The Desi Condition
By The Desi Condition
The Desi ConditionMay 26, 2021
Episode 5.04: Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents; Book Review and Actionable Steps (Part 2 of 2)
The hosts Tanushree and Anu delve into the profound impact of emotional immaturity within South Asian families. Building on their previous discussion, the overarching questions guide the exploration into the depths of emotional immaturity, specifically how it manifests in South Asian parenting. The hosts dissect cultural collectivism, enmeshment, and the intricate dynamics within mother-son relationships versus those with the oldest daughter. They unravel habits ingrained in South Asian parenting, referencing unsupportive social emotion strategies, such as suppressing emotions for the sake of harmony.
They further scrutinize emotional incest, the choosing of favorites, and the lack of privacy between parents and children. They ponder the definition of emotional maturity versus immaturity, and explore the concepts of true self and role self within the context of culture. Key traits of emotionally mature individuals are highlighted, providing actionable items for listeners to identify and foster emotional maturity within themselves and those around them.
The hosts address the challenge of breaking family patterns, emphasizing the importance of distinguishing between relatedness and relationships.
They wrap up with a powerful conclusion, urging listeners to detach from expectations and see their parents for who they truly are, freeing themselves from the chains of emotional immaturity.
Episode 5.03: Emotional Immaturity in South Asian Parenting, An Origin Story (Part 1 of 2)
In this thought-provoking podcast episode, we delve into the complex world of emotional immaturity and its profound impact on South Asian families and their children. Drawing inspiration from Lindsay C. Gibson's book, "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents," we explore the history, cultural context, and real-life stories that illuminate the struggles and triumphs of individuals raised by emotionally immature parents. We delve deep into the intricate world of South Asian parenting and uncover the roots of emotional immaturity within these families. Our leading question takes us on a journey through cultural norms, historical influences, and the impact on the wellness and socialization of South Asian children. Our exploration begins with a critical look at South Asian parenting through the lens of emotional availability and connection. We question the essence of "good parenting" and the extent to which emotional needs are acknowledged in this culture. We examine the significance of emotional intimacy in parent-child relationships and dissect what successful parenting looks like in South Asian households. The legacy of Partition in 1947 casts a long shadow on mental health and emotional expression in South Asia. We explore how the upheaval disrupted healthcare services, and the silence of mental health professionals had lasting consequences. We introduce the ancient Sanskrit text Natyasastra and its "rasa" theory, which forms the basis of the Indian approach to emotions. Shifting our focus to parental emotion socialization, we delve into strategies used by South Asian parents, ranging from problem-focused and emotion-focused reactions to non-supportive methods like punitive reactions, minimization reactions, and distress reactions. We contemplate the profound implications of these emotional dynamics, including the development of internalizers and externalizers in adult children.
Sources to publications referenced in the episode can be found on tdcpodcast.com
Episode 5.02: The Love Commandos, with Mansi Choksi
We chat with Mansi Choksi: Dubai and Mumbai-based journalist, author of "The Newlyweds: Rearranging Marriage in Modern India" and one of the brilliant minds behind NPR's new season of Rough Translation, titled "The Love Commandos."
Mansi writes about crime, gender, identity, opportunity and pop-culture and serves as the guest co-host of Love Commandos. Mansi joins us to talk about what happens in the aftermath of when young Indian couples choose to marry for love. Her work on “Love Commandos” draws on years of in-depth reporting in India by NPR correspondent Lauren Frayer and investigations on the enigmatic, controversial figure of Sanjoy Sachdev, founder of non-profit organization The Love Commandos.
Mansi also discusses her preconceived notions on love marriage shaped by Bollywood depictions and media portrayals. While doing so, she highlights the stark contrast between her previously held beliefs and what she learns over time to be realistic consequences that South Asian couples face when questioning the stronghold of arranged marriages in India. In our conversation with Mansi, we discuss her book, “The Newlyweds” and have an open and honest discussion about how India is raising a generation with distorted views on their sense of agency in regards to choosing their partners.
Mansi's work can be found:
Instagram: @mansi_choksi
NPR's Rough Translations: https://www.npr.org/series/1195777940/rough-translations-love-commandos
Episode 5.01: Be Your Own Cheerleader, with Neelu Kaur
We interview Neelu Kaur, a seasoned author and leadership expert with 15 years of experience in adult learning. On January 24, 2023, she unveiled her debut book, "Be Your Own Cheerleader: An Asian and South Asian Woman's Cultural, Psychological, and Spiritual Guide to Self-Promote at Work." This book was born from her personal struggles with self-promotion and advocacy in the professional realm. Neelu's story is a compelling one, as she shares her journey as an Indian-born, American-raised South Asian woman. Her life involved navigating two distinct cultures, East and West, throughout her education and early career. She illuminates the sharp contrasts between the values and behaviors surrounding advocacy in a collectivist "We" culture, which often prioritizes others' opinions over one's own, and the individualistic "I" culture prevalent in Corporate America. Neelu's experiences led her to seek alignment and integrate purpose-driven living into every facet of her life. During our conversation with Neelu, we delve into the challenges South Asian women face in learning to advocate for themselves while shedding limiting beliefs and behaviors that may hold them back, offering insights and inspiration for personal growth and empowerment.
Neelu can be found:
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/neelukaur
Be Your Own Cheerleader, Amazon
Instagram: neelu.kaur
Episode 4.16: Many Shades of Grief; One Human Condition, with Krishma Tuli Arora
Krishma Tuli Arora: poet, writer, public speaker, and mother. On May 23rd, Krishma debuted her first fiction novel, From Ash to Ashes, inspired by her time of grief following the death of her first-born son. Krishma comes on the show to talk about how she and other members of her family grieved, and how these experiences translated into major themes in her novel (don't worry, there are no spoilers!). Krishma shares how grief affected her marriage and family dynamics. She shares how societal pressure rushed her into motherhood while stymieing her path to therapy. She implores the audience to accept accountability for tragedies, when appropriate, and to get help when needed.
Krishma can be found:
Instagram/TikTok: @krishmawrites
Website: www.krishmatuliarora.com
Episode 4.15: Media Romance and Feminism, with Ragini Jha
In this episode, Tanushree and guest Ragini Jha (mental health counselor and podcaster for Open Minds) ponder how South Asian and Western media affects the way women operate and exist within romantic relationships. We discuss how media portrayal of romance can be often toxic and fantastical. In regards to heterosecual pairings we question how women's representation in media affects feminism, brainstorming ways for women to be equal stakeholders in their romantic relationships with men.
Movies with healthy or nuanced portrayals of relationships:
- Kapoor and Sons
- Queen
- Ajeeb Dastans, specifically the episode "Ankahi"
- Thappad
- Ok Jaanu
Ragini can be found:
Instagram @cardamom.counselling
Website: www.cardamomcounselling.com
Episode 4.14: I Never Loved My Parents, with Symin Adive
Symin sheds insight on how her abusive familial origin defines her art and comedy. Symin's work exposes societal issues with relationships. Symin is an observer; her work is a commentary on individualism, traditionalism, hierarchy, inherent competitiveness, sexism, and a whole bunch of other -isms. Thought provoking and poignant, Symin attempts to provide actionable steps to these issues via interactive experiences and education: with pieces such as her series “Notes for a Desi Utopia.” Finally, she shares with us her journey to becoming a multimedia artist, her vision for our future, and the legacy she hopes to leave behind.
Symin can be found:
IG: @sighmean
Website/Portfolio: syminadive.com
Episode 4.13: This Power Trip is All Upside Brown, with Yash Hatkar and Rahul Dhiman
Yash, Rahul, and Upside Brown can be found:
IG, FB, TikTok: @upsidebrownseries
YouTube: Upside Brown
Rahul Dhiman: @___rahuldhiman___
Yash Hatkar: @yashhotcar
Episode 4.12: Personal Branding is a form of Self-Advocacy, with Urmi Hossain
Urmi can be found:
Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/urmi-hossain/
YouTube: www.youtube.com/channel/UCZoiI0SGU0Xo9_lNjtLWtgg
Blog: myways.ca
Instagram: @urmamio
Her book on Amazon: Discovering Your Identity: A Rebirth From Interracial Struggle
Episode 4.11: The Birds, the Bees, and the Bitter Truths with Bushra "Apa" Mollick
Link to the BD Sex Education website: www.bdsexeducation.com/
Website visits since December 2021 launch: 130,000
Facebook page: www.facebook.com/BushraApaEdu/
Instagram page: www.instagram.com/bdsexeducation/
Episode 4.10: The Doubting Disease, with Vardaan Arora
Take all the stereotypes you’ve heard about people with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and just throw them out the damn window. Host Tanushree sits with singer-songwriter and actor Vardaan Arora to get a real account of his personal journey with mental health and specifically, OCD. Although OCD looks and feels different for each individual, Vardaan sheds light on the cycle of obsessive thoughts, compulsions, and ritualistic behavior. Calling OCD “the doubting disease” is an apt descriptor; Vardaan opens up about his sense of identity and mental security as a result of the distressing, and sometimes dangerous, nature of ego-dystonic* thought. Finding help for OCD isn’t easy – and Vardaan covers why treatments like talk therapy or an attempt at logicking yourself out of obsessive thoughts only feeds the disorder. Finally, he shares how his OCD has affected his relationships as well as his life and craft as an artist.
A longtime mental health advocate, Vardaan has released several tracks on the topic including: “Feel Good Song”, “Obsessive”, “Imposter Syndrome”, “Do You Hate Me?”, and his latest single, “Diamond Tears.”
*Ego-dystonic thought refers to impulses, and behaviors that are inconsistent with one’s idea of themselves. They are often felt to be repulsive, upsetting, and unacceptable.
NOTE: This episode is only a personal experience. It is not meant to give actual medical advice. If you suspect you or someone you know has symptoms of OCD, always seek advice from a trained, medical professional.
Vardaan Arora can be found:
Instagram, TikTok, Twitter: @vardaanarora
Spotify
Apple Music
Episode 4.09: I'll Never Be Alive Again, with Anisha Savan
Welcome back to The Desi Condition! After a four month hiatus for the summer, we are back with new episodes. This time, Anu and Tanushree speak with horror filmmaker Anisha Savan about her third short film, I'll Never Be Alive Again. Inspired by themes of COVID-related depression, OCD, guilt, and grief, Anisha uses filmmaking to tell the story of a zombie attempting to come back to life. Though fantastical, viewers may find themes of hopelessness and a dystopian future that feels closer than comfort. Moreover, Anisha uses the film to interrogate the question of whether forgiveness is possible after committing the unthinkable. In the second half of the episode, Anisha speaks to her creative journey with filmmaking. She shares personal influences and thoughts on the future of South Asian representation in horror. Anisha can be found: IG: @anishasavan, @neveralive_film Website: anishasavan.com
Episode 4.08: Family Mental Health, with Shelly Sood and Nikhil Torsekar
But Nikhil and Shelly's story takes an unexpected twist when Nikhil is diagnosed with bipolar disorder. On this episode, we discuss their mental health journey as a family; sweeping issues under the rug, their marriage falling apart and coming back together, and coming to terms with seeking help. Shelly discusses her ability to separate Nikhil, the person, from his disorder even in the wake of all the hurt she faced. Nikhil shares his journey with his bipolar diagnosis and how Shelly helped him seek treatment. They describe how their kids and parents dealt with the diagnosis and their contentious divorce -- that never actually went through. Together, they weave a story of unwavering faith in the future and in each other.
Shelly and Nikhil can be reached:
giostarchicago.com
shellysood.com
Podcast: The Shelly Story
Instagram and Twitter: @theshellystory
Episode 4.07: Bad Bitches Beat Burnout, with Niki Aggarwal
Niki can be found:
kahaani.io
Instagram: @kahaani.io
Twitter: @kahaani_io
Podcast: Misrepresented
Episode 4.06: Interview with Sujata Day and Ritesh Rajan
In this episode, we chat with Sujata and Ritesh about the importance and impact of South Asian representation within mainstream media to highlight mental health stigma. Sujata and Ritesh speak about their relationship with South Asian identity and how it has shaped their respective paths as storytellers who consistently strive to “create their own table.” We get to learn more about their stories as South Asian artists, and their coming up as professional actors in Hollywood. Equal parts inspiring and insightful, Sujata and Ritesh divulge what can only be interpreted as a responsible, modern take on South Asian representation in creative spaces. Personally, we think their stance is a beautiful, raw example of what we’ve always coined as “The Desi Condition.” Learn more about the motivation behind Definition Please and their plans to continue breaking barriers for South Asian creators.
**REMASTERED AND UPDATED** Episode 4.05: Platonic Heartbreak (Mailbag)
"Platonic love is the one we choose. That's why it feels so devastating when we lose it."
This episode is a throwback to a fan favorite. First published in March 2019 (pre-pandemic!) and always in TDC history's top five, this episode is a collection of stories about the heartbreak of an ending friendship. Though submissions came from across the country and around the world, somehow, the stories tie together with common themes such as mental health, family, socioeconomic status, trauma, and expectations, creating a greater narrative on heartbreak that is tragic, yet relatable.
Special thanks to Ravi (Ravi Ray Audio), who remastered the episode, and the original guests, who were willing to bravely re-open wounds to provide updates on their story years afterwards.
- Tanushree
Episode 4.04: Metaphysical Healing from Trauma, with Mytrae Meliana
Mytrae's story starts as a young adult in the U.S. in the 90's; an Indian graduate student in love with an American man. But her family's expectations catch up to her, and she quickly finds herself forced to give up her dreams, trapped in her family's home under house arrest and enduring abuse. Separated from the world she knew, she finds a way to carve a new path for herself.
Now a psychotherapist, author, and healer, Mytrae shares her story. She expounds on life with a narcissistic parent and how it can affect family dynamics. Outlining her journey through multiple abusive situations, she talks about finding strength to identify and leave those situations to find her own path. Perhaps most remarkable, she shares her journey healing trauma through the metaphysical. And at the end of it all, she shared how she was able to find forgiveness from the heart.
Connect with Mytrae Meliana:
- Email: mytrae@mytraemeliana.com
- www.mytraemeliana.com
Episode 4.03: Under the Veil and Into the Spotlight, with Mrinal Gokhale
Episode 4.02: Lights, Camera, Ashan, with ABC's Ashan Singh
Episode 4.01: Desi Roots and the Music Industry, with Sameer Gadhia (Young The Giant)
Special: Reverse Interview
What's up bondhus? In this episode we flip the script and interview Tanushree. She talks about why she created The Desi Condition, how she developed the brand, and how it has impacted her life. She also provides career advice, and spills the tea on her wacky dreams. Did you know Tanushree has dreams of throwing a South Asian Woodstock? Tune in to this special episode. New season starts on September 15.
Season 3 in Review (and so many other exciting thingz)
- New guests, collabs.
- The Desi Collaborative, for creative professionals
- Lychee, a South Asian diasporic advice column.
- Rukus Avenue Radio
New episodes coming this September.
Episode 3.22: Interview with Jai Wolf (Part 2 of 2)
We’re here to deliver the second installment of our magical and insightful conversation with the legendary Sajeeb Saha, AKA Jai Wolf! In this episode, Sajeeb dives into everything from his musical influences and inspiration, to the story behind the name Jai Wolf. He provides insight into his creative process, describing one that pulls from many different worlds and experiences to evoke intense emotions and to produce music with movie-inspired theatricality. He also explains how he tries to make his live shows authentically him, placing an emphasis on world-building. He largely credits creative genius and hip-hop visionary Kanye West for his 808s-era visceral and undeniable originality as influential to his music. Sajeeb recounts his love for Graduation and even credits Kanye-inspired beats and synth patterns as being emulated in his track, “Indian Summer.”
The conversation takes an amusing turn as Tanushree, and Ravi ask Sajeeb fun questions about his Bengali heritage, cats, and goals for the future. Sajeeb fondly reminisces how fate led him to become a full-time cat dad in 2020. The episode ends with Sajeeb offering words of advice to South Asian creatives attempting to find their way out of adversity and/or to find motivation. If you enjoyed our last installment, you won’t want to miss this dreamy and delightful second half!
Episode 3.21: Interview with Jai Wolf (Part 1 of 2)
What happens when you mix South Asian Bengali and EDM artistry into one? You get the legendary Jai Wolf! In part 1 of a 2-episode installment, Tanushree and Ravi interview the Bangladeshi-born and NYC-bred Sajeeb Saha. They discuss the origins of Jai Wolf, and how historically significant and integral music and art are to South Asian culture. Sajeeb recounts how he broke into the world of electronic music with a classical music background and how his South Asian Bengali identity found its way into his music, leading to the birth of “Indian Summer.” He discusses his artistic evolution and the importance of figuring out who you are as an artist to overcome creative roadblocks and to define what “commercial success” means. In this insightful conversation, Tanushree, Ravi, and Sajeeb dive into the impact of the “immigrant struggle,” including the expectations on South Asian artists and creatives passed on by Desi parents advocating for stable, STEM careers. They explore South Asian representation in the music and entertainment industries and the lackluster South Asian solidarity for/amongst creatives, comedians and artists. Sajeeb credits competitiveness and tribal mentality dating back to colonialism as the foundation for this phenomenon, and the conversation takes a hopeful turn as the three discuss how immigration has helped South Asians become more supportive of one another. The episode ends with Sajeeb and our hosts musing over the hopes of an emergence of a community coming together to form a larger support system for South Asian creatives and artists in the near future
Episode 3.20: Men’s Mental Health with Sachit Grover and Suraj Kandukuri
Episode 3.19: Eco-Unfriendliness, with Vibhati Bhatia of South Asians for Sustainability
What does environmental change and the pursuit of eco-friendliness have to do with mental health? Turns out, a lot!
In this episode we speak with London-based founder of South Asians for Sustainability, Vibhati Bhatia, about the climate change issue and how it pertains to South Asians. We discuss why South Asians are not known for their "green" habits, and how immigration and generational trauma can affect these habits. We dispell myths about global warming, including the misleading rhetoric of overpopulation in poorer countries as a main contributor, and why plastic isn't the only problem. Our discussion leads into the question of how decolonization plays a role in eco frinedliness, and ultimately, mental wellness. It comes full circle as we revisit our ancestral roots in ayurveda and natural remedies. Finally, we discuss some tangible ways in which we can start caring and contributing to a more eco-friendly lifestyle.
Follow @southasiansforsustainability and visit our website at tdcpodcast.com for additional resources on the sustainable movement, including the technical science behind climate change and waste-reducing alternatives.
Episode 3.18: Fake it 'Til you Make it!, with Hani Anis of Anis Collections
In this episode, Anu and Tanushree interview Hani, our creative lead, about her successful business in fashion. She talks about her journey, design process, and time management. But underneath it all, is a nagging, intrusive imposter syndrome that she must battle everyday. We discuss how she works against it to garner the confidence to pursue the ideas and goals she has for her company. Finally, the three of us talk about our shared experience in making massive career changes in our 20's: using passion at the propellant to stress and fear management, negotiating wit hopes and dreams, and defining the "fake it 'til you make it" mentality.
Episode 3.17: Gender-Based Violence, with Aysha Qamar
Aysha Qamar is a writer, poet, and advocate based in the tri-state area, with experience addressing issues of violence against women, language access, and Islamophobia. In this episode she shares how people - especially immigrants - end up becoming trapped in domestic violence situations. Aysha offers a top-down perspective on the severity and variety of issues that South Asian and other communities need to be aware of such as finance, immigration laws, family dynamics, limited resources, and more. It is due to these issues that not just women but men face violence as well. Perhaps most surprisingly, we learn why education isn't always the solution to domestic violence situations
As a poet and freelance writer, Aysha has been published in various publications including: Brown Girl Magazine, the Huffington Post, The Muslim Observer, Everyday Feminism, The Teal Mango, The Tempest, the New York Post’s Decider, and elsewhere. Common themes in her work include advocating for immigration reform, gender parity, feminism, xenophobia and cultural competency.
Visit tdcpodcast.com to learn more about what we can do to help.
Episode 3.16: Shapes of Shaadi, with Single to Shaadi's Radha Patel
Episode 3.15: The Asexual Spectrum, with Vipasha and Rakshitha of Acey Desi
Did you know that until 2013, asexuality was considered a mental illness by the American Psychiatric Association?
In this episode, Acey Desi's Vipasha and Rakshitha share their realizations and journey as South Asian asexuals. As two of the six admins of Acey Desi, with the platorm they aim to provide resources, media, and experiences for South Asian Asexuals. We chat about the history of asexuality perception and the LGBTQIA+ spectrum in general. We discuss the validity of measures of sexuality such as the split-attraction model and the Kinsey scale, and assess. They share their point of view on the coming out to South Asian parents and explain their experiences maintaining relationships as asexuals, with allosexuals (people who regularly experience sexual attraction). Oh, and cake. We chat a lot about cake.
Episode 3.14: Redefining ABCD
"Am I Desi enough? Am I TOO Desi?" If you're South Asian, chances are you've asked yourself these questions before.
In this episode I speak with the ladies of the podcast Redefining ABCD: Sneha & Keerthi! Two Tamilian-Americans, they question what ABCD culture is, and discuss how to turn the "confused" in ABCD and into "confident." We also discuss the trappings of a "hyphenated identity": having labels such as "oreo" or "fob" assigned to you, and knowing how to distinguish between your and your community's voice in your head. Finally, we talk about preserving culture as a new South Asian microculture, and what our role as overseas Desis is in forging a new collective identity for our communities.
Check out Part 1 of this conversation on Redefining ABCD's podcast for Tanushree's feature, where we talk about career moves and education.
Episode 3.13: Romance? Whoa-mance!
Episode 3.12: Body Shame and Dating (Mailbag)
Special thanks to everyone who contributed to the episode: Zubi Ahmed (@damnzoob), Ravi Lad (@itsravilad), and Anu Upad (@anu_upad)
Episode 3.11: Migrant Mental Health, with Joseph Kolapudi
Episode 3.10: Civic Engagement vs. Mental Health, with Kartik Ramkumar
Did you know grocery stores use census data to stock their shelves?
In this episode, Kartik and Tanushree talk about the importance of civic engagement including why it's important to fill out the census, who can do it, and why we should all vote. We also explore the effect that partaking in civic duties can have on mental health, particularly during this pivotal moment in the U.S's political history. Civic engagement can help you to discover your own voice and empower you to create change during these times. We discuss how it affects every aspect of your life, and how every small step counts.
Episode 3.09: South Asians in Therapy, with Dr. Vijayeta Sinh
Dr. VijayetaSinh, Clinical Psychologist and Relationship Expert helps people uncover the hidden rules of relationships that can build a more peaceful and satisfying life. Founder of TherapyCouchNYC, Vijayeta uses unconventional wisdom to help clients get to the next level in terms of closeness, trust, and commitment.
In this episode, Vijayeta provides insight into the way South Asians tend to approach therapy, and some of the reasons they choose to seek it. She talks about how our relationship with our culture and families can negatively affect our sense of self and identity. We discuss why reparenting is a crucial responsibility we should undertake as adults. For many, without therapy, we may be unable to realize the wounds our inner child needs to heal in order to have healthy relationships with other people and most of all, with ourselves.
Episode 3.08: He Comes From A Good Family, with Anisha Savan
Having minimal experience in film, Anisha Savan took a chance on herself and created the short film “He Comes From A Good Family.” Drawing a connection between a mother’s desperation to see their daughter settled and cultish behavior, she uses the film to express her frustration with societal pressure to get married at near any cost. Through filmmaking, Anisha has been able to learn to be more authentically herself despite the many creative barriers and challenges she faced throughout her 20’s. By following her lifelong passion of storytelling, she has learned to negotiate her creative energy with her religious background, and the anxiety of whether she’s made her family proud.
Episode 3.07: Comedy and Migration, with Shafi Hossain
Shafi Hossain (@shafistandsup) is a Bangladeshi immigrant, chemical engineer, comedian, and fellow podcaster. In this episode, we discuss his mental health journey through migration. He talks about acclimation and seeking therapy as a response. We learn more about how for him, comedy is not just a coping mechanism but a means for self discovery. The conversation veers towards Shafi's minimalist approach to life, and we launch into a discussion of the power of limitations and boundaries Shafi recently launched a podcast called Americanized. His podcast, comedy, and contact info can be found here.
Episode 3.06: Divorce and Self Worth, with Nausheen Farishta
In this episode, Nausheen reflects on her own experience with divorce. She speaks about staying true to herself throughout the process, and how she improved her relationship with herself pre-and post-divorce. Through examining her relationship with herself and her background she explains the decision to get divorced, converging on the fact that South Asian culture encourages the act of settling for relationships that are unhealthy and unfulfilling.
Nausheen runs a travel, food, and wellness blog at globe-gazers.com. She also recently launched a podcast, The Self Worth Edit, about personal growth topics such as self love, mental health, relationships, and confidence for South Asian women primarily, and beyond.
Episode 3.05: Financial Health vs. Mental Health, with Mohammed Faisal (Founder of MoneyHub)
Episode 3.04: Toxic Conditioning, with Smita Chand
Episode 3.03: Religion, Spirituality, and Mental Health, with Nafisa Islam
Nafisa (founder of Children of 1971) and I chat about our experiences with religion and mental health. In this episode we relate the reasons that we rejected religion due to mental health stigma, sexuality, misogyny, and more. Over the course of the episode we dive into how we eventually found spirituality to be useful in our respective mental health journeys, learning to overcome the taboos and stigma of mental health and redefining it in ways that work for us.
We also talk about the Hindu/Muslim conflict in India and Bengal (West Bengal and Bangladesh), and how the divisive nature of it from both of our communities pushed us away from religion, along with the effect that the current event political climate in India has had on us, including Hindu supremacy and nationalism.
This episode was recorded during the month of Ramadan, but it's release was delayed due to current events and the need for relevant and healing discussions about race, accountability, and COVID.
Episode 3.02: POC and Provider Relationships in Emergency Care
In this episode, we hear from two NYC Emergency medicine physicians: Dr. Gaurav Bhargava and Dr. Debashree S. about how race plays a factor in the patient/provider relationship during COVID-19, as well as more generally. They talk about how their responsibilities in regards to end of life care have shifted with patients and their families during the pandemic. We also discuss cultural barriers to treatment, why there is mistrust in the medical community among communities of color, and ways to address implicit biases in medicine. ---
For further questions and comments, Gaurav can be reached via email at falconsfan3@gmail.com and Debashree at ds2658@columbia.edu.
--- Notable time stamps:
49:45: The statistic that Gaurav quotes refers to Black males matriculated in medical school in the U.S. only - not all Black graduates - which is approximately 500 per year. According to the AAMC, there were 1,238 Black graduates in 2019, which comprises only 6.2% of all graduates.
1:57: a special performance sung by Tanushree's cat Pippin.
Episode 3.01: South Asian Accountability and Action Items for Black Lives (Mailbag episode)
Episode 3.00: Season 2 In Review
Episode 2.15: Mental Health In The Workplace, with Yamini Bhandari from Millenial Jobs
In this episode I speak with Yamini, founder of the Millennial Jobs newsletter, which posts job boards and resources on a monthly basis. We hear from Yamini about various polls she has conducted through their Instagram page @millennialcareerpolls, and talk about why we need to reframe the job narrative around satisfaction and happiness.
Catch up on the May issue here.
Episode 2.14: Bipolar Disorder, with Subrina Singh
Subrina Singh (@subrinaksingh), mental health advocate and writer for Brown Girl Magazine, shares her experience with bipolar disorder. She talks about her road to diagnosis and treatment. We talk about the intersection of different mental illnesses such as depression, anxiety, and mania as it relates to bipolar. Finally, she tells us with how she learned to not just accept but fall in love with having bipolar disorder.
To read more on this topic from Subrina, visit tdcpodcast.com.
--- Coming soon: Submit yourself to the creatives directory
Episode 2.13: The Sociology of Love, with Sabreet Kang Rajeev
She analyzes why her relationship with her parents was fraught, and how she learned to look beyond her gender in her journey of self discovery. She shares how their relationship changed when she found her voice, and the conversation with her father that changed everything. Finally, she tells us how order to truly understand love, she needed to look within to see where and why she was hurting.
We discuss why love is a particular challenge for Desi females, and how gender inequality can affect all types of relationships. We also talk about the dangers of imposing your own narrative and standards onto others, and the importance of healing the "inner child" - so that we can all learn to love, unfiltered. Sabreet's first book, Generation Zero, is set to release this fall. Visit sabreetkangrajeev.com for more information.
Episode 2.12: Why Eating Disorders? With Vaidehi Gajjar
What are eating disorders? Are they a pattern of restricting, binging, or purging food? Or are they actually a symptom of some greater unaddressed mental health issue and/or past traumas?
In this episode, I speak with writer Vaidehi Gajjar (@vgajjar95, Brown Girl Magazine, We Are Saath, Circuit Sehat, The PFA Institute) about our past shared experiences as South Asians with an eating disorder. We talk about the unique ways our culture can feed into and/or delay treatment of them, as well as intimate details about how it personally affected our illnesses. In addition, we break down how we think they developed, the recovery process, relapse, and the slippery slope of comparisons in mental health. We also discuss why it's difficult to predict the future of the Desi condition of E.D.s and suggest ways to reframe the question of eating disorders especially as it pertains to the Desi condition.
For further reading on eating disorders, please visit tdcpodcast.com.
Episode 2.11: Platonic Heartbreak (Mailbag episode)
This episode is a collection of stories from people who have suffered such a loss. They share why their friendship ended, how it felt to navigate life without their friend, and how they grew from it. Contributors dissect their lost friendships and explore how factors as mental health, socioeconomic status, trauma, lack of boundaries, and of course, the ubiquitous Desi norm of suppressing emotions, can affect friendships negatively.