field with a #Cardinals organization in complete disarray | #Tigers win 3 consecutive series and expose the #Mets for the hilarious mess they are | Eduardo Rodriguez might be the best pitcher in the league and should be traded at the peak of his value | Sean Manaea has been every bit as shitty as the #SFGiants felt after their trip to Mexico | Beyond loosening the #WhiteSox logjam at 1B/DH, moving on from Jose Abreu is looking more and more like the right move | As bad as the AL Central is, should the floundering Sox press on for a potential division title or cut bait and trade expiring assets like Lucas Giolitto? | Luis Robert Jr. will get plenty of chances to take our Badass of the Week honor so it's time to give it to E-Rod | Grossly entitled billionaire heir to The Gap fortune and #Athletics owner John Fisher is doing his best George Costanza impersonation as he begs for taxpayers' money to earn our Asshole of the Week dishonor | #Mariners Nike City Connect uniforms make waves, but did they miss the mark?
TWITTER: @SoxTypeThing
24 | EMERGENCY POD: SOX WIN?!?!?!
Andrew Vaughn's dramatic game-winning blast capped a dramatic and sorely needed #WhiteSox comeback victory Sunday for the first time in nearly two weeks | More good news as Tim Anderson is ready to return while long-awaited bullpen reinforcements are scheduled to arrive later this month when Garrett Crochet and even Liam Hendriks return to action | Major League A*Holes reunited on the Southside Friday to #DominateTheRate from the scout seats | Lance Lynn's no-hit bid collapses in spectacular fashion Saturday | Whether something got lost in translation or Luis Robert Jr. got caught in a lie, fans booed him lustily for not hustling | Pete completes the Sox Park premium seating trilogy with an unintended visit to the Miller Lite Lansing this Wednesday
TWITTER: @SoxTypeThing
23 | A Train Wreck With No Accountability
WARNING: This is a combined episode with In The Hole containing a lot of positive Cubs content.
Drew Smyly's perfect game bid gets intercepted by Yan Gomes playing a completely different sport | Justin Steele has quietly become the best pitcher in baseball just last July, much like Jake Arrieta's ascension for the #Cubs in 2014 | Who will get the 100th Splash Hit into McCovey Cove for the #SFGiants? | #Tigers bullpen is following Scott Harris' mantra by "controlling the strike zone" with surprising success | Miguel Cabrera's going-away gift list is getting weird | Kenny Williams' "accountability" comments might put Rick Hahn on the hot seat for the #WhiteSox | Steve Stone suggests Lance Lynn might be too fat for #MLB's new pitch clock | There's a long way to go before the #Athletics can cash in their chips in Las Vegas | Kicking the shit out of cancer earns Liam Hendriks our most well-deserved Badass of the Week | Max Scherzer makes a martyr of himself over MLB's murky 'sticky stuff' rule enforcement, but was it really worth a 10-game suspension?
TWITTER: @SoxTypeThing
22 | The $100M Bullpen Question
WARNING: This is a combined episode with In The Hole containing a lot of positive Cubs content.
#Cubs win their first series at #Dodger since 2014, but not without welcomed and expected scrutiny for David Ross | Joe Maddon continues to have Bitter Beer Face over the end of his time on the North Side so we created a new segment around it | Immediately following Javy Báez' benching, a five-game winning streak that included three walk-off wins in a row has raised #Tigers fans' hopes... slightly | Whether it's injury or underperformance, the bottom line is Rick Hahn has spent over $100M on a bullpen that blows | Just when we thought it was behind him, Mike Clevinger rekindled outrage with "Gold Digger" stunt simply because he's an idiot | Even a resident possum couldn't help the Oakland #Athletics out of the cellar of our Power Rankings | Cody Bellinger's 5-tool performance earns our second Badass of the Week with honorable mention to Jake Burger, Patrick Wisdom, Eduardo Rodriguez, and Lucas Giolito | #Rangers new Nike City Coonect uniforms are all hat and no cattle | Even with so much psitive momentu for #MLB, Rob Manfred just can't help himself from ruining it by waging his labor war against the players so publicly
TWITTER: @SoxTypeThing
21 | Wrath of Hahn: The Search For Health
The Wrath of Hahn curse is real when everything Rick Hahn touches seems to turn to shit as inexplicable #WhiteSox injuries continue to mount | Maybe Houston isn't so great? | No, this wasn't the worst home opener in Sox history — Pete was there in 1991 and lived to tell the tale | Seby Zavala channels his inner Ivan Drago after his collision with Oneil Cruz in Pittsburgh while Joe Kelly earns our Dumbass Injury of the Week | Body parts continue to fly in grizzly Minnesota series as Tim Anderson's knee, Kyle Farmer's teeth, and Byron Buxton's spinal cord all feel the expanding Wrath of Hahn curse | Is the Gavin Sheets situation a case of poor management by Pedro Grifol or poor roster construction by Rick Hahn?
TWITTER: @SoxTypeThing
BONUS: Fantasy Special '23
April Fool's Day was appropriate for the 20th annual Major League A*Holes Fantasy Draft. Relive all the action, intrigue, sophomoric humor, and drama with us!
TWITTER: @SoxTypeThing
20 | 2023 NostraDumbass Predictions
Our annual NostraDumbass prediction show is sure to get everything wrong for the 2023 season | Forbes Magazines' annual financial analysis reveals 'biblical valuations' and record revenues for #MLB once again proving owners like the #Cubs' Tom Ricketts are lying to their fans | #WhiteSox fans don't have Leury Garcia to kick around anymore, so who's next? | #Braves' new Nike City Connect uniforms seem very familiar... maybe TOO familiar?
TWITTER: @SoxTypeThing
19 | Coming Out of Spring Unscathed with Something to Prove
All six #WhiteSox players in the #WorldBaseballClassic emerge (mostly) without a scratch | José Abreu took some unnecessary parting shots to earn a controversial Asshole of the Week dishonor | The sordid Mike Clevinger sage comes to a conclusion... for now | SOXUAL HARASSMENT: Complex ticket package price hikes push disgruntled fans further away | Last Comiskey documentary is a feel-good, must-see | Should Sox fans be worried about Dylan Cease's slow Spring start? | Who should be the Opening Day starter?
TWITTER: @SoxTypeThing
18 | The Pitch Clock Revolution Will Be Televised
Should the #WhiteSox be praised for finally getting back to the fundamentals? | Mike Clevinger and Tim Anderson go to war on local media | Elvis Andrus is BACK in the building (how many times have you heard that joke already?) | The Piitch Clock is already reshaping baseball as we know it — and that's a GOOD thing | ASKHOLE: Why the fuck are the Sox allowing players in the WBC??
TWITTER: @SoxTypeThing
WEB: https://soxtypething.com/
SHOP: https://assthetics.shop/
17 | Winter of Discontent
Offseason grades are not kind to Rick Hahn and the #WhiteSox | Does signing Andrew Benintendi create more problems than it solved while the same issues have remained from the last few years? | Could Eloy Jiménez be on the trading block? | Wishing Liam Hendriks nothing but the best, how soon might he be able to rejoin the team? | We already knew Mike Clevinger was an asshole, but he’s taken it to a whole new level of allegations of domestic violence and child abuse are true
TWITTER: @SoxTypeThing
WEB: https://soxtypething.com/
SHOP: https://assthetics.store/
REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/
16 | Did Anyone Vote For Pedro?
The Not-So Hot Stove hasn't produced much excitement for any of our ballclubs... yet | Almost anyone would've been a step in the right direction after Tony La Russa debacle, but will #WhiteSox new manager Pedro Grifol make a difference? | Stop buying the # Cubs' "intelligent spending" bullshit | #SFGiants make a few signings, but fail to land the big fish | What is Billy Beane's ultimate legacy now that he's leaving Oakland for greener pastures? | Scott Harris is rebuilding the #Tigers, starting with the lights | ASSTHETICS: Mixed reviews for the #Twins new uniforms "inspired by the past, but built for the future" | Fernando Tatis Jr. earns our illustrious Asshole of the Year dishonor for 2022
TWITTER: @SoxTypeThing
WEB: https://soxtypething.com/
SHOP: https://assthetics.store/
REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/
15 | José Abreu to the Cubs: Clickbait or Legit?
We break down the dramatic and bittersweet conclusion to Tony La Russa's and the #WhiteSox' tumultuous traveling circus we affectionately refer to as LaRussaPalooza | Was Bruce Levine simply using the oldest trick in the book for Chicago baseball writers to get some attention from both sides of town, or is there some legitimacy to his report that Sox legend, José Abreu might end up with the #Cubs next season? | While our preseason NostraDumbass predictions didn't turn out so well, this unprecedented #MLB #postseason has certainly delivered
TWITTER: @SoxTypeThing
WEB: https://soxtypething.com/
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REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/
14 | Six-Game Sweep Sinks Sox
CairoMania and LaRussaPalooza reached their dramatic conclusions as the #WhiteSox got swept out of the playoff picture over a miserable 6 days | Will Jerry Reinsdorf spend whatever it takes to keep his ballclub's championship window propped open? | How much blame does Rick Hahn share in the Sox failure?
TWITTER: @SoxTypeThing
WEB: https://soxtypething.com/
SHOP: https://assthetics.store/
REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/
13 | Sweep or GTFO
Ken Rosenthal's 'Open Letter to Tony La Russa' is an eye-opening indictment of the entire dysfunctional #WhiteSox organization | Miguel Cairo's firey 'Get the Fuck Out' speech could become the stuff of legend IF they can overtake CLE | Al Avila set a low bar for #Tigers' promising new president, Scott Harris | Trust us — pitch clocks, big bases, and shift bans will NOT ruin baseball | False claims about Freddie Freeman's former agent earn Doug Gottlieb our Asshole of the Week dishonor
TWITTER: @SoxTypeThing
WEB: https://soxtypething.com/
SHOP: https://assthetics.store/
REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/
12 | TLR Does His Best to Derail CairoMania
Miguel Cairo improves to 9-4 as the #WhiteSox suddenly have the best offense in baseball | Tony La Russa "doesn't want to be a distraction" while creating the biggest distraction he possibly can | Elvis Andrus is proving to be the leader the Sox have been lacking | Can Tim Anderson get healthy in time? | It won't be easy with just 21 games to go, but it can be done — we did the math
TWITTER: @SoxTypeThing
WEB: https://soxtypething.com/
SHOP: https://assthetics.store/
REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/
11 | LaRussaPalooza Dramatic Plot Twist
Tony La Russa's sudden departure from the #WhiteSox due to a medical issue raises questions about his future with the ballclub and about Rick Hahn's leadership (or lack thereof) | CAIROMANIA! As TLR's cloud of misery lifts, Miguel Cairo fills the void with energy, power, and winning... and not a moment too soon | Lance Lynn leads the charge in another silly #MLB tickle fight that resembled scenes from an '80s music video | ASKHOLE? What happens to Elvis Andrus when Tim Anderson returns? | Pete almost witnessed history again as Dylan Cease's no-hit bid falls one out short, but did that performance make him the AL #CyYoung front-runner? | Sox Crawl ripoff earns the Promotions Dept. our Asshole of the Week dishonor
TWITTER: @SoxTypeThing
WEB: https://soxtypething.com/
SHOP: https://assthetics.store/
REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/
10 | From FIRE TONY to SELL THE TEAM
The #WhiteSxo place their faith in Jesus Night to save the 2022 season | After a series loss to the Orioles and a sweep at the hands of the lowly D-Backs, was Adam Engel's dropped foul ball the final breaking point? | Dr. Verniere believes dehydration could be the root cause of the shitload of hamstring injuries | Fan frustration shifts from blaming Tony La Russa to owner Jerry Reinsdorf with "SELL THE TEAM" sign(s?) prominently on display at Sox Park and on the TV broadcast | This Week in Sox Misery usually looks to history for crushing events, but Sox fans might be living through the most excruciating season ever
TWITTER: @SoxTypeThing
WEB: https://soxtypething.com/
SHOP: https://assthetics.store/
REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/
9 | TLR Doubles Down on Dumbass Intentional Walks
Just another typical week for the 2022 White Sox splitting two series against two good teams and losing to a shitty one | What’s LaRussaPalooza without another indefensible two-strike intentional walk? | Noah Weinstein takes Box Seat Manager to a whole new level | Add Yasmani Grandal and Michael Kopech to the long list of those who have felt the Wrath of Hahn | Project Birmingham seeks to maximize assets and resources of the Sox’ entire farm system in Double-A | Bob Nightengale sheds light on Tony La Russa’s future, but remains in the dark on Elvis Andrus move | Parents of the Year let their 11-year old run onto Guaranteed Rate Field delaying game for some ridiculous Shit awe Couldn’t Make Up | This Week in Sox Misery: Sox were Jerry Reinsdorf’s second choice in 1980
TWITTER: @SoxTypeThing
WEB: https://soxtypething.com/
SHOP: https://assthetics.store/
REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/
8 | Time to Wake the Fuck Up!
It's officially make-or-break time as another trade deadline came and went with little action from Rick Hahn and now a pivotal series against the league-best #Astros looms after the #WhiteSox sleepwalked thru the softest part of the 2022 schedule, going a mere 11-8 vs. chronically mediocre competition | LaRussaPalooza rolls on as Tony La Russa is caught asleep at the wheel again | More mysterious Wrath of Hahn bad luck with injuries to Luis Robert and now Tim Anderson continue the disturbing trend | Plus, This Week In Sox Misery and some funny Shit We Couldn't Make Up
TWITTER: @SoxTypeThing
WEB: https://soxtypething.com/
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REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/
7 | We're Going Into 'Stealth Mode'
Much like Rick Hann's pre-trade deadline radio silence strategy, Smitty's selfish and poorly-timed vacation means Sox Type Thing is headed into 'stealth mode' for the next couple of weeks | Tony La Russa's questionable decision-making spawns LaRussaPalooza: The Curious Cast of Lance Lynn | The #Guardians continues to battle the #WhiteSox to a stalemate while "Go Tribe" apparently continues to be a thing in Cleveland | With the next 19 games vs. opponents adding up to a .411 winning%, consider this season OV-AH if the Sox don't go AT LEAST 13-6 over this critical span | Wrath of Hahn's injury curse continues with Luis Robert's mysterious symptoms landing him on the IL while the root cause remains fuzzy | Minnie Miñoso finally takes his rightful place the National Baseball Hall of Fame... far, far too late | Ray Durham traded to Oakland in exchange for some schmoe twenty years ago is just another Day in Sox Misery
TWITTER: @SoxTypeThing
WEB: https://soxtypething.com/
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REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/
6 | Fateful Eight Leads to Merciful Break
Going 5 and 3 over Steve Stone's final 'Fateful Eight' games with CLE and MIN before the All-Star break lands the #WhiteSox right back where everything started at .500, but gives reason for optimism | Tony La Russa's LaRussaPalooza is a circus of his own creation as he's lost any benefit of the doubt | Bob Nightengale's latest bad tweet overstates Sox clubhouse situation and potentially expose Dallas Keuchel's treachery | Celebrity Death Match Ozzie Guillen vs Jon Heyman begins with a ton of bluster but ends with a whimper | Kenny Williams gets all up in White Sox clubhouse business | More Wrath of Hahn bad injury luck snares an obviously 'injury prone' Eloy Jiménez again and Luis Robert with a new mysterious ailment, but are Lance Lynn's struggles due to Smitty's jinx? | Do the Sox have enough to win the Juan Soto Sweepstakes or is the asking price skyrocketing out of reach? | Dylan Cease is only the latest egregious All-Star snub | Sneakerheads may snap up new "Mache Runner" but these two old men will pass on these old man's walking shoes
TWITTER: @SoxTypeThing
WEB: https://soxtypething.com/
SHOP: https://assthetics.store/
REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/
5 | Season on the Brink?
Eloy Jiménez and the #WhiteSox salvage the final game vs. the #MNTwins and maybe even saved the season as the red-hot #Tigers come to town | Sox sweep the #SFGiants in an eerily familiar way | The first 8-5 triple play exposes historically bad baserunning and lack of baseball IQ | Micheal Kopech hasn't been quite right since his "minor" knee injury | Whether it's the groin injury or off-field distractions, Tim Anderson is a shell of his usual self | Tony La Russa tells awkward 1982 bullet-proof vest story to try to relate to Highland Park tragedy | A*Hole Poll results are in!
TWITTER: @SoxTypeThing
WEB: https://soxtypething.com/
SHOP: https://assthetics.store/
REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/
4 | Orioles and Angels Exploit Sox Malaise
We struggle to compartmentalize the positives and negatives of the 2022 #WhiteSox season thus far | Rick Hahn provides a new perspective on Chris Sales's 2016 meltdown over the World's Most Dangerous Uniform | Jake Burger gets his own signature hamburger while we attempt to talk down irrational White Sox Twitter from DFA'ing him and Gavin Sheets | Steve Stone is a man of enormous talent as a pitcher and broadcaster, but did anyone see him as a filmmaker? | Despite Tony La Russa's delusional declarations to the contrary, Leury Garcia is empirically one o the worst players in all of Major League Baseball
TWITTER: @SoxTypeThing
WEB: https://soxtypething.com/
SHOP: https://assthetics.store/
REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/
3 | Second Coming of Sosa?
Is a big jump from Double-A to the big league club for top prospect, Lenyn Sosa going to help save the Sox? | Umpire Doug Eddings was so bad the Blue Jays hitting coach got himself ejected BEFORE the next game and PitchTrax may have to recalibrate going forward | The LaRussaPalooza circus rolls on as Tony La Russa has completely lost any benefit of the doubt | Another Box Seat Manager has some bad advice for the front office as Pete takes his home attendance record to 5-1 | ASKHOLE?! What's wrong with Lucas Giolito? | It's not ESPN Sunday Night Baseball's fault they're out-of-town stupid, but their incessant off-field in-game coverage is completely out of control | We need a new name for our Twitter poll segment, but most agree a delusional Jerry Reinsdorf values his relationship with TLR over a #WhiteSox championship
TWITTER: @SoxTypeThing
WEB: https://soxtypething.com/
SHOP: https://assthetics.store/
REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/
2 | From "FIRE TONY" to a Sweep in Detroit
The circus that is LaRussaPalooza started the week with not-so-subtle hints that the fanbase wants Tony La Russa fired but ended with a dominant sweep of the Tigers | Lance Lynn gets into it with Joe McEwing while TLR denies everything in typical TLR fashion | The Wrath of Hahn curse lives on as the avalanche of injuries continue to bury Rick Hahn alive | Tweet Bag: If fans actually got their wish, who would they want to replace La Russa? | NBC Sports Chicago censoring the critical inning of the infamous 1-2 Intentional Walk game replay was some Shit We Couldn't Make Up | Tim Anderson's rehab is off to a nice start while Eloy Jiménez is MIA | Maybe Yoan Moncada just needed a little time to settle in?
TWITTER: @SoxTypeThing
WEB: https://soxtypething.com/
SHOP: https://assthetics.store/
REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/
1 | Tony La Russa: The Most Hated Man in Chicago
Sox Type Thing becomes its own thing at a unique moment in White Sox history | LARUSSAPALOOZA takes it up another notch when Tony La Russa makes baseball history with 1-2 intentional, but that's only the tip of his iceberg of incompetence | Pete at the Park goes 4-1 as Box Seat Managers have some *interesting* advice for TLR | We power rank Steve Stone's broadcast booth partnerships over the last 40 years | We answer your questions on the @SoxTypeThing Twitter Bag | Eloy Jiménez is NOT injury-prone and has NOT suffered a setback according to Rick Hahn
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WED: https://majorleagueaholes.com/
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REVOLUTION BREWING: https://revbrew.com/
Second Base Solutions
Signing a big-name free agent SS and asking him to move to 2B isn't realistic. Neither is asking the face of the franchise, Tim Anderson to move out of his preferred position. But there are plenty of trade options out there to fill the #WhiteSox gaping hole in the middle of the infield.
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